Marry Your Daughter Off!!!

T

TheAuthenticBase

Assalaamu 'alaykum!
O Fathers, how longer will you keep your daughter 'locked-in', awaiting for that doctor to come along with a milllion pounds in his bank account? As the Prophet (saw) (the one you claim to love and folow) said, "When your daughter reaches the age of puberty, look for a a suitible partner for her."

<But my daughter hasn't asked me to lok for anyone yet.>

Ummm, yeah. But maybe that's because she's shy...

<So who should I look for then? If a doctor is not good for her?>

Well the Prophet (saw) said:

"When someone with whose religion and character you are satisfied asks your daughter in marriage, accede to his request. If you do not do so, there will be temptation on Earth and extensive corruption."​

[Tirmidhi, Nasa'i & Ibn Majah]

So the best husband for your daughter is a pious man with good manners.

<Well, but my daughter is the type of girl who doesn't talk to boys, she doesn't even come downstairs to greet her male cousins. Hence why I don't think she likes to get married yet.>

Shaykh (elder), the fact that she doesn't talk to males is more of a reason that she needs to get married off. A female, by nature loves to be loved and cared for.

Everywhere you look women have partners, and your daughter is here, keeping her chastity and her honor preserved. For how much longer will you keep her away from her halaal bond of love awaiting her in her pious partner?

If she doesn't talk to males, that doesn't mean she does not want to get married. Everyone else is fulfiling their desires ina haraam way, hence why they are not bothered that much about marriage, but your daughter is restraining herself. And a human being can only restrain oneself for a certain period of time.

<Yes, but a doctor can provide for her better than someone who just sees everything as 'haraam'>

No doubt a doctor can provide more money for her, but a pious man with god manners will treat her well. Likewise, there will be more of a bond and connection between the two of them.
 
saifkhan

saifkhan

abd-Allah
salam alaikum

very good post, masha Allah

I think this way, alhamdu li Allah, though I'm not married yet...lolz, but insha Allah if Allah azza wa jal is going to bless with daughter I'll follow the path of Rasul salla Allahu alaihi wa sallam, that doesn't mean that for my sons I wont be going to... he he

I know it is a problem, but insha Allah, we are safe from this and may Allah save others also. but I didnt understand why sister tabassum07 whore, who will listen?

anyways
JazakAllahu khair
wassalam
 
O

OoOWandererOoO

New Member
99.0% of mothers and fathers with a daughter in this day and age await for a rich, handsome, educated, and sometimes same nationality [but nationality doesn't matter if they got **money** and education] male to give their daughters off to. These kinds of people make me really angry! Which is one of the reasons why their is so much fitnah in the world as stated in the prophet's hadith. they show no care what so ever for religion. i sometimes wonder if these same people will give their daughters to the kaffirs as they got money, looks, and education.....aren't those the requirements for marriage today???
prophet was poor
prophet was uneducated
just making a point. dont be angry please, but this is reality.
 
justoneofmillion

justoneofmillion

Junior Member
OoOWandererOoO said:
99.0% of mothers and fathers with a daughter in this day and age await for a rich, handsome, educated, and sometimes same nationality [but nationality doesn't matter if they got **money** and education] male to give their daughters off to. These kinds of people make me really angry! Which is one of the reasons why their is so much fitnah in the world as stated in the prophet's hadith. they show no care what so ever for religion. i sometimes wonder if these same people will give their daughters to the kaffirs as they got money, looks, and education.....aren't those the requirements for marriage today???
prophet was poor
prophet was uneducated
just making a point. dont be angry please, but this is reality.
Click to expand...
:salam2:

Dear brother,

The Prophet sallaa lahu aleihi wassalaam might have been illiterate but not uneducated(Taribiya).He has been educated by his Raab(Educator)the divine being himself to perfect the characters of man.

Inspired by his behavior and sayings, a legal system of Nations,empires and a dynamic thought of a civilization has flourished and shaped the world's geography forever.
His teachings continue to shake the ground and challenge contemporary ideologies and concepts of the living together till this very day and will still be doing so until the end of time.

