Rapists have visitation right in 31 states

Hajjerr

He is Dhul-Jalali Wal-Ikram
Salam aleikum

While a student in my final year of college, at age 21, I was raped. I have dissected that moment -- the horrifying moment that I became a "victim" -- from every possible angle. I have poked and prodded, examined and re-examined. Regrettably, I have even suspected myself in a desperate, ultimately futile attempt to understand how I became a victim.

But blaming myself was neither my idea nor my first inclination. I thought such 17th-century notions were long dead. I was wrong. People who did not even know me were quick to comment or speculate on my rape. What were you wearing? Did you scream loudly? Did this occur in public?
As my history lesson said, I found myself on trial, facing the most fierce judge and jury: ignorance.

Eight years after my rape, I find myself on trial against ignorance again. Rep. Todd Akin's recent comments that "legitimate rape" rarely results in pregnancy not only flout scientific fact but, for me, cut deeper. Akin has de-legitimized my rape.
You see, nine months after my rape, I gave birth to a beautiful little girl. You could say she was conceived in rape; she was. But she is also so much more than her beginnings. I blissfully believed that after I finally had decided to give birth to and to raise my daughter, life would be all roses and endless days at the playground. I was wrong again.
It would not be long before I would learn firsthand that in the vast majority of states -- 31 -- men who father through rape are able to assert the same custody and visitation rights to their children that other fathers enjoy. When no law prohibits a rapist from exercising these rights, a woman may feel forced to bargain away her legal rights to a criminal trial in exchange for the rapist dropping the bid to have access to her child.


When faced with the choice between a lifetime tethered to her rapist or meaningful legal redress, the answer may be easy, but it is not painless. For the sake of her child, the woman will sacrifice her need to see her once immensely powerful perpetrator humbled by the court.
I know it because I lived it. I went to law school to learn how to stop it.
Having fought this injustice for the past several years, I have come to believe that ignorance is to blame for this legal absence. Opponents argue no woman would ever choose to raise the child she conceived through rape. The only two studies to analyze the choices made by pregnant raped women indicate otherwise -- at least 30% of women who conceive by rape make this choice.
Others argue that no rapist would ever seek parental rights. Not only does my experience and that of others I know prove otherwise, but it is not surprising that a man who cruelly degrades a woman would also seek to torture her in an even more agonizing way, by seeking access to her child.
Today, it seems we may face a new and unbelievable challenge: convincing legislators that women can conceive when they are raped.
http://edition.cnn.com/2012/08/22/opinion/prewitt-rapist-visitation-rights/index.html
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An interesting case out of Massachusetts is making headlines around the country. The case involves a rapist, who admits that he is the father of the child born to his underage victim, and is seeking visitation rights to the child.

In the state of Massachusetts, this is considered to be a precedent-setting legal fight, with the victim as and her family both fighting back against the rapist’s visitation rights claim.

The girl was raped when she was 14, and became pregnant as a result. She decided to keep her baby. She remains a teen mother, and according to her parents, continues to suffer from severe anxiety and depression. The rape occurred when she was in the 8th grade, and the man involved was a 20-year-old whom she met at a local church. Attorneys for the man say that the relationship that resulted in the child was actually consensual, even though it was inappropriate because of the age difference between the 2.

In 2009, the man was charged with statutory rape of a child, and pleaded guilty. He was sentenced to 16 years of probation on the condition that he acknowledge that he is the father of the child, and abide by all the decisions of the Family Court.

The court ordered the rapist to pay child support, and as a result, he has now decided to seek visitation rights. The child in this case is 3 years old.

Currently, there are 31 states in the United States that do not prevent rapists from trying to obtain visitation rights. In the state of Washington, for instance, there are no laws that prevent a rapist from seeking child custody or visitation rights for children conceived as a result of the rape.

Posted on October 2, 2012 at 10:45 am
by Eric Engel
 

Aisya al-Humaira

الحمدلله على كل حال
May Allaah protects our daughters, nieces, little girls and all our sisters from the evils of this world in the form of a man. And may Allaah cure those raped women; internally and spiritually.

Ameen.
 

Hajjerr

He is Dhul-Jalali Wal-Ikram
Salam aleykum

Ameen to your words.
Is almost unbearable to imagine such experiences and the burdens that come after, your privacy and your rights to be violated at such level...due to the lack of mercy, humanity and protection from the others.

Our Lord! Bestow on us mercy from Your presence and dispose of our affairs for us in the right way. (18:10)
 

Casiva

A Servant of Allah
Why are you suprised?This is the "freedom" that proudly shown by this country. Like freedom to insult another religion,burn another religion's book,and now give rights to rapists to torture their victims more by legally claim their children born by "force". Freedom without limit that can cause human degradation. Who cares? The most important thing is "freedom"...
Still support this country?I better limit myself by not using products of this freedom-goes-to-evil-country
 

Hajjerr

He is Dhul-Jalali Wal-Ikram
Salam aleykum sister

Who is suprised dear sister ? Most of us agree with what you said, this is not freedom or civilisation,
islam can be the only way for equal rights and peace ..when is followed properly.

