The loneliness of converts

[dawahforever]

Asalaamu Alaikum

Yes this air of exclusivity has got to go! Especially in the admin part of the masjid. Although it is a great step that ISNA has a convert woman running it (by the way its a volunteer job) what we always see in the mosque is that there are no converts on the board..they are never voted in. Immigrants don't own the mosques even though they may have paid for them. What I see are people who don't want to let go of the reigns of power. If they are nice to the converts and let them join in then more will come until they are inundated and taken over..that is the overall feeling I get. Everytime I try to do dawah I am stopped. Whenever I want to volunteer to be a speaker, rep etc I am stopped. One time a speaker came to the mosque and told the older immigrants that they should step back and let thier grown up kids take over because they have no accents etc..so I put up my hand and said how about the converts..we speak perfect english! And how about everytime there is a khutbah..the person speaking always says "we are all immigrants"....helloooo...we are not all immigrants..your kids were born here and so were the converts...please drop this line...its really not applicable anymore. Its time the masjids became inclusive. Oh yeah and why do they always treat the Christians better than the converts...we were once Christian too! I am really concerned about what Allah will think about all this. Insha Allah things will change. Please reach out before another convert leaves the faith.

Wa Salaamu Alaikum
D4E

 

[Wulf]

A'salaam 'aleikom my Friends

Since placing my post on this topic, I have been talking to some other new Mulims about this problem or perceived exclusivity.

most of the answers given have related to the suggestion that Revert Muslims build their own Masjid. The most obvious problem with this is that in doing so, they would create possible division and their own form of exclusivity.
I am afraid that Jumah in English may well not be the same. There would be, as is, problems in translation. This could, in the end, inevitably lead to Inovations being introduced to compensate for any shortcomings.

If one is to examine the history of the Christian Church, one will see what happened there. As a result of the splintering and ultimate sectarianism that occured, the message of Jeshua Bar Juseph Ben David, (May Allah, Subhana wa Ta'ala, be pleased with him), became lost and distorted.
There are now over 2500 different sects, all claiming "Exclusivity", within Christianity.
This was caused, originaly, by the lack of acceptance by the original Church, over the matter of preaching in the vernacular, the common tongue, instead of Latin. Which in turn caused dissention over matters of translation, the introduction of unverified "Doctrine", and of course conflict.

Is this the future of Islam? To become fractured and torn, until the original and unchanged message of the Holy Qur'an becomes unrecognisable, both in it's message and practice?
Or, are Muslims going to start practicing the ideal of One Nation, One Faith, one Family? Instead of just saying it like idle rhetoric because it sounds good.
I fear that if this does not happen, Islam may well lose many valuable Reverts. Valuable because they are the ones who best understand the social aspects or their particular culture, who know the language, Laws and the deceits that exist.
It is interesting to note that one or two Inovative Muslim Sects treat Reverts as equals, diverting them from the Sunnah.

I most sincerely hope that this offering has not caused any offence.

W'salaam

Ibrahim Abdullah

 

[dawahforever]

Asalaamu Alaikum

We are all in this together and starting our own masjid is not the answer of course at all. But we should have a voice in the masjid and the ability to volunteer and I'm not talking about cooking and cleaning although they are valuable too. I think first of all a masjid should have an imam that is fluent in both arabic and english and has grown up in the country that he is serving. The board should consist of anyone who is qualified and not just the same faces over and over again because they have the ability to pay a membership and have been around the longest. There should be classes for muslim converts and not just muslim kids. There should be mentor programs. Also there should be better instructions in the mosque..like now we are going to do dua or hand out a sheet that explains what's happening. And wouldn't it be nice if at potlucks every table consisted of all groups? And how about a newsletter to keep people informed about each other...converts are always the last to know who is sick, had a baby, is getting married etc....

Wa Salaamu Alaikum
D4E...ps...my masjid is not interested in my ideas though...sigh...

 

[Southrn_Muslimah]

Asalaamu Alaikum

We are all in this together and starting our own masjid is not the answer of course at all. But we should have a voice in the masjid and the ability to volunteer and I'm not talking about cooking and cleaning although they are valuable too. I think first of all a masjid should have an imam that is fluent in both arabic and english and has grown up in the country that he is serving. The board should consist of anyone who is qualified and not just the same faces over and over again because they have the ability to pay a membership and have been around the longest. There should be classes for muslim converts and not just muslim kids. There should be mentor programs. Also there should be better instructions in the mosque..like now we are going to do dua or hand out a sheet that explains what's happening. And wouldn't it be nice if at potlucks every table consisted of all groups? And how about a newsletter to keep people informed about each other...converts are always the last to know who is sick, had a baby, is getting married etc....

Wa Salaamu Alaikum
D4E...ps...my masjid is not interested in my ideas though...sigh...

:salam2:

We have all these programs you speak of. The revert/convert we have, we have a mentoring program...we have potlucks...unfortunately though these programs we have are not looked highly at in our masjid

 

[sajjuaiah]

As-salaam Alaikum,

Do ye think that ye shall enter the gardin of bliss without such trials as came to those who passed away before you? they encounterd suffreing and adversity, and were so shaken in spirit that even the messenger and those of faith who where with him cried ''when will come the help of allah? Ah verily, the help of allah is allways near.

And when My servants ask you concerning Me, then surely I am very near; I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he calls on Me, so they should answer My call and believe in Me that they may walk in the right way. 2:186

“And whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a
him to get out (from every difficulty).
And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. And whosoever
puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him. Verily, Allah will accomplish
purpose. Indeed Allah has set a measure for all things”[al-Talaaq 65:2-3]

Allah's help is always near.

:tti_sister: :tti_sister: :tti_sister: :tti_sister: :tti_sister:

 

[dawahforever]

:salam2:

We have all these programs you speak of. The revert/convert we have, we have a mentoring program...we have potlucks...unfortunately though these programs we have are not looked highly at in our masjid

Asalaamu Alaikum

That's great! Allahu Akbar! Why are they not looked highly upon?

Wa Salaamu Alaikum
D4E

 

[dawahforever]

Asalaamu Alaikum

Well alhumdullilah..I think someone must have made dua for me because masha Allah a sister came up to me today as I was loading my groceries and gave me salam. I 've never seen her before ..she knew I was muslim because of my scarf and she told me how lonely her ramadan had been and how she wished she had known someone to invite over to iftar (I'm not making this up) and I couldn't believe it because she is actually in my neighbourhood and she thought she was the only muslim in town! So we are going to get together insha Allah. I am so grateful to Allah for sending me a friend and so grateful to anyone who made dua for all the converts and for everyone who is trying to help. I can't even express my happiness.

Wa Salaamu Alaikum
D4E

Well can you believe this woman has never made contact with me. I don't know what to think anymore. I thought maybe she lost my number so I called her place of work (she told me where she worked) and left my phone number and still nothing. I guess Allah doesn't want me to have any friends..but I just don't know why.

 

[Asiya-sparkles]

As-salaam Alaikum,

Do ye think that ye shall enter the gardin of bliss without such trials as came to those who passed away before you? they encounterd suffreing and adversity, and were so shaken in spirit that even the messenger and those of faith who where with him cried ''when will come the help of allah? Ah verily, the help of allah is allways near.

And when My servants ask you concerning Me, then surely I am very near; I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he calls on Me, so they should answer My call and believe in Me that they may walk in the right way. 2:186

“And whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a
him to get out (from every difficulty).
And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. And whosoever
puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him. Verily, Allah will accomplish
purpose. Indeed Allah has set a measure for all things”[al-Talaaq 65:2-3]

Allah's help is always near.

:tti_sister: :tti_sister: :tti_sister: :tti_sister: :tti_sister:

ma'shAllah, this is true.

Imam Sadiq [pbuh] said:

"The Muslim believer whose calls were not answered by Allah in this world will wish that none of them would have been accepted when, in the Hereafter, he sees the abundance of rewards (given him for their not being answered and suffering the troubles in the world)."

Also I am told it is sunnah to deliver the khutbah first in Arabic and then translate it. InshAllah someone can help with hadith reference?

For us reverts (and indeed all muslims and those who are being led to Islam too), increasingly I'm understanding that the acceptance into the ummah is all part of rizq, and every aspect - whatever is witheld or granted is solely the beneficence of Allah. In sabr & shukr we grow, learn, increase in compassion, humility & benefits. I know some reverts who from the moment they revert are very active both in terms of the masjid and in terms of being invited into homes as guests, so Allah knows what we get the greatest rewards from, Alhamdulillah.

