question about multiple wives
- Thread starter q8penpals
- Start date
- Status
Ahmedkaafi
Junior Member
1. no
2. no
its so painful if ur husband will marry or have another wive (wives)... Me myself experience this things,even though my husband not yet getting or marrying for his second wife..but he told me he will marry again... it makes me cry always,until now...
sister realy u have a lucky if ur Husband saying that he will be marry,u have to know it, there is a lot of men those r hiding what they r doing Fanauudi Billah for that,any way the man has not some things to hide for his wife(wives):salam2:
aaminah
Junior Member
i agree with you bro ahmedkaafi, in non-islamic world, you will find a lot of married men(est 8 out of 10 men) with other woman(secret concubine) and illegitimate children. there are also many old or sick women abandoned by their husband because they fell in love with another woman. Maybe it's because the nature of man is being supressed unlike with Islam. Allah swt truly knows what's best for all of us. Also, I think muslim men will love his wife more when he sees how much his wife can give and endure for the sake of Allah swt.
q8penpals
Junior Member
Salam
I think this was an interesting comment - just because something is allowable, doesn't mean we Muslims HAVE to do it. Meat killed in a correct manner is halal - does that mean there should not be any Muslim vegetarians? Meat is halal, so do we HAVE to eat meat?
In my opinion, just because poligamy is allowable doesn't mean a person HAS to like it or has to participate in it; the only thing one cannot do is say it is not allowed.
Humbly,
Lana
justoneofmillion
Junior Member
Assalam,who told you that women back then were stupid?or dou you think that these ones are smarter than the formers? why Are you trying to make them believe so dear brother? i guess you really wanna marry(joke)inschallah but bro come on don`t throw down the arms so quickly it is still doable nowadays ,inschallah,hold the banner bro!the muslims then were more successful then we are it is true!
I agree with brother Mr Muslims post,Faith is the antithesis of narcissism,though they often flirt with each other, like in this case,to challenge our consciense,and tease our emotions.
It is not compulsory to have more than one wife and that is well known, but it is a possibility that in certain circumstances could become a platform for a good deed .
We are only guests for a very breif periode of time in this life yet we keep clinging to our greed unconsciously maybe, be but we keep doing it....Tomorrow is not a promise,solidarity is much needed in this Ummah,flexibility is required,eventough self sacrifice and sharing have become such strange things to this world,aren`t we the ones who are supposed to be reminders?
From the smallest to the biggest entity of the ummah,from the gouvenments to the most ordinary muslim,how are we expecting things to change if we do not change?
I personally would not be too quick in answering "no".just look at the widows in irak and afghanistan......
ps.Brother user expired Luv ya
fo the sake of Allah swtOh culture oh culture.......
p.p.s do not want any comments saying quote"nice try!"joke
Let me eat now.
Wassalam
Jameel
Assalamu-alaikum
:salam2:
:salam2:
I agree with you on this, sister. If TALAAQ is permissible and halaal it doesn't mean that its encouraged or muslims should like it.
kayleigh
Junior Member
salaam,
This thread is pretty entertaining...
I'd like to say that if you're a woman who doesn't want to share your husband, and you think you'd be jealous - there's nothing wrong with that. You're just a normal, well balanced woman.
Allah made it permissible...but we're also supposed to follow the Prophet's (saw) example too. and that was to, for the most part, marry women who were widowed or abandoned or too old. It was because there was no social support system for women in that day, and if they didn't have men to take care of them, the were as good as dead. Which is why I think most men are doing it for the wrong reasons, and why social support systems set up to take care of women who are unable to support themselves is a fantastic idea (but that's a whole 'nother issue...).
Unless you're doing it to take care of a woman with no means of support, then I don't think it's right, and I wouldn't consider that marriage to be a good example of a polygamous relationship, or following Muhammad's (saw) example.
I don't think it should be a goal for any brother to want more than one wife, either, especially for those single brothers who have yet to find ONE wife. Don't be greedy - thank Allah for what you have. absolutely no one NEEDS more than one wife. It is not a necessity for the man - it is a necessity for the woman in certain cases. This law/rule was, in my opinion, put forth for a woman's protection, not for a man's indulgence.
