Epic fail and total disaster at delivering khutbah, but somehow i feel relieved.

[Rustandi]

Assalamu'alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh


*rant begin*
I just had one of the worst embarrassing experience in my whole life, i just delivered my first khutbah for jum'uah prayer but failed miserably at it, the khutbah is too quick, forgot about lot things that i wanted to say, word stutterings, lots of pause, lots of word correction, in short, a total disaster, but not bad i guess, for an overnight preparation.
*rant end*

But i guess i had it coming, i already prepared for a topic a week ago then had a suddennly change the topic because i remember about the imam's words about choosing an easy topic because the people's level of knowledge and understanding of the deen was still so low, and i thought that the previous topic that i prepared was too heavy for them, that's why i changed it, so in the end i have a premature preparation.

but Alhamdulillah anyways i guess, failure as it may, i feel so relieved that it seems like a mountain was lifted from my chest, and finally i can have some good night sleep.

but still, i need tips and advice from anyone regarding delivering khutbah or public speaking in general to prevent further disaster, because my pride won't stand another embarrassment.. nah, just kidding, more like my cheek actually.

Jazaakumullahu Khayran Katseera.

 

[Asja]

Assalamu allaicum wa rahmatullah wa barakatuhu

Mashallah dear brother. May Allah reward you for your effort and for your success to lead a Khutbah in Masjid.

Alhadmulilah the most importante is faith in Allah, sabr, practise and hard work in everything.

May Allah help you dear brother.Ameen ya Rabb.

 

[thariq2005]

Wa `alaykum salaam wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuh

Nothing to worry about brother. This usually happens in the first khutbah. After a few khutbahs, you will be much more confident inshaa'Allaah.

Do remember that the khutbah is a great responsibility and for some of the people this is their only reminder for the entire week or maybe even months (as some of them don't even pray jumu`ah on a regular basis). So make sure you prepare well, check your sources and authenticity of narrations you quote and stuff. And always remember that your audience is generally mixed of 'practising', 'semi-practising' and 'non-practising' people, so you need make sure the topic appeals to all of them. And don't forget to give them 'practical-steps' for implementing.

Most importantly, don't forget to act upon what you are going to preach :- )

WaffaqakAllaah
Wassalaamu `alaykum

 

[kalamazoo]

Assalamu'alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh


*rant begin*
I just had one of the worst embarrassing experience in my whole life, i just delivered my first khutbah for jum'uah prayer but failed miserably at it, the khutbah is too quick, forgot about lot things that i wanted to say, word stutterings, lots of pause, lots of word correction, in short, a total disaster, but not bad i guess, for an overnight preparation.
*rant end*

But i guess i had it coming, i already prepared for a topic a week ago then had a suddennly change the topic because i remember about the imam's words about choosing an easy topic because the people's level of knowledge and understanding of the deen was still so low, and i thought that the previous topic that i prepared was too heavy for them, that's why i changed it, so in the end i have a premature preparation.

but Alhamdulillah anyways i guess, failure as it may, i feel so relieved that it seems like a mountain was lifted from my chest, and finally i can have some good night sleep.

but still, i need tips and advice from anyone regarding delivering khutbah or public speaking in general to prevent further disaster, because my pride won't stand another embarrassment.. nah, just kidding, more like my cheek actually.

Jazaakumullahu Khayran Katseera.

ASALAAM ALEYKUM

if i may say: bad beginning with Good ending
by the way can you kindly let us READ what you have
Arranged. and the one you have delivered if possible please.

