why difficult for pious ppl to get married?

[ahmed_indian]

:salam2:,

i read many posts in other forums that brothers and sisters are pious but its hard for them to find a spouse.

wht could be the reason? is it test of Allah?

or bcoz its hard to find a best apple in many apples? or maybe they are not working enough to find one?

many dont tell to their parents/relatives/frnds that they want to get married to a righteous person. so how they will meet one?

they can tell to their frnds...."well i m looking for a religious boy/girl, if u know or find one just come running to me". or something like that.

 

[saima abdullah]

wsalam
well best solution to this problem is rush to Allah
ask Him for a pious spouse because He knows the hearts of people n knew who have His fear in heart,,,, He will surly pave way out for you inshaAllah

 

[zbhotto]

:salam2:,

i read many posts in other forums that brothers and sisters are pious but its hard for them to find a spouse.

wht could be the reason? is it test of Allah?

or b.

Dear Brother,
How come you found very relevant and exciting thread every time. Your thread perfectly match with me and many others. Sorry I am not claiming to be pious but yes Indeed I fulfill my all obligations to ALLAH (SWT). I give up this dream and praying to get wife in the next life. May Allah (SWT) forgive our sins and prevent us from detaining in the Hell.

 

[ahmed_indian]

Dear Brother,
How come you found very relevant and exciting thread every time. Your thread perfectly match with me and many others. Sorry I am not claiming to be pious but yes Indeed I fulfill my all obligations to ALLAH (SWT). I give up this dream and praying to get wife in the next life. May Allah (SWT) forgive our sins and prevent us from detaining in the Hell.

amen to ur dua akhi and jazaak Allah khair bro for liking the thread.

but....dont give up getting a pious girl. have trust in Allah. inshallah, one day we'll get one. Ameen Ameen

if we muslim men and women give up finding a partner, how we'll build up a strong muslim society?

as its said: we are for them and they are for us.:tongue:

may Allah get of all of us married to righteous spouses and give us pious children.

 

[BinKhadija]

It is not really a Test from Allah, I would say. Not having a better mobile phone isn't a test, is it?! I believe it's more like: Wait, this is not the time yet, my servant; and Allah would bless us with happiness of marriage when it' best for us. Moreover, yes once when it is time and we start looking for the better half, searching for a good looking but tasty, good apple is hard too.

Therefore, I think there is nothing much new and it has always been this way - from the days of the Prophet Muhammad (saw) until today. Brother Ahmed, if you feel you are equipped for marriage, do continue making Dua to Allah for it, let others around you know about it and be very good to people around You, Insha'Allah soon your rightful desires will be met! Ameen.

 

[slaveofAllah88]

aslam o alaikum
well in my opinion if u ask SubhanAllah islam has spread so much that we are all spread out, in ur community it becomes hard or wat i belive it becomes hard cuz well guyz lower their gaze and women follow modesty , these were the characeristic tha people use to refer to when they used to talk to someone before NOw the ppl who are most up to date with fashion, or western music are talked about and praised .... so the society has changed from being religious to other things....
thats also one of the reason guyz dont always know about a religious pious women while women dont know of a religious man, PLUS not every person who has a beard and sister who wears a niqaab or hijaab is pious, it has become very hard to trust anyone, and i think thats one of the signs of Qiyamah as well that it will be very hard to trust others

 

[revert2007]

wsalam
well best solution to this problem is rush to Allah
ask Him for a pious spouse because He knows the hearts of people n knew who have His fear in heart,,,, He will surly pave way out for you inshaAllah

yup u hv well said sis..that's wat i did and that what i got....it i all the matter of time..He knows when u should get married...marriage is not as easy as u think...it is beyond that...if u are not really well prepared,u can easily get divorced...so think carefully and get well prepared for everything before u get married...

 

[saima abdullah]

yup u hv well said sis..that's wat i did and that what i got....it i all the matter of time..He knows when u should get married...marriage is not as easy as u think...it is beyond that...if u are not really well prepared,u can easily get divorced...so think carefully and get well prepared for everything before u get married...

m agreed with you sister, i wonder how people take marriage so lite its a heavy responsibility... although there is ease with every responsibility... but one must realize the up coming duties of married life along with fantasy...

 

[tdubai]

:salam2:,

i read many posts in other forums that brothers and sisters are pious but its hard for them to find a spouse.

wht could be the reason? is it test of Allah?

or bcoz its hard to find a best apple in many apples? or maybe they are not working enough to find one?

many dont tell to their parents/relatives/frnds that they want to get married to a righteous person. so how they will meet one?

they can tell to their frnds...."well i m looking for a religious boy/girl, if u know or find one just come running to me". or something like that.

It could be all the mencionned reasons.But what is sure for me is that nowadays it's hard to get married even for those who aren't pious.We live in societies that encourage individualisme.

But when you are pious,it's even harder because you have more criterias than non-pious people.

 

[tdubai]

It is not really a Test from Allah, I would say. Not having a better mobile phone isn't a test, is it?! I believe it's more like: Wait, this is not the time yet, my servant; and Allah would bless us with happiness of marriage when it' best for us. Moreover, yes once when it is time and we start looking for the better half, searching for a good looking but tasty, good apple is hard too.

