Muslim woman committed suicide

alf2

Islam is a way of life
Assalamu alaykum wa ramatullahi wa barakatu,

From Allah we are created, and to Him we return.

Source: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/ukn...ide-after-lifestyle-attacked-on-Facebook.html

A Muslim woman threw herself from the roof of a City wine bar after being attacked on Facebook over her Western lifestyle, an inquest heard yesterday.

Rema Begum, 29, had been targeted by an anonymous stalker who sent both her and her family hate mail, exposing her relationships with non-Muslim men to her strictly religious parents.

She felt racked with guilt and believed she was leading an impure lifestyle, a close friend disclosed. She had also lost her job as a manager at the British Library and her health had gradually begun to deteriorate to the point at which she struggled to leave the house.

On September 4, Miss Begum had a glass of wine on the terrace of Sir Terence Conran's exclusive Coq D'Argent restaurant near the Bank of England before “calmly” jumping 80ft to her death.

Police found antidepressants and a note containing contact details for her next of kin in the handbag she left on the ledge.

Avril Atkins, who had known her since university, told the inquest that she had been having “some problems” with Facebook.



“Somebody – she didn't know who – had been sending letters to her parents about her lifestyle and relationships,” she said.

“She was getting quite a lot of hate mail – both she and her parents.”

Miss Atkins said that although her friend had followed some Muslim practices and had religious beliefs, she lived a “western lifestyle” and had non-Muslim boyfriends.

“I don't think it was something she openly told (her parents) about, however I believe they found out she had been seeing someone who wasn't Muslim,” she said.

“She did say to me that she hadn't been living a good Muslim life. She said she wanted to live a more Muslim-based life.”

Miss Begum reported the online abuse to the police before deleting her Facebook account and replacing it with one using a different name, the inquest heard.

After losing her job, she left her rented flat in Islington to move back in with her parents in Manor Park, East London.

But the once “happy and bubbly” young woman became increasingly depressed and had sought medical help.

The day before her death she had tried to hang herself at the family home but was taken to hospital by her parents. She was discharged after refusing treatment and promising never to try harming herself again.

Dr Sara Dimic, a psychiatrist who had seen her two months earlier, confirmed she had been suffering with depression but was "guarded" and feared about the confidentiality of the appointment.

She told City of London Coroner's Court: "She revealed to me that she had been feeling guilty for not leading her life according to her family's values and her religion.

"She thought that she had led a life that she was being punished for.

"Her depression was the response to her being pushed from her current job and her moral dilemma in terms of the way she lived her life."

Coroner Paul Matthews heard that a series of suicide notes were found at her home, some dating back four months.

He said there was “no doubt” that she was suffering from depression.

“It appeared to be reactive to the stresses she was subject to in her life,” he said, recording a verdict of suicide.

Three people have died jumping from the Coq D'Argent terrace.

Stockbroker Anjool Malde, 24, jumped clutching a glass of champagne in 2009 after being suspended from his job at Deutsche Bank and Richard Ford, 33, also a City worker, threw himself off the building in May 2007.

Council inspectors ruled that the barriers at the rooftop bar complied with health and safety laws.
 

Shak78

Junior Member
Wow, that person that sent those e-mails is a piece of work and not in a good way. There is no reason to that do, this poor women was mentally unbalanced. I feel for her and her family.
 

alf2

Islam is a way of life
Wow, that person that sent those e-mails is a piece of work and not in a good way. There is no reason to that do, this poor women was mentally unbalanced. I feel for her and her family.

You can tell she was feeling inner turmoil because she knew she was not living an Islamic lifestyle. THEN she had depression and it was not treated properly....And he just pushed her over the edge, literally :(

This was sad to me.

Make dua, we are allowed to make dua for persons who took their own life.
 

Shak78

Junior Member
I will, she was not right in the head sadly and I feel for her. To feel as if you have no other option, as she was trying to get help and then outed by that horrible person. I can't even imagine.
 

ShahnazZ

Striving2BeAStranger
Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi rajioon.

This is truly tragic. Not just the fact that it was a Muslim woman who resorted to suicide, but that many of her fellow Muslims showed ZERO tact in giving her naseehah. If "hate mail" even qualifies as naseehah.

