The loneliness of converts

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dawahforever

Junior Member
aisha1114 said:
salam aleikum



well may be because before u became a convert u didnt try to communictae with muslims or ppl from other countries..
may be People around u were different ppl ?



Im more happy after becoming a muslim then ever ,even If Im alone ....And I dont want to be popular anymore


waaleikum salam
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Asalaamu Alaikum

I had tons of immigrant friends before I converted and in fact my first husband was from Vietnam. They were Christian, Buddhist, HIndu etc...funny I only seem to have problems with Muslims.

And its sunnah to be popular...the Prophet (saw) had tons of sahaba..its normal.

WA Salaamu Alaikum
D4E
 
Munawar

Munawar

Striving for Paradise
dawahforever said:
Asalaamu Alaikum

I dont' think there is any convert who wants to be alone or who hasn't tried a million times to be friends with the immigrants. Why do we have to look at ourselves? Do we switch to other languages when we see different muslims ? NO. Do we not invite people because they are not from our country? NO Do we get invitations and then not show up? NO Do we take people's phone number and then never call? NO Do we only sit with people from our country? NO If there was something wrong with converts then why were we so popular and having so many friends and happy times when we were not muslim? Obviously there is nothing wrong with our social skills!

Wa Salaamu Alaikum
D4E
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:salam2:
Anyone who is reading this thread should print all the complaints from our fellow Muslims and take it to their own Masjids and post it on the board and present it to the Imams, and tell them to discuss this topic during Jumah prayers or something and educate the people how to behave.

I think that there should be a section for the reverts in the Masjid. I am not talking about a physical section but a group of people (seperatley for men and for women) who would be made responsible to find out the reverts among them and then provide help as and when needed.
I am doing it now. I am printing the original letter "Personal Feeling: by Yahya Abdu-Rahman" and pieces of comments by many other brothers and sisters.

Muslim community is spread all over the Europe and Americas, I don't know how many Masjids we will reach thru this website. But this will definetly be a start.

I also think if we all call and/or write letters to ISNA, ICNA and equivalent organization in Europe, then they could influence a great many Mosques to address this issue. I am sure if they receive several hunders letters on this topic they will surely do something about it.
:wasalam:
 
D

dawahforever

Junior Member
Asalaamu Alaikum

Jazakullah Khair for what you intend to do. Insha Allah we will look back at this one day and shake our heads and think was it really like that..that is my hope. In London, Ontario ( I dont' live there) there is a program where they set up converts with a immigrant partner who volunteers to be your friend and help you. I wish every mosque had that.

Wa Salaam Alaikum
D4E
 
S

Shahzad

Junior Member
this program reminds me of the occasion when Nabi (SAW) performed migration and unite Ansaar and Muhajereen. wow!!
excellent program this is.

DAwahForEver: I personally like new muslims a lot and i feel that i shud spend some time wid them. Learn some thing from them and tell them something.
We dont have new muslims here mostly in Pakistan(Just old muslims like me .. LoL) . If they are there, then its in rural areas so that i cant get in touch wid them.

Islam ties with one single rope. May ALLAH unite us all on that single platform (ameen)
 
Southrn_Muslimah

Southrn_Muslimah

bnqɯnɥ 'ɥɐq
:salam2:

At our masjid we have a group for the converts/reverts (whatever word you like). Unfortunately some of the community doesn't like it because they feel it is a divide in the community. Personally, it works both ways. The masjid doesn't allow reverts to have much of a voice because we are somehow less knowledagable. *shrugs*.This class has been very beneficial to me and alhamdullilah I have become more spiritual. . This program is starting all over again with the basics. When we revert into Islam, we do not know the history of many of the people mentioned in Islam. For most of us, we did not have much exposure at all to Islamic history.This class provides us with a history of Islam. Some of the classes I have taken outside of our program are really confusing to me. One lecturer may be speaking of one man and out of the blue another name is mentioned. And I sit there like "Huh?". A lot of Arabic is thrown around and that is it..you have lost me in that discussion.