That said, could people please chill out about someone saying women in the past were stupid? It is a well known fact that women in the past were, for the most part, not educated, and didn't receive the same education as their male counterparts. If a family had money to educate their children, boys got the first priority. Islam did change this for the most part and was truly revolutionary when it came to women's rights at the time, but for a long time (and still today) Islam thrives in cultures and communities where people are unwilling to or are financially unable to educate their daughters, and if money is tight, priority still goes to the males. and he is right - women today are more outspoken than women of the past, which I think is the main point he was trying to get across. Now, women aren't forced into it, because they're stronger and more outspoken. I'm sure he didn't mean to say that all women are stupid.
This thread is pretty entertaining...
I'd like to say that if you're a woman who doesn't want to share your husband, and you think you'd be jealous - there's nothing wrong with that. You're just a normal, well balanced woman.
Allah made it permissible...but we're also supposed to follow the Prophet's (saw) example too. and that was to, for the most part, marry women who were widowed or abandoned or too old. It was because there was no social support system for women in that day, and if they didn't have men to take care of them, the were as good as dead. Which is why I think most men are doing it for the wrong reasons, and why social support systems set up to take care of women who are unable to support themselves is a fantastic idea (but that's a whole 'nother issue...).
Unless you're doing it to take care of a woman with no means of support, then I don't think it's right, and I wouldn't consider that marriage to be a good example of a polygamous relationship, or following Muhammad's (saw) example.
I don't think it should be a goal for any brother to want more than one wife, either, especially for those single brothers who have yet to find ONE wife. Don't be greedy - thank Allah for what you have. absolutely no one NEEDS more than one wife. It is not a necessity for the man - it is a necessity for the woman in certain cases. This law/rule was, in my opinion, put forth for a woman's protection, not for a man's indulgence.
That said, could people please chill out about someone saying women in the past were stupid? It is a well known fact that women in the past were, for the most part, not educated, and didn't receive the same education as their male counterparts. If a family had money to educate their children, boys got the first priority. Islam did change this for the most part and was truly revolutionary when it came to women's rights at the time, but for a long time (and still today) Islam thrives in cultures and communities where people are unwilling to or are financially unable to educate their daughters, and if money is tight, priority still goes to the males. and he is right - women today are more outspoken than women of the past, which I think is the main point he was trying to get across. Now, women aren't forced into it, because they're stronger and more outspoken. I'm sure he didn't mean to say that all women are stupid.
shahidah123
Junior Member
In this blessed month of Ramadhan , while reading the Al Quran, i came across this verse Surah Al Ahzab ayat 36 :
"It is not fitting For a Believer, man or woman, When a matter has been decided By Allah and His Messenger, To have any option About their decision:If anyone disobeys Allah And His Messenger, he is indeed On a clearly wrong Path."
See Comment 3721 . We must not put our own wisdom in competition with Allah's wisdom. Allah's decree is often known to us by the logic of facts. We must accept it loyally, and do the best we can to help in our own way to carry it out. We must make our will consonant to Allah's Will.
Something for us to think about & digest.
"It is not fitting For a Believer, man or woman, When a matter has been decided By Allah and His Messenger, To have any option About their decision:If anyone disobeys Allah And His Messenger, he is indeed On a clearly wrong Path."
See Comment 3721 . We must not put our own wisdom in competition with Allah's wisdom. Allah's decree is often known to us by the logic of facts. We must accept it loyally, and do the best we can to help in our own way to carry it out. We must make our will consonant to Allah's Will.
Something for us to think about & digest.
justoneofmillion
Junior Member
Assalam, subhanallah, ya hafiz ya sattar ,good luck.
What do you mean by women are more outspoken nowadays does education mean literacy in your mind ?
Stronger!!!in doing what?getting naked in magazines,jumping up and down in bars and clubs, modelling in what!!!the first martyr of Islam was a women....some of your statements are covering a much brighter spectrum than they should. am afraid....
ps.And when you will have a husband inschallah tell him to chill out,respect yourself,please!!
wassalam
Jameel
aeeshafarhana
New Member
Salam sis and bro...
