Isn't Islam always 1st

[thariq2005]

As salamu alaikkum, Ok I just edited my original reply after reading all the other replies. Where are people getting the fact that the beard is not Fardh???? Oh brothers and sisters, if your not scholars then it is better for all of you to not give rulings. Oh muslims leave Islam as it came to us. Allah says that that He perfected our religion for us, so who are we to change it. Are we more knowledgeable than the prophet of Allah salallahu alaihi wa salam??? If it was for the fact that there are no more magi left, then would he salallahu alaihi wa salam not tell us to shave it off in the future. We muslims are not modernists, we are people of the Sunnah. It is as simple as ABC, we hear and obey, we hear and obey, we hear and obey... Simple and these are the characteristics of the people of Jannah. Brothers and sisters really do not let Islam get out of Hand. Yes it is fardh listening to your parents but Prophet Muhammed salallahu alaihi wa salam said "There is no obedience to any created being (person) if it involves disobedience to the Creator." Yes Allah T'ala says about obeying your parents but He subhana wa t'ala also says “He who obeys the Messenger has indeed obeyed Allaah . . .” [al-Nisaa’ 4:80] "

So when Prophet Muhammed salallahu alaihi wa salam commands us to do something, then we have to do it. And the hadith that people are referring to about the ones who recite Quran but does not go down the throat, that is referring to the Khawarij, these people are declared Kuffar. Ali (ra) fought them and killed them as well. Brother Shaheer, alhamdulillah what your doing is right and stick to it. All the ulema have said that Shaving the beard is HARAM, H-A-R-A-M!!! If there is something your doing to obey your parents that by you doing it will be against the sunnah yet permissible in islam (for example sleeping on your left side rather than the right like the Prophet Muhammed salallahu alaihi wa salam) then you can say its allowed. And I do not say that, the scholars do... http://www.islamqa.com/en/ref/12199/sunnah parents

Since its clear that shaving the beard is Haram since its against the command of our beloved Prophet Muhammed salallahu alaihi wa salam, it is better that you grow it and not listen to your parents, however do try telling them nicely how it is fardh.

Ask your father a few simple questions (these are the questions I used for myself and worked alhamdulillah), ask him "Father would you come and lie down with me in my grave, or can you guarantee me that you will intercede for me on the day of judgment?? You and I know you wont or cannot, is there anything apart from my good deeds that will come with me to my grave? How can i not follow the command of the Rasool of Allah salallahu alaihi wa salam knowing that he will be the only one able to interceed for me on the Day of Judgment? How can I disobey the Rasool of Allah salallahu alaihi wa salam knowing that is disobeying Allah *referring to the verse and hadith*??"


ORIGINAL MESSAGE POSTED BEFORE EDITING...

I don't know why but I lol'd at this for some time>> "then i just kept quiet and let him scream and i ate a lil bit and i went up to room."

Just picturing you eating while your dad is screaming, wow lol If it was me my dad will be like "Your eating while i am angry *SLAP*". It is better for you that you die a death where your parents are pleased with than a death where they are displeased with you. So try convincing them. But Inshallah your going at the right direction Alhamdulillah.

P.S Do watch your head when your eating while your dad screams ( If your asian )

Wa alaikkumus salam wa rahmathullah

 

[IslamicGirl24]

Assalamu alaykum.
I think that you are not doing anything wrong by disobeying to what your father has to say in this matter. Tell your father that it is absolutely haram to shave the beard and that you won't listen to him in this matter.

Lolz! You have a mighty level of patience..!
My brother has the same problems with my mum... she has been telling him to sahve his beard for many months and all he says now infront of her is "hmmm", "ok", "yeah"..."sure".. Poor him!!

I hope that your father doesn't remain angry...

 

[a_muslimah86]

I have the same problem..but with hijab (it's still ongoing too)...my mother *cried* when I wore hijab the first day..imagine the rest of the mess!

Anyway..

I have found from experience that the best thing to do is..let your parents yell..comment..and yell and comment some more..without you even making the slightest response..literally sit there and let them say EVERYTHING THEY HAVE TO SAY..and then say *are you done?* when they say *yes*..say *pardon me I have to go be alone* and go to your room or go outside or something..eventually they'll just leave you alone because *they* will get tired

I do not mean to depress you or anything..but parents like yours and mine are STUBBORN (I could tell this about yours from the way the argument proceeded between you and your father)..and they feel THREATENED by the change you have made *on your own*..Eastern parents like to *dictate* the changes in the lives of their children..if one of them seems to swerve outside the lines they have painted *for all the family*..then they are viewed as a *threat*..if that is accompanied with lack of knowledge in deen or incorrect knowledge..then the gap widens..the ropes of communication get weaker..and problems pile up each and every day

