suggestion needed to select wife
- Thread starter islamlover49
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trying2learn
Junior Member
Before I decided to revert I had great respect for my husbands religion and threw myself into learning as much as I could about Islam, and had begun to teach my children Islam, becuase I promised my husband we would raise our children as muslims. It is important to think about the future when deciding to get married and the children that could come from your marriage, I can tell you from experience my husband was married before me, and he was married to a catholic woman they are now divorced and we are having a very hard time with his 14 year old daughter, and getting her to be muslim, she wants to be like her mother. Insha allah all will work out for you.
Assalaam walailkum,
You raise an excellent point. The children of divorce have a difficult time. Often in marriages of mixed religions faith gets sloppy.
We all know how hard it is to put your foot down on Christmas. How does one battle the greatest half-time show. Yeah...come on kids..it is time to make salat. No trees, no packages, no lights, no cookies and milk...sometimes that is a major war.
In this brothers case it is not a culture shock of marrying out of the faith. Here he has to decide does this woman have the same "like for like" for the Love and Fear of Allah.
I appreciate the brothers honesty and fear. Insha'Allah, he will rightly guided and we will make dua for him.
You raise an excellent point. The children of divorce have a difficult time. Often in marriages of mixed religions faith gets sloppy.
We all know how hard it is to put your foot down on Christmas. How does one battle the greatest half-time show. Yeah...come on kids..it is time to make salat. No trees, no packages, no lights, no cookies and milk...sometimes that is a major war.
In this brothers case it is not a culture shock of marrying out of the faith. Here he has to decide does this woman have the same "like for like" for the Love and Fear of Allah.
I appreciate the brothers honesty and fear. Insha'Allah, he will rightly guided and we will make dua for him.
trying2learn
Junior Member
I was only trying to make the point of children often do as the mother does, and if she is not religious it's harder to get the children to be religious.
Bismillah
Assalamu alaikum
You speak of loving this female and wishing to bring her to the right guidance but would only bring harm. If children were to come from this marriage they would be corrupted by her incorrect thinking. Even now she attempts to manipulate you when you when you speak of leaving her this will also happen if you marry her and try to change her. please take the advise given to you and do not marry this person unless she changes.
Assalamu alaikum
You speak of loving this female and wishing to bring her to the right guidance but would only bring harm. If children were to come from this marriage they would be corrupted by her incorrect thinking. Even now she attempts to manipulate you when you when you speak of leaving her this will also happen if you marry her and try to change her. please take the advise given to you and do not marry this person unless she changes.
justoneofmillion
Junior Member
:salam2:Brother, the most precious thing between spouses is the fact that your partner makes you wanna become a better person.Keep that in mind,take a thoughtful decision,don't rush.I heard a line somewhere that said"Love is what is left over after everything else has burned out".In any case ,don't give her up.If she has a little Imaan in her that none of us can be aware of but Allah swt.Get her in touch with some Muslim sister for her to have a better environment inshallah ,even if you do not intend to marry her,would you?.That would be a gracious move to buy your way out and be at ease with your conscience as well.
Allah Maak.
Allah Maak.
as salam aleikoum.
ihave the same worry as you. there is this sister who is a distant relative.
from asking relatives im being told that she is practicing(perfom salah,fast...)
she is also attractive but religion matters the most for me. from talking to her she said she is not against or for hijab. she doesnt wear it and doesnt intend to wear it. she said that im radical. i was very shoked to hear it. when i try to talk about religion in order to know what is her understanding of islam. she says that it Allah Who judges and that religion is a personal matter. when i ask her about raising children in a islamic environment. always the same answer faith is a personal matter. i am hoping that she may change her thinking however she seems the type who is defiant and there will be disagreement because i wont compromise on certain matter. i have not proposed yet but this not what i have expected after all the "good" things i heard about her. as stated by others you have to think abt the future beauty is not ever lasting think about your children. it s very difficult but im leaning on letting her go and find someone else
ihave the same worry as you. there is this sister who is a distant relative.
from asking relatives im being told that she is practicing(perfom salah,fast...)
she is also attractive but religion matters the most for me. from talking to her she said she is not against or for hijab. she doesnt wear it and doesnt intend to wear it. she said that im radical. i was very shoked to hear it. when i try to talk about religion in order to know what is her understanding of islam. she says that it Allah Who judges and that religion is a personal matter. when i ask her about raising children in a islamic environment. always the same answer faith is a personal matter. i am hoping that she may change her thinking however she seems the type who is defiant and there will be disagreement because i wont compromise on certain matter. i have not proposed yet but this not what i have expected after all the "good" things i heard about her. as stated by others you have to think abt the future beauty is not ever lasting think about your children. it s very difficult but im leaning on letting her go and find someone else
as salam aleikoum.
ihave the same worry as you. there is this sister who is a distant relative.
from asking relatives im being told that she is practicing(perfom salah,fast...)
she is also attractive but religion matters the most for me. from talking to her she said she is not against or for hijab. she doesnt wear it and doesnt intend to wear it. she said that im radical. i was very shoked to hear it. when i try to talk about religion in order to know what is her understanding of islam. she says that it Allah Who judges and that religion is a personal matter. when i ask her about raising children in a islamic environment. always the same answer faith is a personal matter. i am hoping that she may change her thinking however she seems the type who is defiant and there will be disagreement because i wont compromise on certain matter. i have not proposed yet but this not what i have expected after all the "good" things i heard about her. as stated by others you have to think abt the future beauty is not ever lasting think about your children. it s very difficult but im leaning on letting her go and find someone else
ihave the same worry as you. there is this sister who is a distant relative.
from asking relatives im being told that she is practicing(perfom salah,fast...)
she is also attractive but religion matters the most for me. from talking to her she said she is not against or for hijab. she doesnt wear it and doesnt intend to wear it. she said that im radical. i was very shoked to hear it. when i try to talk about religion in order to know what is her understanding of islam. she says that it Allah Who judges and that religion is a personal matter. when i ask her about raising children in a islamic environment. always the same answer faith is a personal matter. i am hoping that she may change her thinking however she seems the type who is defiant and there will be disagreement because i wont compromise on certain matter. i have not proposed yet but this not what i have expected after all the "good" things i heard about her. as stated by others you have to think abt the future beauty is not ever lasting think about your children. it s very difficult but im leaning on letting her go and find someone else
OsMaN_93
Here to help
I would tread very carefully, if you marry her with the intention of bringing her back to Islam, she could change her mind and love could lead you astray. (I don't know you brother, so I'm just talking generally). If she's young it's clearly easier for you to lead her to Islam. I suggest you think carefully about every word she says and ask yourself how likely is it that you are doing the right thing or wasting your time.