PLEASE HELP!!!!!

I

IN NEED OF HELP

New Member
Salaam to all,

I am new to this, so please forgive me if i have posted this thread on the wrong forum.
I know people gonna judge me and think bad of me, when I ask what I need help with but here goes:-

I am muslim male, I have been at times the worst muslim that I could be and at other times I have been Mashallah praying 5 times a day and been on the straight and narrow and doing what is required of me.

I got married about 5 years ago after growing stronger in my faith, but since being married. I started to go backwards and started to commit haraam.
Now recently my wife had caught out my lies and wants to divorce me unless i take an oath on the quran and say what I am telling her is the truth.

However I know what I have told her is a big lie. So my question is can I take an oath on the quran to save my marriage.

Please when replying please try to give me any evidence u can to ur answers.

W.Salaam
 
R

revert2007

Love Fishing
IN NEED OF HELP said:
Salaam to all,

I am new to this, so please forgive me if i have posted this thread on the wrong forum.
I know people gonna judge me and think bad of me, when I ask what I need help with but here goes:-

I am muslim male, I have been at times the worst muslim that I could be and at other times I have been Mashallah praying 5 times a day and been on the straight and narrow and doing what is required of me.

I got married about 5 years ago after growing stronger in my faith, but since being married. I started to go backwards and started to commit haraam.
Now recently my wife had caught out my lies and wants to divorce me unless i take an oath on the quran and say what I am telling her is the truth.

However I know what I have told her is a big lie. So my question is can I take an oath on the quran to save my marriage.

Please when replying please try to give me any evidence u can to ur answers.

W.Salaam
Click to expand...

check out this
http://www.turntoislam.com/forum/showthread.php?t=54798
http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=5068

p.s:no one should swear other than using Allah's name.
 
yasak80

yasak80

Junior Member
wa alaikum salam brother,
Allah will judge us in the day.. So we cant say at the moment that you a are bad person

In this world there is no comfort while commiting sins... we have to obey ALLAH.
Its sounds like that the stres you feel now, is expiation of your sins..
And in my opinion of course, when you take an oath on the Quran for a lie even if your intension is to save your marriage, everything couldnt be worse ?
Repent(tovbe) and ask God for forgiveness brother, may ALLAH gives the best solution and gives you peace inshaALLAH.
Praying for you.. Shaitan hates us, detests us.. may ALLAH gives us strenght to fight with cursed shaitan...:girl3:
 
I

IN NEED OF HELP

New Member
SAD.....

Salaam to all.

Jazak Allah to those of you who have taken the time to answer my query. May Allah bless you immensly and thank you for your kind words and not being harsh with me. I now what I am and no one could make me feel worse then what I already do.

I am quite sad to see that over 70 people have read my post and abd only two answered.

Anyway may Allah (swt) choose my fate for me, what ever he wishes as I have done wrong and desrve everything that I get in the form of punishment.
Even if it is divorce.

I can see slowly, slowly my deen slipping that much further away from me and shataan getting the much closer to me.

Brothers and Sisters please pray for me as I am in dire need of ur duas.
May Allah shower mercy on me and let me be guided to the truth and may I have the abilitity to except the truth and keep away from haraam.

Inshallah I am planning to go Hajj this year and if this works out for me, inshallah It will be positive start to a new beginning.

Inshallah I will make dua for the TTI family whilst on Hajj inshallah.

Salaam

Abu Sumayyah
 
zainali

zainali

Junior Member
assalamualikum
brother u have to stop doing what ur doing to ur wife , y ru unfaithful to ur wife , if ur a good muslim or u wanna be a good muslim , u have to love and care ur wife and u cant take a wrong oath of quran to save ur marriage , just tell her that what u've done is really wrong and ur really sorry and ur ready to follow a stright path , path of allah and his rasool (pbuh) , y do u do such things , betray ur wife , did u ever thought of her b4 doing such things , what if allah forbid if she did something like what u've done would u have been in a postion to forgive her , when u do something just think of the consequence that u'll face after that , just follow allahs given path and everything will be fine inshallah .
 
AyeshaL

AyeshaL

Junior Member
Salaam

Salaam brother,

I would like to quote you something that I read recently from a Muslim newsletter. I think it is a hadith but I dont want to claim it is incase I'm wrong and the newsletter does not include a reference;

'The Prophet (pbuh) was once asked "Can a Muslim be a coward?". He replied "Yes". He was then asked "Can a Muslim be a miser?" and the reply was "Yes". The Prophet (pbuh) was again asked "Can a Muslim be a liar?". The Prophet (pbuh) replied "No! A Muslim can never be a liar".

I wont comment on the issue of taking an oath on the Qur'an as I'm a relatively new revert and inshaAllah the links above have helped you with that aspect of your post. However, I would ask you to take the above lesson and apply it, oath / no oath. Come clean with your wife. As a sister I can tell you that inshaAllah she will, in the long run, respect you more if you tell her the truth. It takes real strength of character to put up your hands and say "I've done wrong" - especially if its not as a result of being caught out! This simple act will show your wife you want to change. Explain to her that you feel like you've drifted away from the deen but you are determined to put Allah first and you are want to change just not for the sake of your marriage but also for your own sake. Ask her to forgive you and inshaAllah she will see your sincerity and humbleness and do just that. InshaAllah.

Brother - we have all drifted from the path - it's if we work hard to get back on it and stay on it that matters!! :) Ask Allah to forgive you and help you through this.

Just my opinion though :)
 
R

rtbour

american muslima
Asalaamu alaikum.

You need to turn to the right path and never stray away from it again. If you want to keep your wife, open up to her and cry and tell her honestly how you feel about the bad things you have done and tell her how much you love her and don't want to lose her. Do it as many times as you need to. After that, if she accepts you back, you need to consider it your last chance. I say this because I have been in your wifes situation and I know that the more mistakes the husband makes, the harder it gets to accept his apologies and believe his apologies. At some point, if you keep going back and forth between good and bad, you will lose your wife. There is no question about that. I am not trying to scare you or make you upset, but I want you to hear it from someone who has been on the other side of a problem like yours. If your wife really loves you, she might find the energy in herself to try one more time with you. But she wont be able to keep trying if you keep hurting her. Please be careful with her and try to fix your relationship with her and with Allah. I'll pray for you, brother.
 
I

IN NEED OF HELP

New Member
SAD.....

Salaam Zainali,

I am so ashamed of what I been doing. If my wife was to do the same, I would be devastated and probably never forgive her. So I would not blame her for not forgiving me.
I have always been proud that I stay away from most haraams Like Alcohol, drugs, backbiting and other things. The only thing that I have always struggled with is women. I feel like I can never get enough of women. For me it is not the s*x or anything like that, for me it is more about the chase and thrill of meeting a new person. Whenever I have commited haraam, I always feel like sh**t.

I am not trying to make excuses but I have been told by various sheiks that I have black magic put on me by family members, because mashallah Allah (swt) has blessed me with a good job, car, my own place and a beautiful wife and a baby daughter that I would die for. I have beent told that I have magic put on me, so i can not progress in my sucess and that I get divorced no matter, how many times I get married.
I am not sure if this is true or it is my own naafs that gets the better of me.

All I know that I need to change and stay changed and not go backwards.

May Allah (swt) allow me to worship and obey him in the way he desrves to be worshipped and obeyed.

I am not sorry for the way I have been cos I got caught, as me being silly was a while ago now and I have not been that way since. I am truly sorry from the heart and I have been trying hard ever since to be a good husband. It was my fate to get caught for what I done in the past, as whenever you commit harram, you always get caught, no matter how clever u think u are.
Maybe for me it's a bit late but inshallah, I don't wish divorce on my worst enemy. Pls people save guard urselfs and dnt be in my predicament....

Salaam
 
I

IHearIslam

make dua 4 ma finals
Assalaamu Alaikum:D

I dont really know what to say...

may Allah make all your affairs easy for you!ameeen

inshaAllah, I'll keep you in my duas

Allah hafiz now and alwaayyysss
 
saima abdullah

saima abdullah

my life iz 4 Allah
may Allah help u brother
but telling lie is not permit able u should repent............. may Allah makes things easy for you
 
Muslimah16

Muslimah16

ServantOfAllah*
:salam2: my brother in faith

May Allah help you.
Just promise yourself that you'll NEVER go down that path ever again, and ask Allah the almighty to help you to help you stay steadfast.
MashaAllah you realised your mistake, so try and rectify yourself and stay away from whatever weakens your Imaan.

Have a safe journey inshaAllah when you do go for Hajj and please do pray for us.

May Allah help us all. Ameen

Wassalam
 
Muslim18

Muslim18

Blessed Muslimah
:salam2:

I will make dua for you brother this sounds like shaytan taking advantage and whispering to your naafs dont let him, you know your biggest trail --->women what you need to do after you acknowledge what you have done is wrong is to ask Allah sincerly to forgive you wake up in the last third of the night and pray and cry to Allah to forgive you inshaAllah once you make a promise with Allah that you wont return to this sin you have to make the necessary ACTIONS to prove you really want forgiveness words are nothing without baking up with Actions.....

So cut of opportunities that present themselves like dont speak to women unnecessarily, try to lower your gaze, try fasting from your desires and naafs, spend more time with your family play with your kids and talk to your wife explain to her your troubles and TELL HER THE TRUTH she will appreciate you more for that later though it might not seem like it, try not to go in detail with telling her that will crush her more, just try reassure her and tell her whats different and what you will change and make a promise with her that you will never do anything like it again try and reassure her its not her fault she may feel its all her fault......

Just remember whatever steps lead to evil cut them while they are minor like at the looking stage or even talking, Remember Allah rewards the patient and those who struggle so if you struggle with anything just know it holds rewards and say Alhamdulilah you have a wife to fulfill your desires some men dont, you have a beautiful wife home be grateful for what Allah has blessed you with, The nafs ruins a man with wanting more and more but more never satisfies you long term think of the eternal pleasures rather than these short term 'thrills' and you will understand and keep away inshaAllah.

Sorry its lengthly hope everything works out have hope in Allah and all will be well.

:wasalam:
 
Munawar

Munawar

Striving for Paradise
:salam2:
I pray to Allah (SWT) that He help you in this matter. Ameen.

I wouldn't recommend to lie specially by putting your hand on Quran.

It all depends on your wife if she is a forgiving person and you are sincerely asking for forgiveness then she might.

Ask your local Masjid's Imam or a sheikh who both of you know and respect.

InshaAllah you will be allright.... Just stay away from haram now.
:wasalam:
 
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