shukran.


~~~~bandung~~~have been there in 1988;
cant remember hotels's name or streets cause we stayed 1 night though we use to visit there twice in a month.

 

[a_stranger]

:salam2:

Everything in our life start small then it grows if we continue. You are know learning something new, experience will make you better. May Allah reward you for all your efforts. AlhamduliAllah you are chosen for such a noble task ....inshaAllah you will spread knoweldge of Islam and teaches people all that make them closer To Allah subhanahu wa taaala, next time it will be easier.

 

[Rustandi]

Wa'alaykumussalaam warahmatullahi wa barakaatuh

Jazaakumullahu khayran everyone, yes indeed the most important thing in delivering khutbah or spreading knowledge of the deen generally whether it is teaching at halaqah or teaching at a class in madrasah is Ikhlash, our sincere intention towards Allah 'azza wa jalla.

An ustadh told me that in order to get rid of stage fright, we have to have clear intentions lillahi ta'ala, if we have that insha Allah He will guide us in what we say to the audience, and have strong memorization, even the ayah or hadith that we thought we forgot about it, it will all come back to us and we will insha Allah have no problem in reciting them and explaining about the meanings of them, and Allah will plant 'izzah (might, honour, dignity, not sure how to translate it) in our hearts that keep us strong to convince people, even we tell them about bitter truths like bid'ah to ignorant people who are still doing them.

But in the end i didn't achieve that ikhlas i guess, my intentions were not sincere enough, i still have some fear of what people will think of me if i say this or that, a subtle desire for fame, etc. Even though my original intention is to deliver the truth, but once you ascend the mimbar for the first in your life and see the faces of people that you know, friends, families, teachers, peoples who hate you, your future father-in-law (nothing like that in my case Alhamdulillah), all different kinds of feelings enters your heart and the battle of intentions begin, in the end it overwhelms me, but as they what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.

So Alhamdulillah i gained so many precious knowledge and experience from it, the sense humiliation (even though it only exist in my mind) is just a small price to pay. Oh well, locking myself at home for a couple of days won't hurt i guess

 

[kalamazoo]

Wa'alaykumussalaam warahmatullahi wa barakaatuh

Jazaakumullahu khayran everyone, yes indeed the most important thing in delivering khutbah or spreading knowledge of the deen generally whether it is teaching at halaqah or teaching at a class in madrasah is Ikhlash, our sincere intention towards Allah 'azza wa jalla.

An ustadh told me that in order to get rid of stage fright, we have to have clear intentions lillahi ta'ala, if we have that insha Allah He will guide us in what we say to the audience, and have strong memorization, even the ayah or hadith that we thought we forgot about it, it will all come back to us and we will insha Allah have no problem in reciting them and explaining about the meanings of them, and Allah will plant 'izzah (might, honour, dignity, not sure how to translate it) in our hearts that keep us strong to convince people, even we tell them about bitter truths like bid'ah to ignorant people who are still doing them.

But in the end i didn't achieve that ikhlas i guess, my intentions were not sincere enough, i still have some fear of what people will think of me if i say this or that, a subtle desire for fame, etc. Even though my original intention is to deliver the truth, but once you ascend the mimbar for the first in your life and see the faces of people that you know, friends, families, teachers, peoples who hate you, your future father-in-law (nothing like that in my case Alhamdulillah), all different kinds of feelings enters your heart and the battle of intentions begin, in the end it overwhelms me, but as they what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.

So Alhamdulillah i gained so many precious knowledge and experience from it, the sense humiliation (even though it only exist in my mind) is just a small price to pay. Oh well, locking myself at home for a couple of days won't hurt i guess

asalaam aleykum,

Where there is a WILL there is a WAy.
( Bi Idhn LLAH)

the 1st from the 2

i think if you first get in front of Yourself big mirror(at any reasonable place)can see yourself clearly or tel taking your videos or camcorder etc; then there practice that to be delivered.)

OR

2nd:
post over here and for sure here it will be your REAL starting point of A...Patience. etc.

 

[Rustandi]

will reply to each post insha Allah..

 

[Itqan Ullah]

Asslamaliekum warahmatullahi wabarakatu,
I too have stagephobia brother.

 

[Tomtom]

As'alaamu Alaikkum

It will get better with practice just like anything else in life. Don't forget that Prophet Musa (pbuh) had speach impediment and his brother Haroon had to speak for him. Just think how lucky you are in not having to face this difficulty.

Also feel privileged that you are asked to speak at the Khutbah because not many people have this privilege. You must have something good going to have been asked to do this, so take heart and you will have plenty of confidence next time Insha'Allah.

 

