I think i have problem with myself, please help!

[Everlasting Ligh]

I think I have a problem, a sick feeling in my self and I don’t really know how to start but let me try. Ever since I know what is the proper dress code of a muslimah, I have been trying to change and it cost me a lot coz I have so much of cloths that I cant wear anymore in my closet. I am trying so hard and sometimes I kind of hate my life coz I have no cloths to wear to go out to meet friends like I used to. I have budget to take care of and because I am trying so hard to change sometimes my husband teased me that I look like a person going to the garden. L Because I am trying to mix and match to cover myself.

Everytime when I go out, I will never wear a short sleeve shirt or short pants or without my scaft coz I know that is not covering my aurat. My questions now is why I…… have to cover myself because I am trying to obey my God and because I want Him to love me and yet I see born muslims don’t cover themselves? They dress like a kafir, like I used to wear before. For me to go back to what I used to wear before will be a NO NO for me coz I feel people is looking at my arms and legs.

Don’t they know or don’t they care?

Please tell me how to stop looking at other people and concentrate on myself only?

 

[Almeftah]

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

not sure if this will work for you but..

many people try to make a long time saving in order to buy many things at once..

try buying 1 thing at a time..

example: I get payed every month.. and every month or every other month i get myself a t-shirt, a pair of jeans, shorts or underwear ..etc.

that way, i dont have to save much for cloths.. and i'll be able to donate some each year or 2.

try it.. hope it works for you.

 

[Nurain]

Sister,

When all else in this world has perished, it is only between YOU and ALLAH. I don't even need to quote verses here, there are many in the Qur'an. The things that we do is only for Allah's pleasure. No one else, absolutely. Islam is the only religion whereby we have utmost direct contact with the Lord, do you not feel pleased with this?

Born Muslims are a different matter. They may be cultural muslims - doing what their parents do but not having understanding of it. Perhaps somewhere down the road Allaah will give them guidance and it is up to them to embrace it or not.

You have been given guidance. You are special. I think you are a revert, ma sha Allaah Allaah must really love you. Don't you love Him enough to please Him too? This world is just temporary. So be it what others call you.

They will always mock. But their mockery and chide can never distant us from our Lord. In fact, those who mock will have their faces black on the Day of Resurrection, when we who have strived for Allaah would be the triumphant ones in sha Allaah.
---------------------------------------

p/s about your clothes sister, such a small matter. So did I have many clothes which do not cover the aurat, and I believe many of us here. I can just wear these at home or use it as a rag So be it if you have to wear the same clothes twice thrice in a week! What should be more of priority is our cleanliness, purity and modesty as a muslimah. Alright sis *hugs*

 

[palestine]

