Advice to Muslim Bride /Wife

Discussion in 'Women, Family, and Marriage' started by IslamIsLight, Jan 14, 2009.

  1. IslamIsLight
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    IslamIsLight Islam is my life Staff Member

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    salam aleikum my dear sisters ...
    I want to share some advices about Marriage ...
    This is mostly for those who just got married or who is going to get married...
    I will be choosing short topics and writing it every day , from the book that I'm reading inshaAllah ...

    We all have to learn and study our beautiful religion ..
    May Allah help us to become better Muslimahs ,better wives ,mothers and sisters...ameen



    [img=left]http://tbn2.google.com/images?q=tbn:ZRpqbbIoOGOEPM:http://www.fabiovisentin.com/photography/photo/12/red-rose-macro-dsc01410.jpg[/img]
    Etiquette of Meeting One's Husband when he returns from a journey




    Before leaving on a journey , a husband asked his wife what he should bring for her.

    She said:,"May Allah bring you back safely because you are my greatest blessing in this world and Hereafter .I need nothing but that you return to me safely ."

    Any husband would be glad to hear such a reply because it indicates that she loves him more than material things..

    When the husband returns ,the wife should ask him how he is feeling and whether everything went well.

    She should show concern about what he ate and what he did .She should express gratitude to Allah for returning him home safely and should also tell the children to express gratitude to Allah.When her husband returns ,the wife should never bombard him with all the problems she experienced in his absence and then follow this up with a baggage of questions like What did you bring for me ?
    What did you bring for children? and Did you spend all our money ?Such questions will cause a wife to fall from the sight of her husband .

    Of course once he has settled at home ,she may ask him everything about the journey .She should also show happiness with whatever he brings for her even though it may not be exactly what she wants .

    She should never tell him that he should have brought something in a different style ,a different colour ,etc..

    Saying such things will hurt his feelings and discourage him from bringing gifts in future.She should praise everything he brings and thank him profusely.​
  2. IslamIsLight
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    IslamIsLight Islam is my life Staff Member

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    [img=right]http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:rXDI_Uhzh3CrjM:http://www.freewebs.com/jadeastin/White%2520Rose.jpg[/img]
    Take Good care of your husband possessions ​


    A wife should be particular about caring for her husband's possessions and keeping them in an orderly fashion.The room should always be neat,the bed should always made and the bedding always clean.It is useless if the husband has to tell the wife to keep the house tidy because things are more appreciated when they get done without a bidding.

    The wife should be even more particular about the tidiness of those things that her husband is fussy about .If he gives her something to put away ,she should ensure that she keeps it safely.Hos clothes should be folded or hung and not left strewn around...

    There are women who will found beating children when the husband steps in the house .Whereas the man may be returning tired and frustrated,yearning for peace and quiet home ,he is confronted by wailing children and an irritated wife.The result :He cannot bear being at home and seeks an outlet in parks,clubs,restaurants and other company.


    He gradually begins to hate his family,regarding them as punishment for his sins.

    The incompetence of the wife therefore deprives the innocent children of their father's love and attention.A woman who is constantly screaming at the children and hitting them falls from her husband's eyes and he will soon begin to admire women who are calmer.

    Picture this scene.

    The husband returns home tired.

    As he enters the door his wife is chatting to her naighbor over the fence or talking to someone on the phone.

    Her dressing is shabby and her hair dishevelled.

    The house is in mess ,whith flies buzzing around dirty dishes scattered around the kitchen .

    Opening the refrigirator for some water,he finds it dirty,with no water in the water bottle.

    Picking up a glass to take water from the tap,he finds it sticky and greasy

    .Such a man is justly warranted to weep over his situation.

    Who can blame him for looking for another wife?

    Women should also refrain from making excuses for things they don't do and from lying because this will reduce husband's confidence in them ..
    It should not be that their husbands stop believing even the truths they say...​
  3. Libinette
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    Libinette Umm Zubayr

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    :p I find it quite funny, please keep us posted inshallaah.

