Seeing things in a different light after converting

[irwinleslie]

Assalamu alaikum my Brothers and Sisters:

Most of you I'm sure now my story. It has only been around ...mm..52 hours since I officially converted via Shahada.

I had a reckless past, in a nutshell. Piercings, tattoos, weird colored hair, drugs, alchohol. Okay that's probably enough explanation..

Well, last couple of days I've had to go out into the world with my newfound faith in Allah and all of the sudden, the things I see that I never paid much attention are just GLARING at me! It's very scary. I had to go to the library today to pick up some books and it seemed everywhere I turned all of this "harem" behavior was in my face. I just try it ignore it but it's hard not to. I see myself in my earlier years and although my slate has been wiped clean, it's very difficult to look at. Perhaps this is one of the tests Allah is putting me thourgh?

Any other recent converts or even Muslims that were born into Islam having problems dealing with this? Any advice on how to try not to let it get to me? It's hard for me to just ignore.

Peace be upon you all,

Sister Leslie
:tti_sister:

 

[Hard Rock Moslem]

Firstly alhamdulillah and congrat to you.

I reverted officially in 2004, needless to say I faced much the same problem like you do now. Do not worry sister Leslie, this is all temporary.

Whatever you can removed from your physical body and present more Islamic look, pls do so. Tattoos, I believe is not easy to remove, so do not too worry. Those within your control, pls stop it since you are now a muslim. E.g. alchohol, drugs etc. I had reckless past too, but the day I reverted was the day I said bye bye to all this bad habits.

If you check properly, you will find there are more halal things than haraam things. If you open refrigerator in the 7-11, you will find more halal drinks than haraam drinks, not sure in your country but this is the situation here. So why choose haraam drinks? Likewise food, we will never lead into starving by eating only halal food. So why choose foods that are haraam for muslims. It is simple I guess, but of course you can implement overnight. Take your time, you may start practice one at the time until you feel nothing strange anymore.

May I ask, have you choose Islamic name for you? It may not be urgent but pls consider.

Pls forgive me if I ever said anything wrong sister.

 

[Isra]

Assalamu alaikum my Brothers and Sisters:

Most of you I'm sure now my story. It has only been around ...mm..52 hours since I officially converted via Shahada.

I had a reckless past, in a nutshell. Piercings, tattoos, weird colored hair, drugs, alchohol. Okay that's probably enough explanation..

Well, last couple of days I've had to go out into the world with my newfound faith in Allah and all of the sudden, the things I see that I never paid much attention are just GLARING at me! It's very scary. I had to go to the library today to pick up some books and it seemed everywhere I turned all of this "harem" behavior was in my face. I just try it ignore it but it's hard not to. I see myself in my earlier years and although my slate has been wiped clean, it's very difficult to look at. Perhaps this is one of the tests Allah is putting me thourgh?

Any other recent converts or even Muslims that were born into Islam having problems dealing with this? Any advice on how to try not to let it get to me? It's hard for me to just ignore.

Peace be upon you all,

Sister Leslie
:tti_sister:

Wa alaikome salam sister Leslie

Alhamdulillah you took your shahada!!! Congratulations and welcome to Islam the most perfect and beautiful deen.

When you are seeing things that you suddenly notice and they are bothering you why dont you try telling yourself "alhamdulillah Allah has delivered me from that life" and pray a dua that he will guide the others. If you think of everything in that way it may help. Just remember we who are reverts were not always as "clean slated" as we are AFTER our shahada so please dear sister pray for them rather than judge them. Leave the judgement to our creator where it should be. And just remember that if not for Allah's mercy in guiding you to the straight path that might have been the way you remained. Praise Allah in every moment of the day and Im sure you wont be as bothered by seeing such things when you have pity upon the people committing the errors.

 

[hassana elkoussi]

As-salamu alaikum dear sister,

First I'd like to congratulate you on your shahada, which I think, was The Event of your life bringing about a complete change in it. May allah accept all your good deeds and reward you the hightest rank of Paradise.

