Isn't Islam always 1st

[slaveofAllah88]

:salam2:
JazakAllah khair Im back ALhumdulilah i missed everyone here lol i know im asking a question as soon as i got back
i wrote a thank you post if u do get the time read it cuz i think everyone single person here deserves a big thank you

http://www.turntoislam.com/forum/showpost.php?p=336879&postcount=25

OK my question is regarding Islam Vs Parents, today after spending the whole day in univ (about 12 hours) i came home very tired, as soon as i sat down, my dad started getting mad at me that im still growing beard, i told u dad its fard for men to have a beard and he literally snapped at me he like attacked me and screamed that where is it fard is it in the Quran?
i explained to him its not in Quran but its fard for men by hadith, and he wont listen and wont stop shouting at me , i really tried to explain but he said that I must always Obey parents thats compulsary, and i said I cant at this matter cuz Islam is before parents and my religion says i have to do this .... anywayz long story short, he screamed at me the whole time, its like he wanted to hit me, and wont listen to any of my explanation, I tried him very politely really controlling my anger and then i just kept quiet and let him scream and i ate a lil bit and i went up to room.

Now there are so many matters like this that people tell me I MUST OBEY MY PARENTS, I dont understand I thought u always FOllow Islam first, When islam gives u clear cut guidelines on things and if ur parents tell u to go against it Shouldn't u not agree with ur parents???
LIke i dont understand people are telling me no parents are right, parents are right, BUT they disagree with what Islam, I thought Islam is above all?
then what about non-muslim parents of reverts they tell their kids not follow Islam, then HOW can we say parents are right?

Im not saying that i disobey parents in every matter, but some matter where i feel like they are basing their decision on duniya (worldly) matters i refuse them, isn't that good for them too cuz im saving them from commiting the sin ??

Also, while searching for fatwa regarding disobeying parents i found a fatwa regarding marriage

http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/...h-Ask_Scholar/FatwaE/FatwaE&cid=1233567776152

First of all, if you truly believe that this girl can be a good Muslim wife, then you have to do your best in convincing your parents that you have a genuine desire to marry her. However, if your parents insist on their refusal without valid reasons, then you have the right to go on and marry this girl.

main part i posted above, the scholar cleary says that i can go against my parents will,
Please help me im really confuse CUZ i try to follow Islam but my parents tell me NO ISLAM says to always obey them, and they say im a bad guy by disobeying them ?

JazakAllah Khair

 

[slaveofAllah88]

You need to prioritize. First, you need to prove that wearing a beard is mandatory for Muslim men. If this can be proven, present the proof to your dad. If he still insists, you have to do what's mandated, so just bear the shouting and pray that your dad will one day understand or tolerate it.

On the other hand, if it's not mandatory then it takes a backseat to obeying your parents, which is mandatory!

So, let's examine the issue: What is the proof that wearing a beard is mandatory for Muslim men? Most of the evidence I've seen points to this hadeeth, "Let your beards grow and trim your mustaches. Look different than the magi."

In the science of Usool-ul-Fiqh (Foundations of Deduction), there is an established rule that states that once the cause of a ruling is no longer valid, the ruling is no longer valid as well. Based on that, you can see that the prophet (pbuh) wanted Muslims to look different than the followers of other religions. Aside from the fact that there are practically no magi left today (unless you consider Zoroastrians magi), there is no one style for facial hair that is followed by all the followers of any of the world's religions. Many Jews, Christians, and others grow their beards long nowadays, so Muslims growing their beards no longer look different.

More importantly is that the hadeeth does not have what the scholars call a mandate phrase. The prophet, for example, did not say that not growing a beard will incur God's wrath. His command therefore makes growing a beard a Sunna, not a fardh. There are really very few things in Islam that are mandatory, but people like to add a lot to the list without strong evidence.

:salam2:
are you sure about the answer brother , from the Bukhari the hadith actually says be different from the Pagans there are still pagans in the world

Ibn Umar said, The Prophet said, 'Do the opposite of what the pagans do. Keep the beards and cut the moustaches short.'

im sorry when i asked about beard here everyone said its fard, i listened to scholar lecture and they all said beard is fard

 

[Hard Rock Moslem]

What I was told it is only a sunnah to grow beard and trim mustaches. But sorry, I do not have any reference yet. Just to inform this is what I learned in my Figh classes.

 

[slaveofAllah88]

What I was told it is only a sunnah to grow beard and trim mustaches. But sorry, I do not have any reference yet. Just to inform this is what I learned in my Figh classes.

:salam2:

OK SERIOUSLY!! , i read books and listend to scholars they all said for men its a must thing, NOw everyone is saying its Sunnah

 

[Hard Rock Moslem]

Narrated Abu Huraira r.a:

Allah's Apostle said, "The Jews and the Christians do not dye (their grey hair), so you shall do the opposite of what they do (i.e. dye your grey hair and beards)."