The best thing you can do is..speak to your father..have a serious sit down talk with him..ask him to please not interrupt you until you're done talking..and present your case..tell him everything you have found regarding the beard and what *you feel* about it..and then end the conversation by assuring him that you love him and that he has raised you in a way which will never disappoint him and he should be proud that the way he raised can very well be the contribution to you being so committed to your deen

If the arguments persist..and the comments keep coming your way..then give them that silence (like I mentioned)..because by *then* you would have clarified things and presented the proofs ALONG WITH sharing your feelings..and there isn't much you can do..the problem would lay with them *then*..not *you*

I do not know if this helped much..unfortunately I do not know much about the issue of the beard (keep in mind that it being a fardh or a sunnah can be a matter of *madhhab*)..but I thought I should help you with my experience though it's different in its fundamental reason..but it's the same in how it is affecting your life

 

[thariq2005]

As Salamu alaikkum Lol I love it when sister a_muslimah86 posts, she has this skill in highlighting that it will get in through your head mashallah. Just a thing I wanted to point out sister, is that all the four imams of all the four madhabs said it is wajib to keep a beard (Just thought I'd let u know )

Wa salamu alaikkum wa rahmathullah

 

[slaveofAllah88]

As salamu alaikkum, Ok I just edited my original reply after reading all the other replies. Where are people getting the fact that the beard is not Fardh???? Oh brothers and sisters, if your not scholars then it is better for all of you to not give rulings. Oh muslims leave Islam as it came to us. Allah says that that He perfected our religion for us, so who are we to change it. Are we more knowledgeable than the prophet of Allah salallahu alaihi wa salam??? If it was for the fact that there are no more magi left, then would he salallahu alaihi wa salam not tell us to shave it off in the future. We muslims are not modernists, we are people of the Sunnah. It is as simple as ABC, we hear and obey, we hear and obey, we hear and obey... Simple and these are the characteristics of the people of Jannah. Brothers and sisters really do not let Islam get out of Hand. Yes it is fardh listening to your parents but Prophet Muhammed salallahu alaihi wa salam said "There is no obedience to any created being (person) if it involves disobedience to the Creator." Yes Allah T'ala says about obeying your parents but He subhana wa t'ala also says “He who obeys the Messenger has indeed obeyed Allaah . . .” [al-Nisaa’ 4:80] "

So when Prophet Muhammed salallahu alaihi wa salam commands us to do something, then we have to do it. And the hadith that people are referring to about the ones who recite Quran but does not go down the throat, that is referring to the Khawarij, these people are declared Kuffar. Ali (ra) fought them and killed them as well. Brother Shaheer, alhamdulillah what your doing is right and stick to it. All the ulema have said that Shaving the beard is HARAM, H-A-R-A-M!!! If there is something your doing to obey your parents that by you doing it will be against the sunnah yet permissible in islam (for example sleeping on your left side rather than the right like the Prophet Muhammed salallahu alaihi wa salam) then you can say its allowed. And I do not say that, the scholars do... http://www.islamqa.com/en/ref/12199/sunnah parents

Since its clear that shaving the beard is Haram since its against the command of our beloved Prophet Muhammed salallahu alaihi wa salam, it is better that you grow it and not listen to your parents, however do try telling them nicely how it is fardh.

Ask your father a few simple questions (these are the questions I used for myself and worked alhamdulillah), ask him "Father would you come and lie down with me in my grave, or can you guarantee me that you will intercede for me on the day of judgment?? You and I know you wont or cannot, is there anything apart from my good deeds that will come with me to my grave? How can i not follow the command of the Rasool of Allah salallahu alaihi wa salam knowing that he will be the only one able to interceed for me on the Day of Judgment? How can I disobey the Rasool of Allah salallahu alaihi wa salam knowing that is disobeying Allah *referring to the verse and hadith*??"


ORIGINAL MESSAGE POSTED BEFORE EDITING...

I don't know why but I lol'd at this for some time>> "then i just kept quiet and let him scream and i ate a lil bit and i went up to room."

Just picturing you eating while your dad is screaming, wow lol If it was me my dad will be like "Your eating while i am angry *SLAP*". It is better for you that you die a death where your parents are pleased with than a death where they are displeased with you. So try convincing them. But Inshallah your going at the right direction Alhamdulillah.

P.S Do watch your head when your eating while your dad screams ( If your asian )

Wa alaikkumus salam wa rahmathullah

:salam2:
JazakAllah khair brother, Mashallah very knowledgable answer
I try my best to convince them Inshallah but read my further replies and i will explain what the problem is
Im pretty quick on my feet so i cud move out of the way, but i rather let him slap me release his anger so he can think clearly, No matter what i know im disobeying them but i am his son and he is a blessing from ALlah (swt).
May Allah (swt) keep them happy, pleased with me and bless them with Jannah - ameen.

 

[slaveofAllah88]

Assalamu alaykum.
I think that you are not doing anything wrong by disobeying to what your father has to say in this matter. Tell your father that it is absolutely haram to shave the beard and that you won't listen to him in this matter.