So I think it would be fair to consider this important nuance between education and literacy and use them as two separate terms if we wanna build towards a positive change.

What we have come to perceive as education in the "classical" definition of the term or let's say it's western demarcation is no absolute value except to a colonized mind.

Now it might seem to be a far too subtle line to be drawn and that would have any relevant impact on the matter we are discussing, but it is in my view the exact frame ground of what you were justly denouncing in your objections above.

This could help us in our ambition to reform the minds and mentalities towards a more balanced and sane understanding of Islam ,which is a liberation in all aspects of the word , for social and marriage matters included.

So am not really digressing from the subject,I pray the original poster understands my point,inshallah.

May Allah swt bless you.Allah maak.
 
O

OoOWandererOoO

New Member
i understand sister
but the context i used uneducated was meaning he was illeterate. no intention of saying he prophet lacks knowledge.thats very bad and i will get a lot of sins for that. you go to dictionary dot com in thesaureous you find one of the synonyms for uneducated is illeterite and my intention of using uneducated is because he was illeterite. so i mean to use illeterate.
sorry if offenseded to you
 
eminbey

eminbey

信得過…是我的名字
yeah yeah Brother tell 'em tell 'em

Marriage! ( seems like a dream)

but who knows maybe some day when I'll find what I'm looking for!

May Allah help us all to find pious wives!
 
D

deen ul islam92

luv islam
I have a cousins sister who's quite aged, she refused to get married before because of her further studies and now her parents cant find any suitable grooms for her. Its quite sad because she's a knowledgeable women with a beautiful character and she's being refused merely for her age and her looks. This is affecting her sister who is also at a marital age but cannot and does not want to get married before her older sister.
May Allah find suitable partners for them both and bestow comfort on both their parents because they really are struggling.
 
ilyas_eh

ilyas_eh

Used to be active here!
assalaamu alaykkum brothers,

may be its our time to make a firm intention within ourselves not to make marriage something difficult for the next generation.

adhering to sunnah is seriously violated in this case, as we see.

its upon the young brothers of today to not to give in to the social pressures as we grow old.

may Allah guide us all. ameen

wa salaam
 
L

Linkgx1

Junior Member
Salams,

Well, here is the thing though. You don't want to do it too early, or at least wait until she is in college (husband and wife at some school maybe?)

From what I've observed, through isn't necesarilly the woman's fault. I think too many men want virgins. I'm not sure if it's a power thing or what but there are way too many that want a very small part of the population. They want 18 year old virgins (not even including race here) and ingnore the rest. Didn't Prophet Muhammed (PBUH) marry someone older than him?

And because of the way society works nowadays after a guy marries a virgin girl, a few years later he wants to leave and now wants someone else (what happened to more than one wife?).

I do agree that there are some that want the man to be a certain status when they get married. I think it's wrong because a girl will forgo a guy pursuing his dream and is halal and instead a guy who is living "The Dream", is haram and turns out to be a jerk in the long wrong.

I hope I didn't offend anyone and apolozie if I do.
 
helpinghumanity

helpinghumanity

Junior Member
deen ul islam92 said:
I have a cousins sister who's quite aged, she refused to get married before because of her further studies and now her parents cant find any suitable grooms for her. Its quite sad because she's a knowledgeable women with a beautiful character and she's being refused merely for her age and her looks. This is affecting her sister who is also at a marital age but cannot and does not want to get married before her older sister.
May Allah find suitable partners for them both and bestow comfort on both their parents because they really are struggling.
Click to expand...


May she get the best husband soon .....ameen...

My neighbor, she is 29, well educated, very beautiful, smart, talented well mannered. Her father used to refuse the proposal when she was young and now they are having difficulties in finding her a best match.