Walaykum wasalam wrwb. i'm a muslim sister, and i too have seen those "muslims" you speak of. Whether they claim they are muslim or not, it's an INDIVIDUAL choice they make. they know what is right and they know what is wrong- however some of them choose not to wear the islamic dress code. they are selective. the choices they make are their own. you do not need to concentrate on THEM, you need to concentrate on YOU. you do not have to feel like you are going to the garden or such...you do not have to throw out your clothes from before. If your new dress code is wearing skirts and long dresses, then wear the pants under neath it. just because you have to dress islamically does not mean that you have to throw out your old shirts and jeans, you can still wear them in your home or underneath your outer garments. your husband is just teasing..you may feel uncomfortable for a while, but you will come to passt hat stage. just try and recognize the beauty of being a muslimah, the beauty of covering up, the beauty behind the hijab. many times in my life, i felt that i looked like an old baggy lady because i was told that i did. to this day, i do get jealous sometimes of other girls especially when they make remarks like these at me. and being a high school student, it's not easy dealing with 40-50 muslims a day who laugh and joke about the way you dress. however, i usually ask myself "do I FEEL COMFORTABLE IN WHAT IM WEARING"? if it's yes, then i go on and say "THEN WHY DO YOU CARE ABOUT WHAT OTHERS THINK OF YOU" and continue saying to myself "ON THE DAY OF JUDGEMENT IT WILL BE ALLAH WHOM I STAND IN FRONT OF, AND THOSE HUMANS WHO MOCKED ME ON EARTH WILL NOT AVAIL ME". basically, we as women sometimes feel that we need to fit in with the other girls who dress up. you can wear an islamic attire and still look good and clean. but often even if we do look good in what wear, it's that shaytan whispers to us and says "you look old in that", "people will laugh"..etc etc etc. but if you seek refuge in Allah and tell yoruself, you know what, i'm doing this for the sake of Allah swt...then inshaAllah it will make you feel better. it does for me, and on a daily basis. So my advice, do not throw out your clothes from before, just make use of them by wearing the pants under and so on and wear the skirts with the shirts. if your hijab is short that your arms are seen, then by ones where you can't see your arms. otherwise just by some extra long sleeved shirts and mix them up witht he short hand sleeved ones. it works. When you look at those other muslims who dress immodestly, love for them that they be shown the right way. do not be jealous or concentrate on them. i'm told everyday basically that i look like an old lady, or that i look baggy or that i need "some make up" or that "the other girls look hotter than me"...but my answer to them is WHO CARES. Anyways take care ukhti. i hope this helped inshaAllah. i'm not trying to sugarcoat my words, i'm speaking from a personal experience. asalamu alaykum wrwb.

 

[Ashima33]

Salaam Sister,

I'm a convert and both my mom and sister are cosmotologists. I am very blessed that they are supportive of my decision to be muslim and wear hijab, but I understand to a degree what you're talking about with seeing other women and the way they look all "made up." But some of the things I try to keep in mind.... like sister Nurain stated, on the day of judgement it's just you and Allah. You will know no one else. Also, do you want to dress for other people or Allah? When I was doing my research on hijab, I found that some women stated that certain parts of hijab were not necessary... but what I would like to ask these women is... "how would you dress if you were praying?" and most of them I bet you would be properly covered for prayer, so sense we are supposed to be in a constant state ready for prayer, why would one compromise that?

Sometimes I also kind of giggle to myself about being covered and take pride in the fact that average people don't get to see my physical beauty. When I'm walking around a store or something I kind of crack a joke inside my head and say, "ShooOoooOoot. No one around here knows what I GOT under this! Ha!" hehe... just a thought to kind of make myself think more light of the situation, sense it can be tough at times.

I also think that if the comments your husband is making are effecting you, you should talk to him about it. Maybe not in the heat of the moment, like right after he says it to you and you're hurt... but later on. I know it would be extremely important to me to feel the support from my husband. Especially since one of the reasons I would be modest in dress was to make what my husband sees of me even more special.

Wasalaam.

 

[Nurain]

Asalam alaik warahmatullahi wabarakatuh

LOL sis Ashima you made me laugh. It is true you know. In addition, sometimes I wear *ahem* other clothes under my abaya and laugh to myself knowing all these people think I'm so decent . You are a revert and you think this way? Sister, you are one strong person!

And hear hear on the part whereby we must be in the constant state of praying. When I first started wearing hijjab, i sensed that some clothes I wore was not appropriate - cos it didnt feel right to pray in them.

Ma sha Allaah sis.. may Allaah subhanahu wataela constantly give hidayah to you.