Lolz! You have a mighty level of patience..!
My brother has the same problems with my mum... she has been telling him to sahve his beard for many months and all he says now infront of her is "hmmm", "ok", "yeah"..."sure".. Poor him!!

I hope that your father doesn't remain angry...

:salam2:
INshallah sister i hope my father doesn't remain angry inshallah i will follow the right path and may Allah (swt) reward my parents for raising me in an environment and guiding me so that i can pick good from bad - ameen

 

[slaveofAllah88]

I have the same problem..but with hijab (it's still ongoing too)...my mother *cried* when I wore hijab the first day..imagine the rest of the mess!

Anyway..

I have found from experience that the best thing to do is..let your parents yell..comment..and yell and comment some more..without you even making the slightest response..literally sit there and let them say EVERYTHING THEY HAVE TO SAY..and then say *are you done?* when they say *yes*..say *pardon me I have to go be alone* and go to your room or go outside or something..eventually they'll just leave you alone because *they* will get tired

I do not mean to depress you or anything..but parents like yours and mine are STUBBORN (I could tell this about yours from the way the argument proceeded between you and your father)..and they feel THREATENED by the change you have made *on your own*..Eastern parents like to *dictate* the changes in the lives of their children..if one of them seems to swerve outside the lines they have painted *for all the family*..then they are viewed as a *threat*..if that is accompanied with lack of knowledge in deen or incorrect knowledge..then the gap widens..the ropes of communication get weaker..and problems pile up each and every day

The best thing you can do is..speak to your father..have a serious sit down talk with him..ask him to please not interrupt you until you're done talking..and present your case..tell him everything you have found regarding the beard and what *you feel* about it..and then end the conversation by assuring him that you love him and that he has raised you in a way which will never disappoint him and he should be proud that the way he raised can very well be the contribution to you being so committed to your deen

If the arguments persist..and the comments keep coming your way..then give them that silence (like I mentioned)..because by *then* you would have clarified things and presented the proofs ALONG WITH sharing your feelings..and there isn't much you can do..the problem would lay with them *then*..not *you*

I do not know if this helped much..unfortunately I do not know much about the issue of the beard (keep in mind that it being a fardh or a sunnah can be a matter of *madhhab*)..but I thought I should help you with my experience though it's different in its fundamental reason..but it's the same in how it is affecting your life

:salam2:
mashallah sister i literally feel so satisfied whenever i know u reply to one of my answers .... you are a true resource and blessing of Allah (swt) in this family of TTI.
may Allah (swt) always keep u under his wing and happy - ameen

JazakAllah khair for your reply, and i totally agree with you, i feel like everytime i try to do something the opposite of what my culture is doing or my parents THINK is right i feel alot of resistance from my parents like i cant do anything I have to follow the right path.

I will reply to more sister i gotto quickly head out
sorry
aslam o alikum

 

[a_muslimah86]

As Salamu alaikkum Lol I love it when sister a_muslimah86 posts, she has this skill in highlighting that it will get in through your head mashallah. Just a thing I wanted to point out sister, is that all the four imams of all the four madhabs said it is wajib to keep a beard (Just thought I'd let u know )

Wa salamu alaikkum wa rahmathullah

Jazaka Allah every khair in your dunya and your akhirah akhi..and sobhanallah I realized that I have let my gender become a reason for me not learning something in my deen..I will inshallah read more on the topic..I think it deserves me being at least being aware of *the basics* such as it being a *wajib*..baraka allaho feek for sharing your information akhi

 

[thariq2005]

:salam2:
JazakAllah khair brother, Mashallah very knowledgable answer
I try my best to convince them Inshallah but read my further replies and i will explain what the problem is
Im pretty quick on my feet so i cud move out of the way, but i rather let him slap me release his anger so he can think clearly, No matter what i know im disobeying them but i am his son and he is a blessing from ALlah (swt).
May Allah (swt) keep them happy, pleased with me and bless them with Jannah - ameen.

ameen. Not a problem do feel to explain your problems. I wish you lives around here so I could have helped out more Well move to london soon will u

 

[kashif_nazeer]

:salam2:
JazakAllah khair Im back ALhumdulilah i missed everyone here lol i know im asking a question as soon as i got back
i wrote a thank you post if u do get the time read it cuz i think everyone single person here deserves a big thank you

http://www.turntoislam.com/forum/showpost.php?p=336879&postcount=25

OK my question is regarding Islam Vs Parents, today after spending the whole day in univ (about 12 hours) i came home very tired, as soon as i sat down, my dad started getting mad at me that im still growing beard, i told u dad its fard for men to have a beard and he literally snapped at me he like attacked me and screamed that where is it fard is it in the Quran?
i explained to him its not in Quran but its fard for men by hadith, and he wont listen and wont stop shouting at me , i really tried to explain but he said that I must always Obey parents thats compulsary, and i said I cant at this matter cuz Islam is before parents and my religion says i have to do this .... anywayz long story short, he screamed at me the whole time, its like he wanted to hit me, and wont listen to any of my explanation, I tried him very politely really controlling my anger and then i just kept quiet and let him scream and i ate a lil bit and i went up to room.