"When confronting a sage, try to be more inquisitive than talkative, and learn how to listen well as much as you learn how to speak well, and do not interrupt the statement of anyone."

 

[Asiya-sparkles]

http://www.ramadan.co.za/2008/islam-...-keys-success/

Understanding rizq.

We need to increase our reliance and trust in Ar Razzaaq and let go of the false notions we might have about how we have attained the things we have. Tawakkal on Allah should be something we all strive to gain and establish firmly in our hearts.?And upon Allah rely if you are believers.? [al-Maa`idah:23]

The believers are only those who, when Allah is mentioned, their hearts become fearful, and when His verses are recited to them, it increases them in faith; and upon their Lord they rely. [al-Anfaal:2]

 

[Amina 1]

:salam2:



I reverted in 1999, The most friendship and companionship I have found is here at TTI. I have also learned so many things that I did not know. Hamdulillah for this website. The beauty of the internet is we do not divide into groups and we feel free to intermingle with other nationalities. If we were all in the same room do you think we would communicate this freely?
It would be the most wonderful experience if we could.

 

[Asiya-sparkles]

:salam2:



I reverted in 1999, The most friendship and companionship I have found is here at TTI. I have also learned so many things that I did not know. Hamdulillah for this website. The beauty of the internet is we do not divide into groups and we feel free to intermingle with other nationalities. If we were all in the same room do you think we would communicate this freely?
It would be the most wonderful experience if we could.

Alhamdulillah for everything, yes I do believe we would mix the same way ma'shAllah.

I sat in a gathering in my local mosque and Alhamdulillah we are a growing community who benefit from being diverse, so amongst us were Polish, English, Algerian, Moroccon, Indian, Pakistani, Sudanese, Lithuanian, Egyptian & sisters from other nations too.

In fact, I think because we are so many nations but all sisters in Islam we have been blessed...there is no 'dominant' nationality. This has taken a few years to happen and we used to have some ma'shAllah Palestinian, Jordanian & Syrian sisters too.

 

[Abdulhalim]

Salaam Brothers and Sisters..
It is very sad to know that some of you gets lonely after finding the truth (Islam). In Islam, there is no loneliness and boring days because we have a lot of things to do.. for newly reverts, they can busy themselves in reading the Qur'an, Hadith, the stories of the Prophets, etc., by doing one of these, you will eliminate lonliness. and for the old Muslims, there are lots of things to do in conveying the message of Allah and His Messenger.

Here is the POEM for all of you, hope you'll get some encouragement out of it.

Why did you keep your burden inside you when you have Allah to tell it to? Why did you fear everyone might hate you when you have Him who understands you? Why did you fill your heart with pain and anguish when you have Him to fill it with eternal bliss? Why did you choose to settle in turbulence when there's His pure love that speaks of peace?

Allah never left you alone, He was with you all along, He was tapping your shoulder when you almost wanted to stop, He was putting a smile on your face when you almost wanted to give up.

Allah has seen the real person in you yearning, He was wiping your tears off when you were down crying, He has all the answers to all your questions but you just didn't care, you didn't let Him be your guide because you weren't sure if for you, He was there.

Open your heart, let Allah wash away the hurt, embrace the greatest love He, alone could give you, He will never doubt you, just be true.

Allah loves what He made, "Nobody loves me," that's what you said, He wants to see you smile so never lose hope, so now hang on to His Paradise of heaven's rope.

Pray to Allah for He listens to all prayers, believe in Him alone and not the deceiving others, do what He says for He is your mentor, love Him truly and not the impostor.

So listen now and lo! Look up and take it slow, walk on to the life Allah chose you to live, live your life with Him and you will never grieve.

When you are in a discourse with no more to tell, let Allah's love be your word, when you are in a battle unarmed, let His love be your sword. When you feel cold, let His love warm you, when you stumble and fall, let His love catch you.

When you can no longer think, let Allah's love quicken your memory, when you have no more food to eat, let His love fill your tummy, when you can no longer breathe, let His love be your air, when you have no more to drink, let His love be your water.

When you are lost in the rain, let Allah's love be your shade, when you can no longer hear, let His love be your aide, when you are lost in the dark, let His love be your light, when you can no longer see, let His love be your sight.

