Regarding shaking hands with women

[malishaheen]

:salam2:

I am a student in london , and i shook hands with women a couple of times when they offered to shake hands with me , but i felt guilty after that ,as i know that it is haraam in Islam to touch a woman,
so my question is,,
how should react if she offers to shake hands without making her feel that i am being rude or something ,
i want to create a good impression about Islam , not to turn them away from it ,

 

[abdul-allah]

assalamualikum warahmatullahy wa barakatu

brother u care about having reputation in ths world or hearafter, with what face will you go in front of Allah and his messenger (PBUH) that to give a good impression to Islam you did what is not premissable in Islam .

Prophet Muhammed (SAWS) said :
it is better to get ur head hammered by a nail then shaking hamd with any women ( except mahr ) .

so i request u to just say them salam directly then shaking hand .

hope it helped you

 

[Ashima33]

Salaam,

If I were you, and a woman holds out her hand for you to shake it and you don't want to.. I would look them in the eye and smile very quickly, and then lower your gaze while holding up your hand over your chest or something as if you were "obliged". I think looking them in the eye and smiling shows that you're trying to be friendly, but lowering your gaze is showing you're modest and respectful. This was done to me before I converted, and I didn't know exactly what was going on, but I somewhat got the picture and wasn't offended or anything. Just kinda thought at first, "Maybe he's shy!"

Hope this helps. =)

 

[malishaheen]

thanks for the replies ,
and thanks for the Hadith , i was not aware of that bro ,,

yes I am worried about the true life after death bro , but i want to attract others to Islam as well , as you know ,, many people are turning towards islam nowadays , it is because they are being aware of the true beauty of Islam , and thats what i want to show them ,,atleast i will try to ,,

thanks and JazaakAllah khair to you ,,

 

[muthmainnah]

Ruling on shaking hands with the opposite sex
Is it allowable for a muslim woman to greet a muslim man by shaking hands?


Praise be to Allaah.

For a man to shake hands with a non-mahram woman (one to whom he is not related) is haraam and is not permitted at all. Among the evidence for this is the hadeeth of Ma’qal ibn Yassaar (may Allaah be pleased with him) who said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘If one of you were to be struck in the head with an iron needle, it would be better for him than if he were to touch a woman he is not allowed to.” (Reported by al-Tabaraani; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 5045).

There is no doubt that for a man to touch a non-mahram woman is one of the causes of fitnah (turmoil, temptation), provocation of desire and committing haraam deeds. No one should say that their intention is sound or their heart is clean, because the one who was the purest of heart and the most chaste of all, the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) never touched a non-mahram woman, even when accepting bay’ah (oath of allegiance) from women. He did not hold their hands when accepting their bay’ah, as he did with men; their bay’ah was by words only, as was reported by his wife ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her). She said that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) would test the believing women who emigrated to him with the aayah (interpretation of the meaning): “O Prophet! When believeing women come to you to give you the bay’ah (pledge), that they will not associate anything in worship with Allaah, that they will not steal, that they will not commit illegal sexual intercourse, that they will not kill their children, that they will not utter slander, intentionally forging falsehood (i.e., by making illegal children belong to their husbands), and that thye will not disobey you in any ma’ruf (Islamic monotheism and all that which Islam ordains), then accept their bay’ah and ask Allaah to forgive them. Verily Allaah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” [al-Mumtahinah 60:12] ‘Aa’ishah said: “So whoever of the believing women agreed to these conditions, the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) would say to her: ‘I have accepted your bay’ah by words.’ By Allaah, his hand never touched the hand of any woman when accepting their bay’ah; he accepted their bay’ah by saying ‘I have accepted your bay’ah on this basis.’”

(Reported by al-Bukhaari, 4512; according to another report: he accepted their bay’ah by words… the hand of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) never touched the hand of any woman except a woman he owned . Reported by al-Bukhaari, 6674).

Some Muslims feel too embarrassed to refuse when a woman offers her hand to them. In addition to mixing with women, some of them claim that they are forced to shake hands with fellow-students and teachers in schools and universities, or with colleagues in the workplace, or in business meetings and so on, but this is not an acceptable excuse. The Muslim should overcome his own feelings and the promptings of the Shaytaan, and be strong in his faith, because Allaah is not ashamed of the truth. The Muslim could apologize politely and explain that the reason he does not want to shake hands is not to offend or hurt anybody’s feelings, but it is because he is following the teachings of his religion. In most cases this will earn him respect from others. There is no harm done if they find it strange at first, and it may even be a practical opportunity for da’wah. And Allaah knows best.

Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

http://www.islamqa.com/en/ref/2459/shake hands

 

[BigAk]

I live in the US myself... It is a constant struggle to do the right thing. I can truly see why we call it Jihad.. By Allah it is harder than anything immaginable.... I try... Allah is my witness.

Currently I do shake hands with women when the chance forces itself.... But, before I come to this bridge, I admit that I have to correct other things that I do in my life that take higher priority than a mere hand shake.

I would be the biggest hypocrite if I refuse to shake some western woman's hand while for instance I have a mortgage on my home. May Allah help me and strengthen my iman.... Ameen.

.

 

[Moataz G]

Prophet Muhammed (SAWS) said :
it is better to get ur head hammered by a nail then shaking hamd with any women ( except mahr ) .

dear brother this is not the right statement of the hadith, you must watch carefuly the words, and unfortunately this is due to the bad arabic-english translation of some people, the right statement of the hadith says:

it is better to get ur head hammered by a nail than 'touch' a woman who is not 'halal' for you.

and some religion scientists interpreted touch here as fornication and not the hand touch (i mean here the meanning and concept of this hadith).

but there is a clear haidth 'prophet Muhammed (pbuh) said" I do not shake hands with women".

for me indeed i started newly not to hand women but i couldnt refus handing if someone handed me i still can not handle this problem i admit that.

 

[Smile]

if these women who offer to shake their hands with you will notice by time that you dont offer to shake ur hands with women then problem solved , all what is needed is that you practice it infront of people so then they will know what u accept and what is not , and i realize how its difficult for both gender to not shake hands back esp if some1 offered for them , but then if people will know what is acceptble for u and what is not then they will learn how to treat u

 

[Asja]

Assalamu Allaicomu dear brother.

The shaking hands with non mahram is forbidnen(haram) in Islam Alhmadulillah.

If you came in the situacion brother that some non mahram women offer you to shake hand with her,you should call her salam and tell her that you are Muslim and that you can not shake hands with her because it is forbidnen in your religion Mashallah.
On that way you will pleased Allah,and give a correct image of our religion Islam.

May Allah subhan we tela guide us all.Ameen

 

[IHearIslam]

SAME HERE!!

:salam2:

I am a student in london , and i shook hands with women a couple of times when they offered to shake hands with me , but i felt guilty after that ,as i know that it is haraam in Islam to touch a woman,
so my question is,,
how should react if she offers to shake hands without making her feel that i am being rude or something ,
i want to create a good impression about Islam , not to turn them away from it ,

I usually do the same thing brother but the difference between you and me is that Iam a sister. I dont offer the hand shake but when men offer I shake then I regret astag. The last time I did this was few weeks ago when I went to the Capitol to visit the senetor for school purpose and he shook hands with all the students & offered one for me, even though I my inner self was saying this is HARAAM I still did it. :astag: I didn't want to do it inside but yet I GAVE in to SATAN :angryred:!May Allah help us in these situation! Ameen
But inshaAllah we will have to struggle with this matter for Allah's sake.
:salam2:

 

[nyerekareem]

:salam2:

i do not shake the hands of women because of the various ahadith that i have read on the matter. every now and then, maybe 2 or 3 years ago i was approached and shook her hands. it's a very uncomfortable feeling when someone offers and you deny them a handshake.

i worry about the fact that non-muslims really don't know about this ruling with us and i wonder about the denial of handshaking having a negative look on islam. i mean people know the basics that we don't eat pork, drink, and that we pray 5 times a day; but i wonder if it turns people off.

i know why we have the ruling, but what about the people that don't? is it possible that you shake their hand in that akward situation and pull them to the side that it's impermissible in islam, so that you could prevent it from happening next time? i'm thinking in terms of islam's image. i have no interest in shaking anyone's hand but i wonder about it. because i know that islam is a religion that never seeks to make the life of the believer difficult.

 

[salek]

you gave the best advice sister, thanks

Assalamu Allaicomu dear brother.

The shaking hands with non mahram is forbidnen(haram) in Islam Alhmadulillah.