Also there are some issues that converts/reverts do not prefer to discuss with born Muslims.

There was one issue that I had where Christmas break was coming up and usually get like 5 weeks off every year. A born Muslim basically told me in a rude manner that I should stay home those 5 weeks and disregard my parents since they are "just" non-Muslims. Now I understand that we are not suppose to celebrate other holidays but those 5 weeks home are not about celebrating Christmas. We usually go on vacation, do winter cleaning, shopping for school clothes etc. Actually my parents are the most non-religious when it comes to Christmas. They see it as a time of getting the family together, eating really really good food and exchanging small tokens of love. We do not sit around the table saying "Praise Jesus" etc...Actually not word of religion is mentioned at the table.

Anywho I felt more comfortable discussing this issue with a revert because he/she had to deal with it because their parents are also non-Muslim.

:wasalam:
 
alkathiri

alkathiri

As-Shafaa'i(Brother)
Curious

Southrn_Muslimah said:
:salam2:

. There was a big split in our masjid recently where the reverts felt left out. I don't know if culture is to blame or not but most of the reverts at our masjid are extremely intimidated by the Arab ladies. :
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I am curious what the Arab people do.....?
Is it that they dont mix with the rest......
 
Southrn_Muslimah

Southrn_Muslimah

bnqɯnɥ 'ɥɐq
alkathiri said:
I am curious what the Arab people do.....?
Is it that they dont mix with the rest......
Click to expand...

:salam2:

You hit it on the nail. Not all but many do just congregate around each other. Sometimes I feel like some of these ladies (not just Arab ladies but all ethnicities) have lasers for eyes and are constantly checking you up and down.
I guess when I go to the masjid I see it as an opportunity to learn more about Islam. Very rarely do I find the ladies (not just Arabs) not speaking of Islam except for the college ladies in my group. What can I say I am addicted to Islam.
I find that the ladies section is a little bit more lax and more about socializing. Indeed I would love to jump over the screen they put up so I can sit with the men and have a good lecture. Most of the time the lecture heard on our section is constantly overrun by chattering, kids crying (that part doesnt bother me), or laughing.

Insha Allah one day I will be able to overcome my grievances :)

:wasalam:
 
alkathiri

alkathiri

As-Shafaa'i(Brother)
Southrn_Muslimah said:
:salam2:

You hit it on the nail. Not all but many do just congregate around each other. Sometimes I feel like some of these ladies (not just Arab ladies but all ethnicities) have lasers for eyes and are constantly checking you up and down.
I guess when I go to the masjid I see it as an opportunity to learn more about Islam. Very rarely do I find the ladies (not just Arabs) not speaking of Islam except for the college ladies in my group. What can I say I am addicted to Islam.I find that the ladies section is a little bit more lax and more about socializing. Indeed I would love to jump over the screen they put up so I can sit with the men and have a good lecture. Most of the time the lecture heard on our section is constantly overrun by chattering, kids crying (that part doesnt bother me), or laughing.

Insha Allah one day I will be able to overcome my grievances :)

:wasalam:
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maybe they are just curious or they want you to do the right thing....
This actually reminds me of a brother who used to be a member here, dont know where he has gone to...
i felt that he was on rampage in getting islamic knowledge.

Not to be arrogant . But i find Arab brothers to be open and humorous and also other races like Pakistani. I click quite well with Pakistanis ....And i find them to be quite funny at times

About disturbance from babies crying:
Well just a suggestion . How about sitting the first line behind the screen or sit next to a speaker/ Amplifier
 
Southrn_Muslimah

Southrn_Muslimah

bnqɯnɥ 'ɥɐq
alkathiri said:
maybe they are just curious or they want you to do the right thing....

About disturbance from babies crying:
Well just a suggestion . How about sitting the first line behind the screen or sit next to a speaker/ Amplifier
Click to expand...