When you are bruised in a fight, let Allah's love stop your bleedings, when you can no longer fly, let His love be your wings, when you are wronged in an argument, let His love unleash what's true, when you can no longer walk, let His love carry you.

When no one understands you, let Allah's love be searched, when no one listens to you, let His love be heard, when no one believes in you, let His love be seen, when no one trusts you, let His love be serene.

When you believe nobody loves you, let Allah's love be your confidence, when you doubt nobody protects you. Let His love be your defense, when you feel nobody cares for you, let His love heed, when you think nobody minds you, let His love breed.

When someone fools you, let Allah's love make you wiser, when someone belittles you, let His love make you greater, when someone scorns you, let His love admire you, when someone abandons you, let His love show you what to do.

When you are weak, let Allah's love be your strength, when you can no longer smile, let His love be sent, when you are lost, let His love be your way, when you can no longer speak, let His love tell you what to say.

When you are afraid, let Allah's love be your protection, when you are confused, let His love be your liberation, when you are ill, let His love be your remedy, when you are hurting, let His love be your therapy.

When you feel like giving up, let Allah's love push you, when you feel tired and fed up, let His love's purpose pursue, when you reach the pinnacle of your journey, the Angels of the heavens will welcome you finally.

So go on, walk to Allah's throne, dry your eyes now and believe, you have a beautiful life to live.

Stand up and don't be afraid, walk on to where the truth is laid, feel the presence of Allah's love in every air that you breathe, feel the might of His power in every drop of hope you grip.

Walk on to the road leading to His heaven's grandeur, put your best foot forward and think not of the obscure, don't to a day without his love, you will never falter, don't let the devil deceive your heart, Allah shall conquer it forever.

So, smile now oh dear, Now it's all clear, the Almighty Allah is forgiving, just let go of your hurting.

Hold on and believe in Allah's love, that's the best you can have, please never weep again, and in your heart, let His love remain.

 

[salek]

if u are in montreal, u can be friend of my wife

Asalaamu Alaikum

Seems I'm not the only one feeling this way which is good to know that I'm not some kind of weirdo or something. I've never had trouble making friends in my life until I became muslim..I'm still the same outgoing person, sociable and all..I've never been shy and I used to be popular. Living this way is hard and to know it probably won't get better is even harder. I know I should find something to do , its good advice but its been hard to fill up the last 16 yrs! Sometimes you just need a friend..you reach out to the telephone and then realize you have no one to chat with, you want to have a cup of tea with someone but realize there is no one, you want to go for a walk to the park with your kids and another muslim mom and realize that there is no one etc...

Any friends out there?:shake: we could go to the park:muslim_child:

:tti_sister:

WA Salaamu Alaikum
D4E (who is a sister

dear sister, assalamu alakikum. i feel bad that u feel lonely. where r u in canada? if it's in montreal i can ask my wife to be a nice friend of you. may allah allmighty give you peace in your heart.

a brother

 

[Asiya-sparkles]

Assalamu alaikom wa rahmatullah wa burrahktohu,

InshAllah the words are reassuring however Allah made us to be socialable and to respond to the urge to be reclusive and the desire for good company also.

We are strong together and easy prey when alone, so in fact, it is to our spiritual, psychological & overall wellbeing to not only seek knowledge -which occupies us, but also to seek warmth of the pious for another natural human need.

Even our beloved Nabi(saw) was surrounded with the very best of companions ma'shAllah and he(saw) also spent time in isolation when Allah wanted him to come close.

I know it is well intended, but in reality, when we say to fellow muslims that we shouldn't feel lonely due to worship, we create a feeling of 'failure', that isn't true at all, with respect, Allah knows us and knows that we love to have family, good companions and we are helpers of one another.

InshAllah, that we reach out and give comfort to each other. Reverts may have gone from a busy social life to finding ourselves alienated, that is not an easy transition believe me. But Alhamdulillah for everything

 

[almanar]

Assalamualaikum... For me, all what I can say is: Maybe this loneliness is an indication for us to be closer to Allah. Allah has mentioned in the quran 50:16; "....and We are nearer to him than the hearts artery".

 

[almanar]

brother Abdulhalim thank you JAZAKALLAH for the beautiful poem ! So beautiful and so honest ! Allah loves us soooo much. Allah is really Kind ! Yes, that's what He says in the quran. May Allah give you His Mercy. Ameen !