How should I act?

[hussain.mahammed]

As salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wabrakatuhu dear brother
I have been going through this thread but relucted to comment until now. Just pray to Allah Subhanahu wa Taala, and make duas as much as you can. Nobody else can guide except Allah guides you dear brother. Just one advice from this sincere brother, dont be shy, although dont talk freely with her too. Best action is ofcourse Salatul Istikhara and talking to any of her relatives, whether brother or anyone. (ofcourse as I see you dont have the guts to talk to her father...lol...just pulling your leg)
If you know any elder sister, you can tell about her. May be then she can proceed in talking more with this muslim sister.
We are keeping you in our duas. Insha Allah may Allah give you of what is best for you.
Wa/salam
your brother

 

[hussain.mahammed]

One thing i liked that you are so shy..thats sooooooo good :mashallah:
But I am more shy than you.
Just work for your success
May Allah bless you brother

 

[Mrmuslim]

salaam alikom

Well I have a suggestion for you, ofcourse after make istikharah and see how you feel talk to your family first your mother or sister, and I am sure you can get her work phone number, give it to your sister or mother and asked them to call her and talk to her and ask her without mentioning you, so they know that she is not engaged or married, and being in UAE, I think its better if it comes through your family.

then the next step will come, still through your family, by asking her permission to talk to her family and they can tell her who you are ...and Inshallah it works out...

Inshallah it will work out, since it will be coming fom your family and she wont misunderstand you...

Wa Allah A3lem

Wa salaam alikom

 

[proud2bemuslim]

One thing i liked that you are so shy..thats sooooooo good :mashallah:
But I am more shy than you.
Just work for your success
May Allah bless you brother

i love what you said brother hussain..."just work for your success"...LOL

i like this thread. my advice Raed is the same as the above by MrMuslim

Insha'Allah you will marry her.

 

[Daud McGuire]

salam

why not just talk to her and say in public<--(for all the pen pushers, lol). "salam alaikum sister what mosque do u go? oh really, oh so do u live near there? oh ok, cool. i know someone who lives there(blatent lie, the lie is an option, lol), do u live there with ur parents or husband, oh really ur single. ok, i will catch u around. whats ur name for the record." Then walk away, any more time with her and the hayball will roll across the room with a gushing wind.

already u know what mosque she goes.

were she lives

if she is eligible

and who she lives with

thats enough info. DONT FORGET HER NAME. Go to her mosque and ask the imaam about her, from then on its plain sailing halaal style.

May Allah(swt) guide you my brother, i hope u will be happy

 

[dna1987]

why not just talk to her and say in public<--(for all the pen pushers, lol). "salam alaikum sister what mosque do u go? oh really, oh so do u live near there? oh ok, cool. i know someone who lives there(blatent lie, the lie is an option, lol), do u live there with ur parents or husband, oh really ur single. ok, i will catch u around. whats ur name for the record." Then walk away, any more time with her and the hayball will roll across the room with a gushing wind.

already u know what mosque she goes.

were she lives

if she is eligible

and who she lives with

thats enough info. DONT FORGET HER NAME. Go to her mosque and ask the imaam about her, from then on its plain sailing halaal style.

May Allah(swt) guide you my brother, i hope u will be happy

I hope everyone else is taking down notes too. I did

 

[Raed]

Salam Aikum Brothers and sisters...
Just an update,
I talked to the sister today,
I made alot dua to make this easy to me, and today morning the concidance of me and her reached the office door at the same time so she opened and say plz go in, i said (right first) lol
anyway i talked to her and i was sweating like hell....
I told her how did find work, and whats ur name.. and basic stuff like that, I hope i did the right thing because her reponse was so friendly and in very nice way... now i dont know whats the next step , should i jump to my mother and tell her that i wana marry..?

 

[Mohsin]

asslamu-alaikum

:salam2:

Dear bro, congrats for yr daring. Who dares wins. ......... really happy to know that u took the first step. Have u not yet talked to your family about it ? ......... hope Allah SWT will make it easier from here, inshaAllah. Keep asking Allah SWT for guidence and keep praying your Istikhara prayers. I wish you all the very best. May Allah SWT be with you always.
Ma'assalaam

 

[Raed]

I would like all brothers and sisters who made dua for me....
I will make dua for this muslim Ummah in all prayers

 

[bayareabilal]

Dear Raed

I dont know much....but I do know that you must find out if she is already engaged, married or single. After you get that piece of handy information keep your eyes on the prize and pray to Allah subhan o talla.
I have an idea too by the way. Why dont you ask the fair lady to join you for a cup of coffee/tea sometime with her brother or if she would like to eat lunch with you that particular day? Her answer will give you many ideas as to how you should take the next step...oh and by the way I strongly advise you not to sneak behind her as she goes home to see where she lives. Step up and ask to spend some time with her over a cup of tea or whatever with her brother or something. Sorry about your sweating but inshallah it will get easier for you my brother. Lastly, if you ask her to spend ANY amount of time with you she will know automatically that you are interested in her...so be wise in how you ask because no matter how/what you say to her she will immediately know your intentions. Hahahaha, this is great brother, I wish you the best and hope you enjoy your rapidly beating heart when you approach her (and always remember SHE IS FEELING THE SAME AS YOU!!!)