    May Allaah make righteous wives!
  4. Asja
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    Asja Pearl of Islaam

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    Assalamu Alaicum dear sister Aisha.

    Mashallah dear sister. Thank you very much for sharing.:)

    Keep up the good work, Inshallah.

    May Allah bless you

    Salam
  5. Muslimah-S
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    Muslimah-S Seek The Almighty

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    :wasalam: sister Aisha
    JazzakAllahu khair for your efforts, keep it up inshAllah. :)


    It is narrated that Umm Salamah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: Any woman who dies when her husband is pleased with her, will enter Paradise.”

    (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi)
  6. IslamIsLight
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    IslamIsLight Islam is my life Staff Member

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    salam aleikum

    :muslim_child:
    Never ask for anything above your husbands possessions
    :muslim_child:

    A wife should be content with whatever her husband can afford to provide for her.

    If she desires something that he is unable to afford ,she should not ask for it
    .
    Should she ask for such a thing ,the husband will automatically think that she is inconsiderate.
    Of course,if the husband asks her what she would like to have ,she may express her desire.
    She should not ask for it without his request because asking people for things lowers one in their sight .
    Ask only from Allah .Allah loves those who ask from Him and is displeased with those who do not ask Him.

    On the other hand ,people become displeased when asked something.Remember that Allah has given people whatever they have and He can easily give you the same.

    Dear sister! It is unfortunate that now days we tend to live beyond our means .
    Apart from the fact that the cost of living has soared ,people tend to turn a blind eye to their necessities and keep buying things that they do not need.A man who is not in debt should be very greatfull to Allah

    .One should remember that besides Allah ,no one will be there for one if one is in financial crisis.Never buy anything that one can do without and never spend beyond one's means.

    It is extremely imprudent of many "fashionable" women to waste their husband's hard earned money on unnecessary clothing and fashion accessories .Every wife ought to economize and save something every month for rainy days.

    Economizing does not mean that one should be miserly.
    It simply means that one should not spend on things that are not necessary and that one should not pay more for something that can be bought for less...
  7. Amir_of_spain
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    Amir_of_spain Junior Member

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    MARSHALLAH

    This is probably the best post i've ever read, i wish i had the power to print out a give a copy to every sister in the world. I was reading it and was thinking wow, this wife is perrrfect. **beaming smile**
  8. justme1983
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    justme1983 Junior Member

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    Masha'Allah sis!!! This is perfect! I'm getting married in a few days insha'Allah and I'm so nervous about being a good wife. Can I ask what book you are reading from? May Allah make us all perfect wives. Ameen.
  9. shaheeda35
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    shaheeda35 strive4Jannah

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    :salam2:
    :ma:Very beneficial articles. May we all benefit inshallah.

    Jazakallahu Khairan dear sister.:muslim_child::muslim_child:
  10. ya allah madad
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    ya allah madad 0mm3afnan

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    :ma: very nice post.
    sister Aisha u sound so motherly.:hijabi:
  11. allah is with me
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    allah is with me Rabana Wa laqal Hamd

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    inshallah sister..........may allah help you -ameen :ma:
  12. IslamIsLight
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    IslamIsLight Islam is my life Staff Member

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    salam aleikum


    :SMILY252::SMILY252::SMILY252:Grave Error of many women​
    :SMILY252::SMILY252::SMILY252:


    It is indeed strange that many women look like street-sweepers and servants when at home with their husbands but dress up smartly when going out of the house.

    Is she dressing up only for others to see?

    She does not dress up for the husband for whose pleasure the clothes were made and for whom she made herself a bride ,but she does this for others.She dresses shabbily before her husband and does not speak politely to him ,yet she dresses exquisitely before others and speak most sweetly with them .

    Others are therefore thrilled at the husband's expense While demanding her rights and maintenance from the husband ,she spends the same to please others.

