Getting weak in Islam, I need to get back on the right path!!

[Casandra]

Asslamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullah,

I hope this message finds you all in happiness and good health.

I have always been hesitant to post on forums, for the sake of doubting that it will help at all. And even now, as I am writing this message, I am wondering why... Well, I think I know why...I think it is because I am desperate. I am a proud Muslima, I wear my faith and Hijab with pride, but a year ago, everything changed. A year ago, I had left my family to study, and pretty much went through a 180 degree change. Needless to say, I fell into a grave depression, which I am still in. Now, I have no motivation to live, study, practice my faith. I constantly wish my life would end, and have horrible thoughts that any good muslim would/should not have. I also developed an eating disorder, which is something else I am dealing with. I have made a few baby steps for improvement... I have acknowledged that I have a problem, and that I need professional medical help, and I have also moved back with my family, for the sake of getting better as well. I know that all the answers are in my faith (Islam). I know that the Quran has all the answers to every problem. But I can't convince myself of that enough to practice it. I have not fasted Ramadan this past month, and have not been consistent with my prayers. And what I hate the most, is that I don't feel bad about it. I feel so much anger instead, and I shouldn't. I will admit that I have not done my share of learning about my faith. Everything I know now is from what has been taught to me. But I used to be full of life and preach my faith to every single person I knew. I used to be strict about praying on time, and being the best muslim I could be; But now, I just don't care. What does a muslim do when they are depressed with life? Why do I not care, but still cry when I remember I did not pray? What do i do?

Ok, so I know that anybody who reads this will say: "Dude, she is depressed"...I know i am. I want to be happy again, and I am turning to Islam to do it. I just need the right tools, and the right motivation from others. I need to surround myself with good instead of bad. If I could have an Islamic tutor, just to teach me everything about Islam, I would hire him/her today. If anyone of you all reading this is willing, for the sake of Allah, to be an online constant tutor, nothing would make me happier. I need to be lectured to, that is the only way I learn. I have tried reading for myself, and listening to Khutba's and Imam's speak, and I lose interest; Because I feel that they cover the same topic each time, and it becomes boring and repetitive. I want to ask a question, and get an answer right away.

Well, I guess I will stop for now. I hope to hear responses from you guys soon.

May Allah bless you.
Cas

 

[island muslim]

Salaam Alaiykum,

For me knowing that this life is not forever and that hellfire is something I would want to avoid so desperately and helps me a lot.

Once you start neglecting prayers and fasting you are no longer muslim for your information.

Make Tawbah and come back to the deen of allah is my advise.

May allah help you and guide you ameen

 

[Zafran]

salaam

Have you read the english translation of the Quran - that helped me understand the religion better.

 

[justoneofmillion]

:salam2:I do watch these videos sometimes when i feel a little weaker ,it is just a matter of connection and knowledge in my mind hope they help a bit to put things into the right perspective.altough the Quran when read with understanding and reflection abo0ut the world surrounding us is the best prevention against such states of mind.
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‘Allah is the light of the heavens and the earth. The similitude of His light is a niche in which there is a lamp. The lamp is in a Glass, the Glass, like a glistening star, kindled from a blessed olive tree, neither of the east nor of the west, whose oil well nigh glows though no fire has touched it: light upon light. Allah guides to His light whom He wills, and Allah strikes parables for human beings, and Allah knows all things.’ [Qur’an 24:35]

May Allah swt guide us all

wassalaam
jameel

 

[Mustaqim87]

Salamualaikum

I am Muhammad Mustaqim Mabvudza Bin Abdullah

i am willing to share wisdom with you for as long as you need ALLAH willing ofcourse. i believe i can show you much over time. and you show me too.

You have the right intentions. Let me advise your way of thought, dnt think about what you dont want, think about what you want(GOOD things, happiness, peace, paradise, obediance to ALLAH, Pleasing ALLAH), coz u will notice that u live what you think about the most.

for example: the same way that if you walk through fresh grass, the path you take becomes easier to fall into, so if you think about being late, ur mind creates a path of possible activities that lead you to being late, which makes it easier for u to do those things that make you late.

but if u think of a good thing, your mind things of good things to get that target. the path becomes one of good things, and the more good things you do, the better you feel, and then you can do more and more and more good things. the best target is Paradise, base each decision every second on what you believe is most pleasing to ALLAH. be honest when deciding, coz you can lie to people but to urself you must be true.

Remember God set rules for your benefit. Satan makes the distractions that make you misrable. God is in no need for you to follow rules, but you are in need to follow his rules. e.g the Salat is scientifically proven to have multiple positive effects on peoples way of thinking, and blood flow, even to the brain! and ablutions keep you clean. and fasting cleans out your system and teaches you to control yourself. all these are in place for us to profit in spirit and truth.

In the hardest situations, remember that there is no other way that thing could have happened, and that you were born with nothing, and will return to Him with nothing. to Him is the final return, where final peace can be achieved as a reward for obediance and gratefulness

Jazak Allahu Khayr

 

[Amir_of_spain]

But now, I just don't care. What does a muslim do when they are depressed with life?

Asalam wailkium sister.

I will attempt to give you my advice in 2 steps by first dealing with a) your state of depression and b) your 'i don't care' atitude. So here i go....

People in life become depressed because they are not happy, and this can be due to many reasons e.g. family,social, financial, marital and spiritual factors. In this state i believe the soul feels a void and it wants you to do something about it so that you can feel alright and go back to feeling happy. Now this is the crossroads at which people become faced with and its at this stage where things can go good or simply become worser.

