Misbehaving kids in the masjid.

[steelieboy]

Assalamu Alaikum

Today after the Kutbah, as we straightened the rows for prayers, a father in the row in front of me allowed his young son to join the ranks. I think it's important for young kids to attend the prayer and learn the correct etiquitte. However, this little boy fidgeted, moved in and out of the row and disturbed the brother to the left of his father. When we went into sajda the little boy would lie down like he was in his living room and I had to actually move his legs so that I could prostrate. After the prayer, his father who's pants were so long that he stood on them didn't apologize to the brother to his left or even discipline the boy.
I see this kind of thing often where kids see the Masjid as a playground and their fathers say absolutely nothing about their behavior. Often other brothers would have to say something to the kid.
Many brothers put up a front of peity when they come to the masjid, but you can really see how islam is practiced in the homes by the behavior of their sons.
The kids sometimes don't have wudu, but fathers put them in the rows.
Why not make your kid sit quietly and observe?

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

One, the Prophet, may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, would encourage the prayers to be shortened because of children.

Two, by allowing children to be children the masjid becomes a place of warmth and engaging to the child..they will always have positive feelings.

Three..when the angels of Allah are present in multitude the energy level of children skyrockets.

I would rather have children wrapping around their fathers in joy than to see children wrapped in bloody shourds being carried by their fathers to be buried.

 

[steelieboy]

Assalamu Alaikum
Brother, I am not saying that kids should not be in the masjid.
Yes, The Prophet S.A.W did encourage the prayers to be shortened because of crying children, to make it easier on the mothers.

I am talking about children behavior inside and outside of the prayer.
My daughter accompanies me to the masjid often,but she is taught manners and because she sees me pray at home, she understands that prayer time is quiet time.

Children are welcome in the masjid as it provides a chance for them to bond with other kids and learn their deen. However, they must be taught how to behave. Playing tag and singing, leaving candy wrappers and food on the carpet, urinating on the toilet seat and the bathroom floor is no good, so they MUST be trained by parents.

When the energy level of children skyrockets, they need positive outlets. Not the ability to run, play and do as they like.

And noone wants to see anyone bloody or buried. I'm talking about disciplining the kids.

 

[alf2]

I agree, that would be annoying. Nothing wrong with kids in the Masjid, but I think its best to teach the kids that the Masjid is a peaceful and respectful place. I was always taught at a young age to behave as adults do anytime we were in public.

 

[BrotherInIslam7]

Kids are innocent and cute, this is how they learn. At first, they might not pay attention to what's going on. But slowly they start praying by imitating their parents and everyone around.

We have to be immensely patient with them. Let's all not forget when we were kids. I bet that we weren't any better at the mosques than the current little ones, atleast I know I wasn't .

Wasalaamalaykum waa rahmatullahi

 

[ilyas_eh]

i think we should encourage them to pray as well...

infact daughter of Zainab bint Mohammed(peace be upon the prohpet), used to play(meaning disturb him) with prophet (pbuh) while he is praying.

reported in sahih bukhari..

Volume 001, Book 009, Hadith Number 495.
-----------------------------------------
Narated By Abu Qatada Al-Ansari : Allah's Apostle was praying and he was carrying Umama the daughters of Zainab, the daughter of Allah's Apostle and she was the daughter of 'As bin Rabi'a bin 'AbduShams. When he prostrated, he put her down and when he stood, he carried her (on his neck).



assalaamu alaykkum wa rahmathullahi wa barakatuhu.

 

[JenGiove]

:salam2:

Steelieboy,

First, I must correct you, Aapa is our eldest sister here, not a brother....the mistake of not checking profiles is one I made twice last week.....hehe.

I can understand your frustration at the child. In my own world, at the beginning of the powwow, we enter the dance circle for 3 particular songs. The first honors the people of the nations (Indian), the second honors flags (governmental systems) and the third honors the warriors, be them male or female-living or dead. The first song is danced in rows, the second we stand at the edge of the circle and stand silently and the third only the warriors dance <at least once around> and then family members from the edge can dance with them. All of this is done in front of the eyes of the public so that they may see our traditions and our pride. Children are allowed to come in and when my son was little-er (he's almost 3 now and powwows only happen during the summer) he would enter the circle with me. He would fidget during the second song <the Flag Song> and scream. One time, he even ran away from me.

To understand how dangerous that was, there is a prayer fire in the center of the circle. But I knew several things. 1) Every person in that ring was watching him, not because I was a "bad parent" but because in our tradition it states that "it takes a village to raise a child".....thank you Mrs. Clinton for allowing the US government to steal from us, again........2) Every parent in that ring was sympathizing with me....because they've been there. If he came near them, they would quietly encourage him to come near them and they would pick him up and occupy him until there was a break in the songs where I could go and get him.

It didn't take him long however to learn that when in the ring, and we are not moving, he needs to remain calm and quiet till its over. Directing his attention to the drums "look at the drummers Connor...look how the beaters are going up and down at the same time...Doesn't it sound just like mumma's heart? Here listen.."

Things like eating and drinking messes are the responsibility of the parents and maybe they need to be corrected for that. Peeing ON the toilet instead of in it is a matter of maturity and the respectful thing to do is for the parents to clean it up.

We all go through this stage. They don't call it the "terrible twos/threes" for nothing.

 

[justoneofmillion]

:salam2:Kids are closer to our Fitra.Kids are amazing observers , they love sharing their first experiences"Look here!look there!"you know... they are fool of curiosity about the world surrounding them, with their big eyes fool of hope.For us adults who have gotten bitter,Snobby,Egocentric through an increasingly cynical world ,we can learn a lot from them,.Let them play yallah,don t be too harsh.Or correct them gently.They ll learn to walk with time by eventually falling sometimes.They don t do that with full knowledge about the matter .Am a big kid I don t get along much with the adult s world view. Am still shocked by the picture i saw yesterday.Allah swt bless you all.

Ps.I will post some more on the war business topic later on.I need some prayer ,i need answers for what i saw yesterday. Am not concentrated.

http://www.turntoislam.com/forum/showthread.php?t=73785

 

[The_truth]

Assalamu Alaikum

Today after the Kutbah, as we straightened the rows for prayers, a father in the row in front of me allowed his young son to join the ranks. I think it's important for young kids to attend the prayer and learn the correct etiquitte. However, this little boy fidgeted, moved in and out of the row and disturbed the brother to the left of his father. When we went into sajda the little boy would lie down like he was in his living room and I had to actually move his legs so that I could prostrate. After the prayer, his father who's pants were so long that he stood on them didn't apologize to the brother to his left or even discipline the boy.
I see this kind of thing often where kids see the Masjid as a playground and their fathers say absolutely nothing about their behavior. Often other brothers would have to say something to the kid.
Many brothers put up a front of peity when they come to the masjid, but you can really see how islam is practiced in the homes by the behavior of their sons.
The kids sometimes don't have wudu, but fathers put them in the rows.
Why not make your kid sit quietly and observe?

Asalaamu Alaikum, i think this is a subject which affects most Masjid goers and is one which does cause a lot of frustration amongst those who are trying to concentrate in their Salaah. This topic may not be one which is understood fully by those who do not enter the Masjid frequantely. It is hard enough as it is to concentrate in Salaah when on top of that there is a child screaming away.

A father who brings their child to the Masjid should know what their childs behaviour is like and if they know that their child may disturb other worship goers then he should wait a couple of years until the child has matured a little until bringing the child to the Masjid but if the father knows that their child may pull a tantrum and disturb other people in their Salaah then they should NOT bring their child to the Masjid until they are old enough to understand what the Masjid is about. Or they could just bring their child to the Masjid in times when jamaat is not taking place.

Some Masjids i know of have made it a rule that no child should be brought into the Masjid younger than 7. This should be a universal rule because it is the children who are aged under 7 who cause the majority of noice and bad behaviour whilst pople are praying their Salaah.

It is upon the fathers to be considerate and not selfish when it comes to bringing their children to the Masjid when they know they may run about and disturb others.

I remember in Ramadan there was contraversy in my local Masjid when a very young girl no older then 2 and a half was brought into the Masjid by her father and from start to finish of Asr Salaah with jamaat she was screaming and crying at the top of her voice for her mother. It was agony praying Salaah hearing that all the way through and the father was very embarressed indeed after the Salaah and it was not his daughters fault nor is it ever the childs fault but it is the fault of the father or mother who brings the child into the Masjid at such a young age when they know not about their surroundings and it is upon them not to bring their children to the Masjid if they know they may disturb the prayers of others.

It should definatley become a univeral rule that no child under the age of 7 should be brought into the Masjid unless it is not in the time of Salaah with jamaat.

And Allah knows best in all matters

 

[justoneofmillion]

Asalaamu Alaikum, i think this is a subject which affects most Masjid goers and is one which does cause a lot of frustration amongst those who are trying to concentrate in their Salaah. This topic may not be one which is understood fully by those who do not enter the Masjid frequantely. It is hard enough as it is to concentrate in Salaah when on top of that there is a child screaming away.

