question about multiple wives

[al-fajr]

:salam2:

You have spoken for all of womenkind apparently without much experience of interacting with women, you are not married by your own reports. Frankly by stereotyping and overgeneralizing you make yourself appear to be harsh and prejudicial...not exactly the ideal Muslim male

(hmph.....thankyou samiha)

hmm if a guy had posted what i posted..i think id be really angry! Anyway youve got a point there, the MAJORITY of girls i spent most of my time with so far...have been non-muslim (not out of choice) so my views have developed accordingly, i certainly did not mean muslimah's in my post, i thought that was apparent - evidently not.

Salaam,

I apologize for confusing the gender of Sister Isra. But now given this information and viewing the post in that light I am more disturbed but the generalization I read.

~Sarah

..yes i was generalising, I should have made myself more clear, i mean women who dont have Islam, women who dont recognise the way in which they are treated and allow themselves to be reduced to such lowly status. Its something that drives me crazy , forgive me, but i see it every day, and most of the time i feel really sorry for them, other times I think maybe i should go help them out and give them a hijab lol..dunno how they would take that but maybe i'll try it at some point...anyway my apologies for causing offence.

 

[Isir]

Salam

Most of the questions/discussions posed on the topic of multiple wives have had to do with whether the women would want their husbands to TAKE a second (or more) wife. So, I was thinking about it the other day and wanted to post a couple different types of questions.


For the women:

1. Would you ladies be willing to be a second wife?

2. If yes, would you continue to marry the man as a second wife if you KNEW the first wife was against him marrying you?

And for the men:

If you KNEW your first wife is against you having a second wife, would you still marry a second (given the opportunity)?

Just some thoughts - and NO I am not trying to change any rulings that God has put forth, I am just interested in what actual human beings would do in the situations.

Lana

1. NOOOO, I rather be single for the rest of my life than be a second wife.

2. NOOOOOOOOOOO!, Thats just disrespectful man i would never do such thing. What kind of man does that to his wife, if i was the first wife i would divorce the dude for even mentioning it.

 

[Akilah]

:salam2:
1. Perhaps. Not what I want for myself, but Allah knows best. but opinin wise then I'd say no.

2. no. That would be wrong. I would not want to be hurt in that way, so why would i hurt another sister in that way?!

 

[Ahmedkaafi]

Asalamu alaikum

Nice topic in my side, my father had three Wives and i am youngest boy all of my family,my two brothers have also two two wives. Alhamdulilaah we r very very big family, and i am going to have some kids to make + from 2 0r 3 wives insha_allah, may be some our sisters have not understood why Allah allowed men to have 1- 4 wives.

 

[aaminah]

Nice topic in my side, my father had three Wives and i am youngest boy all of my family,my two brothers have also two two wives. Alhamdulilaah we r very very big family, and i am going to have some kids to make + from 2 0r 3 wives insha_allah, may be some our sisters have not understood why Allah allowed men to have 1- 4 wives.

MashaAllah! I dream to have a very big family too wherein everyone helps each other to be better muslim everyday.
1. InshaAllaah Yes.
2. InshaAllaah No.

 

[dna1987]

^ MashAllah, you have been brought up in a healthy polygynous Islamic family, and the concept does not sound strange at all. It's got to do with all the social conditioning we go through as we grow up.

But that also doesn't mean that every single Muslim has to participate in a polygynous marriage - it should remain an option for when the Muslim female population is much higher than the male one (not really that big a problem today..perhaps in the near future millions of Muslim males will be executed by enemies lol).

I don't think any sister or brother has said that this is not allowed, they have merely expressed their personal opinions on what they would do with respect to the questions asked in the original post... yet there are still some "omgosh, are you suggesting it's haram?!" posts that came outta nowhere!

 

[abdul ghaleeb]

I HAVE NO SUCH FANTASY. I AM INSULTED BY SUCH A STUPID COMMENT!

Very Beautifully said sister!!!! Couldn't have been said ANY better... You are very right!

I really feel what you are saying. People these days just spit out comments and don't know the weight of their words. They really should think twice and not jump the gun.

It's good to have people like you these days and on the site to remind and also educate some very naive people.