I'm wondering if the haters were also Western-based. Most likely considering that they knew the details of her life. If so, why were they even in the place they hated so much? That's logical. Live in the hemisphere you hate and then hate on others who also chose to live in the same hemisphere. Yeah, that totally makes sense.

We need to remember that as Muslims we need to be extremely gentle and compassionate with one another. Looking down on others and being self-righteous will get one nowhere in this life or in the next. We also need to remember that our iman is a gift from Allah and not from ourselves. Clearly such idiots were lacking true iman, but even if it were true iman, we need to remember that it is SOLELY from Allah and not based on any effort from us. Believing otherwise can get it taken away. This is why we should never look down on those who are weaker in iman then us. And I remind myself first inshAllah.

Additionally, the woman was looking to be an even better Muslim.

*Sigh* Astaghfirullah.

May Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala preserve us and grant justice to her family inshAllah.
 

Tabassum07

Smile for Allah
:salam2:

This is so sad and tragic. It shouldn't have ended this way - there might have been a million paths to take, and this was the one she was forced to take. I can't believe nobody cared enough and left her to go alone just a day after she tried to hang herself.

The saddest thing is she was guilty, and realized she was living badly. If only she met the right people, things wouldn't have ended this way.
 

a_stranger

Junior Member
Assalamu alaikim

I think this calls us to be more caring and loving for others . We should at least smile , say a good word, pray for others.............I pray that Allah make our love for him , hope in his mercy , fear of hell full our hearts and wipe all kind of pain and misery of this ending life . Allahuma forgive all muslimeen and muslemat living and dead.
 

sultanb

Junior Member
And [recall] when Moses said to his people, "O my people, indeed you have wronged yourselves by your taking of the calf [for worship]. So repent to your Creator and kill yourselves. That is best for [all of] you in the sight of your Creator." Then He accepted your repentance; indeed, He is the Accepting of repentance, the Merciful. 2.54

O you who have believed, do not consume one another's wealth unjustly but only [in lawful] business by mutual consent. And do not kill yourselves [or one another]. Indeed, Allah is to you ever Merciful. 4.29

Sad news to read, especially with the recent Newtown,CT. We must hold on to the knowledge that Allah is most Merciful.

Imagine the time of the Prophet (sall allahu alayhi salaam) when daughters are murdered and those who turned Muslims after. How can you live with memory of a terrible past if Allah had not inform us that He is the Merciful One?
 

islamerica

1 Ummah under God
And [recall] when Moses said to his people, "O my people, indeed you have wronged yourselves by your taking of the calf [for worship]. So repent to your Creator and kill yourselves. That is best for [all of] you in the sight of your Creator." Then He accepted your repentance; indeed, He is the Accepting of repentance, the Merciful. 2.54

we already established in another thread, suicide is one sin for which you can't repent.

If only she met the right people, things wouldn't have ended this way.

it's not a question of meeting the right people, she had a whole family to go back home to. It says in the article her family was very religious, not sure how she ended up going the wrong way and engaging in major sins.

I just hope the harasser has realized the error of his way and feel remorse enough to repent.
 

sultanb

Junior Member
we already established in another thread, suicide is one sin for which you can't repent.
I just hope the harasser has realized the error of his way and feel remorse enough to repent.

I apologize for being unclear. I wasn't establishing anything, just pointing out that people who want to kill themselves, especially in this case the person having problems because she's not living a pious life, forgets that Allah is Merciful.

And yes, the surat regarding Moses (alayhi salam) does not suggest killing yourselves.

O you who have believed, do not consume one another's wealth unjustly but only [in lawful] business by mutual consent. And do not kill yourselves [or one another]. Indeed, Allah is to you ever Merciful. 4.29
 

Um Ibrahim

Alhamdulilah :)
This is really sad. Subhanalaah, people now a days...they forget the ettiquetes of advising people. May Allah forgive her sins Amin. But it's obvious that when a person forgets Allah and disobeys Allah's commandments, shaytan will really get to the person's mind until the person feels they have no other choice but suicide. I'm guessing this was the case with that woman. Nevertheless, may Allah forgive her for her sins and mistakes. She was a Muslim after all.
 

Um Ibrahim

Alhamdulilah :)
Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi rajioon.