Narrated Nafi r.a.:

Ibn Umar said, The Prophet said, 'Do the opposite of what the pagans do. Keep the beards and cut the moustaches short.' Whenever Ibn 'Umar performed the Hajj or 'Umra, he used to hold his beard with his hand and cut whatever moustaches. Ibn Umar used to cut his moustache so short that the whiteness of his skin (above the upper lip) was visible, and he used to cut (the hair) between his moustaches and his beard.

Narrated Ibn Umar r.a;

Allah's Apostle said, "Cut the moustaches short and leave the beard (as it is)."

Now this is worry me;


Narrated Abu Sa'id Al-Khudri r.a:

The Prophet said, "There will emerge from the East some people who will recite the Qur'an but it will not exceed their throats and who will go out of (renounce) the religion (Islam) as an arrow passes through the game, and they will never come back to it unless the arrow, comes back to the middle of the bow (by itself) (i.e., impossible). The people asked, "What will their signs be?" He said, "Their sign will be the habit of shaving (of their beards). (Fateh Al-Bari, Page 322, Vol. 17th)

Now I'm getting worried, is there any fatwa?

 

[slaveofAllah88]

aslam alikum brother i have read those hadith but now the question in my mind is I have been trying to convince my parents that beard is MUST for a muslim man, as told to me by everyone here before, thats why i decided to have it , also Dr Zakir Naik said this and then the book i read about beard said it too also hadith say that we should do that?
but should i listen to my parents then since its not must??

 

[Hard Rock Moslem]

In this case, you shall refer brother Ayman's reply. Once it is establish growing beard is a must for men then you may politely tell your parents you have to respectfully disobey them.

But you know what? I always trimmed my beard therefore I have to run and start nagging my sheikh and ask him to explain about the hukum. I don't want to commit a sin because all the while I was told it is sunnah.

 

[slaveofAllah88]

aslam o alikum,

So i guess its better for me to listen to my parents and just shave my beard?

 

[slaveofAllah88]

That certainly is reason for worry if one does shave his beard. But what is the authenticity of this hadeeth? And a more important question to ask is "Can we conclude from it that shaving beards is forbidden?" All we can say is that the people referred to have three things in common: They come from the East, their faith is shaky at best and they shave their beards. We cannot conclude that their shaving their beards is what caused their shaky faith! Why would that be? What is so special about beards?

That's not to say that growing a beard is bad. It's a Sunna, therefore it's good. Those who want to do everything the prophet did will want to grow their beards. Others may feel differently.

God knows best.

:salam2:
thats an authentic hadith brohter he is the hadith from Bukhari

Bukhari :: Book 9 :: Volume 93 :: Hadith 651
Narrated Abu Sa'id Al-Khudri:

The Prophet said, "There will emerge from the East some people who will recite the Qur'an but it will not exceed their throats and who will go out of (renounce) the religion (Islam) as an arrow passes through the game, and they will never come back to it unless the arrow, comes back to the middle of the bow (by itself) (i.e., impossible). The people asked, "What will their signs be?" He said, "Their sign will be the habit of shaving (of their beards). (Fateh Al-Bari, Page 322, Vol. 17th)

 

[Hard Rock Moslem]

Sahih Bukhari brother Ayman.

 

[Qur'an&Sunnah]

:salam2:

Everytime it seems I have to give naseeha I lose it, my mind goes blank and everything flys away. InshaAllah I'll try and give you what I have:

In Surah Ankabut, Ayah 8 Allah azza wa jal says:

And We have enjoined upon man goodness to parents. But if they endeavor to make you associatewith Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them. To Me is your return, and I will inform you about what you used to do.

Tafsir Ibn Kathir:

The Command to be Good and Dutiful to Parents


Allah commands His servants to be dutiful to parents, after urging them to adhere to belief in His Tawhid, because a person's parents are the cause of his existence. So he must treat them with the utmost kindness and respect, his father for spending on him and his mother because of her compassion for him. Allah says:


[وَقَضَى رَبُّكَ أَلاَّ تَعْبُدُواْ إِلاَّ إِيَّـهُ وَبِالْوَلِدَيْنِ إِحْسَـناً إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلاَهُمَا فَلاَ تَقُل لَّهُمَآ أُفٍّ وَلاَ تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوْلاً كَرِيمًا - وَاخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحْمَةِ وَقُل رَّبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِى صَغِيرًا ]


(And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them, but address them in terms of honor. And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: "My Lord! Bestow on them Your mercy as they did bring me up when I was young.'') (17:23-24) Although Allah orders us to show kindness, mercy and respect towards them in return for their previous kindness, He says:


[وَإِن جَـهَدَاكَ لِتُشْرِكَ بِى مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِ عِلْمٌ فَلاَ تُطِعْهُمَآ]


