Question for converts

[Ashima33]

Salaam Alaikum,

I'm not trying to exclude anyone, but I'm really only interested in responses from converts because I really just need to hear advice from people who know about this from experience. This is a topic that is extremely ssensitive to me and I just need to know how converts have dealt with it in the past.
In my new muslim class yesterday we had our discussion on the hereafter... I was doing okay until he started talking about what happens to our bodies in the grave vs. what happens to non-muslims bodies. I really don't want to talk about what was said... but I just want to know how people have dealt with this in relation to their families.
How do you deal with your feelings of family alive and deceased being non-muslim and thinking about the hereafter. We couldn't even get through the rest of the discussion because I was so upset just thinking about my family. To people who were born muslim they don't have to worry about it in the way converts do, because it is said that all muslims will eventually go to heaven after being cleansed in the hellfire...
I really don't think I'm ready to learn all about the hereafter right now. I thought I was... but I don't think I can take it all right now. I can handle thinking about what will possibly happen to me, but it's my family that I can't bear the thought of. Even if I just read about paradise I can't handle it because all I think about is the fact that my family may not be there with me. And I'm going to be honest... and I hate that it does this... but learning about the hereafter actually makes me have doubts. I know that for some people it may confirm things for them... but for me it creates doubt. I can't think about these things without feeling nauseous and tearing up... So I really need some help from some fellow converts... and I am not meaning to exclude born muslims... but right now I just don't think I can be fully open to their response. Please forgive me if this seems rude... I really hope to change this.

Thank you.

 

[bropart]

:salam2:

MashaAllah, you have a very loving heart for your family. I am alhamdulillah born a muslim, but I never really thought about this often. Because it never occurs to me that I am sure I will be in heaven. I even dont know whether I'll still be a muslim if I die. We don't know a thing in this world or the here after, the future and so many other stuff(makes me realize how low our intelegence is). But there is only one thing that we can do, that is ikhtiar... do our best for Allah. Because only He can make the things as we want.

We try and do everything to get it as we want, right? But that is all in the hands of Allah. Even if we planed and worked for 1000 years, without the will of God, it will wont be possible. So, I would just like to advise you to make a du'a and if possible tell the greatness of Islam to everybody you know. And Insha Allah, with Gods will, everybody you love can join you in paradise.

:salam2:

 

[BigAk]

I am very curious as to you have heard in the class.... I often wondered where some of these scholars get their info about the hereafter... Much of the details they talk about does not exist in the Quran.. I am not sure that the prophet Muhammad (pbu) has talked in such details about the hell fire. All I know that he talked about Allah's mercy on His creation and how easily He admits them into Paradise from merely simple righteous acts that end up erasing much of their sins.

I am hoping someone knowledgeable would chime in on this topic.... I wish we had someone like brother Shabir Ally on here to enlighten us.

I think brother Rashadi is your best bet... You may want to PM him.

Rashadi.... Where are you??

.

 

[BigAk]

In the mean time, calm down.... until more credible knowledge becomes available.



.

 

[Um Ibrahim]

Salaam Alaikum,

I'm not trying to exclude anyone, but I'm really only interested in responses from converts because I really just need to hear advice from people who know about this from experience. This is a topic that is extremely ssensitive to me and I just need to know how converts have dealt with it in the past.
In my new muslim class yesterday we had our discussion on the hereafter... I was doing okay until he started talking about what happens to our bodies in the grave vs. what happens to non-muslims bodies. I really don't want to talk about what was said... but I just want to know how people have dealt with this in relation to their families.
How do you deal with your feelings of family alive and deceased being non-muslim and thinking about the hereafter. We couldn't even get through the rest of the discussion because I was so upset just thinking about my family. To people who were born muslim they don't have to worry about it in the way converts do, because it is said that all muslims will eventually go to heaven after being cleansed in the hellfire...
I really don't think I'm ready to learn all about the hereafter right now. I thought I was... but I don't think I can take it all right now. I can handle thinking about what will possibly happen to me, but it's my family that I can't bear the thought of. Even if I just read about paradise I can't handle it because all I think about is the fact that my family may not be there with me. And I'm going to be honest... and I hate that it does this... but learning about the hereafter actually makes me have doubts. I know that for some people it may confirm things for them... but for me it creates doubt. I can't think about these things without feeling nauseous and tearing up... So I really need some help from some fellow converts... and I am not meaning to exclude born muslims... but right now I just don't think I can be fully open to their response. Please forgive me if this seems rude... I really hope to change this.

