I think my Mother may be Commiting Zina!!! Help!

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Keen4Deen

New Member
My mother is commiting zina. One of her friends, that is close to our family always comes over to our house on the weekend. My mother cooks for him etc. he has a wife and kids and his wife and him get in fights so my mother lets him come to our house to blow off steam. He stays in my mother bedroom in order not to bother me and my siblings. Once I was in my room next to my mothers. the door was locked and I heard sounds from the other room (you know what sounds im talking about). Then after a while the man went into the bathroom and took a shower, then after he left my mother took a shower as well. This happens every weekend. I know what some of you are going to say "you can't be sure what you heard, shytaan is playing with your mind etc". Trust me it happens every weekend. I am goign to set up a hidden camera I can't let this go on. Yes I know it is a sin to spy but think about this. If I commit a sin, it written down as one bad deed, but if I stop this from happening isn't zina a bigger sin?
 

gr8 muslim

New Member
Allah(saw) does say in the quran that zina is one of the most dreadful and punishable sins therefore i dont blame you for wanting it to stop but what will putting a camera in her room solve? The best thing you can do is pray to allah that it will stop and hope that your prayer is succesful.
 

islamerica

1 Ummah under God
may Allah give her hidaya and guide her away from this sinful thing.

Is she a Muslim? where is your father? If she truly is doing this then it would be better to confront her and tell her to stop or you'll tell the wife of the guy cheating on her. I understand your frustration but is spycam really the solution? Who would watch that, are you going to watch your own mother doing that in order to prove and stop her. wouldn't it be better to talk to a trustworthy adult who would talk to her, or invite a trust worthy adult over when he comes.
 

Keen4Deen

New Member
yes my mother is muslim, our whole family is muslim. my father is divorced from my mother a long time ago. SO it is just my mother in the household with 5 of us. We are all grown. I am 21 my brother 27, sisters are 18, and 25. They will not believe me without proof and I don't want to make things worse.

Allah says:
And they say, "None will enter Paradise except one who is a Jew or a Christian." That is [merely] their wishful thinking, Say, "Produce your proof, if you should be truthful." Surah Al-Baqarah Verse:111

Therefore, i need some evidence to back up my claim, If I accuse my mom and they say your a liar, I will cause a big fitnah in my house but with proof they have to believe me.
 

islamerica

1 Ummah under God
Is the guy visiting a Muslim? Why is he coming over to blow of steam at your house. You are old enough to tell him to go home or not to enter your mother's bedroom. You should also tell your mom you know what is going on and she should stop. IF that doesn't work then I think you might have to do what you suggest. She might just stop or other possibility he would come over when no one is home or she go out to meet him.
 

hayat84

I'm not what you believe
:salam2:
if you're sure of what you've seen,you can show to your mother the verses of Quran which speaks about the fornication and the punishment...and if she doesn't believe that she won't be punished,then let her to the punishment of Allah.how can a muslim mother do such a "mistake".you shouldn't spy what she does,because Allah is the best All-Seer.......Allah yahdyha.:girl3:
 

Hatty

Junior Member
I pray that it will turn out not to be Zina.

Did you consider that your mother might be married to this man? Was there a possibility that this man got married to your mother and kept it a secrete and they did not tell anyone?

I have a feeling that your mother would not commit Zina in the open like that. All of you are in the house and she allows a non-mahrem man to go into the bedroom. There is a strong possibility that your mother might be married to this man.

This is what you need to find out when you talk to your mother. Tell her that we need to know if you are married to this man or not? Maybe she does not have the courage to tell you and your siblings that she got married again.
 

strive-may-i

Junior Member
:wasalam:

Firstly Eid Mubarak to you brother. Go to mosque, pray sincerely, pray for clarity of thought, pray that may truth prevail and sin stop.

Next, man up you are 21, you have observed something and derived at some conclusions , your conclusion is "you have a situation at home". Am echoing your take, Sense is not in flashing news to your siblings, sense is in a solution. This situation needs a solution. I honestly believe!

There are more aware, very knowledgeable folks in this forum, I suggest you wait for their inputs. **This thread merits attention**.

Lastly, coming to your situation at home -
1. No to hidden camera, tell you thoughts not to even dare think of it ever again.
Its unislamic. Its definitely a sin against your account. There are better ways of proof. The psychological impact of seeing the recording from a *sick idea* is even worser I think!!!​

2. Possibly she has married him and you are not aware
How to find out? Firstly behave mature, do not approach it with anger.
Someone with a good rapport with her, should Ask her. The question should be why she is not married again? Whoever has good rapport - you, one of your siblings, or all you kids together ask her or her parents or her siblings. Intention is to not let the news spread outside your house. Are you okay with your mothers second marriage? Incase you are not yet receptive, reflect deeply, it has merit. Casually ask your siblings, and see how they react to your mothers second marriage. I have recently heard about how teenage daughters made a big drama to their widowed mothers arranged marriage to another widower.
If your mothers marriage turns out to be true (I hope),
- its sad you folks are not aware of it, she might have her reasons for not revealing it.
- Please come back and update the topic.​

3. Its time to get her married, if she is not married yet (to him, preferably)
There will be complications, but its better for everyone. your mother needs a companion, kids are kids.​

4. you could have rephrased your thread title better..Be here in forums, you will learn a lot. Insha Allah
Because its not confirmed, a rephrase is better. I understand the sentiment and concern you have for your mother, I/we here appreciate that!​

Let know your thoughts. Hope all this helps. May Almighty guide as to whats good .... Ameen!
 