[Kakorot]

It's like doing a presentation.

Maybe have a friend or someone to inform you how well/poor you done. Then based on their feedback, see what you can improve on.

 

[Ahsen]

Brother,tone your voice.Copy the style of the famous imams.And try to be calm in big gatherings.No ones gonna eat you.

 

[IslamIsSimple]

Salam bro,

Insha'Allah second or third time, you get used to it (if you do it regularly) and talk as if you were talking to one person in front of you.

Just choose topics that are simple for people, and at the same time convery ideas that you normally have in mind so that they come naturally.

You can always have a paper with you, with key points, so that you dont forget them.

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

Brother,

It took me a little while to get used to public speaking. I had a very good professor. She took me aside one day..I used to shake..and she told me...enjoy yourself.

You have prepared your lesson. You have worked hard...the hard stuff is over..now have some fun.

We forget that listening to the words of Allah and how to behave as a Muslim is good for us. It is like medicine. So believe that which you are saying is beneficial. And slow your self down.

Something tells me you will be fine, InshaAllah.

 

[strive-may-i]

Justice to role in hand. Listen to your community

Assalamu'alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh


*rant begin*
I just had one of the worst embarrassing experience in my whole life, i just delivered my first khutbah for jum'uah prayer but failed miserably at it, the khutbah is too quick, forgot about lot things that i wanted to say, word stutterings, lots of pause, lots of word correction, in short, a total disaster, but not bad i guess, for an overnight preparation.
*rant end*

But i guess i had it coming, i already prepared for a topic a week ago then had a suddennly change the topic because i remember about the imam's words about choosing an easy topic because the people's level of knowledge and understanding of the deen was still so low, and i thought that the previous topic that i prepared was too heavy for them, that's why i changed it, so in the end i have a premature preparation.

but Alhamdulillah anyways i guess, failure as it may, i feel so relieved that it seems like a mountain was lifted from my chest, and finally i can have some good night sleep.

but still, i need tips and advice from anyone regarding delivering khutbah or public speaking in general to prevent further disaster, because my pride won't stand another embarrassment.. nah, just kidding, more like my cheek actually.

Jazaakumullahu Khayran Katseera.

:salam2:

Like they nowadays say with great power comes great responsibility.

Now if you are a natural oral speaker, and if this is your first Kutbah, then you can rub this aside as the first time glitch. I have seen many Local Imaam's who stutter the first day, and spring back to their speaking best the next week. It might have been the weight of the role, that might have scared you. Now thats a good thing. If one believes one is Slave of Almighty and fears doing injustice to the role on is in, there is a good possibility that only good will come out. Its important for Imaam, to be a good leader, not just a good speaker. We like such Imaam's

Incase you have stage fear, focus on job in hand, focus on doing justice to the topic in hand, that always has given me the confidence in public forums [read school, college, madrasa, work] . Dont look into the eyes of the audience to begin with, this tip worked for my friends, it might work for you too. But for an Imaam, its effective when they can look into the audience, and spot the attentive from not attentive ones. The attentive ones give live feedback. I think an Imaam needs such social skills also .

Agreed Imaams duty is much more demanding, because its matter of Imaan! Go back to your teacher and tell them your experience, they might assist you better I feel. And , listen to the community you gave the Friday sermon, they can tell you better, because we never saw you in action. They will also tell you what they want to hear, incase you have not yet had the opportunity to assess what your local community needs!

Hope all this helps.

May Almighty Allah Grant you and the community you lead greater strength, in matters related to deen... Ameen

 

[Rustandi]

Wa'alaykumussalaam wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuhu..

Most importantly, don't forget to act upon what you are going to preach :- )

This.

if i may say: bad beginning with Good ending

Insha Allah brother..

by the way can you kindly let us READ what you have
Arranged. and the one you have delivered if possible please.

Sorry brother, i can't do that. It brings back bad memories let's just the first khutbah is about tawakkal and the second one is just short warning for people not to celebrate New Year using the hadith:

(( لتتبعن
سنن من كان قبلكم شبرا شبرا وذراعا بذراع حتى لو دخلوا جحر ضب تبعتموهم .
قلنا يا رسول الله اليهود والنصارى؟ قال: فمن ؟!! ))
​

“You will follow the ways of the people who came before you (exactly), so that were they to enter a lizard’s hole, you too would enter it.” We (the Sahabah) asked: “O Messenger of Allah! Is it the Jews and Christians?” He (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: “Who else?”