Alhamdolillah in us Pathans the sunnah is still alive. Some thing to boost about ..lol

Most of you guys know that my younger sister got married this summer. She was only 18 years old....My mom got married when she was almost about 18 years old and my dad was around 23.

I am 21 now ..will be turning 22 inshallah next years..and now all the eyes are being pointed towards me...Matter of fact my mom even asked me one day if i had some one in my mind...and my father..one day in a gathering he said that he is waiting for me to finish graduation (2 more semesters) and right after that ..you know whats coming.....However mashallah he gave me the permission to marry whom i like but the only condition is that she has be Muslimah...
 
helpinghumanity

helpinghumanity

Junior Member
ShahnazZ said:
Sorry but that's not true. Trust me, I wish it were but you can't generalize about any group and no group is perfect.
Click to expand...

I am not generalizing about all the Pathans and i am not referring to all the sunnah's.

I agree with you that no group is perfect. This thread was about marriage so i was only referring to the marriage part..

When i am referring to US (not United States lol) Pathans, i am referring to my area, my family and my people whom i or my family know and interact with etc, and then these people interest with their people etc.

Alhamdolillah i am telling it from some back up :). Why not conduct a survey regarding marriage on Pathans (There might be few Pathans here on TTI as well) and see the results. I can say this with authority that MOST (not all) of them were married at an earlier age.
 
P

Precious Star

Junior Member
The problem is, most muslim men want "young" girls. That is why many girls after age 27, 28, find it hard to find spouses -- they are viewed as "old" by men and prospective mothers in law. Allah SWT gave us the ability to have children well into our 40's, yet there is some sort of premium given to young girls. If you look on the internet, many muslim men aged 35-45 want only women who are 20-28 -- and that is extremely disturbing. Why wouldn't you want to spend your life with your contemporary?

Also, in the south asian (indo-pak) comunity, there is an enormous emphasis on a girl's looks. Is she slim, is she fair, she is tall, does she have nice eyes, does she look good in a sari, does she know how to cook dhal, etc etc. I know one prospective mother in law who tried to remove my friend's hijab (forcibly, in front of everyone!) so she could see her hair!

I was on muslim matrimonial websites for a long time. Although I am not bad looking, invariably men rejected me the minute they received my picture, because I do not look like a bollywood actress. Even though I was in my mid-30's at the time, the men rejected me because they thought I could not conceive (my doctor has told me otherwise!).

Yes I wanted to marry a man who was well-educated. That is because I am well-educated, and i believe that a harmonious marriage is one where the husband and wife are partners in the true sense and can have a conversation with each other! Gone are the days where, like my parents, the wife makes dinner and tea for her husband while the husband toils all day outside the home to come home to be comforted by his wife and children. That is not modern-day family life. People have tried to match me to truck drivers and equipment operators, and while these men may be pious, I really do not feel that I would have a lot in common with them, since my parents raised me with an appreciation for higher learning that is a blessing in this country. Also, I do not feel that it is my role to be supporting them financially.

So I really think there has to be an adjustment in thinking amongst the muslim diaspora. It is really fine and dandy for you to post comments about how women are "choosy" because they want to marry men who are weathly, but the damage to marriagiability really comes from the other end...namely, mothers in law and their precious baby boys who want the most perfect girl.

Trust me, I was, and remain, a religous girl, but when it came to marriage prospects, the men who met me did not give a flying fiddle about that! The muslim communit has disappointed me and my muslim friends enormously with their cultural and other baggage.
 
P

Perseveranze

Junior Member
Linkgx1 said:
From what I've observed, through isn't necesarilly the woman's fault. I think too many men want virgins. I'm not sure if it's a power thing or what but there are way too many that want a very small part of the population. They want 18 year old virgins (not even including race here) and ingnore the rest. Didn't Prophet Muhammed (PBUH) marry someone older than him?
Click to expand...

Asalaamu Alaikum,

I might be wrong (please correct me if I am), but from memory I think Aisha(pbuh) was the only virgin wife the Prophet(pbuh) married, the rest were not virgins.
 
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