:salam2:
Actually when I sit really close to the screen to listen most ladies grab me to sit back. lol. It is okay though :) Lately the Imam has been using the speaker system so I can just sit in another room. Or I can take the other route and just start listening to lectures online then I wouldn't have these issues lol.

Nah the babies don't bother me just constant chatter and laughing.

JazakAllah khair for your advice.

:wasalam:
 
Southrn_Muslimah

Southrn_Muslimah

bnqɯnɥ 'ɥɐq
:salam2:

I click well with the Indian and Pakistani ladies very well. They feed me good food :D I get along with the Palestinians, but the ones around my age. And I cant forget about my Persian and Afghani friends. They are really comical and feed me tons of food also haha.

:wasalam:
 
alkathiri

alkathiri

As-Shafaa'i(Brother)
Southrn_Muslimah said:
:salam2:

I click well with the Indian and Pakistani ladies very well. They feed me good food :D I get along with the Palestinians, but the ones around my age. And I cant forget about my Persian and Afghani friends. They are really comical and feed me tons of food also haha.

:wasalam:
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Its all about food.....:SMILY303: I thought food makes man happy not that much of ladies

I just want to share with everyone.
Dont the mosque in your community like have rice and everything on a big plate and the brothers come together and eat in the same plate . This is usually done after lectures.
 
Southrn_Muslimah

Southrn_Muslimah

bnqɯnɥ 'ɥɐq
alkathiri said:
Its all about food.....:SMILY303: I thought food makes man happy not that much of ladies

I just want to share with everyone.
Dont the mosque in your community like have rice and everything on a big plate and the brothers come together and eat in the same plate . This is usually done after lectures.
Click to expand...

:salam2:
Well I know there is food on the men's side afterwards but I never know what they eat. One of the big mysteries. Usually if it something really good they serve sweets to everyone. They drink a lot of chai at our masjid when there are lectures and what not. We need a Chai Addicts group :/
 
alkathiri

alkathiri

As-Shafaa'i(Brother)
Southrn_Muslimah said:
:salam2:
Well I know there is food on the men's side afterwards but I never know what they eat. One of the big mysteries. Usually if it something really good they serve sweets to everyone. They drink a lot of chai at our masjid when there are lectures and what not. We need a Chai Addicts group :/
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Mine is briyani but what is chai. Is that a pakistani food?
 
Southrn_Muslimah

Southrn_Muslimah

bnqɯnɥ 'ɥɐq
alkathiri said:
Mine is briyani but what is chai. Is that a pakistani food?
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:salam2:

Nah its a tea :) They drink it like its going out of style. I prefer my coffee though.

This is what it consists of usually

• rich black tea
• heavy milk
• a combination of various spices
• a sweetner
 
alkathiri

alkathiri

As-Shafaa'i(Brother)
Southrn_Muslimah said:
:salam2:

Nah its a tea :) They drink it like its going out of style. I prefer my coffee though.

This is what it consists of usually

• rich black tea
• heavy milk
• a combination of various spices
• a sweetner
Click to expand...

ohhhh.......i think i know.......it goes well with prata or roti canai ....MashAllah
Heaven feeling......

http://staff.science.nus.edu.sg/~sivasothi/etc/makanminum/kopiNteh/text/teh.html

The first picture in the link above but the colour is thicker.
 
H

hussain.mahammed

a lonely traveller
As salamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wabrakatuhu
I thought this thread is about the loneliness of reverts. Reading through the posts I find it so amusing. You guys seem to know a lot of South Asian dishes (Indian, pakistani, bangladeshi etc). Check the kitchen section too out here to learn more about our food items. :biggrin:
I always love to meet new brothers. In the last 4-5 years I have met a number of brothers who are from different ethnic backgrounds. Alhamdulillah in our mosque, all kinds of people are welcome and there is hardly any discrimination.
wa/salam
 
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