~~~~bandung~~~have been there in 1988;
cant remember hotels's name or streets cause we stayed 1 night though we use to visit there twice in a month.

No waay.. that's the year i was born... in that year this city must've been calm, quiet, and more beautiful than the way it is now, this place used to be called the city of flowers for the real flowers, now they call it the city of "flowers", meaning Sundanese women.

quote from wikipedia.

"Tomé Pires mentioned: "The (Sundanese) women are handsome, and those of the nobles chaste, which is not the case with those of the lower classes". Sundanese women are — in estimation of Indonesians — the most beautiful in the land. In Indonesian popular beliefs, it is because of the climate, they have lighter complexion than other Indonesians, and because the Sundanese diet features raw vegetables, they reputedly possess especially soft skin. Bandung ladies, popularly known as Mojang Priangan are reputedly pretty, fashion smart and forward looking.[5] [ Java, West Java, page 128]</ref> Probably because of this, many Sundanese people today pursue careers in the Indonesian entertainment industry."

It used to be called Parijs van Java, now it becomes Paris van Java, Indonesia's fashion center, center of culinary delights, entertainment center, etc. so yeah not exactly fitting for a student of knowledge, but still.. this is my hometown so i still love it.

i think if you first get in front of Yourself big mirror(at any reasonable place)can see yourself clearly

Same advice that my sister gave me.. good one

or tel taking your videos or camcorder etc; then there practice that to be delivered

right, for a shy person like me, its more embarrassing to see yourself in a video doing or saying about something than see yourself in the mirror.. great idea.

Everything in our life start small then it grows if we continue. You are know learning something new, experience will make you better.

Yes alhamdulillah, i thought so as well, i definitely gained precious experience from it.

May Allah reward you for all your efforts. AlhamduliAllah you are chosen for such a noble task ....inshaAllah you will spread knoweldge of Islam and teaches people all that make them closer To Allah subhanahu wa taaala, next time it will be easier.

Ameen.. sister, and may Allah reward you too.

 

[Rustandi]

It's like doing a presentation.

Maybe have a friend or someone to inform you how well/poor you done. Then based on their feedback, see what you can improve on.

For me its not the same as a common gathering sister, jum'ah prayer feels.. sacred, because it is. That's why there's an increased pressure i guess.. because its my first fime.

It will get better with practice just like anything else in life. Don't forget that Prophet Musa (pbuh) had speach impediment and his brother Haroon had to speak for him. Just think how lucky you are in not having to face this difficulty.

Also feel privileged that you are asked to speak at the Khutbah because not many people have this privilege. You must have something good going to have been asked to do this, so take heart and you will have plenty of confidence next time Insha'Allah.

اللهم لا توئاخذنا بما يقولون، واجعلنا خيرا مما يظنون..​

I hope you're right brother, thanks for the encouragement

will continue my reply to the others later insha Allah..

 

[alf2]

MASHA ALLAH for you brother. Please insha allah do not be embarrassed, it was your first and of course practice makes perfect. Subhan allah, with more you will feel even more encouraged because you will get better at public speaking and such. Its not an easy thing to do for everyone without practice and training.

 

[kayleigh]

I laughed. Sorry.

Uhhh public speaking terrifies me but now I'm moderately okay at it after taking a speech class. I think the hardest part is not speaking really fast when you're nervous. Speech teachers always try to give you tips and tricks, like take deep breaths (it does help) and do something relaxing before you speak, but honestly I think the only way to get comfortable and semi-good at it is to just do it a lot.

Maybe try to give short lessons or speeches in halaqas or in class or something to get more comfortable before doing something in front of a bigger crowd again?

 

[Rustandi]

Brother,tone your voice.Copy the style of the famous imams.And try to be calm in big gatherings.No ones gonna eat you.

I appreciate the advice, but i prefer to keep it simple, just be myself, and strive to be the best of me.

Like they nowadays say with great power comes great responsibility.

Thanks uncle Ben, i'll be sure to keep that in mind

Now if you are a natural oral speaker, and if this is your first Kutbah, then you can rub this aside as the first time glitch. I have seen many Local Imaam's who stutter the first day, and spring back to their speaking best the next week. It might have been the weight of the role, that might have scared you. Now thats a good thing. If one believes one is Slave of Almighty and fears doing injustice to the role on is in, there is a good possibility that only good will come out. Its important for Imaam, to be a good leader, not just a good speaker. We like such Imaam's

Incase you have stage fear, focus on job in hand, focus on doing justice to the topic in hand, that always has given me the confidence in public forums [read school, college, madrasa, work] . Dont look into the eyes of the audience to begin with, this tip worked for my friends, it might work for you too. But for an Imaam, its effective when they can look into the audience, and spot the attentive from not attentive ones. The attentive ones give live feedback. I think an Imaam needs such social skills also .

Agreed Imaams duty is much more demanding, because its matter of Imaan! Go back to your teacher and tell them your experience, they might assist you better I feel. And , listen to the community you gave the Friday sermon, they can tell you better, because we never saw you in action. They will also tell you what they want to hear, incase you have not yet had the opportunity to assess what your local community needs!

Hope all this helps.

May Almighty Allah Grant you and the community you lead greater strength, in matters related to deen... Ameen

I'm not a natural speaker, i'm more of an introvert who have a stage fright, who's break out of my shell..

Your advices helps a lot insya Allah, i'm giving special attention to the bolded ones.

Ameen brother, Jazaakallahu khayran wa waffaqakum lima yuhibbuhu wa yardaah..

Speech teachers always try to give you tips and tricks, like take deep breaths (it does help)

Yes it does help.. to make it worst lol

No seriously, i tried that but the only thing it did was just increase my heart rate, which makes me more nervous (or maybe i'm just doing it wrong)

Maybe try to give short lessons or speeches in halaqas or in class or something to get more comfortable before doing something in front of a bigger crowd again?

I originally intended to do those first, i even ask the Imaam for his permission to allow me to give lessons in aqeedah or fiqh in weekly halaaqa, along with a friend of mine and he gave a green light, but before the program starts, one day, he suddenly told me to deliver khutbah for the friday prayer. And i can't refuse.

bro,

Insha'Allah second or third time, you get used to it (if you do it regularly) and talk as if you were talking to one person in front of you.

MASHA ALLAH for you brother. Please insha allah do not be embarrassed, it was your first and of course practice makes perfect. Subhan allah, with more you will feel even more encouraged because you will get better at public speaking and such. Its not an easy thing to do for everyone without practice and training.

I laughed. Sorry.

Uhhh public speaking terrifies me but now I'm moderately okay at it after taking a speech class. I think the hardest part is not speaking really fast when you're nervous. Speech teachers always try to give you tips and tricks, like take deep breaths (it does help) and do something relaxing before you speak, but honestly I think the only way to get comfortable and semi-good at it is to just do it a lot.

In the end, i think the simplest way, is the best way, and that is to continuous ly do this and endure my own shortcomings until i became good at it..

Brother,

It took me a little while to get used to public speaking. I had a very good professor. She took me aside one day..I used to shake..and she told me...enjoy yourself.

You have prepared your lesson. You have worked hard...the hard stuff is over..now have some fun.

We forget that listening to the words of Allah and how to behave as a Muslim is good for us. It is like medicine. So believe that which you are saying is beneficial. And slow your self down.

Something tells me you will be fine, InshaAllah.

You're right Aapa, i worked hard even with my limited resources and knowledge, while in the end, i still failed at it, but i found satisfaction in failures when i did my best to prepare for it..

Whew.. another job badly done if i do say so myself, now i'm going slow down and have some fun and enjoy this hot chocolate milk

Thanks everyone once again, for all the feedbacks and Jazaakumullahu khayran katheera.