Muslim men looking for marriage ?

Discussion in 'TurnToIslam Lounge !' started by blackivy393, Jan 7, 2011.

  1. blackivy393
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    blackivy393 Junior Member

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    when you guys (men) get married, will you want to adopt ???? does any guys out there have a desire for this ?
  2. Ahsen
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    Ahsen Junior Member

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    Adopt what?
  3. Aapa
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    Aapa Mirajmom

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    Assalaam walaikum,

    Sister..adoption is a sticky thing in Islam. A man may raise a child that is not his but he will never be the father. Perhaps you need to reword your question. Are there brothers who are strong and willing to marry a woman who has children and help her raise them.

    I think you pose a very serious question. There are many Believing women who have the burden of being single mothers. We do not have brothers who are willing to take on that responsibility. I know many American Muslim brothers who would; however I feel many of the immigrant brothers only marry women with children but do not adhere to Islam.

    I believe you have started an important post. I pray you get serious replies. Muslims in America need to wake up and understand there exist a large number of women with children. The masjids are not aware nor do they address these issues. It seems that many of the masjids which are immigrant based have shut their eyes to an elephant in the room.
  4. Abdul Hasib
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    Abdul Hasib Student of Knowledge

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    Assalamu Aleykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakathuh sisters.

    Depends. If I don't die, I wouldn't mind marrying a sister who already has children, whether she was born Muslim, or a convert.

    But as for ME, I would NEVER marry ANY women-
    until I feel that I can take care of her correctly, and be able to support her financially, physically (< no pun intended, LoL), spiritually, emotionally, and etc.

    And also, the only kind of women that I would ever (willingly) marry would be a women would be so Righteous and Pious enough that she would collapse in tears after watching this video:

    [yt]ylFKCaMZpho[/yt]

    And also she would have to be someone who Loves Allah (SWT) extremely:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=37-4gaXBpPw
  5. Aapa
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    Aapa Mirajmom

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    Assalaam walaikum,

    Brother...do not put yourself into a box.

    If we look at the example of our Prophet, may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, he did not put stipulations on women. He liberated women. He married women with children.

    How foolish are our brothers today. They allow Believing women to be preyed upon by men in the duyna.

    I am not calling you foolish. I am making a general statement.
  6. Abdul Hasib
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    Abdul Hasib Student of Knowledge

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    Wa Aleykumussalam Warahmatullahi Wabarakaathuh sister. LoL I'm not putting stipulations on women, nor am I saying that women have to behave in a certain manner. All I'm saying is that in order for me to to stay calm, gentle, sweet, loving, caring, forgiving, etc. to my family (in other words, no fights and no problems), I would need someone who is SUPER righteous, because if not, then well, she would regret ever marrying me, and I would regret the fact that I can't keep her happy.

    Liberate women? I will try, INSHALLAHU TA ALAA, to NOT ONLY liberate women, but THE ENTIRE HUMANITY from the shackles of Ignorance, Darkness, Disbelief, and the Love of Duniyah, to the FREEDOM and JUSTICE of ISLAM, THE OBEDIANCE TO ALLAH (SWT), AND THE BEAUTIFUL EXAMPLE OF RASULALLAH (SAW).
  7. Aapa
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    Aapa Mirajmom

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    Walaikum asaalam,

    Sweet son..I know you are trying..that is why I love you so much.

    Back to the topic...I will await more responses.
  8. justoneofmillion
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    justoneofmillion Junior Member

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    :salam2:Inshallah,this is something that is very close to my heart personally.One day if I have the ability I Would in someway raise an Orphan and foster them according to the Islamic etiquette.If the money is right I de take care of so many of them as I can.May Allah grant me this long time dream.If my wife doesn 't like it she can go I even told her but she loves children too(Joking but still..) This is the way I am, my house will always be open for Orphans.My Grandmothers genes will never die in me.
  9. Abdul Hasib
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    Abdul Hasib Student of Knowledge

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    LoL Untie, you know how to put a smile on my face. :)

    This might sound funny, but even though I'm still 16, I'm trying to prepare myself in advance so that I can correctly carry the responsibility of being a great husband and father who's loving, caring, and compassionate, Inshallahu Ta Alaa.

    The only problem is, being from IBP (India, Bangladesh, Pakistan), my mother doesn't really believe me (when I tell her that I want to be a good father and husband), LoL


    [yt]SK7D5RfE27s[/yt]
  10. Perseveranze
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    Perseveranze Junior Member

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    Asalaamu Alaikum,

    1. Yes I would marry a woman who already has children, as our Prophet(pbuh) did.
    2. When I'm out of my Uni Studies and get some kind of income I hope to sponsor as many orphan children as possible.