(but if they strive to make associate with Me, which you have no knowledge of, then obey them not.) meaning, if they are idolators, and they try to make you follow them in their religion, then beware of them, and do not obey them in that, for you will be brought back to Me on the Day of Resurrection, and Allah will reward you for your kindness towards them and your patience in adhering to your religion. It is Allah Who will gather you with the group of the righteous, not with the group of your parents, even though you were the closest of people to them in the world. For a person will be gathered on the Day of Resurrection with those whom he loves, meaning, religious love. Allah says:


[وَالَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ وَعَمِلُواْ الصَّـلِحَـتِ لَنُدْخِلَنَّهُمْ فِى الصَّـلِحِينَ ]


(And for those who believe and do righteous good deeds, surely, We shall make them enter with the righteous.) In his Tafsir of this Ayah, At-Tirmidhi recorded that Sa`d said: "Four Ayat were revealed concerning me -- and he told his story. He said: "Umm Sa`d said: `Did Allah not command you to honor your parents By Allah, I will not eat or drink anything until I die or you renounce Islam.' When they wanted to feed her, they would force her mouth open. Then this Ayah was revealed:


[وَوَصَّيْنَا الإِنْسَـنَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ حُسْناً وَإِن جَـهَدَاكَ لِتُشْرِكَ بِى مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِ عِلْمٌ فَلاَ تُطِعْهُمَآ]


(And We have enjoined on man to be dutiful to his parents; but if they strive to make you associate with Me, of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not.)'' This Hadith was also recorded by Imam Ahmad, Muslim, Abu Dawud and An-Nasa'i. At-Tirmidhi said, "Hasan Sahih.

This is the Tafsir for Surah Luqman Ayah 15:

(And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents) (17:23). These two things are often mentioned together in the Qur'an. Allah says here:


[وَوَصَّيْنَا الإِنْسَـنَ بِوَلِدَيْهِ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُ وَهْناً عَلَى وَهْنٍ]


(And We have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship,) Mujahid said: "The hardship of bearing the child.'' Qatadah said: "Exhaustion upon exhaustion.'' `Ata' Al-Khurasani said: "Weakness upon weakness.''


[وَفِصَالُهُ فِى عَامَيْنِ]


(and his weaning is in two years) means, after he is born, he is breastfed and weaned within two years. This is like the Ayah,


[وَالْوَلِدَتُ يُرْضِعْنَ أَوْلَـدَهُنَّ حَوْلَيْنِ كَامِلَيْنِ لِمَنْ أَرَادَ أَن يُتِمَّ الرَّضَاعَةَ]


(The mothers shall give suck to their children for two whole years, for those who desire to complete the term of suckling)(2:233). On this basis, Ibn `Abbas and other Imams understood that the shortest possible period of pregnancy was six months, because Allah says elsewhere:


[وَحَمْلُهُ وَفِصَـلُهُ ثَلاَثُونَ شَهْراً]


(and the bearing of him, and the weaning of him is thirty months) (46:15). Allah mentions how the mother brings the child up, and how she gets tired and suffers stress from staying up with the child night and day, to remind the son of her previous kind treatment of him. This is like the Ayah,


[وَقُل رَّبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِى صَغِيرًا]


(and say: "My Lord! Bestow on them Your mercy as they did bring me up when I was young.'') (17:24). Allah says here:


[أَنِ اشْكُرْ لِى وَلِوَلِدَيْكَ إِلَىَّ الْمَصِيرُ]


(give thanks to Me and to your parents. Unto Me is the final destination.) means, `I will reward you most generously for that.'


[وَإِن جَـهَدَاكَ عَلَى أَن تُشْرِكَ بِى مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِ عِلْمٌ فَلاَ تُطِعْهُمَا]


(But if they strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not means, if they try hard to make you follow them in their religion, then do not accept that from them, but do not let that stop you from behaving with them in the world kindly, i.e. treating them with respect.


[وَاتَّبِعْ سَبِيلَ مَنْ أَنَابَ إِلَىَّ]


(and follow the path of him who turns to Me in repentance and in obedience.) means, the believers.


[ثُمَّ إِلَىَّ مَرْجِعُكُمْ فَأُنَبِّئُكُمْ بِمَا كُنتُمْ تَعْمَلُونَ]


(Then to Me will be your return, and I shall tell you what you used to do.) At-Tabarani recorded in Al-`Ishrah that Sa`d bin Malik said, "This Ayah,


[وَإِن جَـهَدَاكَ عَلَى أَن تُشْرِكَ بِى مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِ عِلْمٌ فَلاَ تُطِعْهُمَا]


