Do not generalize Muslims, first of all what is your question?
It's hard not to generalize when every single Muslim I've met online has either shunned me or banned me from forums or whatever. It's ridiculous.
I am wondering what the question was ? They do not delete questions at all if those are genuine questions with the sincer intention of seeking truth.
My question was pretty much this (
keep in mind that if I say Allah "seemed" this or "seemed" that it's not intended to be hostile)
Sometimes I shrug and I'm content with the idea that the whole world is just one big absurd part of a crazy universe, but other times I get so muddled and frustrated that I don't know how this whole story started that I collapse into a big mess. I mean, where did matter and existence come from? non-existence can't exist, and space is expanding but what what is it expanding into? I'm not a very smart person, I mean, I'm the guy who "finally gets" a joke, half an hour later, but it just all seems so crazy. I've read the Tanakh and the "New Testament" and maybe it's just me but God seems so anthropomorphic and bordering on schizophrenia sometimes.
I'm reading the Qur'an at the moment as well, so many people hold this book to be God's word, and so many people are converting to Islam claiming that they found truth in this book but I just don't get it, I want to get it but I don't. I mean, at least the Bible was a coherent story, God might have been a bit of a tyrant here and there but this book is all over the place, before He was all smitin' and threatenin' but now it's all threatenin'- "Allah is awesome and you are scum, oh by the way, Allah will flick matches at you if you don't agree that anal sex is endorsed by this shaytan character (which by the way never appeared in the Tanakh and I think was probably a Christian creation), and don't you dare even think of questioning it you curious little kafir you" seems to sum up the first 70 odd pages. And why would God create people so they can throw themselves at him? Does he have some kind of authority complex? Don't get me wrong, I want to get it, I really do, I want to understand and feel this same revelation as all these other people in the world, I want to know that existence doesn't just exist, it had a beginning and a purpose. But at the moment I just don't.
And please don't tell me that you can't really "translate Allah's word" because that's absurd, if God required me to spend years learning a language just so I can learn that I have to throw myself at him to end up not burning for eternity, he would not be God. I don't know God, but if he is truly God he would not be culturally biased like this.
Please just help me understand the Qur'an.