Wasalaam.

asalamualaykum,

Listen to me people dont let ur emotions get in the way!

Abdul Ghaleeb i find ur statemenst about
'women in the modern age aren't stupid as they are back then and have found the brains to stand up from being taken advantage of'

Is hard to believe just look at all the so called Femininst movements and how they started... they went so extreme that they started to dress like men!

U have to repent brother as u made a mistake in public maybe due to ur lakc of understanding of the seen or maybe due to ur emotional situation of ur parents, but u have to understande that just cos ur family had sum problems doesnt mean everyone elses family is the same.

In Islam it is not Mandatory to have more then one wife but in our Shareeah it is declared to us by Allah (swt) it is halal! so we cannot not make the Halal to become haram jst because of theis nonsense about wmoen becoming more independent and blah blah..

first All praise, wonder and worship is due Allaah(swT) the Creator, The nourisher, the Sustainer, The uncomparable, The Irresistable,The most supreme
and second peace and blessings be upon his Messenger Muhammed(saws)

:astag: Some of you memberss on this website are grumpy like old grannies

chill out okay..............
im juz a slave(and im only 17) and my words are just a from a slave and my opinions are just opinions of a slave and in the end will shall all be brought back Our Lord who shall judge between us all.

I repent to Allaah(swt) and i ask for him more guidance

 

[aseel]

salam!

yes i would be a second wife, if the man and his wife had fallen out of love but he wanted to stay only to support her .

i would only want my man to have a second wife for the same reasons as the prophet(pbuh) i would be proud !
but i would not agree with a physical relationship between them unless maybe i was very old and or could not have children!

but i know if i was in that knid of situation i would hate it at first but i think after i would gang up with the second wife on the man if he did things wrong !
hehe

 

[danial]

Some of you memberss on this website are grumpy like old grannies

way to go making the situation worse. come on man, u have to weight out n give a thought about what u say before posting ok. what u've said may have offended ppl. pls dont make the situation any worse man. firstly u SEEM to be insulting women. secondly u SEEM to insult men who support the feminist view such as myself.

 

[abdul ghaleeb]

All praise, wonder and worship is due Allaah(swT) the Creator, The nourisher, the Sustainer, The uncomparable, The Irresistable,The most supreme
and peace and blessings be upon his Messenger Muhammed(saws)

no ...your the one making things worse by calling me stupid
chill out okay..............
im juz a slave(and im only 17) and my words are just a from a slave and my opinions are just opinions of a slave and in the end will shall all be brought back Our Lord who shall judge between us all.

and u put words in my mouth
i never insult no women nor man
u were the one who called me the insult!!!!!
get your facts straigt

how bout everyone juz calm down. were getting all fired up for nothing

juz chill out and relax

we selaam

 

[IslamIsLight]

salaaam alikom,

I think a lot of people answering based on personnel opinion even though its big scrify from one sisters for another sister in Islam .

I am not saying that I will marry 4 lol let me first marry one will be enough for me insha Allah.

the brothers who can marry another sister he will be a support for another sister , may Alla help him, and the first wife will have reward if she let her husband do it for sake of helping another sister, she will be Helping her sister in ISLAM ...

sisters may want to beat me for saying all the above, but this is the beauty of islam, when we as Muslim get the selfishness out of our heart...

When the prophet peace be up on him migrated from Makkah to Madinah he told the Anssar(people of Madinah) who ever have 2 wife to divorce one so his brother Mohajreen (migrators from makkah) marry her.


I will just reminde sisters who can help other sisters, this the ultimate sisterhood...and test for sisters.

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Allah knows best

salam aleikum
Im not againts polygamy or anything.I agree 100% what Quran says
But for u guys its very easy to say this .......but only woman can understand that its not easy
And I better not continue on this subject
waaleikum salam

 

[aeeshafarhana]

1. no
2. no
its so painful if ur husband will marry or have another wive (wives)... Me myself experience this things,even though my husband not yet getting or marrying for his second wife..but he told me he will marry again ... it makes me cry always,until now...