(But if they strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not was revealed concerning me. I was a man who honored his mother, but when I became Muslim, she said: `O Sa`d! What is this new thing I see you doing Leave this religion of yours, or I will not eat or drink until I die, and people will say: Shame on you, for what you have done to me, and they will say that you have killed your mother.' I said, `Do not do that, O mother, for I will not give up this religion of mine for anything.' She stayed without eating for one day and one night, and she became exhausted; then she stayed for another day and night without eating, and she became utterly exhausted. When I saw that, I said: `O my mother, by Allah, even if you had one hundred souls and they were to depart one by one, I would not give up this religion of mine for anything, so if you want to, eat, and if you want to, do not eat.' So she ate.''
It is not for a believing man or a believing woman, when Allah and His Messenger have decided a matter that they should [thereafter] have any choice about their affair. And whoever disobeys Allah and His Messenger has certainly strayed into clear error. (33:36)

Just remain steadfast, do not argue back, keep silent and may Allah help you. Ameen

:salam2:

EDIT: Please pardon the winks Astagfirullah I just copied and paste from Tafsir and I think the computer took some as winks. AsSalaamu Alaykum

And to add I think if we say "is it ok to cut our beards?", then that gives us way to say can we listen to music because the Messenger of Allah (SAW) also said that musical instruments are haraam, so I suggest we don't do this. We have to take what the Messenger of Allah (SAW) says. If he says that men should not cut there beards and trim their moustaches then this is what Muslim men should do because it is better for them.

 

[~Ali_]

Assalamualaikum brother, why would your parents want you to cut your beard? even if it was fardh or sunnah????

 

[slaveofAllah88]

Assalamualaikum brother, why would your parents want you to cut your beard? even if it was fardh or sunnah????

:salam2:
cuz they say its dangerous to have it in the society i live in where there are barely any muslim and some people are really hostile towards them
they are right to some degree

 

[~Ali_]

hmm.. well just because your in danger doesnt mean you should stop doing the sunnah or fard - just move.

 

[Hard Rock Moslem]

This is unacceptable. Why then the society allows the jews rabbi walking on the street with even longer beard? Human rights should be applicable to all!!!!!

 

[slaveofAllah88]

This is unacceptable. Why then the society allows the jews rabbi walking on the street with even longer beard? Human rights should be applicable to all!!!!!

:salam2:
brother i dont think i need to explain to u how much human rights are given to muslim these days .... Palestine, Iraq, Afghanistan, Kashmir etc etc

~ ALi -- i cant move i go to univ here

 

[slaveofAllah88]

any other answers from the brother or sisters
JazakAllah

 

[abulzan07]

:salam2:
shaheer bhai very happy to see you back bhai.......talking about beard issue its sunnate moqtada and its sunnah if u dont do it you will be punished and asked on day of judgement and its very close to fard.Whatever our beloved prophet saw said he dont say from his own judgement he say what Allah order him to say through jibreil as so i belive beard is must for men and i consider its like we had hijab fr sister ......Talking about family issue i thnk i wen i have beard my family was ok but have seen parents getting mad tel them straightforward that i am first answerable to Allah swt and m his creation will do whatever he say and he his first right on my life then its parents......so everytime we have clash between our parents view and Islam we have to choose islam irrespective of what our parents say cos everyone have to answer for himslf on day of judgement no parents will answer on behalf of kids no having beard or sister not wearing hijab so its between you and Allah........Just remember one thing bhai how we gonna show our face to the prophet saw on days of judgement when he will see our face he will say is this my ummah??? and where is your beard???

JazkahAllah Khayr

 

[slaveofAllah88]

:salam2:
shaheer bhai very happy to see you back bhai.......talking about beard issue its sunnate moqtada and its sunnah if u dont do it you will be punished and asked on day of judgement and its very close to fard.Whatever our beloved prophet saw said he dont say from his own judgement he say what Allah order him to say through jibreil as so i belive beard is must for men and i consider its like we had hijab fr sister ......Talking about family issue i thnk i wen i have beard my family was ok but have seen parents getting mad tel them straightforward that i am first answerable to Allah swt and m his creation will do whatever he say and he his first right on my life then its parents......so everytime we have clash between our parents view and Islam we have to choose islam irrespective of what our parents say cos everyone have to answer for himslf on day of judgement no parents will answer on behalf of kids no having beard or sister not wearing hijab so its between you and Allah........Just remember one thing bhai how we gonna show our face to the prophet saw on days of judgement when he will see our face he will say is this my ummah??? and where is your beard???

JazkahAllah Khayr

:salam2:
JazakAllah khair my brother, thank you so much for that beautiful answer thts wat i thought and mashallah u answered it very well and precisely
Thank you inshallah i will keep on trying to convince them and keep my beard Inshallah

 

[mhamzah]

:salam2:
JazakAllah khair my brother, thank you so much for that beautiful answer thts wat i thought and mashallah u answered it very well and precisely
Thank you inshallah i will keep on trying to convince them and keep my beard Inshallah

:salam2:

Welcome back,

May Allah swt make things easy for you.