    And who knows, whatever is in my destiny it is, I wouldn't oppose to the thought of adopting a child either.

    It's a suprising feeling, I would never think like this before Islam.
  11. Aapa
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    Aapa Mirajmom

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    Assalaam walaikum,

    Jameel, you are to have five biological children..I hope your wife is prepared.

    On a very serious level we have no idea how many Muslim single mothers are in the US. Women who have been abandoned by their husbands. There are no statistics.
    I see this as a failure of many Muslim communities in the US. And I believe we need to address the situation.
    Many of the masjids that function in the US, do so with eyes always looking for the way things are done at home. But for many of us this is home. We have to find Islamic solutions to the problems facing Muslims here at home..not some exotic home. We have to rid ourselves of cultural biases and live in the specific biosphere we are dwelling in the present.
  12. justoneofmillion
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    justoneofmillion Junior Member

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    :salam2:
    Inshallah you made me smile Appa, oh poor thing,she gonna get big and so many times ,walking like a balloon Inshallah.Me in small sample, it's gonna terrorize the whole neighborhood haha but she loves children as I do even if she couldn't have own children,I will never let her down.Allah s will. I love her more than myself just not as much as I love children,it is however a different kind of love,am the last in line. Alhamdulillah:biggrin:.
  13. arzafar
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    arzafar Junior Member

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    err... i want to have my own babies, hopefully; havent thought about adopting.
    Furthermore, in Islam the children belong to the man, (not the woman) in case of divorce, so im not sure how things would work out.

    adopting orphans is another matter, dependent upon finances.
  14. Asja
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    Asja Pearl of Islaam

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    Assalamu allaicum wa raahmatullah wa baarkatuhu

    Dear brother, can you please give proofs from Quraan that children are belonging to man after divorce.?? If that would happen to me,I would never give my child, because Allah has made mother more close to her child than father,and although woman are weeker than man, they know to take care of thier children Alhamdulilah, does not metter if woman remarry again. It would mean than that woman can not marry again, to be able to keep her children with herselfe, SubhanAllah,and that she would mean that she needs to choose between her children and marrying again.Even if woman remarry again, she would have her new husband to take care of her and her children.

    I can not understand reasons behind this, and may Allah forgive me if I am wrong, and if I can not understand well how Allah wish and how Allah made His religion, because even if we do not understand some things in Islaam, it is suficient to know that Islaam is from Allah, the same how it is in Quraan and Sunnah.

    But still Allah gave us the reason to think,and we should look authentic proofs from Quraan and Sunnah,and to leave any doubts.

    And Allah subhan wa teala and His Messanger sallahu alayha wa saalam knows the best.

    :wasalam:
  15. asalaf salih
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    asalaf salih Junior Member

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    if you do something

    :salam2:
    Bros & sises,
    If you do something try to seek with it the face of Allah. The best sadaqah is the one given to your wife and kid. Sleeping with your wife is a sadaqah. Smiling in her face is a sadaqah. Divorcing her is haram is only permissible for a STRONG reason. That' s why it' s called the lowest hallal. The last you want to have.
    Know that if you do something just for the seek of Allah that you' ll never be disappointed.
  16. Aapa
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    Aapa Mirajmom

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    Assalaam walaikum,

    Yes, however, there exist families with mothers who are responsible for their children.

    When a man walks out the door and leaves the family behind..reality sets in. What ought to be and is are two different matters. In every culture/faith the man is responsible yet, we have circumstances wherein the woman has to take the burden of responsibility.

    This is a serious topic. Where is the Muslim community for these women. I have found that cultural bias prevails and the sisters are treated like dirt. Women who have no food in the house yet the masjids shut the doors and the women are at the mercy of social services of the kuffir, so to speak.

    We always discuss what is wrong with the duyna..I am simply asking before we attack the duyna let us look at ourselves..why would a Muslim community turn its back on Believing women with children.
  17. blackivy393
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    blackivy393 Junior Member

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    NO EVERYONE I MEAN GET BABY FROM ORPHANAGE
  18. msmoorad
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    msmoorad mommys boy

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    as salaamu alaikum

    this topic is a bit strange.
    jazakallah
  19. arzafar
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    arzafar Junior Member

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    good treatment of orphans is enjoined in the quraan and hadith, so much so that it is probably obligatory. There is a huge reward for anyone who adopst orphans and takes good care of them. i dont think anyone would have a problem with that but money can be a problem.
  20. sliver
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    sliver Junior Member

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    I don't think I could adopt a child let alone raise one that is my own. But I think most would agree that raising a orphan is good thing which am sure many have. I just am not the case.

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