People end up following one of 2 things, 1) their minds; which tries to explain the situation and therefore the action needed to solve the crisis eg if im not happy with my husband i need to either sit down and work things through or sign for divorce. The 2nd option is the nafs, our feelings and emotions; and they don't follow logic and would rather us go for the quick fix eg my husband is the enemy, nothing can be done so i'll just avoid him, hang with friends/maybe even find someone else.

Now in your situation, from what i have read and understood it seems like your mind is following your soul, encouraging you to deal with your depression and lack of spiritual activity by getting back in focus with Islam/Allah/religion. However this requires effort and change, which you may not have the energy to do so, so thus your nafs (internal raw emotional feelings/desires) is telling you just forget it, leave it, there is no point/hope, and in fact its hopeless so why bother trying; thus i believe this explains your 'i don't care' side. So can you see there is a conflict within yourself, you know you need to back on salah and fast because this is what you have been created for, this is our function of life to worship god, this is your mind reasoning the situation out. However the nafs/raw emotions is more overwhelming and its telling you just give it up, theres no point, and because there is no resolving or reconcilation of both views , thus your just depressed as a result of it.

I think in such a situation i think you need to simply evaluate your goals/objectives in life and then stick to them and try your upmost best to achieve them. The first thing i suggest you do is be more serious with yourself, why? Simply because you wana be move on with your life. So first sort out your objectives and the 1st overall objective of any human should be to enter jannah, meet allah in good terms, make him pleased with us. The only way this is going to be done is through actions ie good deeds. So naturally i gotta fast and perform my salat because if i die tommorow at least i got some evidence to show allah. So force yourself to do these deeds, even if you don't do them properly or if they are incomplete, dont stop, keep on going. The temporary objective is common to everyone ie i want to finish my studies, get a good job, marry, have good relationships, look after my parents etc. So you got to do these things in order right, so from now on just use your time and energy to strive for each of them.

Finally to achieve these goals/objectives you need to push yourself, this means you got to change your atitude and force it to be positive. This is where the quran, prophets, sahabah come into action, when you read these religious sources you see examples of people trying their upmost best to do the things allah and his messenger asked them to. So your atitude should be like them, i will try my best no matter what happens, keep on striving until death. If you dont remember the bigger picture of life, of reality, ie that what we are facing is trials and that our actions do really have a lasting effect (ie day of judgement) then what happen is we start to forget and focus only on the here and now. The atitude also follows suit and you just don't care anymore about jannah, or fasting or pretty much anything else. Hence what are you living for? Nothing really, just waiting for death right? So thus depression kicks in.

So finally i will say to anyone who is depressed or losing their way, just remember the final destination, in this life and hereafter, in this life we want to live in peace and be happy with our families and lifestyle and in hereafter the objective is to pass into jannah. So these are the main things which we should be trying to strive for on a daily basis, anything else is just distraction and time wasting. So we don't have the luxury of being depressed when work has to be done. Ok i think i've rambled on enough. I hope this advice of mine helps to some extent, otherwise may peace be with you.

AmIR

 

[xmajor]

Asalam wa elikum Sister,


recit astagfirullah,tauba and ask Gauidence to Allah alot every where any where ... i think it will help u alot.

astagfirullah hil azimallah zi wa atobbo allahe.

may God have mercy upon u and grant u peace of heart, mind and soul.

 

[nur azmey]

To my ikhwat Casandra

That's good.

This what Nabi SAW says - to know you have iman, when you do bad things you feel guilty, and when you d good things you feel so happy.

Another sign of iman as explained by Nabi SAW, you will always be disturbed with was-was, and you keep denying it and not happy with that was-was and you commit yourself to God only.

Thus this is what you need in your life. A break away. Sometimes God let us committing sins just because to let us how great is our religion and Iman when we are not having it.

:ma: You are so lucky because you have seen both world. The white side and the dark side. This is the truth of our relegion that you are going trough now where you start to learn that it is not easy to get Jannah but it is easy to go to hell. If this religion is not true, why we are so easy to commit sins and go against all good things taught by our religion.

That is why those people who commit sins and repents are much better than those who ( are thinking they are not) because they really appreciate the hidayah where the coming back gives all the calm and confomtability which has lost for years.

I have left prayers for many years, gambling and did many kind of syirik things but when the God bring me back (since I always asked God what will happen to me when I see Him in Akhirat with all the sins I committed).

Now I feel enjoy praying, and do many things good for me or other people because I know what was it look like when I have nothing.

But do not delay yourself for getting back the right track. Otherwise it will be too late.

For the sharing, appreciate the meaning of these following ayat. Hope it will help, as follows:

:tti_sister: "Say: "O my Servants who have transgressed against their souls! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah. for Allah forgives all sins: for He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. (Az Zumar: 53)

:tti_sister: "Certainly no one despairs of Allahs Mercy, except the people who disbelieve (Yusuf:87)

:tti_sister: "Ibrahim (Abraham)) said: "And who despairs of the Mercy of his Lord except those who are astray?" (Al Hijri : 56)

:tti_sister: And worship your Lord until there comes unto you the certainty (i.e. death). (Al Hijri : 99)

:tti_sister:say (O Muhammad SAW): "Allah is sufficient for me. La ilaha illa Huwa (none has the right to be worshipped but He), in Him I put my trust and He is the Lord of the Mighty Throne." Taubah: 129