:salam2:
 

Hajjerr

He is Dhul-Jalali Wal-Ikram
Salam aleikum

Yes, is in the NEWS section and the news are showing us what happens around us. If you are not interested please dont read.

:salam2:
 

Aapa

Mirajmom
Assalaam alaikum,

Laws are elastic. They can be challenged on many levels. However, that has little to do with us.

When we post something we must be ready to appreciate all views to come to understanding. That is the Islamic way. That is the mature way.

If a man has served his time and according to the law been forgiven why can he not move forward? Or is this simply a matter of hypocrisy? That serving time in prison is a facade and there can be no forgiveness? If the society that has made the law states that he is totally forgiven then what? Husbands are sent to prison for raping wives yet we allow lesbians to raise children. We celebrate same sex unions. Which is a bigger sin to allow a man to support a child born out of rape or to allow a lesbian to be a father?
 

Aisya al-Humaira

الحمدلله على كل حال
Assalaam alaikum,

May I ask what the purpose of this thread is?

Wa`alaykum as-salaam wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh,

Knowing the evil of this world will make us better equip our family with the safety needed. Sure, we can't always protect our family from evils in this world and can't play much with the laws but it creates awareness. Awareness will ignite us to be more careful.

This actually opened our eyes among the many hikmaah why a woman needs to be accompanied by a mahram when she goes out. Yeah, I know not everyone is fortunate to have a mahram to accompany her 24/7, but at least men will feel more responsible to protect their sisters, hopefully.

In the end, only Allaah alone can protect anyone He wishes and test those whom He wishes.

Wa`alaykum as-salaam wa rahmatullah.
 

Aapa

Mirajmom
Assalaam alaikum,

Here are some facts to think about:

Sexual violence may occur in any type of relationship, but most perpetrators of sexual assault are known to their victims. Among victims ages 18 to 29, two-thirds had a prior relationship with the offender. The Bureau of Justice Statistics (BJS) reports that 6 in 10 rape or sexual assault victims said that they were assaulted by an intimate partner, relative, friend or acquaintance. A study of sexual victimization of college women showed that 9 out of 10 victims knew the person who sexually victimized them. [1] One research project found that 34 percent of women surveyed were victims of sexual coercion by a husband or intimate partner in their lifetime. [2]

http://www.nij.gov/topics/crime/rape-sexual-violence/victims-perpetrators.htm
 

Seeking Allah's Mercy

Qul HuwaAllahu Ahud!
Salam aleikum

Yes, is in the NEWS section and the news are showing us what happens around us. If you are not interested please dont read.

:salam2:
Asalamo`Alaykum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakaatuh,

You made me lol. I'm starting to really like you...Not that I didn't already.

I was feeling too overwhelmed to say much, but tbh this kinda thing is good to know. Those modernist feminist leave no stone unturn to cast doubts into our minds about our deen by quoting our religious texts to us. It's better for us to know about the mountain of filth they try to hide by sitting on it.

I fully appreciate the blessing of being a Muslimah when I read the nasty designs of men's architect. I remember one of our brother (Ayman1) saying, man has always tried to uncover and use females as they willed right from the beginning of time. When they were about to succeed in this cunning scheme of theirs, they faced a new and tough problem i.e Islam.

All this ridiculous stuff just proves it, when you haven't got Allah's deen in any shape, sort or form in your life, you act lower than animals and you think it right and try to defend it. A man who should have been stoned is being given visitation rights by the state. What more can we expect from them?
 

Hajjerr

He is Dhul-Jalali Wal-Ikram
Asalamo`Alaykum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakaatuh,

You made me lol. I'm starting to really like you...Not that I didn't already.

I was feeling too overwhelmed to say much, but tbh this kinda thing is good to know. Those modernist feminist leave no stone unturn to cast doubts into our minds about our deen by quoting our religious texts to us. It's better for us to know about the mountain of filth they try to hide by sitting on it.

I fully appreciate the blessing of being a Muslimah when I read the nasty designs of men's architect. I remember one of our brother (Ayman1) saying, man has always tried to uncover and use females as they willed right from the beginning of time. When they were about to succeed in this cunning scheme of theirs, they faced a new and tough problem i.e Islam.

All this ridiculous stuff just proves it, when you haven't got Allah's deen in any shape, sort or form in your life, you act lower than animals and you think it right and try to defend it. A man who should have been stoned is being given visitation rights by the state. What more can we expect from them?

wa aleykum salam wa rahmatulahy wa barakatuh

Dear sister, to learn from other`s experiences i think is a good thing.
Every day i feel blessed to be a muslim, but you see humans tend to forget very fast, we need a constant reminder that islam is the only way to keep the right balance in life.

