i was wondering something...

[jabba]

Salaam,

Sister by your questions you help so many people. We are so influenced by non-Islamic customs that we forget the wisdom behind Islamic marriage.
No-one is questioning your relationship. We are all attempting to raise our deen. The closer we follow the way of the Quran the easier life is for us.

Sister, in all honesty, if I had followed the way of the sunnath, maybe I would not be alone right now. I grew up in the west. I fought for the women's liberation movement. I did the bra burning, in your face, i am woman thing. It was a joke in the end. I have changed my ways and I pray Allah forgives the mistakes of my youth.

Please know I am speaking as an older sister who does not wish any sister unnecessary heartache. Sister, know that your comments are always brave and I welcome them.

:salam2:
thanks sister

 

[farhopes]

Assalamo alikom

Dear sister Jabba, your husband is a great blessing from Allah SWT., may Allah bless your marriage and increase your love. However, this is not the common case, it is just an exceptional. That's why Islam sets rules to control marriage because it is the most important relation the whole Muslim society based on. Some of those Islamic rules are what sister Mirajmom has said.

Islam sets rules for all Muslims to follow to guarantee safety and success to this sacred relation. At the same time there are very wide differences concerning the nature of the marital relation and what's going on inside houses according to the differences of culture, tempers, and manners.

Those Islamic rules are the standard that every Muslim should follow. And if Allah grants us spouses that are so noble and generous that we can handle our relation as we both like and according to our own way, that definitely would be a great blessing, but still an exception. I myself hope it will be the same with me.

 

[Basicofislam]

:salam2: I think we have answered sister yasmineswe enough. She had the same question written in different words posted 4 days back. Now this question. I think we should give her space and let her read and understand. Cause one thing is being open to other religion . Which i dont think she is. Yes maybe she is confused if she should marry a man from another religion so she is asking questions. But she really needs to go to a sheikh + marriage counseler who can give fatwa. Who understands the hadith and quran properly.

 

[mohsofi_abdullah]

Salam brothers and sisters, and greetings to Yasmeen,

In the end, Yasmeen should benefit from the muslimat discussions on issues of marriage, and why some women feel and act differently than others.
I believe, men, play an important part in marriage, whether or not, their feelings of love and respect, surpasses Islamic Values, or in accordance to them.

We feel bad, that some men, can't do his job as the head of the family, taking care of the wife and the kids, but does anybody know if the man wasn' trying to stir his life, by making it worse, going head to head with westernized wife, who was brought up believing we are all equals, and therefore, we can go anywhere we want without questions from the significant others? Or, not obeying what the husbands want in bedroom, or chores at home, or the suitability of the clothings?

Please take our time to analyse this.

A lot of men are evil, but mostly, we are ignorants too. Same with women.
But, a lot of men are not showing good examples while leaving the obedient sisters questioning the worst scenario that the family is facing. This is vice versa, and along the road, there's bound to be a happy family that we could make good examples of.

I keep asking brothers and sisters to find the best way not to become to controlling with our partners, but not to undermine our responsibility to monitor the family under our custody. This is an ISLAMIC way to avoid "gossips" or fitnah among the members of one's family.

Some people say, we dont' mind fitnah, because it's not going to break us, but that is what's wrong with this world, nowadays. No trust, Adultery, Zina, Torture in Family, sadistic revenge, and many more. Islam has provided ways to create the easy ways to go through all these, but men, as weak as we are, have always managed to ridicule ourselves by creating branches of lifestyle that do not follow the sunnah and Al Quranul Karim.

Trust me people, fitnah is headache to everyone, and we shouldn't think it would not hurt anyone. Because it does.

Wassalam

 

[najbc]

What I am writing is what I think as woman and what I would do. If you are going to married this person that has different religion than you. You should get to know the person religion before you guys get married and there are children involve and see what this religion say. You say love the person and there should not be anything stopping you from married them. It really does not matter how we raise our kids, they sometimes will take different path and religion than we taught them about. Sis, do not worry about the kids, worry about yourself and look at this religion for yourself and decide if you feel comfortable to marry someone that was this religion, it is about you. Islam is really beautiful and peaceful religion. And I hope when you are deciding if to marry this brother you should keeping in mind what you read about the Quraan and please do not listen to anyone, find out what Islam is all about for yourself. I hope you make the right decision, a decision that makes you happy and satisfied. But please see the truly about Islam before you decide. Wish you the best luck and take care of yourself

 

[jabba]

Insignificant? Pardon me, sister, but we are talking here about the center of a man's material life and the number one reason men marry. We are talking about something that, for men, has more priority than food or even survival! It may be petty to you but a man who acts according to his in-born nature is not petty. Muslim men, even the best of them, are afflicted by the same in-born nature!

Suppose your only daughter comes home after a long day at school and she's starved. She couldn't buy any food because she ran out of allowance. There's nothing to eat at home. Wouldn't you go out, however tired you are, to buy her food? If you don't and expect her to bear the hunger and she is disappointed but obeys you, would you call her disappointment petty?

The prophet peace be upon him said, "If any of you (men) saw something attractive in a woman, go home and make love to your wife. She has what that woman has!" Now, suppose he goes home to do just that only to find that his wife is not in the mood or tired! Do I have to spell out to you what that will do to him? And if it's been accumulating for a while, we have a recipe for disaster.

Again, sister, please understand that I'm not criticizing you or your marriage, may God bless it, just emphasizing to you something that you may not have regarded with its proper emphasis.

:salam2:
I'm sorry you just don't understand since you are not me or my husband, you cannot use some analogy to replace what I said either. It may be hard for you to understand....I'm sorry for that but like I said b4 I'm not going into it anymore, so basically you have no idea if I "leave him waiting" or not. I love and respect my husband so obviously I wouldn't do anything to make him mad or frustrated on purpose. I'm not trying to offend you either but women have feelings too, we're not just blow up dolls that are ready whenever the husband is

 

[Aapa]

Salaam,

Sister you do not need to explain anything to anyone. This thread started by a woman who is contemplating marrying a Muslim. She stated she was not interested in converting.
What we have done is open her eyes to the seriousness of a mixed (?) marriage. Many of the issues raised can only be answered individually. We are all lacking in knowledge of our faith. You have helped us to better understand the roles of husband and wife as delinated in the Holy Quran.
As the young lady has not responded in a while I wonder if it best that we move on and learn about the responisbility of Muslim marriage. Would someone please start the topic.
Sister, you are a strong woman and I respect that.

 

[jabba]

===DELETED===

:salam2:
Brother why did you delete what you wrote concerning me? People can still see what you wrote said since I quoted it......

 

[jabba]

I felt that you were offended by what I wrote and that's the last thing I wanted to do. I apologize if I did. It was not at all my intention.

:salam2:
no worries i'm not offended, nothing anyone says about how my husband and i are towards eachother can offend me because Ahamdullilah I have been blessed in this part of my life, I know it and I will always be greatful.

 

[justmuslim]

Asalamu allaykum to my bros and sists of islaam,

first of all, i love you all for the sake of Allah (swc). miraj. sis mansha allah and i agree with u 100%. however, i don't unders. how some one who is considering him/her self muslim marry nonmuslim and saying that children will chose their religion when they got old, subhanallah.don't they know Allah subhanahu wata'ala will ask them the day of jugm.and they are respons. that. even Allah will ask them their wives. My bros and sists in faith remember life is short and one day front of Allah we will ask every action we make. pls my brs and sis think Allah and don't mary nonmuslim wait until they revert and study islam deeply and remember everything you say or do will be ask one day no excuse and be prepare what u will answer.
my Allah forgive me and make us mumin and muminah not just a muslim.

 

[manofhonour]

may peace be on you sister,

The Islam is not a new religion. As you belong to Christan Family, if you follow the actual teachings of Jesus (PBUH), You would definetly become aware about the Islam, Be'coz Both Jusus & Prpphet Mohammad (PBUH) Spread the same Message that "There is no god but Allah & worship him alone". So if you believe on it, you belong to the Muslim Community. So plz. read your scriptures as well as the islamic Scriptures (i.e. Quran & Sahi Hadith).


wasalam

 

[imran pardesi]

are you real christian

Bismillah hir rahman nir raheem
If any christian, or hindu or jew says that if i accept islam it mean i changed my religion no sorry it mean one is ignroant of his religon because accepting islam is not a conversation is a completion of all religion christianity, hinduism, or jewism or buddism or any other religon exist in this world.why?
because Mohammed (saw) is only the personality in the world for whom the followers of every religion exist in this world has been ordered to must believe in him either jews, christan, hindus, buddas, etc.(not only accept him but believe in him0

if you go through the religios scripture of anybody you will find Mohammad (saw) in it, like all prophets who came in this world you will find in islam.

and we can proof it from either old testment, new testment gospels, vaids, paran, geeta, every religious book exist in this world and it is our challenge that only Mohammad(saw) is prohpet that all religions are awaiting for him.

Ok, Im a Lutheran Christian, not interested in converting to Islam or anything. Imengaged to an Algerian man and he is very religious. He proposed to me already after 3 months together and now he wants to marry me in september. I love him but Im just interested if there is a possibility to do some kind of Christian wedding COMBINED with a muslim one? And how a life is married as a Christian non converter with a muslim (do you have to convert, what happens with the kids etc...). Im just very curious and I need to get all my questions answered before I take this any further really.
Might sound stupid in your eyes but I grew up in a very closed up village in Sweden and I now live in London.
Many thanks for any kind of advise.