This is truly tragic. Not just the fact that it was a Muslim woman who resorted to suicide, but that many of her fellow Muslims showed ZERO tact in giving her naseehah. If "hate mail" even qualifies as naseehah.

I'm wondering if the haters were also Western-based. Most likely considering that they knew the details of her life. If so, why were they even in the place they hated so much? That's logical. Live in the hemisphere you hate and then hate on others who also chose to live in the same hemisphere. Yeah, that totally makes sense.

We need to remember that as Muslims we need to be extremely gentle and compassionate with one another. Looking down on others and being self-righteous will get one nowhere in this life or in the next. We also need to remember that our iman is a gift from Allah and not from ourselves. Clearly such idiots were lacking true iman, but even if it were true iman, we need to remember that it is SOLELY from Allah and not based on any effort from us. Believing otherwise can get it taken away. This is why we should never look down on those who are weaker in iman then us. And I remind myself first inshAllah.

Additionally, the woman was looking to be an even better Muslim.

*Sigh* Astaghfirullah.

May Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala preserve us and grant justice to her family inshAllah.

True words! Looking down on people is not right and is a sign that one is arrogant. Allah doesn't like those who are arrogant. Shaytan was arrogant and look at what happened to him! May Allah save us from arrogance and all evil diseases of the heart, mind and body. Amin.
 

Hajjerr

He is Dhul-Jalali Wal-Ikram
Salam aleykum

Attacked on facebook...i dont know if is of any use for me to say this but one measure of protecting our life is to not open this gate of shaytan called facebook, i see absolutely no reasonable benefit for a muslim or any other person to join it.
Whatever we want to study or get information about, we can do it without inviting hundreds of strangers in our privacy.
And Allah knows best.
 

Hajjerr

He is Dhul-Jalali Wal-Ikram
“All actions are judged by motives, and each person will be rewarded according to their intention. Thus, he whose migration was to God and His Messenger, his migration is to God and His Messenger; but he whose migration was for some worldly thing he might gain, or for a wife he might marry, his migration is to that for which he migrated.” (Saheeh Al-Bukhari, Saheeh Muslim)
 

queenislam

★★★I LOVE ALLAH★★★
Assalamu'alaikum!
Greeting,

Poor woman!
everything came in at once
i see she couldn't get lose
and didn't seek proper help at this point.

1)She should seek help from islamic's council too,

2)She could always close and open a new facebook account and stop sharing sensitive
too personal!


3)She failed to intentified her enemy which was the very person sending her the hate letter could be the very person
who was jealous and know who she actually was and waiting
for her destruction which finally got what they wished.

She should ignore
ignore and ignore.

...Sympathy and condolences
to her family and friends.

~May Allah swt help,protect and guide all muslims~Amin!

Thank you for sharing
sister.

~Wassalam.
 

Precious Star

Junior Member
I often wondered how could an apple fall so far away from the tree.

Really?

What was the biggest challenge to Islam when it was first revealed to the Holy Prophet? The fact that he was preaching in a land of nonbelievers. The struggles of the early muslims were horrendous because they were living amongst nonmuslims whose values, morals and ways of life were so vastly different to the Islamic way of life.

And did our parents as muslims learn from this? No. Instead, muslims have come "full circle" and have deliberately decided to place the muslim ummah back in the same position as those early Muslims. In the 20th century, we saw a huge migratory trend where muslims left their muslim countries behind to set up their lives in non muslim lands. Starting in the 1960s and 1970s, people left muslim countries to set up shop in the UK, USA and Canada. They gave birth to children and raised their children. In a nonmuslim country. Astaghfirullah.

What did they think, it would not come with associated ills? Did they think that Allah SWT was smiling down on them, as they packed their suitcases, boarded planes, landed in kaffir lands, and they proceeded to have babies and raise them amongst kaffirs? That surge in immigration from muslim to nonmuslim lands was totally unIslamic. It is especially difficult on the daughters of those parents. The expectations on the daughters have been far, far more onerous, as many of us have not been able to find muslim spouses in the nonmuslim jungle, we have no source of economic or social support, etc.

The story of this woman is not that unbelievable. She would not have been put in the psychological distress that she was, had her parents remained in their muslim environment. She would never have turned to nonmuslim boyfriends or started drinking alcohol or have been wracked by guilt.
 
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