    Is this justice?

    It is indeed improper for a woman to reserve her good clothes only for going out and to look shabby and untidy in the house with her husband.

    it is for this reason that Rasulullah ,sallalahu aleihi wasallam ,described a good wife as one who pleases her husband when he looks at her .

    If a wife takes pride in her appearance and beautifies herself ,she will be the most beautiful woman to her husband ...
  13. lostlilly07
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    lostlilly07 striving 4 Firadous

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    wa alaikum salaam

    Jazaka'allah kharian for your efforts. these little post are benefical especially since they are short and stright to the point.
  14. IslamIsLight
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    IslamIsLight Islam is my life Staff Member

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    salam aleikum

    a must read :)

    [img=left]http://pykra-samoyeds.com/animated_roseMA8263477-0011.gif[/img]
    A Formula that will eliminate disputes between couples


    Women should inculcate the quality of thankfulness within themselves so that they could be grateful for everything that their husbands provide.

    Even if their husbands can afford only simple foods,they should regard this as the most exquisite delicacy ,bearing in mind that millions of people do not even have this privilege .

    Unfortunately ,there are many women who are never satisfied with what they get.Whenever they are asked about their clothing,utensils ,food,etc.. they complain that they hardly have anything even though they have these things in excessive quantities.


    A wife should express her gratitude for everything that her husband provides,irrespective of how little it is.When she views everything through the lenses of gratitude .

    she will see only the good in every item and no faults .A person once said that he cried for lack of shoes but when he saw someone without feet ,he thanked Allah for blessing him with feet.

    When a woman expresses her gratitude to her husband and to her in-laws,she will be expressing gratitude to Allah at the same time .

    One should accustom one's tongue to constantly say Alhamudlillah.When looking at every big and small item in the house ,one should say Alhamdulillah .In fact ,even when experiencing difficulty ,one should say Alhamdulillah .For example ,if one has a headache ,one should think Alhamdulillah."At least my arms ,my legs ,my back ,my stomach and the rest of my body is well."


    In this way ,one's difficulties will also be alleviated.Always bear in mind that Allah promises to increase one's bounties when one is grateful .

    May Allah grant us all the ability to be grateful for everything..Ameen

    Rasulullah ,sallalhu aleihi wassalam,once addressed a congregation of ladies and said to them that majority of the inmates of Jahannam (Hell) were women.

    When they enquired about the reason ,he said that this was on account of women being ungrateful to their husbands .

    This Hadith makes it clear that showing ingratitude towards one's husband is a cause of landing a wpman to Jahannam ...

    The wives of Rasulullah ,salalahu aleihi wassalam,are refered to as the mothers of the Mumineen and every Muslim is proud to be known as their children in Islam.

    Despite living lives of poverty and hardship they never complained to Rasulullah ,salalahu aleihi wassalam .

    They neither had good clothing,exquisite jewelry nor delicious food and never demanded these things even when the Muslims began conquering territories and wealth was streaming to Madinah.

    The person who attaches herself to this world is like a foolish traveler who begins to furnish and decorate the waiting room of a platform while waiting for a train arrives and she has to leave the station ,she begins to regret what she did.

    It will then be too late for one to make excuses and to say that one will no longer be extravagant and will no longer incur Allah's wrath by parading the streets in an-Islamic dress.

    When death comes to one ,it will be too late for regrets .Therefore,one should not waste one's precious wealth on new curtains ,expensive furniture and items for one's display units.

    Rather save the money to spend it for the propagation of Deen throughout the world.

    Give the money to your husband so that he can travel to spread Deen and also use it to support a needy relative or someone else who is poor.
    Endeavour to give charity in a manner that the left hand does not know what the right hand gives.