Thank you.

:salam2:,

I know this forum is only for converts and I'm not a convert but I just have to say this...hopefully it will help you. First of all keep in mind that not everyone who call themselfs Muslims actually act according to Islam. Because someone says "I'm Muslim" does not gaurantee them paradise. On the contrary, being Muslim means submitting oneself entirely to Islam, and following it wholeheartly. There are so-called Muslims who don't pray, don't even believe it is required to pray:astag:, drink alcahol, eat pork, have illegal sex, and do every evil thing you can imagine...now tell me, are those people even considered Muslims? those kinds of people are not those who Allah gauranteed paradise. We Muslims who are born and raised as Muslims also worry about some of our family members who are not on the right path even though they say they are Muslim but only by mouth. All we can do is make du'a for our families and loved ones.

My dear sister in Islam, I would tell you to be patient in learning the religion. You are new and trust me you have so much to learn. If you read the Quran, you will find in many verses that even Prophets, such as Lud, and Nuh(Noah) were told that their families were not their families because they were disbelievers and that they would be with those who were destroyed.

Verse 45, sura Hud: And Noah called upon his Lord, and said: "O my Lord! surely my son is of my family! and Thy promise is true, and Thou art the justest of Judges!"

Verse 46, Sura Hud: He said: "O Noah! He is not of thy family: For his conduct is unrighteous. So ask not of Me that of which thou hast no knowledge! I give thee counsel, lest thou act like the ignorant!"

Please dear sister, If you, yourself are new to the religion, then that means you have to gain knowledge first and then invite your family to Islam. That's all you can do. Please fight against shaytan because it is he that makes you feel negative feelings and creates questions in your head about the hereafter and other things that you're not even sure about. You don't know if your family will join you in becoming Muslims. You don't know what will happen in the future..please fight the shaytan and ask Allah for more guidance and strength in your Iman. May Allah help you. May Allah lead your family to the truth: Islam..Amin

Please don't take this the wrong way, I only posted on this forum because I thought maybe I can be of some help and maybe some of the things I had to say can be of benefit to you. Forgive me if I said any offensive things or anything which came across in the wrong way, that was not my intention at all.

:salam2:

 

[Rashadi]

Salaam Alaikum,

I'm not trying to exclude anyone, but I'm really only interested in responses from converts because I really just need to hear advice from people who know about this from experience. This is a topic that is extremely ssensitive to me and I just need to know how converts have dealt with it in the past.
In my new muslim class yesterday we had our discussion on the hereafter... I was doing okay until he started talking about what happens to our bodies in the grave vs. what happens to non-muslims bodies. I really don't want to talk about what was said... but I just want to know how people have dealt with this in relation to their families.
How do you deal with your feelings of family alive and deceased being non-muslim and thinking about the hereafter. We couldn't even get through the rest of the discussion because I was so upset just thinking about my family. To people who were born muslim they don't have to worry about it in the way converts do, because it is said that all muslims will eventually go to heaven after being cleansed in the hellfire...
I really don't think I'm ready to learn all about the hereafter right now. I thought I was... but I don't think I can take it all right now. I can handle thinking about what will possibly happen to me, but it's my family that I can't bear the thought of. Even if I just read about paradise I can't handle it because all I think about is the fact that my family may not be there with me. And I'm going to be honest... and I hate that it does this... but learning about the hereafter actually makes me have doubts. I know that for some people it may confirm things for them... but for me it creates doubt. I can't think about these things without feeling nauseous and tearing up... So I really need some help from some fellow converts... and I am not meaning to exclude born muslims... but right now I just don't think I can be fully open to their response. Please forgive me if this seems rude... I really hope to change this.

Thank you.

Salaam Aleykom sister, I use to worry about that too but I later realized something. In Islam no one is "saved" or can say "I am going to heaven and you're going to hell". This is not an Islamic concept and even born Muslims still have responsibility and do not for sure know that they are going to jannah or that they have a free ticket. You also have to keep in mind that that the Prophet(saaws) said in many hadeets that Allah(swt) is more mercieful to us than a mother is to her infant. So no one will suffer unjustly and you should also bear in mind that Islam is submisson to the will of God and every one is born in submission and no one will enter hell or be punished unjustly. Allah is the most wise and all knowing. He is the true judge and we will not have to worry about "oh I hope the judge is in a good mood today" because this is our Creator Allah Subhana wa Ta'ala. We can see from the Quran how merceiful He is and also from the Sunnah and from this creation.

