Have not been here in forever. Some know my story some don't. My EX-Husband is muslim, we share 3 children. I have since remarried. He however has developed a friendship with another muslim woman whose children go to school with our kids. She accompanies him everywhere (beach, pools, etc.) with and without her kids from her previous marriage (she divorced her American atheist husband when she came back to her faith.) At first she claimed they were just playdates between the kids, but if her kids are not always present that is an untrue statement. She cleans his house and plays with our kids at times. Meanwhile, he is telling the children that and has told me that he plans to marry a woman from his home country Tunisia as soon as he can. I told him that for someone trying so hard to be a "good muslim" he is leading with a poor example. Is it permissible for him to be spending time with the Muslim woman HERE whom he claims he feels nothing for and is not interested in her at all (though I am CERTAIN she believes they will become more) without a guardian???? And especially since he is "betrothed" to another? He argues that the children qualify as chaperones for them and that he is within his faith. I, as a christian, think that he is showing blatant disrespect to both women and confusing the children. What say you?
Question about mingling of sexes.
- Thread starter diane_k
- Start date
- Status
Seeking Allah's Mercy
Qul HuwaAllahu Ahud!
hey diane!!
i don't think we need to do a lot of work or pull out a fatwa on this.it is this clear.
NO matter what he feels or feels not for the other lady.it's haram for a muslim man to get this frank with a non mahram lady and vice versa.she is not in the mahram list explained in the Quran and he has no valid reasons to do what he's doing.however if he asks you for refernces and back up you will get a lot here
i don't think we need to do a lot of work or pull out a fatwa on this.it is this clear.
NO matter what he feels or feels not for the other lady.it's haram for a muslim man to get this frank with a non mahram lady and vice versa.she is not in the mahram list explained in the Quran and he has no valid reasons to do what he's doing.however if he asks you for refernces and back up you will get a lot here
Hey there Sakeena.....
I have never been better!!!!! I am married to an amazing Christian Man and life has been so sweet and blessed. We are expecting a son together in the next 3 weeks (naming him Caleb Daniel). I am surrounded by so much peace in my life now that I have broken away from ex-husband. There is friction between he and I but because my husband Dan is so understanding and loving I know longer let the ex get me down. Kids adjusted well despite their father trying to create division and talk poorly of my husband. Kids are bright, they can see through his motives. How are you?
I have never been better!!!!! I am married to an amazing Christian Man and life has been so sweet and blessed. We are expecting a son together in the next 3 weeks (naming him Caleb Daniel). I am surrounded by so much peace in my life now that I have broken away from ex-husband. There is friction between he and I but because my husband Dan is so understanding and loving I know longer let the ex get me down. Kids adjusted well despite their father trying to create division and talk poorly of my husband. Kids are bright, they can see through his motives. How are you?
hey diane!!
i don't think we need to do a lot of work or pull out a fatwa on this.it is this clear.
NO matter what he feels or feels not for the other lady.it's haram for a muslim man to get this frank with a non mahram lady and vice versa.she is not in the mahram list explained in the Quran and he has no valid reasons to do what he's doing.however if he asks you for refernces and back up you will get a lot here
I would love some verses that support this. His hypocrisy astonishes me. Thanks!
Assalaam walaikum,
If you have peace in your life, be grateful. Congratulations on the marriage and the new life you are going to be blessed with.
You have it good at this time. Whatever the ex is doing let him be. He has to face the consequences of his actions. And keep in mind if the circumstances are what you say they are it is temporary. Never bad mouth your ex in front of the kids...I know it is hard, trust me.
Alert your ex to the fact that you are concerned about the possible haraam he is exposing your very young children. And drop it. Concentrate on your new life and the good in it.
Whenever you see the "other" woman.be kind to her. She will, Insha'Allah wake up and not be too hurt. However, you can not advise her and have to let it be.
I pray this gives you some solace and peace.
If you have peace in your life, be grateful. Congratulations on the marriage and the new life you are going to be blessed with.
You have it good at this time. Whatever the ex is doing let him be. He has to face the consequences of his actions. And keep in mind if the circumstances are what you say they are it is temporary. Never bad mouth your ex in front of the kids...I know it is hard, trust me.
Alert your ex to the fact that you are concerned about the possible haraam he is exposing your very young children. And drop it. Concentrate on your new life and the good in it.
Whenever you see the "other" woman.be kind to her. She will, Insha'Allah wake up and not be too hurt. However, you can not advise her and have to let it be.
I pray this gives you some solace and peace.
I am always kind to her. I just feel bad for her and his actions. But I also note their arrangement is not in the best interest of the kids. To see their father leading one woman on all the while intending to marry another. And how would the woman in Tunisia feel knowing he is alone with the woman here. I do not bad mouth him around the kids though I do have to deal with him doing so to the children. The kids like my husband but Ramzi struggles with being afraid his father will spank him for going to Kings Dominion or wherever else with my current husband. He is really being torn.
Gernada1492
A Muslim
SPEECHLESS!!!