Wasalam

 

[revert2007]

you are going through the same thing i went through.you should ask Allah to give you good cloths to cover your aurat.i did asked and i got it.second,please don't judge a book by it's cover-don't judge islam based on the people.i know that there still many muslims that don't obey Allah.
ask ourselves whether we want to go to jannah or to hell?of course jannah rite.so just wear the proper cloths as Allah asked.in the beginning you might struggle but things will be normal in the end.just remember one thing.we r not suppose to be afraid of anyone except Allah.let people say whatever they want.
here i would like to share a poem by sister Fatme H. Jaber(Dearborn - MI, U.S.A.
Wednesday, April 23, 2003 )

Hijab

You look at me and call me oppressed,
Simply because of the way I'm dressed,

You know me not for what is inside,
You judge the clothing I wear with pride,

My body is not for your eyes to hold,
You must speak to my mind, not my feminine mould,

I'm an individual. I'm no man's slave,
It's Allah's pleasure that I only crave,

I have a voice so I will be heard,
For in my heart I carry His word,

"O ye women, wrap close your cloak,
So you won't be bothered by ignorant folk".

Man doesn't tell me to dress this way,
It's law from God that I obey,

Oppressed is something I'm truly not,
For liberation is what I've got,

It was given to me many years ago,
With the right to prosper, the right to grow,

I can climb mountains or cross the seas,
Expand my mind in all degrees,

For God Himself gave us liberty,
When He sent Islam, to you and me !

 

[Everlasting Ligh]

Dear sisters,

Thank you for all your kind and motivating message. To be frank, i do felt blessed to be in Islam and covering myself. Now i dont get men enjoying looking at my figure anymore. Please dont misunderstood me, what i am stating is i love to dressed up and love to be presentable but with not many cloths to wear, i kind of hate my life.

Lately I dont like to be around with people, i tend to keep to myself and be alone most of the time. Because of trying so hard to wear the appropriate clothing, i sometimes look like an old lady and look haggert. Which i hate it so much coz that is not me, i used to be so lively and jovial. Every morning i dont feel like getting up to go to work anymore coz i have run out of clothing. And also i dont like to wear what the malay muslim is wearing here because i dont want to be label as "malay muslim" coz i am not one of them. I think i have problem my culture too, right?

The other side is maybe this is good too, so that i stay home all the time coz that is what women should be right? I always tell my husband to let me stay home so that i can take care of the children but his condition does not allow me to stop working.

To be honest, I am feeling so so tired and i really really need rest.....but the time is not today yet coz my children is still small and they need me..............

 

[IHearIslam]

I think I have a problem, a sick feeling in my self and I don’t really know how to start but let me try. Ever since I know what is the proper dress code of a muslimah, I have been trying to change and it cost me a lot coz I have so much of cloths that I cant wear anymore in my closet. I am trying so hard and sometimes I kind of hate my life coz I have no cloths to wear to go out to meet friends like I used to. I have budget to take care of and because I am trying so hard to change sometimes my husband teased me that I look like a person going to the garden. L Because I am trying to mix and match to cover myself.

Everytime when I go out, I will never wear a short sleeve shirt or short pants or without my scaft coz I know that is not covering my aurat. My questions now is why I…… have to cover myself because I am trying to obey my God and because I want Him to love me and yet I see born muslims don’t cover themselves? They dress like a kafir, like I used to wear before. For me to go back to what I used to wear before will be a NO NO for me coz I feel people is looking at my arms and legs.

Don’t they know or don’t they care?
Please tell me how to stop looking at other people and concentrate on myself only?

:salam2:

Sister, I know what you are saying walahi and I ask Allah to help all of us.Ameen
I think I have the same problem because I see sisters OF mine dressing up so bad with out HIJAB and I ask the same question but sister we have to MAKE dua for them whenever we see them. That is the ONLY thing we can do
remeber the prophet Muhamed said *when you see evil stop it with your hands if you can NOT, stop it with your tongue if you can NOT, then with your heart. MashaAllah sister, I truely adore the way you are thinking and worried, you truely inspire me to LOVE my hijab even MORE than I do NOW.SubhanaAllah Azeem
:tti_sister: Oh Allah help my dear sister with this situation, guide my other sisters back to the deen, protect us from the whispers of SATAN, forgive our sins, and grant us ALL jannah Al-firdous. Ameen Ya Allah, ya rahman, ya raheem, ya rabal Alameen