If you came in the situacion brother that some non mahram women offer you to shake hand with her,you should call her salam and tell her that you are Muslim and that you can not shake hands with her because it is forbidnen in your religion Mashallah.
On that way you will pleased Allah,and give a correct image of our religion Islam.

May Allah subhan we tela guide us all.Ameen

i was just wondering how to aviod that. i found your advice the most appropriate one. jazakallahu khairan sister. may allah bless you.

 

[Asja]

i was just wondering how to aviod that. i found your advice the most appropriate one. jazakallahu khairan sister. may allah bless you.

Assalamu Allaicomu

Jazzak Allah khair dear brother Salek,and Inshallah my advice is usefull for you brother,and I hope that brother who asked will find it usefull too.

May Allah reword you

 

[Al-Kashmiri]

As-salaamu `alaykum.

One brother I heard talking about it suggested that you say to them, "Out of my respect for you, I am not shaking your hand". Perhaps that might help, who knows what the women is thinking if you say that. Offended or not, you're are not deliberately offending her... Perhaps by saying that, they might contemplate your answe and understand why. It could even be a form of da`wah... Allaah knows best. May Allaah make affairs like this easy for us, ameen.

 

[malishaheen]

thank you all for the replies bros and sisters,,
JZK,,

 

[yakubpasha]

When they are about to shake your hand go Achoooooo Achooo and sneeze on your hand and they will take their hand back

 

[malishaheen]

seems to be a good idea

 

[Munawar]

:salam2:
I have read somewhere that man's palms should not touch the woman's palm, so when a woman extends her hand to shake and if I cannot avoid then I use my 4 fingures and thumb and only press the lower part of her 4 fingures keeping the palm away.

Is this permissable? Does anyone know any ruling about it?

Salaam,

If I were you, and a woman holds out her hand for you to shake it and you don't want to.. I would look them in the eye and smile very quickly, and then lower your gaze while holding up your hand over your chest or something as if you were "obliged". I think looking them in the eye and smiling shows that you're trying to be friendly, but lowering your gaze is showing you're modest and respectful. This was done to me before I converted, and I didn't know exactly what was going on, but I somewhat got the picture and wasn't offended or anything. Just kinda thought at first, "Maybe he's shy!"

Hope this helps. =)

I will try this idea, specially since this is coming from a revert sister who can put herself in that other woman's shoes.

When they are about to shake your hand go Achoooooo Achooo and sneeze on your hand and they will take their hand back

Very funny brother. Hey! who know... this may work too. :ha:

 

[abulwafaa]

When they are about to shake your hand go Achoooooo Achooo and sneeze on your hand and they will take their hand back

LOL

very funny indeed

 

[IbnAdam77]

wa'alaikumussalam warahmatullahi wabarakatuh

This is truly a huge problem we face often not only in US, UK or in any other non-Muslim country, but here in the Only 100% Sunni Muslim country in the world also. I came through with this problem in some very critical situations too.

1) I was working in an Islamic Insurance company earlier as a Junior Marketing Executive. The work makes me to meet both men and women of other companies and in this particular day, I went for a meeting in another company with my Manager. There we met two young women whom greeted us and offered hand to my Manager and he shook happily (like "with pleasure"). Then she offered to me and I was "Oh no". What I did was saying "wa'alaikumussalam" and shook my own hands. LOL. Everybody was staring at me. Then she said. "Oh! You don't greet huh?" This poor woman thought greeting is done with hand shake without even saying assalam 'alaikum. Subuhaanallah! When we entered the meeting room, again the other one offered and I said the same.

One of the office guys came out to the road also to see the "alien" just came to their office, when we moved off. May Allah show them the correct patter of Islam.

2) I changed the job because this one offers me a higher income than earlier. There was an Orientation Programme for the new comers as there were many with me. I guess around 25. After the Programme, HR Manager (who is a woman) came on shaking hands with one by one and each and every boy and girl was shaking happily. Finally there came the critical moment. LOL. I did not shake the hands with her even but said wa'alaikumussalam and she kept her hands still. I just repeated wa'alaikumussalam and then she realised that I did not want to hand shakes. She just went on with a huge smile on her face and a huge smile on my face too. But you know, ALL the people were staring at me like when they see a 'just now made pizza'. I was saying in my heart "Ya Allah! Show them the correct way and make them steadfast in your religion".


Brother always remember that this world will never be easy for a Muslim. Because we so not belong here.

Hope my experience helps you a little.

wassalam 'alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh