I think my Mother may be Commiting Zina!!! Help!

[Kakorot]

I'm not trying to be silly in what I say but the next time when your mother and that guy are alone in a room, you should just burst in pretending you're looking for something. And if you catch them doing the haram then tell the guy to leave your house or you and your other brothers will physically hurt him. He'll gey scared and won't come back inshallah. But I don't know what you can say to your mum. It depends on what her reaction will be when she knows that you and your siblings found out.

If you are not man enough to do the above (I don't mean to say this in a mean way btw) when the guy comes and say he's in the kitchen, living room etc. with your mum, then sit with them and keep asking him when he's going to leave. Indicate that you don't like him being with your mum. Maybe even ask him would he mind if you told his wife and children that he comes over your house to spend time with your mum.

I hope Allah makes things easy for you inshallah.

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

This thread is pure speculation. The poster has not spoken to his mother or the gentleman in question.

If this is a serious concern than the young man must approach his mother in the most respectful of ways. She bore him in pain.

As a mother if my sons ever doubted my behavior they would have very sore bottoms regardless of their age.

Doubt comes from shytan...what are you doubting..if she is a practicing believing woman who fears Allah she would never step one centimeter beyond halaal. Or ask the sibling that has the most trusting relationship with your mother to confide in her your fears, your speculation.

But, son, you do not question your mother's behavior unless she is kufr.

 

[Keen4Deen]

I have spoken to my mother about the fact that it is not allowed for this man to come to our house, but she tells me that if i don't like it I should leave and if I approach him or speak to his family she will throw me out the door. my siblings don't seem to mind that he comes over. I am the only one in the house who is very religious, my mother and I pray, all my siblings dont. So of course they side with my mom since I am the "crazy extremist muslim brother or ours"

 

[hayat84]

brother,you're an adult and you are mature.you can't do anything agaist who delivered you,except asking her to be a good example with her family.Fornication is a bad sin,and if she lived in an Arabic land like Iran or else,she would have been executed by lapidation if she was an adulterer and by the phisycal punishment if she was a fornicatrice...
brother,at your place I would have never forgiven such a behavior and I would have go as far as possible,because it hurts me if my mother makes something wrong(and she's married for 27 years with the same and only man,and she's not muslimah).
I pray Allah for her guidance.but if she's married to this man,you have to respect her choice,because it's not forbidden to a woman to get married twice

 

[Noor El-Huda]

[QUOTE=Idris16;532195] I see some idiot responses here. This thread should be moved to the brothers section.. To those who say the mother might be married. I ask you... who married her off? Who's her Wali?



Brother Idris, I was raising the possibility that the mother may have married this guy as a co-wife, and not cared about having a wali for some reason. Now whether that makes a marriage void or not is a different matter.

We are here to help each other and not ridicule each other. There are better ways in tackling a difference of opinion and raising awareness.

"Invite (all) to the Way of thy Lord with wisdom and beautiful preaching; and argue with them in ways that are best and most gracious." Noble Qur'ân 16:125

Abu Hurairah,
may Allah be pleased with him, reported: Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) observed: He who believes in Allah and the Last Day should either utter good words or better keep silent;

 

[Kakorot]

I have spoken to my mother about the fact that it is not allowed for this man to come to our house, but she tells me that if i don't like it I should leave and if I approach him or speak to his family she will throw me out the door. my siblings don't seem to mind that he comes over. I am the only one in the house who is very religious, my mother and I pray, all my siblings dont. So of course they side with my mom since I am the "crazy extremist muslim brother or ours"

Okay well try to get your other siblings involved and if they don't want to cooperate and your mother doesn't want to listen to your advice, then at least you've done your bit.

 

[islamerica]

:salam2:

You should go talk to a sheikh for some advice on this. He would be more qualified and experienced in these matters.

 

[Um Ibrahim]

:salam2:

Wow, this brother is in such a difficult situation, subhanalaah! I really feel bad for you brother that you're in such a bad situation. As everyone has already said your mother is your mother, you have to treat her with respect and kindness. Just ask her if she's married to the guy, and if she's not, then since that guy is NOT your father, I would agree with Idris on this. Just bully that damn man who's probably taking advantage of your mother. Don't even talk to your mother about anything else except to fear Allah. Tell her to fear Allah and stop doing zina if and when you find out that she really is doing zina. As for that man tell the guy to stay away from your house and your mother or else you'll physically hurt him. Fight with him if he comes to your house when you're there and then call the police and get a restraining order against him. If your mother and him want to take it somewhere else, then that's on them, but you did your part. But to do nothing, I think Allah's Anger will probably fall on everyone who's in that house and is a witness to such disgusting acts going on without taking any steps to stop it. May Allah rectify your situation.

 

[ShahnazZ]

I do recall this being posted before after I read the poster's last post in this thread.

This is a very sickening situation. Honestly, if she's not listening and no one else is either, I'd take her advice and just leave. Otherwise living under the same roof as her would be torture. For me at least.

I wish you all the best, Brother.

 

[MohammedMaksudul]

:salam2:

I even recall the last post of the thread started being posted before.

 

[MohammedMaksudul]

:salam2:

I recall even the last post of the poster of the thread being posted before.

 

[Hard Rock Moslem]

Brother, I'm sad that you have to mention it is about your mother... you should make question about zina and what to do without the need to expose who is the person. Whatever it is, she is your bother avoid defaming her.

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

My concern is that we have three members who recall this exact thread. If the poster could tell us what made him repost this it would be good.

And I have concerns..someone help please tell me that I am making sense...why are you putting your mothers business out there...

the mother is not a little girl...AND the poster is listening to sounds he should not..he is misinterpreting the sounds of lovemaking as noise.
..why are you in the house..go take a cold shower..go for a walk....

She may be married and needs to be very quiet about it..This is about assumptions and not communication.

This is an issue where the young man is not able to discuss an issue with his mother..and maybe she is through with him.

 

[Riham]

My mother is commiting zina......

..... I am goign to set up a hidden camera I can't let this go on. Yes I know it is a sin to spy but think about this. If I commit a sin, it written down as one bad deed, but if I stop this from happening isn't zina a bigger sin?

Assalamu alaykum.

Au'dhu billahi mina shaytaanir rajeem!

I don't care how great a sinner may be. Nor do I care whether that person is a Muslim or not. A true Muslim does not find faults with others, least of all his own mother!

Even if she is committing zina...... couldn't you at least find it in your heart to make excuses for her?! Why did you jump to the worst conclusions?!

Why couldn't you accept your mother's explanation for whatever was happening and leave it at that?

Why expose the faults of your own mother.... on the internet... to the public?!

And you want support for your decision to put a spy camera in her room?!

La ilaha il Allah!!!

This is sheer disrespect for the woman who bore you and stark ingratitude!

It might be true that your mother is committing zina.... but you suffer from something that is far worse than that. Arrogance.

Au'dhu billahi mina shaytaanir rajeem!!!

 

[aboo_jadd]

I have spoken to my mother about the fact that it is not allowed for this man to come to our house, but she tells me that if i don't like it I should leave and if I approach him or speak to his family she will throw me out the door. my siblings don't seem to mind that he comes over. I am the only one in the house who is very religious, my mother and I pray, all my siblings dont. So of course they side with my mom since I am the "crazy extremist muslim brother or ours"

It seems like a tough case and I have sent you a PM. Just don't do one thing...and that is record the incidents, you are a religious Muslim and you yourself know that is not right, especially spying. As for your mother saying not to approach the other family, it is closer to indicating that she is not married than she is. But that is a suspicious thought and you want to assume that your mother at best case is "married" even though there may be a 99% chance that she is not but it will protect yourself from thinking she is a fornicator, no child wants to think of their parents as that.

However, the reason I say it is a tough case is because it seems that the man is betraying his family considering he hasn't even told them about the relationship. Consider seeking advice from knowledgeable Muslims inshaAllah.

 

[Riham]

Assalamu alaykum.

I wonder if this thread can be deleted. It is just sick.

I am unable to digest the idea that a Muslim man can expose the sins of his mother on the internet, speak about her in such a disrespectful way and even have the audacity to put a spy camera in her room to prove that he is right in his assumptions about her.

True Muslims cover up the faults of others with the hope that Allah will on the Day of Judgment will cover up theirs.

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

I have to agree. This is so speculative. Let us concentrate on the good. And let us make dua that the poster can learn to communicate with his mother.

 

[strive-may-i]

Keen4Deen, Firstly its good you responded back. I was waiting to hear from you. Please remember, You/we do not know, which act will turn out to weigh heavily on judgement day.

Now what you are trying to do is, gather worldly support from fellow humans, rather than seek from Almighty, I feel its a test of your Imaan, And *sick idea spying* is worst reaction. you are unable do digest, most would not I agree, But 'You' have to come out clean in this test....

I have seen some of your other posts in the forum, I see a person of reason in you, and like most of us, even you too have your own troubles.I pray your peace of mind and sense of honor sinks back deep in you, I pray your personal problems disappear forever... I wish you to do the same too, turn to Allah. We wish you remain honorable, in your life's trials

And, there mostly is anger /frustration/ helplessness building up in you, And if thats the case, you should calm down, (just like how a mother calms down when she has a son who has committed wrong, and finds a way to speak sense to her sons mind) and do everything to protect your family. You are not a misfit there, you want to see better things in your family, so you better get your act right!

You should seek Almighty Allah's guidance, you should let love sink into you, , that's when sense would be restored in you, And when that happens , Insha Allah, you will be able to resolve this problem amicably. And remember, anything accusing, anything violent, a wrong to correct a wrong, is not good for you, is not good for your immediate family, not good for your extended family, not good for an obedient ummah... Be here, its going to do you good.

You could take help, from an Imaam whom you assess to be good enough for it.

 

[nyerekareem]

Can this thread please get closed. It's just offensive to read how a son can put his mothers business on the Internet.

PLEASE CLOSE!!!!

 

[msmoorad]

I have spoken to my mother about the fact that it is not allowed for this man to come to our house, but she tells me that if i don't like it I should leave and if I approach him or speak to his family she will throw me out the door. my siblings don't seem to mind that he comes over. I am the only one in the house who is very religious, my mother and I pray, all my siblings dont. So of course they side with my mom since I am the "crazy extremist muslim brother or ours"

salaams to all

ask your mother- why does'nt he marry her as well?
make nikah without telling the 1st wife so that whatever they do is not zinah.
so they can carry on with this arrangement and not fall into sin.

other than that- she is an adult who knows that what she doing is haraam.

all you can do is make lots of duaah for her.

also,if its possible-try not to be there when this man comes over- so you dont get upset & frustrated.
if you can move out- all the better.

its not your responsibility as this is not within your power to sort out.

insha allah things will work out & your mom & this man will realise the seriousness of their actions.

and Allah ta'ala knows best
jazakallah