OsMaN_93

Here to help
He shoul chase him out the house!
yes kick him out.
Hide the key to your mum's room. Stay with your mum all the time. Play Qur'an verses about zina loudly in the house. Do not tell anyone unless they are family, as it will cause your mum a lot of shame. Tell one of your siblings who is likely to believe you. There's a lot of things that you can do.
 

Aapa

Mirajmom
Assalaam walaikum,

We do not know the facts. It may be that he is her husband. It may be that they have to as the youth say keep it down low..

We do not know what the mother endured. We do know she raised children who are Muslims.

In the language of simple speak: she is grown..her children are grown..she has carried out her responsibilities..

Muslims do not spy on each other.please...

It could be that she is scared to discuss her personal affairs with her children. Its funny ...but children are the worst critics of parents..they can be so unforgiving..she carried you..she bore you..she fed you..you were always first..eat child..this is your favorite food, let me caress you..let me wipe away your buggas ( yes I wrote it)..she wiped your bottoms..and you want to spy on her?

Why not be adult and ask her if she wishes to share something with you. Make salat..but please remember..this is your mother. Or be man enough to ask the gentleman to explain to you his rights over your mother. No anger. You need to be protective over her.

You have a right to be concerned..it is the way you go about doing it that is important. Man up, put out your hand and say: Sir, we need to have a discussion, out of the love for my mother and her well being.
 

queenislam

★★★I LOVE ALLAH★★★
My mother is commiting zina. One of her friends, that is close to our family always comes over to our house on the weekend. My mother cooks for him etc. he has a wife and kids and his wife and him get in fights so my mother lets him come to our house to blow off steam. He stays in my mother bedroom in order not to bother me and my siblings. Once I was in my room next to my mothers. the door was locked and I heard sounds from the other room (you know what sounds im talking about). Then after a while the man went into the bathroom and took a shower, then after he left my mother took a shower as well. This happens every weekend. I know what some of you are going to say "you can't be sure what you heard, shytaan is playing with your mind etc". Trust me it happens every weekend. I am goign to set up a hidden camera I can't let this go on. Yes I know it is a sin to spy but think about this. If I commit a sin, it written down as one bad deed, but if I stop this from happening isn't zina a bigger sin?
~~~
:salam2:

:astag:
Now that's so obvious.
As a child to our dear mother surely we won't want our mother to be drag futher in commiting sin especially some man are making use of her .
I suggest you to contact the Islamic council or the masjid people for advice without telling them that this person is your mother.

Ask them what best to do in this situasion.Because surely it mean a big deal of embarrasment if she got caught immediately especially she is your mother and that act is happening in your house, definately you will be drag in embarrasment situation too.

We need somebody that is close and respectable in your family to talk this thing out with her.Tell her to stop doing whatever the wrong that she has commit and that if she needed this man desperately maybe they can get nikah to avoid making that great sin over and over.

If she still stubornly continue and insist the bad practice, then you should proceed to report this matter to the Islamic council and make them come and witness the bad scenario and let them take every legal step poissible according to the Shariah law.

She is your mother and your good judgement will save and help her from hell fire~Insya'allah.

~May Allah swt help and guide you~Amin!

Happy Eid'ul Adha Al Mubarak!
Take care!
~Wassalam



p.s:
But ofcourse this include in the Islamic law that if a man wish to take for another wife he have to let his wife know.
That does she agree to that her husband taken another wife or not.

A:If she agree to share her husband with this another woman
Or
B: call it a divorce.

A wife has her choice to decide.


Thank you,
~Wassalam :)
 

Abdul Hasib

Student of Knowledge
Assalamu Aleykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakaathuh brother.

So your mother is DIVORCED and she's committing Zina? Sounds really weird. She should go marry that friend of hers (since he IS allowed to have more than one wife in Shariah).

And if you REALLY want to use a camera and afterwards show your mom/siblings, then (since she's OVIOUSLY going to feel ashamed that you found at that she's doing Zina) you should tell your mom and her lovemate that they should DO NIKAH, because the guy OBVIOUSLY won't feel like staying at your house (since he has his own house and kids). And breaking up after marriage and consumation is better than having a Haram relationshp.
 

a_stranger

Junior Member
I think she is married to that man , it is unreasonable that she do such a thing , but you can let her hear about such matters indirectly, while you are sitting with her just let her hear an islamic lecture.
 

Noor El-Huda

Junior Member
Your mother ‘s rights over you – that of respect and good treatment.
Your rights over your mother – to allow you to fullfill your role, as the man of the house, (alongside your brother) to protect her and your younger siblings.
Allah's right over you - to protect the boundaries set by him swt.


Allah swt has given you this position as an adult male muhram to your mother.
You have every right to affirm your existence.

“We are a nation, whom Allah honoured through Islam, and in it (Islam) we seek honour, and if we seek it in something else, Allah will dishonour us”
(Omar bin Alkhatab ra).

A stranger to your mum should not be passing through the door of the house without the presence of a muhram, (male that is not permissible to marry, e.g. son , father) let alone the bedroom!

Al-Bukhari and Muslim narrated from Abdullah ibn Umar - may Allah be pleased with them - that the Messenger of Allah peace be upon him says: you is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. Imam is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock, and the man is the shepherd of his family and is responsible for his flock, and the woman is the shepherd of her husband's house and responsible for her flock, the shepherd of the server and the master's wealth and is responsible for his flock.

Gain your strength from Islam.

As it is islamically wrong that your mum should expect of you that you turn a blind eye to all that is happening.

It is also islamically wrong to have hidden eyes inside your mother’s bedroom.

Islam is a religion of moderation. Your mum owes it to you that your position is not overlooked. You need to discuss the true nature of this relationship.
Is it marriage or is it your worst fears?

If it is marriage, then you need to know about it.
I have heard of a situation where a mother wanted to keep her marriage secret from members of her family–bad idea, but it remains a possibility in this case!

If it is your worst fears, (god forbid) then the relationship needs to be made halal!
In such a situation seek the advice of a knowledgeable sheikh of how to handle it.

My son is your age. He is the man of my house. He knows he can discuss with me his worries and concerns and assert his presence. Have faith in yourself, that with the help of Allah swt in this very tough situation, you can do that with your mother too. May Allah bestow his guidance on your mother, you and us all.
 

samiha

---------
Staff member
:salam2:

This is a very very quick reply, and simply my opinion, so do keep it in mind...

Firstly, you and your brothers are your mothers Mahrams - remember that. It is your job to protect, help and facilitate all good ways for your mother, gaurd her honor and safeguard her from evil. So like people have been saying, you need to step up to the plate and help your mother out from this angle, and be a man in the family. This includes speaking to her about Islaam, about not allowing a man into her bedroom like that, talking to her like the adult you are, rationlizing, and at the same time telling her it is out of her well wishing and want for goodness.

It is haraam for her to be alone with and entertain a man in these sorts of situations - haraam - so that zina or anything else can be prevented. Speak to your siblings about this, and destroy the root first before assuming it is Zina.

Secondly - you can speak to your mum, ask her about what's going on. I do not think it is a good idea (and perhaps not even permissible?) for you to put a camera in her room. That's sort of just sick to be honest. Don't lay your suspicions on her, let her have her say, and make sure she's not avoiding the question, and ask in a tone which expects a truthful answer. Usually if a person is lying or making up excuses it's noticable. And in whatever case, whether she says it is true or not, like I mentioned, you have the right to protect her from any man so step up and don't let him in. Try explaining and reasoning with her first, bringing proof from our Deen, remind her about the Hellfire etc... but not doing anything is not a part of obedience to your parents.

If you saw a person standing at your door blow-torch in hand saying, "Oh I just want to put your mum on fire" there's no way on earth you're letting him through. Apply the same principle. Even if it's not Zina, being alone is Haraam. So insist that either you be there, or he get out.

Taking a video and wanting to show your siblings makes it seem like you just want to humilate your mum instead of helping her. Think further brother, than her just doing wrong. YES if it HAS occured (and I'm not saying it has) then she has done wrong. Severly wrong. But she is still your mother, and you have the obligation to protect her honor until and unless she refuses it.

Other good suggestions in this thread too.

Allaah knows best.
 

Psychonautslog

New Member
'Zina' means adaultery? It is frowned upon in almost every religion I know, not only in Islam. Sages knew and know, that societies will break apart, when the families break apart. Can you not talk with your mother about the issue?
 

Idris16

Junior Member
I see some idiot responses here. This thread should be moved to the brothers section.. To those who say the mother might be married. I ask you... who married her off? Who's her Wali?

My mother is commiting zina. One of her friends, that is close to our family always comes over to our house on the weekend. My mother cooks for him etc. he has a wife and kids and his wife and him get in fights so my mother lets him come to our house to blow off steam. He stays in my mother bedroom in order not to bother me and my siblings. Once I was in my room next to my mothers. the door was locked and I heard sounds from the other room (you know what sounds im talking about). Then after a while the man went into the bathroom and took a shower, then after he left my mother took a shower as well. This happens every weekend. I know what some of you are going to say "you can't be sure what you heard, shytaan is playing with your mind etc". Trust me it happens every weekend. I am goign to set up a hidden camera I can't let this go on. Yes I know it is a sin to spy but think about this. If I commit a sin, it written down as one bad deed, but if I stop this from happening isn't zina a bigger sin?
Salam alaykum warahmatullah brother.
No need for the camera. Just beat that man if you can. That is if you are able to do that. Tell him NOT to come to your house anymore. That man is married and is committing adultery. The punishment for that is stoning.
 
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