And to keep a baby after a rape...even if people, as we see, blame you..is a brave thing to do, made me think how strong can a woman be in this situation...Allah knows better how he tests each of His creations and you never know who will be the next revert to look up to islam.
May Allah protect all of us.
 

Aapa

Mirajmom
Assalaam alaikum,

Most men are known to women who report rape. Many have had sex with the "rapist" before. Now do the math.

Sister Hajjerr..what is this with even if people blame you. In a society where a woman can have her husband sent to prison and labeled a sex offender there is no blame on her.

Sisters, I still do not see the purpose of this post. You have not taught anything. Be careful in making these comparisons with the laws of the kufr. It is simplistic thinking. We can not afford to be simplistic. We are not little girls raised on European fairy tales.

It is the European fairly tale that boasts of rape and celebrates it.

So what have we learned..that over 60% of the cases of reported rapes the women have been intimate with the perpetrator before. Now, can we look at the laws that you first reported with more understanding. The child maybe a product of a long term relationship.
 

Casiva

A Servant of Allah
Assalaam alaikum,

Laws are elastic. They can be challenged on many levels. However, that has little to do with us.

When we post something we must be ready to appreciate all views to come to understanding. That is the Islamic way. That is the mature way.

If a man has served his time and according to the law been forgiven why can he not move forward? Or is this simply a matter of hypocrisy? That serving time in prison is a facade and there can be no forgiveness? If the society that has made the law states that he is totally forgiven then what? Husbands are sent to prison for raping wives yet we allow lesbians to raise children. We celebrate same sex unions. Which is a bigger sin to allow a man to support a child born out of rape or to allow a lesbian to be a father?

That is sickening law. That is unfair, injustice, very not Islamic and has no heart. I read that the man is not sent to prison,many rapists aren't either. And suddenly they come out of nowhere and claim their fatherhood?What kind of craziness is this? Note to you that they are NOT the husbands! And the law that support lesbian dan gay is the same degradation towards human's value.
Now imagine that you become a victim of rape,then get pregnant and decide to give birth to the baby,then a few years later the rapist comes to claim as the father of the child! HOW DO YOU FEEL? Just forgive him and let him do whatever he wants after he has forced you to give birth to his child without any appropriate punishment? Wow,you must be an angel. I just can't imagine to accept something like that easily. If he is handsome and has a good life,maybe it is still worth it. How if he is not that good looking, jobless, drug-users, drunkard, or basically a total bastard (well,rapists are indeed bastard),would you like your child influenced by him after you have raised your child in good surrounding all this time?
Islam has the best law ever,i.e. stone the rapist or whipped him 100 times so men will think many times before raping women. Not this easy punishment that not scare any men to do bad things to women.
Now we can see what a bad law is made by that arrogant nation. Insya Allah I won't ever come to that country or support it in any kinds
 

Seeking Allah's Mercy

Qul HuwaAllahu Ahud!
wa aleykum salam wa rahmatulahy wa barakatuh

Dear sister, to learn from other`s experiences i think is a good thing.
Every day i feel blessed to be a muslim, but you see humans tend to forget very fast, we need a constant reminder that islam is the only way to keep the right balance in life.

And to keep a baby after a rape...even if people, as we see, blame you..is a brave thing to do, made me think how strong can a woman be in this situation...Allah knows better how he tests each of His creations and you never know who will be the next revert to look up to islam.
May Allah protect all of us.

you know in my very early days at TTI, there was this sister who didn't stay long. She was a victim and though she said it was over a year ago, the pain and distress in her thread was screaming out aloud. I was feeling so miserable just reading what she's been through and I kept thinking what she must be feeling. . .

It's not a bad thing that happens for a day, it's like a life long bad experience. I was really moved by the girls bravery who kept the child. It must have been hard, to look at your child and be reminded of something so terrible. What made me sick was, that to top all this, she now actually has to deal with the beast.

You are right, you never appreciate your covering or like Sister `Aisha pointed out the presence of mahram and all those laws Allah has set for us, till you see the consequences of it's non application.

I see another use for such articals other than personal contemplation. Da`ee's should be equipped with this sorta information. Youth these days thinks the best is the one who is the most secular, most non religious and "immodestly modern". Some sense could be knocked into people if this sort of thing is mentioned while doing dawah and durus. This clearly proves the secular society is an empty package with beautiful wrappings.

JazaakAllaahu khayraa once again for sharing this piece of information. Beastly laws better be known.
 

Aapa

Mirajmom
Assalaam alikum,

Sister Seeking...why is this a beastly law.Seriously explain without being flippant. And when you do explain please explain this in terms of American Law. If you want us to understand that this is beastly do so. What are the precedents for this?

What is the beautiful wrapping you are discussing?

You never answered the question of sentencing. If the society deems that the person is forgiven then what?
 
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