We muslims really need to be muslims
We muslims really need to be muslims
revert2007
Love Fishing
Well sister you said it is your EX.And now you are married to another man who is a christian and you said you are living a happy life.What your EX is doing now is wrong Islamicaly.His kids cannot be counted as mahram as they are still underage.But I do not know the reason for your worries as he is your EX.
Sister Aapa have said well.
Your EX has his own life now and let him do whatever he wants as it is between him and Allah.If you are still his wife,then you have the rights to question but now I am afraid the rights has gone.
I am just concern about your kids.They are not being raised as Muslims?
Allah knows the best.
Assalamualikum
Sister Aapa have said well.
Your EX has his own life now and let him do whatever he wants as it is between him and Allah.If you are still his wife,then you have the rights to question but now I am afraid the rights has gone.
I am just concern about your kids.They are not being raised as Muslims?
Allah knows the best.
Assalamualikum
I only wish for him to live the life of the muslim he claims he is. Not pick and choose. I guess it is because he likes to rip me up one side and down the other in co-parenting counseling with truths he has made up in his mind about me and not actual facts. I wish to expose his own hypocritical mindset to him and point out that he is not within his faith so how dare he judge mine.
He made me miserable for years about being a muslim and living to his standards yet he, again, falls short and blatantly so. He questions our Christian values but my husband would never put himself in any situation that would be a poor witness to me. And the Ex is being a poor witness to his kids in regards to this issue....not just in the eyes of islam but as well as christianity.
My children are raised as Muslims on the weeks they have with their dad. At my home on my weeks I am allowed by the court to have them attend Sunday School at church while attend services. My children enjoy that as well. It is my hope that as they grow older they will be able to choose for themselves whichever faith speaks to their heart. If they chose to be christian I will be so happy for them, if they chose Islam I will love them still and that is what I want them to know. But the kids are curious about my faith and love bible stories. We agreed in our last mediation NOT to disparage each others faith to the kids, which I do not do. But I expect their dad to live up to what he claims to be.
In addition, I do not want my daughters to see his behavior and not expect better from a future husband.
Sakeena
Junior Member
Hi sister Diane!!
Oh, I'm good alhamdulilah. But wait sis Diane... are you still Muslim? Your married to a Christian man, too?? I can't tell if ur joking or not agghh
I'm meeting someone special this afternoon who I look forward to spending the rest of my life with inshallah, if Allah (swt) blesses us with a happy and successful Islamic union. 
I'm so excited!! 
Ooh, you divorced ur Muslim hubby? When did that happen... I don't think I was on TTI when that transpired sis (some time during late September of 2008 to early January of 2010... I was gone all that time subhanAllah... and I missed all my brothers and sisters... 
I love you sis Diane so muchh muchhh!! *hugs* I'm so sorry to hear of ur anguish... want some cheesecake dearo???
Oh, I'm good alhamdulilah. But wait sis Diane... are you still Muslim? Your married to a Christian man, too?? I can't tell if ur joking or not agghh
I'm meeting someone special this afternoon who I look forward to spending the rest of my life with inshallah, if Allah (swt) blesses us with a happy and successful Islamic union. I'm so excited!! Ooh, you divorced ur Muslim hubby? When did that happen... I don't think I was on TTI when that transpired sis (some time during late September of 2008 to early January of 2010... I was gone all that time subhanAllah... and I missed all my brothers and sisters... I love you sis Diane so muchh muchhh!! *hugs* I'm so sorry to hear of ur anguish... want some cheesecake dearo??? Oh, I'm good alhamdulilah. But wait sis Diane... are you still Muslim? Your married to a Christian man, too?? I can't tell if ur joking or not agghh
I made a mistake when I attempted to save my marriage to the Ex and become a "muslim".....my heart nor soul was in it. It was my last effort to get him to treat me better and save the marriage. Didn't work. I am happy now as a christian. I am in church every Sunday and thanking God daily for the blessings that have opened up to me. I am glad the ex is out of my life. There is no fighting, no stress in my world.
Sakeena
Junior Member
But....I remember when you said shahadah and everything... I went through the roof! And still to this day, I haven't been able to repair it :lol: Oooh sis, okay, but ur still our sister inshallah. We still love you muwaah!! *hugs*
Hello sister in humanity Diane,
I see that fellow brothers and sister have assisted you on your query about intermingling of sexes. I hope it works out well for you InshaAllah.
It is very refreshing and pleasing to read that you are deeply concerned about upbringing of your children in the right environment. This is something that we muslims value highly as well.
I would like to take this opportunity to ask you about your knowledge about Islam as a religion. Have you read about Islamic monotheism (Tawheed) which was the true message of all messengers of Allah (Peace be upon them all) ?
All these noble men called their people/nation towards 'La Ilaha Illa Allah' (There is no deity worthy to be worshiped other than Allah). We as muslims are followers of our beloved messenger Prophet Muhammad (Peace and blessing of Allah Almighty be upon him) who called to the same message of monotheism ie belief and worship of Lord of Heaven and Earth - Allah.
You can read more here -
Muslim Belief and the Declaration Of Faith
Learn About Allah, The One and Only God, The Creator and Sustainer of the universe
The below is an elaborate thread about the beliefs that muslims hold :-
Belief in Allaah (subhaanahu wa ta'aala)
Lastly, the true message of Jesus (Peace be upon him) according to our scriptures -
The Status of Jesus in Islam
I would encourage you to consider Islam as a way of life which is the religion of true submission to Allah Almighty and will be the cause of salvation in the Hereafter.
Please ask us any questions or queries you might have about Islam. We will try to answer to our best capabilities.
I pray that Allah Almighty guides your heart towards Islam & makes it easy for you. Ameen
Have a nice day !
I see that fellow brothers and sister have assisted you on your query about intermingling of sexes. I hope it works out well for you InshaAllah.
It is very refreshing and pleasing to read that you are deeply concerned about upbringing of your children in the right environment. This is something that we muslims value highly as well.
I would like to take this opportunity to ask you about your knowledge about Islam as a religion. Have you read about Islamic monotheism (Tawheed) which was the true message of all messengers of Allah (Peace be upon them all) ?
All these noble men called their people/nation towards 'La Ilaha Illa Allah' (There is no deity worthy to be worshiped other than Allah). We as muslims are followers of our beloved messenger Prophet Muhammad (Peace and blessing of Allah Almighty be upon him) who called to the same message of monotheism ie belief and worship of Lord of Heaven and Earth - Allah.
You can read more here -
Muslim Belief and the Declaration Of Faith
Learn About Allah, The One and Only God, The Creator and Sustainer of the universe
The below is an elaborate thread about the beliefs that muslims hold :-
Belief in Allaah (subhaanahu wa ta'aala)
Lastly, the true message of Jesus (Peace be upon him) according to our scriptures -
The Status of Jesus in Islam
I would encourage you to consider Islam as a way of life which is the religion of true submission to Allah Almighty and will be the cause of salvation in the Hereafter.
Please ask us any questions or queries you might have about Islam. We will try to answer to our best capabilities.
I pray that Allah Almighty guides your heart towards Islam & makes it easy for you. Ameen
Have a nice day !
Hello sister in humanity Diane,
I see that fellow brothers and sister have assisted you on your query about intermingling of sexes. I hope it works out well for you InshaAllah.
It is very refreshing and pleasing to read that you are deeply concerned about upbringing of your children in the right environment. This is something that we muslims value highly as well.
I would like to take this opportunity to ask you about your knowledge about Islam as a religion. Have you read about Islamic monotheism (Tawheed) which was the true message of all messengers of Allah (Peace be upon them all) ?
All these noble men called their people/nation towards 'La Ilaha Illa Allah' (There is no deity worthy to be worshiped other than Allah). We as muslims are followers of our beloved messenger Prophet Muhammad (Peace and blessing of Allah Almighty be upon him) who called to the same message of monotheism ie belief and worship of Lord of Heaven and Earth - Allah.
You can read more here -
Muslim Belief and the Declaration Of Faith
Learn About Allah, The One and Only God, The Creator and Sustainer of the universe
The below is an elaborate thread about the beliefs that muslims hold :-
Belief in Allaah (subhaanahu wa ta'aala)
Lastly, the true message of Jesus (Peace be upon him) according to our scriptures -
The Status of Jesus in Islam
I would encourage you to consider Islam as a way of life which is the religion of true submission to Allah Almighty and will be the cause of salvation in the Hereafter.
Please ask us any questions or queries you might have about Islam. We will try to answer to our best capabilities.
I pray that Allah Almighty guides your heart towards Islam & makes it easy for you. Ameen
Have a nice day !
Oh I have been there and done that...I just wanted some specific information I can provide their father to show how his behavior is unacceptable to even his faith. I thoroughly studied Islam and was forced to live in its rules for 8 years of a tumultuos and exhausting marriage. I believe I am just where I am meant to be now.
Sakeena
Junior Member
Do you still love us sister Diane?
Oh Sakeena.....so many of you were so kind, others were rigid. I have adapted the I.S.L.A.M. motto that my church and Joel Rosenberg have dubbed I Shall Love All Muslims......because through my love for each and everyone, I may be able to show them the love that Christians are instructed to show to all mankind. And that that love will lead one more person to salvation....not through compulsion but through love and example....so ofcourse I love you.
However, it is increasingly difficult for me to find any kind of AGAPE love for the Ex.
Sakeena
Junior Member
Wow sis Diane ur so kind, I wish my Christian family would follow ur example dearo inshallah!! Awww *hugs*
I love you too Diane!! Diane, I remember you! I'm so happy you broke away from him, and congratulations on the new marriage and baby
I stepped away from the word of God in marrying the Ex and as such that marriage would never be blessed. And now I have blessings overflowing and a shared love of our lord and putting HIM first in our marriage. And in putting HIM first God has blessed us. I hope you are well!!! What is new with you?
- Status