As for your problem, I think this is only natural since you have, in no time, effected a total change in your lifestyle, beliefs and everything. No wonder then glimpses of your past life will pop up right before you every now and then. But you need not worry about this.All you need to do is that everytime any of those previous sins cross your mind, ask forgiveness from Allah. I even read once before that whenever a person shivers at the thought of their previous sins and asks forgiveness, they'll have those sins erased inshAllah. THis means that thinking of those sins and feeling sorry for them is not really a bad thing as long as they're associated with a strong feeling of repentance. Just remember to say "astaghfirullah" which means I seek Allah's forgiveness. You can only worry if you look back at ur past life with a kind of longing - which of course - is not the case here alhamdulillah. Besides, I think you should keep yourself occupied with learning more about Islam, so you can make sure to practise it in the right way. Learn how to read Quran properly- I can help you with this online by the way, read about the Prophet's biography to be able to take him ( pbuh) as your role model. That will leave you no time to ponder over anything that might trouble your mind. Plz if you need any help with the above, don't hesitate to PM me.
May Allah ease things for you in this life and the hereafter.:tti_sister: Ameen

 

[irwinleslie]

Firstly alhamdulillah and congrat to you.

I reverted officially in 2004, needless to say I faced much the same problem like you do now. Do not worry sister Leslie, this is all temporary.

Whatever you can removed from your physical body and present more Islamic look, pls do so. Tattoos, I believe is not easy to remove, so do not too worry. Those within your control, pls stop it since you are now a muslim. E.g. alchohol, drugs etc. I had reckless past too, but the day I reverted was the day I said bye bye to all this bad habits.

If you check properly, you will find there are more halal things than haraam things. If you open refrigerator in the 7-11, you will find more halal drinks than haraam drinks, not sure in your country but this is the situation here. So why choose haraam drinks? Likewise food, we will never lead into starving by eating only halal food. So why choose foods that are haraam for muslims. It is simple I guess, but of course you can implement overnight. Take your time, you may start practice one at the time until you feel nothing strange anymore.

May I ask, have you choose Islamic name for you? It may not be urgent but pls consider.

Pls forgive me if I ever said anything wrong sister.

Interesting you asked about the Islamic name; I was just thinking about that earlier. Haven't decided on one yet.

As far as the drinking, drugs, and cigarettes have been abstinent for four years now. I haven't even had caffeine in a month due to problems with insomnia. I am already covering up much more than myself. And yes, I can only practice one thing at a time for now. I'm aware of the dietary restrictions, but there is only one place in the city that sells Halal meats, so unfortunately I haven't been getting enough protein except when I buy protein drinks which are expensive. As far as halal vs haraam drinks, it seems everything in 7/11 or other convenience stores are either alcohol, energy drinks or soda. At least that'st the case here. I don't drink alchohol anymore and can't tolerate the latter two, because I can't tolerate caffeine and haven't had refined sugar in ages. What I wish I could find was fresh squeezed veggie juices but all they have in most stores is the regular stuff. When I was living near Dearborn, MI there was a large Arab population and a wonderful Arab food chain called LaShish. Wonderful food and they had juice bar. I'm in Albquerque, NM and at least the part of town I'm in, no Muslims. I've contacted the Sisters at the Mosque and I'm sure they'll be able to help.

It was just - today..very hard to deal with. It's getting chilly and I still see the skimpy clothes and stuff. As I mentioned I believe a lot of my issue is seeing myself in my "other life". I'm going to get with the Sisters soon so I can have people to talk to and they can help me out further with my prayers, learning Arabic, and even with the dress code.

I'm glad to hear I'm not the ONLY one who has experienced this. For now, all I can do is pray and pray some more.

Peace be upon you.

Sister Leslie:tti_sister:

 

[irwinleslie]

Isra:

I was thinking the same thing. I can't judge others so I've been praying silently, mostly in Engish, "God is Great", Allahu Akbar, now I've got that one memorized. And I praise Allah several times a day for being so grateful for finding Islam. I was in pretty bad shape just merely a few weeks ago. Thanks for your thoughts and suggestions, I will definitely keep these in mind as well as the ones from you other nice folks!

 

[IbnAdam77]

wa'alaikumussalam warahmatullahi wabarakatuh

I might not be the best person to reply you regarding this problem. But although I am a born to family Muslim, there comes times that Shatan makes me remember about my past. But you know the secret to forget them? Remembrance of Allah. I have lots of experience of this Alhamdhulillah!

Allah (subuhaanahu wata'aala) says in Surah al-Ra'd (The Thunder), Verse 28, ".........without doubt in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find satisfaction."

Just keep Allah's remembrance all the time. InshaAllah (God Willing) you will come up with flying results.

wassalam 'alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh

 

[Hard Rock Moslem]

Alhamdulillah, All praise and thanks be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds.

I will make du'a for Allah make things easy for you.

 

[irwinleslie]

Seeing things in a different light

wa'alaikumussalam warahmatullahi wabarakatuh

I might not be the best person to reply you regarding this problem. But although I am a born to family Muslim, there comes times that Shatan makes me remember about my past. But you know the secret to forget them? Remembrance of Allah. I have lots of experience of this Alhamdhulillah!

