Evaluate the Problem!
Asslamo Allaikum,
Mahsa'Allah I see posts from a lot of single/young Brothers/Sisters about the 'text-book' approach.
I am not denying everyone their right of opinion but let me illustrate an example...
A few months ago a Pakistani Brother told me about an Indian family that he had approached for marrying their daughter & they had refused & quoted me the Hadeeth of Rasul-ullah (Sallaho Alaihe Wassallam) & thought the Indian family was racist & Anti-Sunnah!....He was very adamant about it!
Here are the facts:
1) The Indian Sister is a PharmD (Doctor in Pharmacology), her dad is a Surgeon...They are a really nice close-knit family and Masha'Allah follow the basics of Islam.
2) Pakistani brother is a high-school drop-out with no job (he works somewhere for a bit & then quits) and his dad is a factory worker.
At no point did the Sister ever approach him or answer any of his approaches in a positive manner.
I know the Indian family but have never discussed the issue with them and don't know their reasons for refusing the proposal...but hypothetically!
I ask all of you to read 1 & 2 with a fair mind & judge it for yourself on external circusmtances! I think the Pakistani brother was being harsh with his labelling because I know the family & refuse to beleive that the family is either racist or Anti-Sunnah & I am very sure that the father knows about the Hadeeth!
I beleive that it is highly unfair to label the Indian family as racist or their actions as contradiction to Sunnah...As I said before no father wants to stand in the way of his daughter's happiness.
I know that it is an issue because I deal with it a lot; but I beleive many of the Brothers/Sisters here are being harsh and unfair!
I think we should have Husn Dhann (good prospect) towards Muslims.
The situation between many couples in US & UK is dire! People are scared and that is a fact!
It is also a fact that many mixed-race marriages particularly between Asians, Arabs and reverts in the 80's (when reverts started coming into Islam in large numbers) fell apart drastically with unbelievable consequences for the couples and children...a lot of these people are no longer on Islam!
Coming from a family which has White, black, Chinese, Afghan and trinidanian people who have married into it & having a daughter of my own...I will ABSOLUTELY evaluate a person before giving my daughter's hand to someone; off course she has a right to choose whosoever she wants; but I will have an input into the matter!
Color, creed, ethnicity, origin doesn't come into it; but I think I have the right to marry my daughter to a 'decent person'?
Looking around the Mosque/communities there are plenty of Practising Muslim brothers who I & Insha'Allah she would rather pass! & no offense to anyone and no harsh feelings!
Point is that the person should be evaluated based on sound facts and race should'nt come into it...And just because someone refuses a Brother or Sister it may not ONLY because of race or ONLY becuase the person is a revert (White, black, etc.)
Even after making myself clear with examples and facts; if there are some who choose to label myself as a racist, Anit-Sunnah or a bigot; then I leave their evaluation with Allah (SWT)!
Assalamu alaikum,
It's really sad to know that it's very common among parents not to marry their daughters with someone from a different race but I agree with brother GlobalPeace, cultural differences can lead to divorce. But ofcourse Allaah swt knows best. Maybe it's not yet your qadar to get married. So don't worry, your day will come soon Insha Allaah just pray to Allaah swt to give you a good Muslimah. After all, it's not us who choose our wives/husbands, it's Allaah swt.