    Ponder awhile about the home of the beloved wife of the most beloved creation ,Rasulullah,sallalahu aleihi wassalam.All that she had in her room was a bed ,a straw mat,bedding ,a pillow stuffed with the bark of a date palm ,one or two utensils to store dates and flour ,a utensil for water and a cup to drink water with .She mentioned that months would go by without a lamp being lit in her room....



    :hearts: :hearts: :hearts:
  15. IslamIsLight
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    IslamIsLight Islam is my life Staff Member

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    salam aleikum
    [img=right]http://www.victoryseeds.com/catalog/flowers/images/flax_blue.jpg[/img]Every woman's wish

    It is the natural desire of every woman to have a husband who does what she wants,who consults her before doing anything and who hands all his money over to her so that she may run the home as she desires.Despite having this desire many women fail to make any efforts to realize this desire .Without having any respect for their husbands ,they become furious about the littlest thing and storm out of the house at the slightest provocation .They are constantly arguing with their husbands about clothing and jewelry and still expect their husbands to do as they say.Not only are such women disrupting the homes of their husbands ,but they are destroying the lives of both their families.


    Learn to Love your Husband


    Every woman should learn to love her husband.irrespective of how evil,ill-mannered or dim-witted her husband may be ,the wife holds in her hand the keys to set her husband straight.There are numerous examples of women who have successfully changed their husbands for the better.there are no obstacles for the patient woman.when a woman sincerely loves and serves her husband ,it is impossible for him to stray away from her.


    Conquer His Heart.

    Your husbands heart will be conquered by the resounding throb of love emanating from the deepest recesses of your heart.Always keep your home clean and ensure that everything of beauty in your home is well arranged .keep your loving gaze fixed on him and always meet him with a smile.Obey whatever he tells you instead of arguing .InshaAllah ,this will ensure a happy marriage.


    Secure Fasten The Bond of Love



    Allah has created the bond of love between people and this bond can only be secured with injunctions of the Shariah..This bond is not loose one and will not break with a slight jostle.When a couple get married ,they have pledged their loyalty to each other and the wife is always in a position to fasten the bond more securely.By doing everything to please him and by sharing his joys and problems ..In this transaction,profits are accrued when evrything is given without taken in return...
  16. IslamIsLight
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    IslamIsLight Islam is my life Staff Member

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    Every woman should think for herself


    [img=left]http://www.myweddingflowerideas.co.uk/wedding_bouquet_2/wedding_flower_bridal_bouquet_roses_5_e.jpg[/img]
    There are many brides who are reluctant to apply their minds and who prefer to behave like children who do only what they are indoctrinated to do and say.You will find that they cannot do anything without first consulting their mothers or friends .As a result of this ,even their marital lives are governed by others.

    Although it is wise to seek advice from one's pious mother ,she may fail to understand the complete situation at home and the temperament of the husband .As a result ,her advice may be detrimental to the couple.

    In addition to this,every husband expects his wife to confidante and close companion without having an intermediary.He cannot tolerate if if even his blood relatives interference in his relationship .It is therefore imperative for a wise wife to tread carefully every step of the way,taking assistance from dua without repeatedly referring to her mother for advice.

    She should use the natural intelligence that Allah has granted her and not become dependent on the advice of others.
  17. amna_muslimaa
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    amna_muslimaa TRUELY MUSLIMAA

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    :salam2:
    Jazakillah sister
    I really like the you teach.....
    May Allah reward you for this (Ameen)
    :wasalam:
  18. muslimahindeen
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    muslimahindeen Junior Member

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    Jazakillahi khayran very beneficial stuff...
  19. ruki4eva
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    ruki4eva Muslim Unity...

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    :salam2:
    jazakallah for ur beneficial posts
    may allah swt reward u will good inshallah
    keep it up!
    take care
    :wasalam:
  20. IslamIsLight
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    IslamIsLight Islam is my life Staff Member

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    salam aleikum
    I borrowed the book now to one of the sisters
    So wont be posintg until I get it back :D

    waaleikum salam

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