Now there are so many matters like this that people tell me I MUST OBEY MY PARENTS, I dont understand I thought u always FOllow Islam first, When islam gives u clear cut guidelines on things and if ur parents tell u to go against it Shouldn't u not agree with ur parents???
LIke i dont understand people are telling me no parents are right, parents are right, BUT they disagree with what Islam, I thought Islam is above all?
then what about non-muslim parents of reverts they tell their kids not follow Islam, then HOW can we say parents are right?

Im not saying that i disobey parents in every matter, but some matter where i feel like they are basing their decision on duniya (worldly) matters i refuse them, isn't that good for them too cuz im saving them from commiting the sin ??

Also, while searching for fatwa regarding disobeying parents i found a fatwa regarding marriage

http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/...h-Ask_Scholar/FatwaE/FatwaE&cid=1233567776152



main part i posted above, the scholar cleary says that i can go against my parents will,
Please help me im really confuse CUZ i try to follow Islam but my parents tell me NO ISLAM says to always obey them, and they say im a bad guy by disobeying them ?

JazakAllah Khair

wa 'alykumassalaam warehmatullahi wabarakatuhu
First of all congrats on your return and your determination in following Islam barakallah feek
Next thing I faced a similar problem too,my parents also opposed me when I started growing beard.Somehow alhamdulillah the circumstances so took shape that my parents allowed me to keep beard alhamdulillah .Its still growing.
I would like to suggest that be determined and be polite to your parents.You know a few hours back I was reading this article on kalamullah.com that talked about parents(Though its my exam time lol).
I would post the whole article insh'allah along with the link and you be the judge.
May Allah soften the hearts of your parents and make your foot firm.
Ameen .
wassalamu 'alykum warehmatullahi wabarakatuhu.

Our Parents: Our Masters


In the Name of Allâh, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful


These are collected from as-Samarqandi’s ‘Tambih al-Ghafilin’ (p. 84-91):

From the chapter on the rights of the parents:

1 – Ibn ‘Abbas said:

“There is not a single believer who has two parents and wakes up while he is good to them except that Allah opens up for him two gates to Paradise, and if he makes one of them angry, Allah will not be Pleased with him until that parent becomes pleased with him again.” It was asked: “Even if that parent was oppressive and in the wrong?” It was replied: “Yes, even so. And he never wakes up while he is bad to them except that Allah opens up for him two gates to Hell.”

2 – as-Samarqandi said:

“If Allah – the Exalted – had not mentioned the position and sacredness of the parents in His Book, and did not admonish regarding it, then it would have been realized by simple logic. So, it is obligatory upon the one with logic and intelligence to realize their sacredness and to fulfill their rights. How is it, then, when Allah – the Exalted – has mentioned this in all of His Books: the Torah, the Gospels, the Psalms and the Qur’an, has commanded this in all of His Books, and revealed this to all of His Prophets and advised them regarding the honorable position of the parents and their rights, and has made His Pleasure dependent on their pleasure, and His Anger dependent on their anger?”

3 – Farqad as-Sabakhi said:

“I have read in many books that it is not for the son (or daughter) to speak in the presence of the parents except with their permission, or to walk in front of them, or to their right or left, unless they call him to walk next to them. Rather, he should walk behind them as a slave walks behind his master.”

4 – It was said by a group of the Tabi’in:

“Whoever supplicates for his parents five times in a day has fulfilled their rights, since Allah has Said: {“…to thank Me and your parents. To Me is the final return.”} [Luqman; 14], and you thank Allah – the Exalted – by praying five times in a day. Likewise, you would thank your parents by praying for them five times in a day.”

5 – It was said by a group of the Companions:

“To leave off praying for one’s parents results in a tight and constricted life for the son.”

And let’s not forget about the rights upon the parents:

6 – as-Samarqandi related that Abu Hafs al-Iskandrani – one of the scholars of Uzbekistan – said that a man came to him and said:

“My son hit me and hurt me!” The scholar said: “Glory be to Allah! A son hitting his father? Have you taught him manners and knowledge?” The man said: “No.” “Have you taught him the Qur’an?” The man replied: “No.” “So, what does he know how to do?” The man replied: “Farming.” “Do you know why he hit you?” The man replied: “No.” The scholar then said: “It might have been that when he woke up in the morning, he went to the fields, was riding on a donkey, had a stick between his hands, had a dog behind him, and did not have any knowledge of the Qur’an (because you failed to teach him any of it). So, he started singing, you came out to him at that moment, he thought you were a cow, and hit you with the stick. So, thank Allah that your skull was not fractured.”

7 – It was narrated by one of the early righteous people:

…that he would not order his son with something, and if he needed something, he would ask someone else for it. When he was asked about this, he said: “I fear that if I were to command my son with something that he wouldn’t be able to bear, he would not carry it out and would therefore be disobedient to me and would deserve Hell as a result, and I do not want to be the cause of my son burning in Hell.”

Courtesy of Iskandrani


And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be excellent to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them, but address them in terms of honour. And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: “My Lord! Bestow on them Your mercy as they did bring me up when I was young. (Isra 17:23-24)

http://www.kalamullah.com/family12.html

 

[thariq2005]

Jazaka Allah every khair in your dunya and your akhirah akhi..and sobhanallah I realized that I have let my gender become a reason for me not learning something in my deen..I will inshallah read more on the topic..I think it deserves me being at least being aware of *the basics* such as it being a *wajib*..baraka allaho feek for sharing your information akhi

Barakallah feekum ukthi. I myself lack a lot of basic knowledge, so do not worry your not alone Inshallah May Allah help us increase in knowledge, ameen.

 

[thariq2005]

A Sunna is an act which if you do it you will be rewarded and if you don't do it you will not be punished! The act which if you do it you will be rewarded and if you don't do it you will be punished is called Fardh. That's the definition in the science of Usool-ul-Fiqh (Foundations of Deduction). Thus by stating that the beard is a Sunna, we can conclude that not growing it is not cause for punishment.

Here are the definitions:
Fardh: Must do. If you do, you will be rewarded. If you don't, you will be punished.
Sunna: May do. If you do, you will be rewarded. If you don't, you will not be punished.
Mubaah: May do. If you do, you may or may not be rewarded. If you don't, you will not be punished.
Makrooh: Should not do. If you do, you will not be punished. If you don't, you will be rewarded.
Haraam: Must not do. If you do, you will be punished. If you don't you will be rewarded.

Dear brother I think we need to go the scholars...

Will a person who neglects the Sunnah be punished?
Alhamdulillah, All praise is due to Allah (swt), we ask his for His guidance and we seek refuge from the evil within ourselves.
As Allah (swt) said " Fas aluu ahla thekre in kuntum laa ta'lamuun". So my Question is:
1. Will Allah (swt) Punish Us if we leave the Sunnah of the Prophet (sallahu alaihi was salam)?
Note: Any kind of Sunnah whether it's shaving men's beard or not praying 2 raka'a befor fajar. Please repl to me soon.
Jazaka'allahu Khairan

Praise be to Allaah.

The word “Sunnah” has two meanings:

the path of guidance, which is the meaning in many ahaadeeth, such as the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “Whoever turns away from my Sunnah has nothing to do with me.”

What the scholars of usool and fiqh call “mustahabb (encouraged)”, which are deeds for which the one who does them will be rewarded, but the one who does not do them will not deserve to be punished for that. Examples include al-Sunan al-Rawaatib (Sunnah prayers which the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did regularly), Salaat al-Duhaa and so on.

Therefore, a person will not be punished for not doing things which are Sunnah in the second sense. With regard to the first definition, this is not the case, for these are divided into things which are obligatory (waajib) and things which are supererogatory (naafil).

Sunnat al-Fajr and al-Witr are Sunnah Mu’akkadah, prayer which the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) never omitted to do, whether he was travelling or not.

Letting the beard grow is an obligation (waajib); it does not come under the category of Sunnah as defined by the fuqahaa’. Whoever shaves his beard is imitating the Majoos (Zoroastrians), going against the Fitrah (natural disposition of man), and changing the creation of Allaah.

The one who neglects an act that is an obligatory Sunnah will be punished; the one who neglects a mustahabb Sunnah will not be punished, but he is missing out on a great reward and the chance to make up any shortfall in his obligations (waajibaat), because on the Day of Resurrection, any shortfall in his obligations will be made up from his Sunnah actions, if he has any to his credit. Doing Sunnah actions is also a means of maintaining the practice of waajib actions.

The scholars also use the word “Sunnah” in contrast to bid’ah (reprehensible innovation) and say “Ahl al-Sunnah” (the people or followers of Sunnah) to distinguish them from the followers of misguided kaafir sects such as the Jahamiyyah, or innovators who are not kaafirs, such as the Ash’aris and others. The Sunnah in this sense has to be followed. Following the way of Ahl al-Sunnah is obligatory, and whoever departs from their way is doomed. Imaam Maalik (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: the Sunnah is like the ship of Nooh: whoever boards it will be saved and whoever stays behind will be drowned.

For more information, please see Question #1189; for the ruling on shaving the beard, please see Questions # 3440 and #604.

And Allaah knows best.

 

[Abdul Hasib]

You need to prioritize. First, you need to prove that wearing a beard is mandatory for Muslim men. If this can be proven, present the proof to your dad. If he still insists, you have to do what's mandated, so just bear the shouting and pray that your dad will one day understand or tolerate it.

On the other hand, if it's not mandatory then it takes a backseat to obeying your parents, which is mandatory!

So, let's examine the issue: What is the proof that wearing a beard is mandatory for Muslim men? Most of the evidence I've seen points to this hadeeth, "Let your beards grow and trim your mustaches. Look different than the magi."

In the science of Usool-ul-Fiqh (Foundations of Deduction), there is an established rule that states that once the cause of a ruling is no longer valid, the ruling is no longer valid as well. Based on that, you can see that the prophet (pbuh) wanted Muslims to look different than the followers of other religions. Aside from the fact that there are practically no magi left today (unless you consider Zoroastrians magi), there is no one style for facial hair that is followed by all the followers of any of the world's religions. Many Jews, Christians, and others grow their beards long nowadays, so Muslims growing their beards no longer look different.

More importantly is that the hadeeth does not have what the scholars call a mandate phrase. The prophet, for example, did not say that not growing a beard will incur God's wrath. His command therefore makes growing a beard a Sunna, not a fardh. There are really very few things in Islam that are mandatory, but people like to add a lot to the list without strong evidence.

:salam2:

Well brother, on that instance, Rasulallah (SAW) also said in the Hadeeths from Sahih al Bukhari and Saheeh Muslim that, "Trim your mostaches, and let your beard grow. Do NOT be like the Non Muslims."

THAT being said, like what you said, Jews, Christians, Hindus, and so forth grow beards too, but they also grow long moustaches, OR they actually TRIM their beards, and don't get me wrong, I've seen MANY Jews (the Rabbis) that trim their beards a fist length around the face, so in order to be DIFFERANT from the Non Muslims, we need to: 1.) Grow our beards at LEAST up to the bottom of our necks, and 2.) Trim our Moustaches also!


Shaheer Bhai, I'll get to you later, gotta go right now.

:salam2:

 

[slaveofAllah88]

I have the same problem..but with hijab (it's still ongoing too)...my mother *cried* when I wore hijab the first day..imagine the rest of the mess!

Anyway..

I have found from experience that the best thing to do is..let your parents yell..comment..and yell and comment some more..without you even making the slightest response..literally sit there and let them say EVERYTHING THEY HAVE TO SAY..and then say *are you done?* when they say *yes*..say *pardon me I have to go be alone* and go to your room or go outside or something..eventually they'll just leave you alone because *they* will get tired

I do not mean to depress you or anything..but parents like yours and mine are STUBBORN (I could tell this about yours from the way the argument proceeded between you and your father)..and they feel THREATENED by the change you have made *on your own*..Eastern parents like to *dictate* the changes in the lives of their children..if one of them seems to swerve outside the lines they have painted *for all the family*..then they are viewed as a *threat*..if that is accompanied with lack of knowledge in deen or incorrect knowledge..then the gap widens..the ropes of communication get weaker..and problems pile up each and every day

The best thing you can do is..speak to your father..have a serious sit down talk with him..ask him to please not interrupt you until you're done talking..and present your case..tell him everything you have found regarding the beard and what *you feel* about it..and then end the conversation by assuring him that you love him and that he has raised you in a way which will never disappoint him and he should be proud that the way he raised can very well be the contribution to you being so committed to your deen

If the arguments persist..and the comments keep coming your way..then give them that silence (like I mentioned)..because by *then* you would have clarified things and presented the proofs ALONG WITH sharing your feelings..and there isn't much you can do..the problem would lay with them *then*..not *you*

I do not know if this helped much..unfortunately I do not know much about the issue of the beard (keep in mind that it being a fardh or a sunnah can be a matter of *madhhab*)..but I thought I should help you with my experience though it's different in its fundamental reason..but it's the same in how it is affecting your life

:salam2:
sister just wanted to answer that part
I personally believe the same thing i would like it if my parents sat down with me told me their concerns and reasons WHY whats wrong and what is their reason?
I would like that very much and give me a chance to speak then I try my best to never talk without proof, i know the hadith, i got the books too and fatwas on the matter im talking like give me a chance to speak.

But my dad in the past too everytime I have tried to say anything, as soon as i disagree with what he said HE LITERALLY starts screaming at me like he doesn't give me a chance at all, he literally has no respect for me, Like i dont just want to bad mouth my dad too much but in one sentence, HE never listens to me on anything
ex.
4 years back, a big decision came in life and he wanted me to do the opposite of wat i was planning and i asked him the reason and he would always force me to obey what he is saying, so after me ignoring wat he was saying for a while, he basically cornered me started forcing me and i tried to reason with him, I remember he screamed at me the whole time, and even thou i was trying to be nice I ended up getting mad too LIke i still feel so bad about it but literally it was an hour and he kept on screaming at me and telling me that im dead to him never to speak to him like OMG!!! i could belive him, I tried to leave but he wont leave me alone and i got mad too and we had an arguement then i left and i started praying and he told the whole family if anyone talks to me they are dead to him too
I apologized to him the next day but he wont listen and kept on saying unless i agree with him he wont talk, No one talked to me for a month, and he would always get mad at me, i was kicked out the house many times. then finally Finally he went like watever and said alot of mean things too but i was like watever too

BUT now everyoen is thinking im the bad guy, cuz i shud have just listened to him NO NEVER, he wanted me to take the easy way of doing something but that invovled bribery or using wrong ways to get it DONE, LIKE NEVER cuz im not sure but i read it somewhere that the one who bribes and the one who takes it they both are jahami ( dwellers of hell) please correct me if im wrong

So see there is situation im already worried wat he is going to do when i tell him im not marrying my cuzin i already told my mom she took a month to angry for him its going to take a life time, I want to do the right thing not what my parents think but i always try my best to make sure they understand Inshallah.

Remember me in ur prayers brothers and sister - ameen

 

[Muslim18]

:salam2:

Brother dont shave the beard for it is what the beloved prophet did and he has commanded that the men leave their beards to grow in several hadiths, just keep in mind that you have to obey Allah first and his prophet before your parents. heres a great lecture on it please listen to it sorry i can't embed it but heres the link.....i think its only 3 parts.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=brH5OGkOctw

 

[a_muslimah86]

A Sunna is an act which if you do it you will be rewarded and if you don't do it you will not be punished! The act which if you do it you will be rewarded and if you don't do it you will be punished is called Fardh. That's the definition in the science of Usool-ul-Fiqh (Foundations of Deduction). Thus by stating that the beard is a Sunna, we can conclude that not growing it is not cause for punishment.

Here are the definitions:
Fardh: Must do. If you do, you will be rewarded. If you don't, you will be punished.
Sunna: May do. If you do, you will be rewarded. If you don't, you will not be punished.
Mubaah: May do. If you do, you may or may not be rewarded. If you don't, you will not be punished.
Makrooh: Should not do. If you do, you will not be punished. If you don't, you will be rewarded.
Haraam: Must not do. If you do, you will be punished. If you don't you will be rewarded.

Akhi your definitions though correct and nicely summarized they are also quite general..as there are *types of Sunnan* (Sunnan = plural for Sunnah for those who may not know the word already)..There is:

1. Mubaahaat (allowed deeds/actions) & makroohaat (disliked deeds/actions) fall under these types along with *mostahabbaat* (liked deeds/actions) which are "sub-typed" (for lack of a better description) into *mostahabbat: akeeda (confirmed), ratiba (organized, timed, habituated), and 'aadiyya* (usual or common)

2. furthermore there are *Sunnan Ratiba*..*Sunnan Taarea'a* and the latter branches out into *Sunnan Kamaliyya* and *Sunnan Naqisa*...

3. ALL OF THESE are CATEGORIZED for *further* SPECIFICATION into *Sunnan Qawliyya* (regarding morning & evening rememberance, tasbeeh, istighfar, etc.)..*Sunnan 'Amaliyya* (regarding voluntariy worship, actions, manners, behaviors, prayer, fasting, etc.)..and *Sunnan E'etiqadiyya* (regarding aqeedah, faith, Qura'an, etc.)

I thought I'd mention the above speficifications because to take a hadith and *generalize* its nature is to practically making a personal interpertation of its words when one is to read a hadith of the nature quoted (below) one needs to go back to the categories and types listed above and refer to them..and surely *a scholar* would further confirm or dismiss the verdict or interpretation one may have drawn from the hadith..Hence the hadiths regarding the beard would include a *wajib* because they state so in how they are worded and the *command* in which they contain..examples:

Ibn Umar said, The Prophet said, 'Do the opposite of what the mushrikeen do. Spare the beards and cut the moustaches short.' [Bukhari]

In other narrations:

Ibn Umar said: The Apostle of Allah (may peace be upon him) said: Trim closely the moustache, and let the beard grow. [Muslim]

And

Narrated Ibn 'Umar: Allah's Apostle said, "Cut the moustaches short and leave the beard (as it is)." [Bukhari]

And

Ibn Umar said: The Messenger of Allah (may peace be opon him) said: Act against the polytheists, trim closely the moustache and grow the beard.
[Muslim]

When reading these hadiths in Arabic..the words:

1. *وفروا* or *waffirroo* (which comes from the word *tawfeer* which means to *save* or to keep *abundant*)..

2. *أنهكوا* or *anhikoo* (which means to leave or spare)..

3. *أعفوا* or *'ae'effoo* (which also means to *let be* or *leave as it is*)

Also in a hadith that is not *specific to the beard* but speaks of actions relating to *fitra* we have Rasulullah (saaws) saying in a hadith:

'A'isha reported: The Messenger of Allah (may peace be npon him) said: Ten are the acts according to fitra: clipping the moustache, letting the beard grow, using the tooth-stick, snuffing water in the nose, cutting the nails, washing the finger joints, plucking the hair under the armpits, shaving the pubes and cleaning one's private parts with water. The narrator said: I have forgotten the tenth, but it may have been rinsing the mouth. [Muslim]

Though I am a woman and this is obviously not my domain but after reading the hadiths above I come to the conclusion that a beard is a must for a Muslim man..I think any other explanation would be an attempt to staple a loophole to an apparent *duty*...

Also..as I think..scholars such as Shaikh Al-Islam Ibn Taymiyyah (ra)..Al-Qurtubi..and Ibn Hazm..would not say something is *fardh wajib* and deem NOT DOING IT *haram* or *unallowed*..unless they are sure of it..because I am sure they will be the ones *most* knowledgeable of The Science of Hadith and its branches..

and Allah surely Knows best!

 

[a_muslimah86]

:salam2:
sister just wanted to answer that part
I personally believe the same thing i would like it if my parents sat down with me told me their concerns and reasons WHY whats wrong and what is their reason?
I would like that very much and give me a chance to speak then I try my best to never talk without proof, i know the hadith, i got the books too and fatwas on the matter im talking like give me a chance to speak.

But my dad in the past too everytime I have tried to say anything, as soon as i disagree with what he said HE LITERALLY starts screaming at me like he doesn't give me a chance at all, he literally has no respect for me, Like i dont just want to bad mouth my dad too much but in one sentence, HE never listens to me on anything
ex.
4 years back, a big decision came in life and he wanted me to do the opposite of wat i was planning and i asked him the reason and he would always force me to obey what he is saying, so after me ignoring wat he was saying for a while, he basically cornered me started forcing me and i tried to reason with him, I remember he screamed at me the whole time, and even thou i was trying to be nice I ended up getting mad too LIke i still feel so bad about it but literally it was an hour and he kept on screaming at me and telling me that im dead to him never to speak to him like OMG!!! i could belive him, I tried to leave but he wont leave me alone and i got mad too and we had an arguement then i left and i started praying and he told the whole family if anyone talks to me they are dead to him too
I apologized to him the next day but he wont listen and kept on saying unless i agree with him he wont talk, No one talked to me for a month, and he would always get mad at me, i was kicked out the house many times. then finally Finally he went like watever and said alot of mean things too but i was like watever too

BUT now everyoen is thinking im the bad guy, cuz i shud have just listened to him NO NEVER, he wanted me to take the easy way of doing something but that invovled bribery or using wrong ways to get it DONE, LIKE NEVER cuz im not sure but i read it somewhere that the one who bribes and the one who takes it they both are jahami ( dwellers of hell) please correct me if im wrong

So see there is situation im already worried wat he is going to do when i tell him im not marrying my cuzin i already told my mom she took a month to angry for him its going to take a life time, I want to do the right thing not what my parents think but i always try my best to make sure they understand Inshallah.

Remember me in ur prayers brothers and sister - ameen

Well akhi I extend a big bundle of respect your way..I think in a situation like this the best thing to do is to remain in control of temper and display utmost patience..perhaps your father intends so much good in his ways that he is going about things the wrong way..the important thing is to not upset him with anger or talk back..let him say whatever "cools his heart" and all you can do is walk away..the reason why I suggested that you talk to him is not because it *will solve the problem* (though I pray that it would..Allah's commands are between the two words of *Be!* and *it is!* )..but because I think you should clear your *duty or responsibility* in the sight of Allah (swt)..you will present to them the proofs and kindly speak to them and respectfully share your feelings..if they persist in their opinions..then they are left to Allah's Will..He (swt) will decree that which is best for you and them..I know it's hard..but sometimes when starved and there's only one big loaf o stale bread..one needs to crumble it down to very small bits and eat it to satisfy the hunger..with patience and dua'a A LOT can change *overnight*..persevere..not for anyone's sake..not even for *yours*..but for Allah's

You will be in my dua'as akhi

 

[Hard Rock Moslem]

Sister Muslimah,

I'm impressed but getting worried coz I trim my moustache and also my beard. It is my aim to grow beard one day but I'm working in a service industry and imagine I grow my beard like Osama bin Laden (just an example)...? I'm a sole bread winner. But Allah and His Rasool are above all...once I'm into own business I will definitely grow beard. I know the story of fir'aun was not punished by Allah until he shaved completely his moustache and beard.

May Allah forgive me and accepts my du'a. Ameen.

 

[Hard Rock Moslem]

Shaheer bhai, thank you for raising this issue. I'm benefitted also.

 

[slaveofAllah88]

JazakAllah khair brother well it helped me alot too im really thankful to sister a_muslimah86 her knowledge is so beneficial to us all mashallah