Allah (subuhaanahu wata'aala) says in Surah al-Ra'd (The Thunder), Verse 28, ".........without doubt in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find satisfaction."

Just keep Allah's remembrance all the time. InshaAllah (God Willing) you will come up with flying results.

wassalam 'alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh

Thank you IbnAdam. I shall take your advice. Alhamdhulillah! I have already started reminding my self of the grace of Allah when I run into these sticky situations. I also prayed last night to not only ask for His help with trying not to judge others, but to be accepting and remember His word and how very grateful I am to have found Islam.

Peace be with you!:tti_sister:

 

[irwinleslie]

Thank you for your support Iman! Yes, I've alwasy been alert to my surroundings and kind heart. I will read the story of the ten disciples as well! Yes, trying to take things slow and not get ovewhelmed. Eaiser said than done for a person like me notorious for multi-tasking and delving into things feet first.

Take care,

Leslie

 

[irwinleslie]

Prayers

Alhamdulillah, All praise and thanks be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds.

I will make du'a for Allah make things easy for you.

My Brother, you are so kind

Thank you so much!!

 

[Munawar]

:salam2: Allah-o-Akbar !!!

Dear sister Leslie,

First of all congratulations on reverting to Islam.

Glory to Allah (SWT) that He guided you towards His deen which will lead you to salvation and Paradise in the hereafter. Ameen.

I am not a revert so I may not be the best person to comment here, But I think it is good that you get anxious and repelled by the images of your past life. This is a good sign because this will keep you stay away from those acts. InshaAllah.

All the Sahaba (the companians of Prophet Mohammed ) were REVERTS. They have struggled about their past life just like you are going through.

Welcome again dear sister Leslie.

 

[IHearIslam]

peace be with you sister Leslie

first of all, I am super happy to know you have embraced Islam, I congrate you for that may Allah make it easy on you!ameen
YES! i have the same problem though I have been a Muslim all my life.......but AlhamduliAllah have been blessed to start practicing and now like you said all the HARAM is glaring at me! but AlhamduliAllah, it reminds me to THANK Allah for what He has given me. TRY to lower the gaze as much as u can, it's probably hard, but do your best.
You're in my duas

 

[irwinleslie]

Seeing things in a different light

:salam2: Allah-o-Akbar !!!

Dear sister Leslie,

First of all congratulations on reverting to Islam.

Glory to Allah (SWT) that He guided you towards His deen which will lead you to salvation and Paradise in the hereafter. Ameen.

I am not a revert so I may not be the best person to comment here, But I think it is good that you get anxious and repelled by the images of your past life. This is a good sign because this will keep you stay away from those acts. InshaAllah.

All the Sahaba (the companians of Prophet Mohammed ) were REVERTS. They have struggled about their past life just like you are going through.

Welcome again dear sister Leslie.

Thank you Munawar. And yes, I'm glad I do get anxious and repelled I do NOT want to go back to that spiritualy bankruptcy I had before!!

:muslim_child:

 

[phy_sabet]

Thank you for your support Iman! Yes, I've alwasy been alert to my surroundings and kind heart. I will read the story of the ten disciples as well! Yes, trying to take things slow and not get ovewhelmed. Eaiser said than done for a person like me notorious for multi-tasking and delving into things feet first.

Take care,

Leslie

:salam2:

:mashallah:


That`s one of amazing days for me because I read this thread

welcome to Islam dear sister and never to be anxious about the past that`s

because The reverting to Islam destroy it just u`ve to belive that there is no

GOD but ALLAH and the prophet Mohammad is his last messengers then

fellow the straight path. May ALLAH guided u through it. Being

Muslim leads to be free so as u r Muslim u r completely free.


Oh my GOD send ur mercy upon her and lights to her life

:mashallah: again

:salam2:

 

[irwinleslie]

Congratulations and welcome to Islam.

I reallly want to be a friend to you.
I tried sending a private message to you but I couldn't may be
becuase you stopped it.

My regards,
Your sister
Zahra

Zahra:

That was my fault. I goofed!!! So sorry! I don't know how I did that, clicked on the wrong thing. I shall try it again!

Sister Leslie

 

[sarahlou]

Asalam Alaikum sister, Please dont let this discourage you from Islam. I know how you are feeling. I can see my fitnah's developing and I am not going to let them get me down inshaa allah. May allah strength our iman ameen:tti_sister: