Marry If You Can, Otherwise Fast‏

afrarzk

afrarzk

احبك ىارب
The Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said: “Whoever among you can afford it, let him get married, for it is more effective in lowering the gaze and guarding chastity. And whoever cannot afford it, then let him fast, for it will be restraint for him.” [Sunan an-Nasai]

The Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) recommended that Muslims get married. It is against the teachings of Islam to have the financial ability to get married but choose to stay single.

There is a specific code of conduct while in this world that Allah (subhana wa ta’ala) has outlined for those who want to spend eternity as they please in Jannah. One of its requirements is to be careful with where one looks and guard oneself from looking at the opposite gender (except one’s spouse). What the eye sees, the limbs follow to. To look at forbidden things is the first step in the wrong direction.

Being married helps to guard one’s gaze and remain within the boundaries of Islam. If a person is not able to get married for some reason, then they should fast. Fasting helps to guard one’s chastity.
 
A

Aapa

Mirajmom
Assalaam alaikum,

No, a man does not permission from his first wife to marry another.

Sister,

One cannot fast everyday, either.
 
John Smith

John Smith

Junior Member
al-fajr said:
Such 'jokes' are completely inappropriate on the forums, please refrain from comments of this nature in future.

JazakAllah khayr.
Click to expand...

Who said i was joking?.

Im serious!

;)

- - - Updated - - -

Aapa said:
Assalaam alaikum,

No, a man does not permission from his first wife to marry another.

Sister,

One cannot fast everyday, either.
Click to expand...

True,fasting everyday is tough!.
 
A

Aapa

Mirajmom
Assalaam alaikum,

You can remain chaste. It is difficult.

I am thinking of a concurrent thread. Why do some parents wish celibacy on their children?

If one has never been married it is much easier. When one has been married is now not married...it is hard. I think I will read the thread on candy bars.
 
Ershad

Ershad

Junior Member
John Smith said:
Open to offers? .......Lol.

:D
Click to expand...

Joke or not, I think it was a inappropriate comment devoid of Haya. If you are serious, I think there is better ways to get it done. Baarakallahu feek.

John Smith said:
Can we have 2 wifes? and do i need permission from the 1st?
Click to expand...

You do not require permission. However, this matter would require some wisdom to deal it peacefully. Please watch below videos for some instructions regarding it by Shaykh Saalih as Suhaymee. Also read the beneficial instructions in attachment, Insha Allah

http://rasheedgant.multiply.com/vid...l-Marriage?&show_interstitial=1&u=/video/item

[video=youtube;NmAWcFZJUHs]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NmAWcFZJUHs[/video]

View attachment Instructions+For+Men+Regarding+Plural+Marriage+by+Shaykh+Saalih+as-Suhaymee.pdf
 
A

Abu Talib

Feeling low
John Smith said:
Can we have 2 wifes? and do i need permission from the 1st?
Click to expand...

Yesterday I was attending a duroos and my ustaad was talking about this topic

He said you can marry without the permission another wife but if your 1st wife has stipulated in the marriage contract that you can't take another wife after you marry her then you can't marry 2nd wife.
 
A

Aapa

Mirajmom
Assalaam alaikum,

I have read this before. My question is simple. Why would a woman who is a Believer make that stipulation in a marriage contract?
 
Ershad

Ershad

Junior Member
Aapa said:
Assalaam alaikum,

I have read this before. My question is simple. Why would a woman who is a Believer make that stipulation in a marriage contract?
Click to expand...

wa'alaykkum assalam

I do not claim to understand women. But, scholars usually explain this as a natural jealousy of women. That which women were created with. And even the wives of Prophet (salallahu alayhi wassalam) had this kind of jealousy as there are parables in Qur'an and Sunnah regarding it. And as long as Islam makes it permissible, I do not see any reason to prevent a woman from stipulating that in the contract. That doesn't make her any less of a believer.
 
al-fajr

al-fajr

...ism..schism
Staff member
John Smith said:
Who said i was joking?.

Im serious!

;)
Click to expand...

No, I'm the one who's serious.

Drop it.

Aapa said:
Assalaam alaikum,

I have read this before. My question is simple. Why would a woman who is a Believer make that stipulation in a marriage contract?
Click to expand...

Wa-alaikum assalam Aapa,

Hope you're well =).

The reason for that would be because she knows her level of tolerance of another wife would be absolutely minimal and would be detrimental to her own marriage.

It may be disagreeable, but I don't think it's difficult to understand her perspective. We live in an age of intolerance I guess, because even if the wives of the Prophet (s) were jealous, they tolerated polygamy.
 
M

magood

New Member
Salam alykom ,,

i think its either doesn't work with fasting especially if u life out of a Muslim country .... heeee :)

it's hard topic to talk about ,,,,,

((( i'm just kidding ,, support suppose to be from allah only ))



afrarzk said:
The Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said: “Whoever among you can afford it, let him get married, for it is more effective in lowering the gaze and guarding chastity. And whoever cannot afford it, then let him fast, for it will be restraint for him.” [Sunan an-Nasai]

The Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) recommended that Muslims get married. It is against the teachings of Islam to have the financial ability to get married but choose to stay single.

There is a specific code of conduct while in this world that Allah (subhana wa ta’ala) has outlined for those who want to spend eternity as they please in Jannah. One of its requirements is to be careful with where one looks and guard oneself from looking at the opposite gender (except one’s spouse). What the eye sees, the limbs follow to. To look at forbidden things is the first step in the wrong direction.

Being married helps to guard one’s gaze and remain within the boundaries of Islam. If a person is not able to get married for some reason, then they should fast. Fasting helps to guard one’s chastity.
Click to expand...
 
John Smith

John Smith

Junior Member
Seem some dont have a sense of humour.

Not like i was asking anyone one on the forum for thier hand in marriage.

Anyhow,thanks for the feeed back about asking permission for wifey #1.
 
A

Aapa

Mirajmom
Assalaam alaikum,

Forgive me, at times I take things too seriously.

And to the brother who said this is a hard thing to talk about. Yes, but when handled in a mature manner, we can take a little humor, it can be discussed.

For those that can marry. Marry. We are biological beings as well. Islam does not dictate that we live our lives in caves. We are part and parcel of life.
There needs to be a refocus on when to marry. Muslims as a whole, in the West, put off marriage. The career choice is very important to them.

We also have many sisters who focus on the western romantic notions of marriage. The perfect prince charming and the happily ever-after with the one and only.

We do not educate our youth on the need for marriage. We do not explain to our youth that the Cinderella version of life is a fabricated lie. Marriage is not about a happy couple. We have had many discussions on marriage here before. But, our brothers and sisters are unaware of the benefits of marriage.

And maybe I am suggesting that a sister who stipulates in a contract that he can not have another wife needs to be educated on why in Islam marriage to more than one woman is permissible. If she is the jealous type then she needs to work on it. It stands to reason if you wish paradise you will toil for it.

As for brothers. What can I say. There are sisters who are alone and unprotected. You have the means to protect them. I read all these posts about these warriors who want to save Islam. And you can not even protect your sisters.

Marriage is more than sex.


Sister Al-fajr,

Thank you for asking about me. You have made my day. And please keep me in your dua.
 
John Smith

John Smith

Junior Member
Just received a rep comment good/bad i dont know as i have lost it,please forward it again to me if you like.

Peace.
 
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