The problem is that how can he have another wife if me his 1st wife he cannot give the things that a husband give to his wife... what i mean is his salary is not enough to have a two wives...he's responsibility to me is not enough but im contented with it,im helping him in all our expenses because i love him...
The problem is that how can he have another wife if me his 1st wife he cannot give the things that a husband give to his wife... what i mean is his salary is not enough to have a two wives...he's responsibility to me is not enough but im contented with it,im helping him in all our expenses because i love him...
aeeshafarhana
New Member
yah sis i said that to my husband if ever he wants to marry again, and then im against/doesnt agree to his dicision but if he insist, i have the right to ask for a divorse....but he said i myself dont have the right to ask for a divorse when the case is only having another wife.women can only ask for a divorse if the husband cannot make his responsibilities and adultery..its only the man who has the right to divorse, is it correct???is my husband correct to the things he said...pls help me...thanks
just remember, noone was more poorer than resulullah s.v.s. Remember when one beduin came and took resulullah s..vs by his shirt which hurt his neck. The sahaba wanted to jump him because of that. The beduin asked "ja muhammad give me of the wealth of Allah" so resulullulah s.v.s told sahaba to give him until he is happy. So when the beduin came in the house of resulllulah s.vs. he saw that there was nothing. So, depending how much sisters are satisfied you know? But sometimes sissters want to much dunya now days. Wallahu alem
Assalamu alaykum
q8penpals
Junior Member
Salam
Not condoning that there are women who want EVERYTHING, I don't think it is unreasonable for a woman to want her own home, however so humble, and if anyone knows anything about the world-wide financial climate right now, one knows it is very hard for a major portion of the world to afford a home right now (and I am not talking mansions, just basic homes). If a man can't afford one home, how could he possibly afford two?
My husband got his inheritance from his father's death, and while it was a pretty generous inheritance, he still can't afford to buy ONE house in Kuwait for he and I, let alone buying two houses so another wife would have one as well.
And, please everyone, I am sure the poster who stated about women "being stupid" didn't intend the post the way it sounded. "Uneducated" may have been a better word (meaning that women IN GENERAL did not have opportunities for formal education in the "olden days"), which does not necessarily make a person "stupid".
Remember, it is difficult to explain in typing what exactly is being meant. I think we need to forgive anyone who has accidentally offended anyone - after all, it is not just Ramadan, but the last 10 days of Ramadan.
Humbly,
Lana
kayleigh
Junior Member
haha...husband? lol why on earth would I want one of those? well, not for another ten+ years.
But anyway, I think it's pretty obvious if you look at history that women have no problem saying what's on their mind now days. For a long time the rule was to be seen and not heard. The woman's place was in the kitchen and she shouldn't be outspoken anywhere else. Mind you, I'm not talking about Muslim women particularly, I'm talking about women in general. Now, you have women presidents and prime ministers - even just a hundred years ago, most women wouldn't dare attempt such a thing. They wouldn't even think of being that outspoken.
When I say stronger, I mean that I'm possitive women were pressured into a polygamous relationship in some cases. Not all, maybe not a majority, but SOME. Now we have women who say no. They put their foot down and they won't do it. I also mean that in the past, polygamous relationships were a financial necessity. It was a marry or die situation because there was no way a woman could support herself. Now, in many places of the world, this isn't the case anymore. Women can obtain the same education as a man, and even the same jobs (depending on what part of the world you live in). The female in the past was largely dependent (weaker). Now, if it is necessary, or sometimes by choice, the female can be purely independent (stronger). The term "weak" isn't meant to be an insult in this case, but rather a classification, and pointing out exceptions to the rule doesn't really do anything. Most of this, I would say, is a product of culture, natural social evolution, and advances in technology and education. Which is exactly why I stated in an earlier post that women of the past weren't stupid - they were products of their culture and time.
as for your little "ps" portion, I find it highly insulting and extremely hypocritical that you would tell me salaam after an ignorant message like that. But whatever, it's Ramadan, so I'm not even going to completely address it or get into it. It wouldn't do any good to anyway.
- Status