Believe it or not, even the arrogant kafirs, disbelievers, atheists, etc still taste his mercy and you will see many of them financially successful and they want to live in this dunya forever and for such this world is their jannah. Everyone will receive what one desires, and strives for. If one is totally pleased with this temporary dunya and only wants this world, such person will receive that. However, if one desires the good and lawful things of this dunya and wants the good of the hereafter, such person should make the sincere effort and strive for that. Allah is the most merceiful and only He decides who will be punished and no one will be treated unjustly or unfairly.

I no longer worry about that and I know me, my family, and everyone will get what we deserve. Some times some scholars can go too far and become judgemental and I have learned to avoid such people because everyone has a equal responsibilty in this life. It wouldn't be fair to say that someone who is born to a Muslim family in a Muslim country will go to jannah even if he/she did not do their job, yet someone who is "non-Muslim" will go to hell regardless. This is for Allah to decide and there are people who have never heard of Islam or the only access they had to it is from false sources or maybe only knew Muslims who were not a good example but they are still sincere, and if they knew Islam they would accept it. However, if a person is arrogant, hurting others, has no mercy for others and knowingly rejects and chooses to follow his own desire, is such a person really good? It is Allah who guides people and as much as I love my mom but she says bad things about Islam and I leave because I can't take it but I know Allah is merceiful and she will get what she deserves and will not be treated unjustly.

Also keep in mind that in the Quran Allah tells us that on the day of judgement no will be worried about others but everyone will be worried about him/herself. In this dunya, we worry, and we care but we can't help others whom Allah doesn't guide. He knows us best and He is never unjust to us. He will never leave a sincere person in darkness or punish an innocent person for not knowing something. So my sister, as a revert, I know exactly what you go through because I did so too. I didn't know any Muslims, my family is not Muslim and I had to rely on Allah and put my trust in him. Keep in mind that anything that a scholar says and it contradicts with Quran or Sunna can't be true. My advise to you my sister is to ask Allah to guide them and have mercy on them. I do so and I feel good when I do. I be honest with you, in my case, those I know aren't even good people yet I still ask Allha to guide them and have mercy on them but at the same time they will get what they deserve and I will too.

Take it easy sister and do not stress yourself out because remember how mercieful Allah is to us and how even the arrogant kafirs who will eat an apple, which Allah created, yet still reject Him knowing that He is our Lord, and He is even mercieful to such. I look at some of the Atheists and it takes me only a few minutes to figure out what they really all about and some of them are so arrogant and only follow their own desires, yet even they are tasting the mercy of Allah. However, the person who worships this dunya instead, is arrogant and only wants the greed and things of this life, Allah still gives to them. I see it with my own eyes. Many kafirs live for a long time, are financially stable and Allah tells us that this is like jannah for them. I would recommend that you relax and do your part as a Muslim. Make duah for them, and remember how mercieful Allah is and they will only get what they deserve. Even our brothers and sisters who were born into Islam go through hardships and still are responsible. I have never learned a practicing and learned born Muslim who thinks he is good to go or believes his family will all go to Jannah.

This is up to Allah and I find Muslims the most humble people I have ever seen. You should watch lectures by Yusuf Estes who was a Christian preacher and I learned a lot from listening to him. He made it is clear during one lecture where he was asked about salvation. He said that no one will have done enough on the day of judgement to deserve the Jannah that Allah has created and promised to us. But we hope that he will make our short comings up for us and have mercy on us. He is the most merceiful and each person will be treated justly and get the reward we deserve. I hope I was of some help to you, inshaAllah.

 

[gazkour]

Assalamo alikom wa rahmato Allah wa barakato

Dear sister,

I'm a convert and all my family is new born christian and believe me sister, I know what you are talking about.

There are some verses or hadiths that make me fear about my family, but also remember sister that there are so many more verses and hadiths that emphasize how merciful Allah is.

What we read and know about who's going to Hell or Heaven is just some guidance and "clues" so we do our best, but that doesn't mean we are able to understand the notion of Allah's Mercy.

Sister, that's the way I think: Allah cannot and will not be unjust to anybody, that's the only thing we know for sure!

I also think that if inshaAllah I'll go to Jenna, the only thing I would ask Allah to grant me is to have my family there with me. It is said that Allah is going to give us everything we ask for and more!! So, why not!.