Therefore, I think there is nothing much new and it has always been this way - from the days of the Prophet Muhammad (saw) until today. Brother Ahmed, if you feel you are equipped for marriage, do continue making Dua to Allah for it, let others around you know about it and be very good to people around You, Insha'Allah soon your rightful desires will be met! Ameen.

I absolutely agree that Allah sub7anahu wa ta3ala knows when it's the best time for us,but it can be a test too.To see how much you will be patient and fight your temtations.

 

[slaveofAllah88]

It could be all the mencionned reasons.But what is sure for me is that nowadays it's hard to get married even for those who aren't pious.We live in societies that encourage individualisme.

But when you are pious,it's even harder because you have more criterias than non-pious people.

yes brother i totally agree with u , Im not sure if for sis this is a big thing but especially for brothers
like due to the media and stuff i noticed alot of pious sister seek that filmi hero than a simple person what i noticed doesn't go for all sis

and even the pious bros they seek like a model than a pious person

 

[Seeking Allah's Mercy]

welll ppl around me find it hard coz mostly they are tied to someone of their parents choice.................which is mostly based on beauty,family status,education and jobs.and they hav no say in it.

and if a person wants to find a spouse by them selves than they need to communicate with the opposite sex to find the right one.and talking to opposite gender for something other then business is haraam according to many ppl...........here on TTI too.

well i think the best way is to refer ur case to Allah.there is no doubt about the problem getting solved this way.............

 

[BinKhadija]

I absolutely agree that Allah sub7anahu wa ta3ala knows when it's the best time for us,but it can be a test too.To see how much you will be patient and fight your temtations.

If that's the case, nafl Fasts do a great job.

 

[BinKhadija]

yes brother i totally agree with u , Im not sure if for sis this is a big thing but especially for brothers
like due to the media and stuff i noticed alot of pious sister seek that filmi hero than a simple person what i noticed doesn't go for all sis

and even the pious bros they seek like a model than a pious person

There's no shortage of sisters who wish for a brother with beard, akhi. Don't worry. Generally girls don't go for looks at all, I have always thought.

 

[meer suhail]

Aslam o alykum

well i dont know
i had parents problem ,

and from ther on wards my life has been biggest test and in gutters ,

 

[BrotherInIslam7]

:salam2:

I have come to agree with my bro Bin Khadija 100% with his response(s) to this thread.

Firstly, I would like to downplay the opinion that most of the brothers & sisters are not looking for a pious spouse. Even the ones whom we classify as not that pious (which is entirely our opinion. mind !), most of them seek pious spouses in addition to the pious brothers and sisters ofcourse.

Plus, there is nothing wrong to seek to marry a sister based on her beauty if she has reasonable piety (again this is one's own opinion !).

If we all brothers are chasing for the super pious spouse, then the situation is no different from that of the parents who delay marriage of their daughters in search of the perfect rich boy. How will all the other sisters get married !?

Then again, there is nothing wrong with seeking a pious spouse. But brothers, a harsh reminder. Don't expect to be looking for super pious qualities in a potential spouse, if you yourself aren't at that level.

For example : If you go looking for a girl with qualities such as :- never spoken to a boy, wakes up every other day for tahajjud, wears niqab and has memorised major portions of the Quran and Hadeeth.

Without me even having to tell you, you know that you have narrowed down the pool of prospectives to a narrow minority. The point I am trying to make is even though it is something commendable that brothers seek a pious Muslimah as a wife, taking it to the extreme is only going to make matters really hard.

Plus, we should also remember that a muslimah can Insha'Allah tallah increase her level of piety after marrying. I have seen a lot of sisters in my family, who have become more conscious of their deen after marriage.

Finally, it is normal that one weighs out the pros and cons of a Muslimah in his mind after meeting her with the intention of marriage,but the best decision making tool in this matter is Salatul Istikarah.

Allah swt has through his Rasool SAW, commanded us to marry in order to protect our chastity and for protection from evil things. Therefore when we seek to marry to fulfill the above mentioned and seek Allah's pleasure, we should turn to help to Allah swt in this matter of finding a good spouse.

I hope my contribution to this thread is taken in the right spirit and at the same time Insha'Allah I hope it is of benefit to others.

 

[nyerekareem]

:salam2:

i think the pious have a hard time getting married because they're also seeking a pious wife. having a pious wife is the best of the reasons of seeking a spouse. we know that a person is married for her beauty, wealth, status and piety. the thing is that even non pious brothers are seeking out pious sisters. having said that, there's much competition out there. but we also have to keep in mind that for every thing that we may dislike in the personality of our spouses, there is another thing in her personality that we may love about her.

so even though that you may be seeking the pious woman, don't be so fixated on finding a pious woman that you ignore rich, pretty and noble woman willing to marry you and still haven't found your pious wife. as someone who has had a hard time finding a wife in the past, each day without someone becomes harder and harder and requires that you become stronger so that you don't fall into zinaa. so always keep these things in mind.

 

[BinKhadija]

Plus, we should also remember that a muslimah can Insha'Allah tallah increase her level of piety after marrying. I have seen a lot of sisters in my family, who have become more conscious of their deen after marriage.

Jazak Allah for your beneficial answer, akhi. So yep, once you are ready, it's all about making Dua, putting your trust in Him Almighty and having Patience.

Wa'alykum salaam wa'rehmatullah.