question about hijab from not-so-long revert

[Elise]

Sorry I accidentally posted it in 'Sisters only' at first, so I copied it here, didn't know how to move a post...

Salaam 'aleikum,

I have "joined" Islam, so to say, about half a year ago. Now I want to wear proper hijab but am troubled at the same time... I have worn it a couple of times outdoors, and have no trouble with it. I get no strange looks where I live (Amsterdam is quite an open and accepting city), only sometimes the question why I chose Islam, but that doesn't bother me and I like telling people why, so that they can learn about Islam too. The only thing is... I still live with my mother and when she sees me with hijab she starts crying, sometimes quite heavily too. That hurts me so deeply inside. I cannot stand to see her cry and I try to explain and then she says she does accept it, but she still gets really upset. I cannot go out with her wearing hijab, and we go out together a lot; days out, shopping, weekends away, etc. A couple of times now I've worn hijab when she didn't know, I put it on when she had left or on the gallery of our flat. But it feels so hypocrite to wear hijab one day and not the next. I'm really troubled.... Should I continue wearing hijab like this untill she accepts, or wait with hijab altogether until she does so I can wear it fulltime? It feels even worse to sometimes wear it then to not wear it at all.....

Really need some advise from reverts who maybe went through the same, and I know it is only for Allah (swt) that I wear it, but my mother won't listen to an argument like that anyway...
Please help me I really don't know what to do (btw, I do, in any case, always wear hijab when I go to the mosque).

thank you, wa salaam,
Elise

 

[MutlekM]

:salam2:
[yt]ZWueNl6na5E[/yt]
I hope this helps.

 

[Elise]

Thanks for the film, I had already seen it, it is very good but unfortunately no help with my mother... and that's the problem. She doesn't believe in God, any God, period. Only in people. So, Bible-arguments don't help, safety-arguments don't either... I already dress modestly in general, but I always did that, so my mother doesn't understand why that 'extra piece of cloth'... My problem is I for now cannot wear it in front of her, should I continue to do it in secret when she's not with me, so that I sometimes wear it, sometimes not, or wait till she accepts it and will be able to wear it fulltime...?

 

[Hudda]

Thanks for the film, I had already seen it, it is very good but unfortunately no help with my mother... and that's the problem. She doesn't believe in God, any God, period. Only in people. So, Bible-arguments don't help, safety-arguments don't either... I already dress modestly in general, but I always did that, so my mother doesn't understand why that 'extra piece of cloth'... My problem is I for now cannot wear it in front of her, should I continue to do it in secret when she's not with me, so that I sometimes wear it, sometimes not, or wait till she accepts it and will be able to wear it fulltime...?

:salam2: my sister in Islam. I had a friend at work who went through the same issue you are going through, Subhanllah her parents, believe it or not where muslims. but they thought due to customs she would not be able to get a suitable husbands if she wore hijab. But in her heart she knew she was doing the right thing. I will personally tell you what I told her. Hijab is not for your parents nor for any body but for Allah azawajal. This is a commandment from Allah and put your trust in Allah inshallah, Allah will make it easy for you. Pray to Allah azawajal and Bi-idmillah by the Grace of Allah azawajal, you mother will accept it. Be patient and do not hide. Say "Ya Karim, ya Karim, Ya Karim" before you confront your mother.. Do not argue, be polite and inshallah by the will of Allah, you mother will accept it. I truely believe this is a test for you from Allah, for you to pass you have to be steadfast and firm in your belief. May Allah make it easy for you and May Allah guide your Mother inshalah:tti_sister::tti_sister:
Jazakallah Wasalama Alaiykum

 

[Aisha hussain..]

:salam2:

same is the case with me my parents think i'll not get a suitable husband for me
but if Allah has written some 1 in my fate he will come if im wearin hijab or no
sister my parents are muslim but still my mom has not accepted me with hijab

what really matters is we go with the sunnah of our beloved Prophet Muhammad (saw) and listen to what Allah has said in the Qur'an


hope Allah bring's peace to you inshallah jazakallah khair :tti_sister:

 

[canab1973]

Wa,alaykum salaam wr wb my dear sister. First of all, hartlijk welkome to Islam. Moge Allah subhana wata,alaa guide you, me and all people in the right path always, forgive our sins, and grant us in his paradise amen. Second, I have seen some of my friends struggling with the same problem, but after a while their parents got used to their children wearing hijab; so sister, wear your hijab for Allah, and I ask Allah S.W. To make it easy for your mom to understand and Allah reward you for your steadfastness. Alles komt goed van jou Insha allah. Ik hou van je in the sake of Allah.

 

[Elise]

thank you for all the support. I think I will have a talk with my mother soon. Make her see that this is really really REALLY important to me. Insha'Allah that will help. I'll let you know in due time.

 

[lozzin]

Salem Alikoum dear sister,

I too am a revert and I want to tell you how brave you are to wear your hijab. I reverted just over a year ago and I only wear mine while praying and when I visit a muslim area in the city when we shop or at a brothers/sisters home when visiting. We live in a town where myself and my husband are the only muslims and he wears his Islamic clothing but I do not. I am ashamed of this, although I do wear modest clothes and try and wear a hat sometimes so that my head is covered,even though I know this isnt enough. My husband keeps saying I should cover and I know he is right but he also understands why I dont but I think the understanding is giving way to frustration at the moment. Sometimes I feel I am doing so bad in my deen that I feel I should give in because I have let Allah down anyway and will be punished
I just wish I had more sisters around me to give me the feeling of belonging but I dont,I have one sister who is about 10 miles away and dont see her too often.

May Allah give you the strength with your hijab,I will make dua for you for Allah to make things easier. Please remember me in your dua too but just remember that you are doing a wonderful job for now and people like me look upto you.

 

[sharazad]

Wa aleikum assalam sister

Am a newly reverted sister (6 weeks back) and am wearing hijab fulltime now Alhamdulillah and actually cant imagine not having it when leaving the house. My situation is different from yours; am living on my own, which makes it easier to make this transformation Alhamdulillah. Yesterday i met my mum for the first time wearing hijab, and i got a very surprised look and some peaks, but still, am proud of being a muslimah, and i care more about my relation to Allah is more important for me than my other relations..

Still i want to tell you to take your time, and youre on the right path and may Allah show you the way inshAllah.

 

[Hudda]

:salam2:Sisters I am honoured to be around all my sisters who are reverts. By Allah, I love you all for the sake of Allah and if any one of you want to communicate with me for support or guidance inshallah send me a mail off line and I will be obliged and humbled to advise/ support you inshallah

wasalaam

 

[alf2]

LOL! I am a revert Muslimah too

And I have the same problem. My parents HATE when I wear hijab, in fact..I wore hijab one day with my mum in a resturant and she tore it off my head, pins and all

May Allah (swt) guide you to the right solution, I wish I could be of more help.

 

[Latifabonu]

:salam2:
dear sister my mother was having the same situation.when she was young she was Christian but when she maried to my father she became a muslimah she was going to wear hidjab but my grandmother (my mothers mother)she did not accept it she said to my mother 'if u will wear hidjab don't come again to my home never!' my mother was so sad but she wear hidjab and she did not go to her mothers home 2yrs but after her mother accept it and came to our home coz she miss my mother after she did not accept me to wear hidjab but after some days she accept it!!! so dear sister any way even if ur mother do not accept it wear hidjab u r not wearing hidjab 4 ur mother or 4 urself u r wearing hidjab 4 Allah SWT May Allah help u my dear sister i will pray for u InshaAllah ur mother will accept it and will accept islam too Ameen!!!

 

[Elise]

Thank you all very very much

LOL! I am a revert Muslimah too

May Allah (swt) guide you to the right solution, I wish I could be of more help.

All your support, advice and the sharing of your stories helps a lot. I needed to feel strengened in my opinion on wearing hijab etc. and your responses helped Thanks everyone and good luck to those girls who are in a similar situation to me. I'll make dua for any girl who is hindered in wearing hijab and practicing her religion for the sake of Allah (swt). I hope I can soon be the proper, full-time hijabi I want to be

love you all,
Wa salaam

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

You sisters are strong. You must remember that. When we encounter Love we can not leave it. As I do not know your ages it is difficult to give you specific suggestions. However, it is your overall manners towards your parents that will open the door to acceptance. At all times be more respectful of your mothers. Love them with the eyes of Islam. Honor your mothers and tell them that your fear and love of Allah makes your love His creation. Explain to them you wear hijab as a reminder to yourselves of your ever increasing Love of Him. Your will is to obey Allah subhana talla. So do not hide from your parents nor fear them. Our fear belongs to Allah subhana talla.

Also as time goes on you will wish to spend more time with your Muslim sisters. It just happens. And they will wish that they would have been more understanding of your Love. Believers cling to each other.

 

[Tabassum07]

Oh sister, it must be so hard for you, but don't give up. Keep wearing hijab, even in front of your mother. She will not accept it the first day, nor probably for the entire first week, or first month. But then when she sees you steadfast in it, she will at least accept that she cannot change you. Keep making dua, I'll also make dua for you. Never give up. Remember you might die any second, what if you die without hijab on? This is something I always think to myself, which gives me strength and support. We wear hijab for Allah's sake.

same is the case with me my parents think i'll not get a suitable husband for me
but if Allah has written some 1 in my fate he will come if im wearin hijab or no

Yes, sister, its the same case for me.