Allah knows best sister, this is just the way I deal with it.
May Allah guide us and forgive us all.
May Allah guide our families to the truth.

Assalamo alikom wa rahmato Allah wa barakato

 

[PARVEZ SHAHIDI]

Salaam Alaikum,

How do you deal with your feelings of family alive and deceased being non-muslim and thinking about the hereafter. We couldn't even get through the rest of the discussion because I was so upset just thinking about my family. To people who were born muslim they don't have to worry about it in the way converts do, because it is said that all muslims will eventually go to heaven after being cleansed in the hellfire...
I really don't think I'm ready to learn all about the hereafter right now. I thought I was... but I don't think I can take it all right now. I can handle thinking about what will possibly happen to me, but it's my family that I can't bear the thought of. Even if I just read about paradise I can't handle it because all I think about is the fact that my family may not be there with me. And I'm going to be honest... and I hate that it does this... but learning about the hereafter actually makes me have doubts. I know that for some people it may confirm things for them... but for me it creates doubt. I can't think about these things without feeling nauseous and tearing up... So I really need some help from some fellow converts... and I am not meaning to exclude born muslims... but right now I just don't think I can be fully open to their response. Please forgive me if this seems rude... I really hope to change this.

Thank you.

:salam2:

Sister, our prophet felt the same way you are filling. That is why he prayed to Allah SWT night after night crying so that every body are saved from hell fire including his relatives. And during day time he would call them towards Islam even though they teased and tortured him.

Dear sister, saitan is playing with your mind telling you, see this is not a good religion, it dose not care about your family your relatives. Defeat saitan.

Sister, call your family, your relatives and invite them towards Islam even if they hang up on you, get angry with you, tell you not to call them any more, do not get angry with them invite them again and again to Islam. I can tell you, it will not be easy. And pray to Allah SWT for help but please do not have doubts.

Now, please do not get angry with me for giving you advise.

 

[Ashima33]

Salaam Alaikum,

Thank you so much for all your words of assurance, and reminding me to remember to trust Allah. I think this is what I need to be reminded of the most. I do think shaytan knows this is one of the subjects that makes me the weakest and he is taking advantage of it.
I still do not think I am ready to look at certain things involving the hereafter, but when I do... what do you reccommend I look into? I would like to stick to the main sources. The Quran and Sunna. Or, I guess any trusted scholar lectures you would reccommend? Thank you again, I am feeling better today because of ALL of your words... converts and born muslims =)

 

[BigAk]

Salaam Alaikum,

Thank you so much for all your words of assurance, and reminding me to remember to trust Allah. I think this is what I need to be reminded of the most. I do think shaytan knows this is one of the subjects that makes me the weakest and he is taking advantage of it.
I still do not think I am ready to look at certain things involving the hereafter, but when I do... what do you reccommend I look into? I would like to stick to the main sources. The Quran and Sunna. Or, I guess any trusted scholar lectures you would reccommend? Thank you again, I am feeling better today because of ALL of your words... converts and born muslims =)

Your statement in red is what I have been sticking to all my life. If there is anything left, the prophet Muhammad (PBU) would have covered it during his time on earth. Before his demise, he uttered that "today I have completed to you your religion and have given you my blessings and acknowledged the truth in Islam as your religion" (please forgive my poor translation - I know it in arabic). To me, this means that I do not have to go further to any scholar that may add or subtract ideas from his head to this religion. I have the Quran and the sunnah and that is all I need.

I urge you to do the same.... Scholars; afterall are humans like you and me, and they are prone to exaggerating, making mistakes and interpreting things wrongly. Use the Quran and the sunnah and ask Allah for guidence.

I am glad you're feeling better.

.

 

[yakubpasha]

Asak Sister,

The way you feel is exactly how i feel( reagarding the sadness part). I am a born Muslim. I grew up in a non Muslim country. Most of my friends are non muslims. I have some 'best ' ( we can have more than 1 best friend i guess )friends since childhood, who are like my brothers. I love them a lot and i keep talking to them about heaven/hell religion etc. I feel the same pain that someone so close to me may not go to heaven and i imagine what bad things may happen to them in hell.

And i have a friend who is a born muslim but not really practicing. I feel the same pain for him/ he enjoys this world and doesnt think of the hereafter.

You are not sailing alone in that boat. Prophet Mohammed (PBUH) had 9 uncles but only 2 accepted Islam( please correct me if this is wrong) so this shows that Giving hidayat is in the hands of Allah.