A father who brings their child to the Masjid should know what their childs behaviour is like and if they know that their child may disturb other worship goers then he should wait a couple of years until the child has matured a little until bringing the child to the Masjid but if the father knows that their child may pull a tantrum and disturb other people in their Salaah then they should NOT bring their child to the Masjid until they are old enough to understand what the Masjid is about. Or they could just bring their child to the Masjid in times when jamaat is not taking place.

Some Masjids i know of have made it a rule that no child should be brought into the Masjid younger than 7. This should be a universal rule because it is the children who are aged under 7 who cause the majority of noice and bad behaviour whilst pople are praying their Salaah.

It is upon the fathers to be considerate and not selfish when it comes to bringing their children to the Masjid when they know they may run about and disturb others.

I remember in Ramadan there was contraversy in my local Masjid when a very young girl no older then 2 and a half was brought into the Masjid by her father and from start to finish of Asr Salaah with jamaat she was screaming and crying at the top of her voice for her mother. It was agony praying Salaah hearing that all the way through and the father was very embarressed indeed after the Salaah and it was not his daughters fault nor is it ever the childs fault but it is the fault of the father or mother who brings the child into the Masjid at such a young age when they know not about their surroundings and it is upon them not to bring their children to the Masjid if they know they may disturb the prayers of others.

It should definatley become a univeral rule that no child under the age of 7 should be brought into the Masjid unless it is not in the time of Salaah with jamaat.

And Allah knows best in all matters

:salam2:We should teach adults to behave aswell!How many times i was stared at when entering a masjid while I was traveling on the road by car.How many times because I wasn t of their Race or community or skin color!I wasn t Bengladeshi,I wasn t Turkish I didn t look Arab Al tough i understood what Arabs were saying."Who is this maybe a spy,do you know him?does he live in the area?Be careful folks?".This disturbs more than a playing child!Grown men talking and behaving like women.I mean hello i had just stopped by to make a quick prayer in the house of god and carry on driving.It is good for the children to be surrounded by Muslims and to be part of the community.The parents might have a good intention in bringing them.There is a deep psychological impact on a child s growth related to the environment he is surrounded by ,especially in areas where the external influence is less favorable to Islamic ethics.Why dont you introduce yourselves to them and advice them nicely instead of excluding the children completely from the screen.I Used to love to go to the masjid when I was a kid,I loved praying to Allah swt.I Remember going with my uncle for Fajr,eventough i was just copying the gestures i knew what it was about ,and when he went without me because he wanted to let me sleep I was angry at him .One of our prayers to Allah swt is to make our children love Muslims and their way of life .The vastness is to be looked for in the hearts not in the buildings and prayer ruges.

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The more sand that has escaped from the hourglass of our lives the clearer we should see through it"
Jean Paul Sartre.
|"Le Silence est la Langue de Dieu ,tout le reste n'est qu'une traduction médiocre"Rumi

 

[um_mustafa]

Salams
Brother The_truth ,I am in total agreement with all that you said mashallah,
as it is very hard to concentrate when you have even older children running infront of you when you are praying,
I found this in Makkah in Ramadan, people bringing small crying , distressed babies and children to the Haram,
one mother told her child trying to encourage him ,"look we will be able to see the Kabaah"
and he answered her ," I dont want to see it" it was so crowed, very hot and it had the opposit effect on him poor dear, because he was put through a lot of hardship, which he was too young to understand he thought it was a punishment.

children cant be expected to have sabr like older people in this situation, it is even hard for us to have sabr with others at such trying times.

Inshallah we can all learn from this and act wisely and concider our brothers and sisters when we go to pray.
w/salam

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,


I am disgusted.

What is wrong with you guys. Don't bring children into the masjid until 7.

One can concentrate anywhere.

This is sad.

Of all the things going on in the world this is all you can discuss!!!!

Give the child a lollipop. It will still down and suck it.

 

[Ibn Uthaymin]

I second Aapa. Whats wrong with kids in the mosque?

Sometimes we wrestle in the mosque, no one says anything about that.

Stop being like those old backward grumpy Bangali/ Pakistani uncles/ Aunties.

Nobody likes them.

 

[BrotherInIslam7]

Stop being like those old backward grumpy ....

Nobody likes them.

:salam2:

This really isn't warranted. And it might be offensive to people who are from this part of the world.