 

[muharram23]

selaamu aleykum

as a 17 year old male speaking it would be every guys fantasy to have a multiple wives but i don think its realistic and workable in todays world.
women in the modern age aren't stupid as they are back then and have found the brains to stand up from being taken advantage ofd. Elhemdulilaah for that...


also my parents just had one of each other and couldn't stop from ripping the other's throats out and got divorced...
it isnt justice for me to speak on this question :would you condider taken a multiple wives? because im too young and havent even got even one wife to speak

final point: its a nice fantasy to have multiple wives but marriage is hard work and after seeing my parents marriage fail i cant see even managing one wife

we selaam

You calling the wives of the prophet stupid? Apparenlty, they are of the past, and yes they used their brains way better than women today. Remember that aisha r.a. narrated most of the hadeeth. May Allah forgive you for saying that women nowadays can use their brain. Before women were raising mujaheedeen. Who spread the islam all around the world. Women now a days are raising engineers, doctors, etc. but not muhadetheen, muffaserreen, talibul 'ilm, nor mujahideen, which costs us alot. Wallahu alem

Assalamu alaykum

 

[muharram23]

haha, that made me laugh.

I dont think I would call women of the past stupid, as that implies a kind of insult, but certainly uneducated compared to today's women, and products of their culture and time. But I think I know what you're trying to say...women are usually more outspoken today, and yes, alhamdullilah for that lol

sorry sis but that wasnt funny what he said, he should ask Allah s.v.a for forgivness.

 

[muharram23]

1. NOOOO, I rather be single for the rest of my life than be a second wife.

2. NOOOOOOOOOOO!, Thats just disrespectful man i would never do such thing. What kind of man does that to his wife, if i was the first wife i would divorce the dude for even mentioning it.

Ummm how about resulullah s.v.s. So, you would wanna divorce resululullah sv..s if you were his wife. Not only would you be 2nd, but how about 3,4,5,6 and so on.

 

[muharram23]

salam aleikum
Im not againts polygamy or anything.I agree 100% what Quran says
But for u guys its very easy to say this .......but only woman can understand that its not easy
And I better not continue on this subject
waaleikum salam

Sister this is normal that a sister is jelous. Jelousy is part of human nature. Aisha was jelous of resulullah s..vs. always mentioning khatijja r.a. other women were jalouis of aisha cause resululllah s..vs like her more than the rest. But that should not let us from practicing our deen how it should be practiced. The way of resulullullah s.v.s and his companinons. They were called the best generation, then the once after them and the once ofter them. So, poligamy was practiced during their time and should be practiced now. May Allah .s.vs improve us and make us firm in our deen. and Allah knows best

 

[Gatsby]

dear abdul ghaleeb. as u have seen. NUMEROUS members have quoted ur comments. and the quote ur comments DISAGREEing with what u have said coz they seem somewhat insulting actually.

brother danial DID NOT call u stupid. he said your COMMENT was. probably he thought that your comment was simply insensitive to ppl's feelings. i have to agree with him there.

and u yet again, u said that he said u insulted ppl. yet again, i have to tell u tt he DID NOT say u insulted ppl. he simply said U SEEM to insult ppl.and yet again, i kinda have to agree with him because the words u choose SEEM TO offend both males n females.

tti is a place of peace...so please stop the argument. brother danial is maybe to sensitive? well, brother abdul, u too have to watch ur comments too. lets keep TTI peaceful.

 

[bi'idhnillah]

:salam2:


1. N O !!!!!

2. A B S O L U T E L Y N O T !!!!!


:blackhijab:

 

[dna1987]

Ummm how about resulullah s.v.s. So, you would wanna divorce resululullah sv..s if you were his wife. Not only would you be 2nd, but how about 3,4,5,6 and so on.

Salam alaikum. Come on. All the sisters (and brothers) here know that there is not a single person on this planet or anyone even after the time of the Prophet (saw) who is as good as him - so you can't really compare sisters saying "NO" to polygynous marriage to today's men with the Prophet (saw)!!

And others, try lay back with the angry replies at abdul ghaleeb's one post. Nothing to start a war over.

 

[dawahforever]

Asalaamu Alaikum

Polygamy is not just for financial support. YOu can't say well they can get welfare (or get a job) and therefore they are ok. Just like a first wife, a widow or divorcee needs love and affection. The gov't can't give her that.

Wa Salaamu Alaikum
D4E