 

[hussain.mahammed]

As salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wabrakatuhu brother Raied
Masha Allah...that was really cute. Atleast you gained guts..Allahu Akbar.
Dont panic too much. Insha Allah things will go well.
Atleast talk to your mother.
but about the next step, I am confused too coz never been in such a situation.
May Allah make things easier for you, and give what is best for you.
I hope brothers and sisters will advise you, insha Allah.
wa/salam
:holaaa:

 

[Amirah84]

:salam2:

I don't really know how to advice you regarding this. Chatting freely to the sister is not permissable in Islam and so I would advice you not to try to engage in any type of friendly meeting or being alone with the sister.

Why don't you tell your mother? InshaAllah she can advice you aswell. She might know someone who happens to know the sister. Or you can ask her straight off: "Sister are you married?" (hopefully no.) Then say "Would it be possible to obtain the number to your mahram?" If she says yes...great contact her mahram. If she says no, then leave it. If the sister is a good sister she will understand why you'd want to contact her mahram and this way you're going about it in the islamic way and she should be happy you have shown such great respect for her and that you are a goo brother.

The sister won't be offended. She might say no for various reasons, but I don't think a sister would be offended. On the other hand, the sister may become very offended if you ask her out for a coffee. We don't date, we get down to business and that's whether or not you'd be compatible for marriage. And also talking to her mahram means that you're finding out about the sister in the proper way, you may not suit at all and that's ok.

If she is offended then you're not on the same level...then just leave it. At least she knows you where approaching her in the right way.

My friend told me about her friend that she personally know. There was a brother who approached the sister one day and he had never met her before , this being on the tube in London, and asked her straight up " Sister are you married?" She said no. "Could I have the number to your mahram?" She said "yes you may" , gave him the number and left it at that. They're now married.
A brother that asks for your mahrams number is being serious and what's better than that.

Take care,

Sister Amirah

 

[Raed]

Some updates

:salam2:

Well brothers and sisters, I talked to the girl again this morning... I asked her if she married or not, she said no.... it was really hard to ask, then we talked about work for few minutes... now , whats the next step? should i talk with my family or just ask her for a number of her mahram, or should i ask her if she agree to marry me? or just wait? plz help ... I really kinda stuck.. I know that i have to make alot of dua to allah and pray istikharah, but also i think this forum is the only place to find such a helpful muslims....

Jazakum allah khyran

 

[alkathiri]

:salam2:

but also i think this forum is the only place to find such a helpful muslims....

Jazakum allah khyran

Assalamualaikum warahmatullah

Why dont u ask ur mom and dad for help? They can help u, Im sure.. They are more experience. They have been through teenage times...

 

[Happy 2BA Muslim]

:salam2:

Well brothers and sisters, I talked to the girl again this morning... I asked her if she married or not, she said no.... it was really hard to ask, then we talked about work for few minutes... now , whats the next step? should i talk with my family or just ask her for a number of her mahram, or should i ask her if she agree to marry me? or just wait? plz help ... I really kinda stuck.. I know that i have to make alot of dua to allah and pray istikharah, but also i think this forum is the only place to find such a helpful muslims....

Jazakum allah khyran

Sister Amirah84 gave excellent advice. Ask her for the number of her mahram if you are really committed. But before doing that, did you ask people about her (religion, manners, behavior, etc)? Sorry if that was mentioned before.

May Allah grant you what is best.

 

[Raed]

Assalamualaikum warahmatullah

Why dont u ask ur mom and dad for help? They can help u, Im sure.. They are more experience. They have been through teenage times...

Alikum al slam brother.... jazak allah khyran,
But im not a teenage

 

[justoneofmillion]

just give her the TTiadress we will make it work for you! just kidding remember to be respectful and kind man i don`t know what to tell you these sisters are very precious they are different
i`m not used to that! invite her and her familly for dinner at your parents so that they can meet and learn to know each other! try to get your sister to become her friend or so!!!!!now am not an expert or a scholar but think there is nothing wrong if you adresse her with proper manners and behaviour may Allah swt make it easy for you inshallah.

 

[alkathiri]

Alikum al slam brother.... jazak allah khyran,
But im not a teenage

Well, a young adult..would be suitable...i guess. What does ur mum say about this..Arab families might be a bit open on this...

 

[alkathiri]

:salam2:

u like her but whats holding u back. Get ur parents to talk to her...or her family not u start a conversation with her. Remember each passing time u delay, she might like someone else..If u remeber her too much , how to be khusoo' in prayer..in zikrullah...

Get moving...Let 2moro be the day the marriage is confirmed. InshAllah..:angryred:

 

[Raed]

:salam2:

u like her but whats holding u back. Get ur parents to talk to her...or her family not u start a conversation with her. Remember each passing time u delay, she might like someone else..If u remeber her too much , how to be khusoo' in prayer..in zikrullah...

Get moving...Let 2moro be the day the marriage is confirmed. InshAllah..:angryred:

Brother... I know that, but im afraid not all people the same, she may dont like it this way, i mean to rush into marrige like that... yes i will do that so as soon as possible... but to be honest with u, if i tell my family abt her, they will start to ask me so many questions abt her, and if i didnt give them enough information they wont do anything, here in UAE the parents always afraid of marrige other than arranged one.... they will thought like that: maybe her parents arent good, maybe they are so rich , maybe they are shia, maybe they are........ u know what i mean brother? i just need to confirm few information just to convince my parents... i know its really hard here, they always prefer arranged marriage, even i asked my parents for arrange one before , but they didnt even try to find for me anyone... may allah help me ....