 

[yasmineSwe]

Bismillah hir rahman nir raheem
If any christian, or hindu or jew says that if i accept islam it mean i changed my religion no sorry it mean one is ignroant of his religon because accepting islam is not a conversation is a completion of all religion christianity, hinduism, or jewism or buddism or any other religon exist in this world.why?
because Mohammed (saw) is only the personality in the world for whom the followers of every religion exist in this world has been ordered to must believe in him either jews, christan, hindus, buddas, etc.(not only accept him but believe in him0

if you go through the religios scripture of anybody you will find Mohammad (saw) in it, like all prophets who came in this world you will find in islam.

and we can proof it from either old testment, new testment gospels, vaids, paran, geeta, every religious book exist in this world and it is our challenge that only Mohammad(saw) is prohpet that all religions are awaiting for him.

Hi there,
I do not really understand why you question my religious beliefs. Respect me as I respect you. I have been brought up as a Christian and I study to become a minister at the University, I do not believe in Mohamemd but I have been thought to respect other beliefs such as yours. And we do pray tpo the same God right, isnt that why Islam, Christianity and Jewish are called "the three abrahamitian religions?" I believe in one God and one God only and that Jesus is the son of God, so please respect that even if you dont BELIEVE it. I am not here to condemn anyone or say "what you think is wrong", I am only here to find out more information about your religion because I am to wed a muslim man shortly.

take good care of yourself and God bless

 

[sajjuaiah]

Hello,

Very are happy to see you here.

You came to the right place.

May Allah (God) guide to those who have true god consious.

Al-Quran:
“And whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a
him to get out (from every difficulty).
And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. And whosoever
puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him. Verily, Allah will accomplish
purpose. Indeed Allah has set a measure for all things”[al-Talaaq 65:2-3]

 

[dianne]

Hi there,
I do not really understand why you question my religious beliefs. Respect me as I respect you. I have been brought up as a Christian and I study to become a minister at the University, I do not believe in Mohamemd but I have been thought to respect other beliefs such as yours. And we do pray tpo the same God right, isnt that why Islam, Christianity and Jewish are called "the three abrahamitian religions?" I believe in one God and one God only and that Jesus is the son of God, so please respect that even if you dont BELIEVE it. I am not here to condemn anyone or say "what you think is wrong", I am only here to find out more information about your religion because I am to wed a muslim man shortly.

take good care of yourself and God bless

Jesus is not son of God,who is that the father of God? Who is the mother of God then?
What do you know about mother mary? As what you had told us that youre religious christians.
Maybe we dont know what is your beliefs,as what we beliefs Islam.

Is there something that were arent notice in christian protestants? At least u share something to us.

bye

 

[Ladybug3478]

Christian married to a husband born in predominantly Muslim country

Hello,

I am a Christian woman who has married a Muslim man. I've been with my husband for a little over 7 years. He is still Muslim and I am still Christian. My husband is not necessarily a practicing Muslim but, he does have a few customs that are different to mine. So, long story made short - it was never a big issue but, some adjustments had to be made on both parts. And, it's probably not such a big issue because he's not a practicing Muslim. So, you should definitely find out where your husband's heart is. You have to understand if he is a practicing Muslim and if you're a practicing Christian -then there is no life without GOD - in your own way - as probably you both separately believe. So, if you believe what you have is life and the right way to GOD and he believes the same thing but, you are both on different paths...then as with any good relationship you need to talk about where you are (straight talk from the heart) and where you want to be. And, that will answer your questions about the kids...if you both decide to live together with the understanding that you’re beliefs are separate - you're children will probably grow up learning about both religions and making their own decision. If you or him believes that either of your religion is the only way...then you'll probably need to have another conversation about the future children and definitely find out where your husband's heart is. You have to understand if he is a practicing Muslim and if you're a practicing Christian - then there is no life without GOD - in your own way (two separate ways in this case).

Please note: My view is not that of a Muslim and I’m not attempting to answer your question in regard to any specific actions etc.. that need to take place before and/ or after one marries as I cannot answer that since I’m not a Muslim.

So, one of my prayers to GOD is that He shows me the right way and shows me how to worship him so that when my time comes I will be in his good grace.

 

[yasmineSwe]

Hi Sister Yasmine,
I hope u understand the text from our sister is not just a story but it based on what Islam religion teach us - Al quran & sunnah.raising children is responsible for muslim man.bcoz that is what Allah swt will asks on the day here after.

Here is articles for u to read-

Question:
Why is it that a catholic girl married to a muslim man CANNOT celebrate her religous festivals? even though she is married to a muslim she still remains a catholic. shouldnt she be able to worship what she belives?.

Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.

If a Christian girl agrees to marry a Muslim man, then she should be aware of a number of things:

1 – The wife is commanded to obey her husband, so long as it does not involve sin. No differentiation is made between a Muslim wife and a non-Muslim wife with regard to that. If her husband tells her to do something that is not a sin, then she is obliged to obey him. Allaah has given this right to men, because they are in charge of the family and are responsible for it, and family life cannot run smoothly unless one of its members is in charge and is listened to and obeyed. But this does not mean that the man is allowed to dominate or exploit this right in order to mistreat his wife and children, rather he must strive hard to do a good job, to offer sincere advice and consult with them.

But life is not free of matters that need to be settled in a decisive manner. The Christian girl needs to understand this principle before she goes ahead and marries a Muslim.

2 – Islam allows marriage to a Christian or Jewish woman, i.e., it permits a man to marry such a woman whilst she continues to follow her religion. The husband does not have the right to force her to become Muslim, or to stop her worshipping in her own way. But he does have the right to forbid her to go out of the house, even if she is going to go out to go to church, because she is commanded to obey him. He also has the right to forbid her to commit evil openly in the house, such as setting up statues or ringing bells.

That also includes celebrating innovated festivals, such as Easter, because that is an evil action according to Islam, in two ways. It is an innovation for which there is no basis, like celebrating the birthday of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and Mother’s Day, and it also includes false beliefs, namely the belief that the Messiah was killed and crucified, then placed in the grave, then rose from it.

Hi dianne! Please can you put where u found this as a support as I have ´never heard this before. I dont really want peoples opinion because I know people tend to practice their own way sometimes, If someone writes something I want it to be supported at least from the quran or a hadith. Thank you very much!

The truth is that ‘Eesa (Jesus – peace be upon him) was not killed or crucified, rather that he was taken up to heaven alive.


Islam QA

Well.... Im not sure if you are educated in that matter because we dont believe that he died, he was taken up alive to heaven by God as u wrote

take care!!

 

[yasmineSwe]

Hello,

I am a Christian woman who has married a Muslim man. I've been with my husband for a little over 7 years. He is still Muslim and I am still Christian. My husband is not necessarily a practicing Muslim but, he does have a few customs that are different to mine. So, long story made short - it was never a big issue but, some adjustments had to be made on both parts. And, it's probably not such a big issue because he's not a practicing Muslim. So, you should definitely find out where your husband's heart is. You have to understand if he is a practicing Muslim and if you're a practicing Christian -then there is no life without GOD - in your own way - as probably you both separately believe. So, if you believe what you have is life and the right way to GOD and he believes the same thing but, you are both on different paths...then as with any good relationship you need to talk about where you are (straight talk from the heart) and where you want to be. And, that will answer your questions about the kids...if you both decide to live together with the understanding that you’re beliefs are separate - you're children will probably grow up learning about both religions and making their own decision. If you or him believes that either of your religion is the only way...then you'll probably need to have another conversation about the future children and definitely find out where your husband's heart is. You have to understand if he is a practicing Muslim and if you're a practicing Christian - then there is no life without GOD - in your own way (two separate ways in this case).

Please note: My view is not that of a Muslim and I’m not attempting to answer your question in regard to any specific actions etc.. that need to take place before and/ or after one marries as I cannot answer that since I’m not a Muslim.

So, one of my prayers to GOD is that He shows me the right way and shows me how to worship him so that when my time comes I will be in his good grace.

Wow, so nice to hear from you. Are u a practicing Christian or not too much as your husband?
Its nice with stories like this, I wish you a good life together.
We have discussed things through and well, we are on the same level in almost all things except the wedding... hmm... well well.
Thank you for your reply.
God bless you.

 

[yasmineSwe]

Jesus is not son of God,who is that the father of God? Who is the mother of God then?
What do you know about mother mary? As what you had told us that youre religious christians.
Maybe we dont know what is your beliefs,as what we beliefs Islam.

Is there something that were arent notice in christian protestants? At least u share something to us.

bye

Another rude person on TTI, I am not going to lower my levels to yours so take your rude comments to someone else, I will pray for you because those who dont respect others, I feel very sorry for.

 

[junaid hasan]

Ok, Im a Lutheran Christian, not interested in converting to Islam or anything.

I think sister yesminswe allready cleared her intention.

she is here may be just for her husband to know how she can behave correctly her husband´s relegion.

But why we are busy to teach her about islam or asking questions about christianity.

I think she knows better and she is a educated person.

And not to disturb her she cleared what she wants and what not.
I feel very sorry sister if someonw behave bad with your feelings or made mistakes by respect your religion.