You can keep praying for them be nice to them and explain about Islam and inshallah they will be guided to the right path.

I have been very frustrated at times when i tell my friends about Islam and no one listens. So i know it can be frustrating/painfull.

Like others said this is shaitan who will play with your mind. He knows every person is emotiaonal towards his/her family so he will touch on the weakness.

Keep reminding yourself eveyrday that this world is a challenge for us.. Inshallah Allah will guide your family and strengthen your iman

 

[yakubpasha]

Remember, sister, that God says in the holy Quran, "Verily God does not do an atom's weight of injustice" (4:40). Also remember the hadeeth of the prophet, peace be upon him, "God has one hundred mercies. He uses one of them in this life and has saved ninety nine for the hereafter!"

After the flood drowned all the disbelievers, Noah, peace be upon him, called upon God saying, "Lord, my son is one of my family and Your promise is true." (11:45) I could almost see the sadness on his face. Noah was referring to God's command to Noah to include his family in the arc, (11:40). God replied to Noah saying, "He (Noah's son) is not of your family; he is not a good work." (11:46).

The prophet, peace be upon him, loved his uncle, Abu-Taalib. The man was his main support and the prophet grew up in his household like one of his children. He begged him to say the Shahaada on his death bed but Abu-Jahl kept urging him "not to abandon the religion of Abdul-Muttalib!" and he died a disbeliever. The prophet said, "The least tormented one in the hellfire is Abu-Taalib!" Can you imagine how sad the prophet felt when he said that?

Finally, you can take comfort in God's words, "Verily, those who believed, those who turned to God with humility, the deist and the Christians, those who believed in God and the hereafter and did good, there shall be no fear upon them nor do they grieve." (5:69)

Hope this helps.

Asak

I thought I would add a comment on the ayah above which is often misquoted. In many places in Quran Allah Subhanawatala has said that those who commit shirk will have a painful punishment and the Ayah below does not contradict it. Many have used this Ayah to say that even the Christians and Jews will go to Jannah if they do good work. This is wrong as people fail to understand the part "whoever believes in Allah". Here believing in Allah means 'La Ilaha Ilallah". Therefore it is referring to some Jews and Christains before Prophet SAS who believed in the Oneness of Allah Subhanawatala and few of the recent times who still believe in Oneness of Allah and has NOT received the message of Prophet Muhammad SAS. Believe in the Prophethood of Prophet SAS is a fundemental requirement to get an entry into Paradise. It is also very important to believe that he is the last Prophet (This takes the Qadiani and Nation of Islam out of the fold of Islam). Those who have not received the message of Prophet SAS but believes in" La Ilaha Il Lallah" - Allah with His infinite Mercy may enter them in Jannah - Allahu Alam

 

[~Ali_]

Assalamualaikum sister, this thread is a day old and im not sure wethaear u need reassurance or not but indeed you are not sailing alone - im a born muslim, yet my mother and father both put there life on the line of a witchdocter when things get too tough.......... and my brother is agnostic so.. lol.. i know the feeling ... it sux.. but heres where the beauty of it all... its out of our hands sister we are about as useless as we can get, sure we can go around say dont do this do that - but at the end of the day who can guide them? ofcourse Allah swt.
Walaikumasalam.

 

[xSharingan01x]

I am very curious as to you have heard in the class.... I often wondered where some of these scholars get their info about the hereafter... Much of the details they talk about does not exist in the Quran.. I am not sure that the prophet Muhammad (pbu) has talked in such details about the hell fire. All I know that he talked about Allah's mercy on His creation and how easily He admits them into Paradise from merely simple righteous acts that end up erasing much of their sins.

I am hoping someone knowledgeable would chime in on this topic.... I wish we had someone like brother Shabir Ally on here to enlighten us.

I think brother Rashadi is your best bet... You may want to PM him.

Rashadi.... Where are you??

.

The most concise and useful piece I read about the hereafter was by Ibn Kathir.
In his "The beginning and the End" he had a section on hereafter along with events leading up to the day of Judgment. It's worth reading.
Unfortunately I wasn't able to read the whole book since it's very long and I couldn't find a translation. If you want to buy the individual section I think you can find them at Dar Us Saalam publication's website.

Here is the link.
http://www.dar-us-salam.com/store/m...tore_Code=Dus&Product_Code=205&Category_Code=