As for young kids who cry, play, scream during the prayer. Well they are young kids and this is what young kids do. If it disturbs your salah, have patience InshaAllah. The earlier age they are in the masjid, it will instill a love in their heart for the mosque and this deen. This is the time when most of their likes and dislikes are being formed. We can tolerate a few disturbances in our prayer for our kids to be in good company InshaAllah.

If the kid is grown up and is not acting his age and being a nuisance, than perhaps it can be conveyed discreetly to the parent. But toddlers and young kids, they do what we did when we were their age.

It's not the parent's or the kid's fault. We should all just have a lot more patience InshaAllah.

 

[JenGiove]

Stop being like those___________

:salam2:

I agree with what BrotherInIslam7 said. Name calling is uncalled for. I was under the understanding that once you took Shahada, you stopped being _________ and became a Muslim. Period.

 

[abdul-aziz]

:salam2:

kids in a masjid means there mothers are praying as well probably.

be patient, teach them by actions more than any discipline. be nice talk to them even if they are bad.

imagine the reward you would get for stopping someone from doing bad deeds and teaching them good ones.

if you want I can bring many hadith how the prophet PBUH, handled children.

wa Allah ya'lam

ps. I teach many adults, by teaching kids in the masjid. Adults will not show they don't know they stay quiet. But I bet you they listen when you discuss it with a child. Some even try to correct me, but alhumdillah I bring them Quran and Sunnah.

[EDIT] I am not mr. perfect, I do learn from others as well doing the above as well!

 

[Al-Kashmiri]

As-salaamu `alaykum

What's the fuss? Kids are kids, if they behave, fine. If they don't, don't bring them! Place them in the rows with elders? No, they distract salaah. By them standing in rows and not praying (since they haven't reached puberty), they are breaking the rows. Hence the hadeeth of the one who breaks the rows in salaah applies to their parents who put them there in the first place. This is the opinion of some jurists. Children in the masjid are better off at the ends or back rows - during salaah at least. That way at least they're "praying" and not distracting others, and not creating gaps in the rows.

And Akhi Ibn Uthaymeen, this ain't the first or second time I've seen objectionable language from yourself. Please remember to consider the public audience that you are speaking to. In addition akhi, it's not just a Asian thing...

UPDATE: The hadeeth is to the effect of, "Whoever cuts off a row, Allaah cuts him off."

 

[faaraa]

First of all, If a child is not playing (During preyer time or other times) THEN HE IS NOT A CHILD..

Playing every time, is the nature of a kid..WE CANT BLAME THEM

Secondly... When Rasoolullah (PBUH) was in Sajda while praying one of his grand children climbed on his back, and you know what our prophet did?? he waited till the kid finish playing on his back and when the kid stood up on the floor the Propet (PBUH) continued with his Salaah...

LATER ON, HE DID NEVER STOP HIS GRAND CHILD FROM PLAYING ON HIS BACK WHILE MAKING SAJADA

THIS IS HIS WISDOM,,,

ALLAH AZZAWAJAL has created a diversity among, babies,children, adults and elders,, and it is our duty to accept it THEN THE LIFE WOULD BECOME BEAUTIFUL

In Rasoolullah (PBUH)'s period, Masjid was EVERY THING.. I mean, the children park, the knowledge gaining room, the Parliament, the training camp.., the hospital.. etc..JUST EVERY THING

BUT UNFORTUNATELY, now-a days it is limited only as a place for praying..

THIS IS WRONG...

If a kid is destroying the line or breaking the row.. then WE CAN JOIN IT..
SIMPLE..

Just learn to be loving.. because he is a KID... not a MATURED HUMAN BEING.. so I dont think that ALLAH AZZAWAJAL would punish him for a mistake which he has committed without any knowledge.. HE IS ARAHMAAN ANS ARRAHEEM:

And the prophet (PBUH), used to shorten the prayer when he heard a kid cry...

he (PBUH) also said that the one who does not love the children and the one who does not respect the elders, is not of mine..

So, just forgive the kids and adjust with them with love..

FEE AMANILLAH

 

[Al-Kashmiri]

If a kid is destroying the line or breaking the row.. then WE CAN JOIN IT..
SIMPLE..

I think you missed the point. The breaking of the rows is due to the child standing there, not due to him fidgeting or whatever. His salaah isn't valid, nor is he 'praying', since he hasn't met the conditions of salaah. In other words, the mere presence of a child in the middle of a row alone considers that row to be broken - according to some scholars. Joining therefore is done by placing the child on the end or in a separate row. This way the idea of prayer is still instilled in children, but they are not distracting other worshippers, nor are they disconnecting the rows.

Was-salaam

 

[Ibn Uthaymin]

I apologize for the language i used.

sorry.