Wouild this be appropriate or inappropriate...?

[DanyalSAC]

Recently my department consolidated with another in a bigger building. When I was waking through the parking lot a woman drove by me and gave me the Salaam. A couple days later she followed me out the door and gave me the salaam again. She was not in a hijab, was wearing big dangly earrings but was a very nice lady. Turns out that she is indeed a sister but sounds like she goes to one of the more "progressive" masajid - she said her Imam is a jazz musician.

At any rate - I know there are other brothers who work in this cluster of buildings, and I would like to get us all together to pray the afternoon prayers since we're all stuck here and can't get to a masjid. In the mean time, the sister says she's been doing her salat in her car. In my old building, I asserted myself & got my company to give us (there were 3 other brothers there) a prayer room. In this building they did the same but its not very large.

Now my question is this: Until I can get the brothers together for salat, would it be appropriate or inappropriate for me to offer this sister to pray together? I know she would pray behind me but I think that's a position that's usually reserved for a husband/wife relationship unless its in a mosque. Am I wrong? What is the sunnah - if there is any - of a woman following the prayer leader who is NOT a relative and NOT an imam? I just don't like the idea of this sister - she's a bit older than me, close to her 60s - praying in her car when our weather can top 112 F (about 44C) on bad days.

The other option is for her to use our prayer room before or after I use it.

Thanks ini advance!

Danyal

 

[ahmed_indian]

not sure brother.

but few details really made upset: woman close to 60's wearing dazzling earrings, praying in car and imam is jazz musician.

surely we are living in end times. may Allah save us all.

 

[~Ali_]

assalamualaikum brother - I kinda laughed at the "dazzling earrings" and "jazz musician" but then it too kinda dawned on me... what kinda islam is she following?

if you hadnt mentioned her age then it wouldve been a easy ordeal to sort out lol becauase we all know when you got a guy and a girl in one room shaytans the third

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The other option is for her to use our prayer room before or after I use it.
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I would stick with the safest option.

 

[revert2007]

even in the mosque the prayer room for women and men is separated.u can only pray together with ur mahram women.since this women is still being stylish and so on,it is not nice to pray together with her.perhaps she is nice yet u dont know whats on her mind except Allah.as one of the member said.let her pray first in the prayer room and u pray after she finish.no matter who she is or how old she is,do not ever be alone with a woman.

 

[mufakkir]

Salaam Alaikum brother,

I would really advise you to seek some scholarly advice on this before making the decision to pray together.
From the little that i know, it may be inapproriate since, 1) you are non-mahram and 2) there is no duroor (necessity) for you to do so. For this reason stick to praying separately until you can get some good scholarly input.

was salaam

 

[fada_all]

even in the mosque the prayer room for women and men is separated.u can only pray together with ur mahram women.since this women is still being stylish and so on,it is not nice to pray together with her.perhaps she is nice yet u dont know whats on her mind except Allah.as one of the member said.let her pray first in the prayer room and u pray after she finish.no matter who she is or how old she is,do not ever be alone with a woman.

salam alikum

i totally agree with you dear ukhtiiiiiiiiiin,its right they mustn't be together in the same place.......la hawla wa qowata ialla biallah

and whats this

.......was wearing big dangly earrings but was a very nice lady. Turns out that she is indeed a sister but sounds like she goes to one of the more "progressive" masajid - she said her Imam is a jazz musician.

may allah guide us all to the right path ..

 

[AleahKoto]

She has already found a place to pray. I would leave it alone. Then, if you can get the brothers and other sisters to get a place to pray together, then invite her.

60ish means nothing.......you should never be alone with her no matter what the situation......

 

[kayleigh]

I don't know, but don't let her personal details discourage you from being nice to her. She is still a Muslim and perhaps you could help influence her to change some of her ways (okay probably not since she's already 60 lol but it is good if she is surrounded by people who..well, aren't into the big dangly earring thing lol).

However, you should tell her to speak to the company because I think it may be illegal for them to provide you a prayer room and not equal accomodations for women. She could easily pressure them into giving her some space.

 

[a_stranger]

For sound hearts

On the authority of Abu 'Abdullah al-Nu'man bin Bashir, radiyallahu 'anhu, who said: I heard the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam, say:

"Truly, what is lawful is evident, and what is unlawful is evident, and in between the two are matters which are doubtful which many people do not know. He who guards against doubtful things keeps his religion and honour blameless, and he who indulges in doubtful things indulges in fact in unlawful things, just as a shepherd who pastures his flock round a preserve will soon pasture them in it. Beware, every king has a preserve, and the things Allah has declared unlawful are His preserves. Beware, in the body there is a flesh; if it is sound, the whole body is sound, and if it is corrupt, the whole body is corrupt, and behold, it is the heart."

[Al-Bukhari & Muslim]

 

[DanyalSAC]

I don't know, but don't let her personal details discourage you from being nice to her. She is still a Muslim and perhaps you could help influence her to change some of her ways (okay probably not since she's already 60 lol but it is good if she is surrounded by people who..well, aren't into the big dangly earring thing lol).

However, you should tell her to speak to the company because I think it may be illegal for them to provide you a prayer room and not equal accomodations for women. She could easily pressure them into giving her some space.

I need to clear up a misconception here - the company didn't provide ME specifically and exclusively with this prayer room, though I am the one who campaigned for it. Anyone - Muslim, Christian, etc - can use the room as long as it is empty.

At any rate thanks everyone for your advice and yes I am still friendly to her & greet her appropriately.

(The subject of her Imam came up when we were discusing my reverting to Islam. I told her giving up music was one of the hardest things I had to do and she said "Why give up music!? My Imam is a Jazz musician!" Of course I didn't want to get into a long argument about ahadith etc but this brothers and sisters is why newbies like myself get SOOOOOOOOOO confused!!!)

 

[kayleigh]

Then why don't you tell her about the room? She could wait until after you finish praying then use it herself or you could wait and let her pray first then use it?

 

[icadams]

I would be interested in hearing more about this jazz imam. What kind of mosque is she going to?
Also, have you considered some sort of barrier in the room. Even though the room is not yours specifically, perhaps you could acquire movable, temporary walls, like they use for cubicles.

 

[rtbour]

this situation reminds me of one i encountered right when i converted. women are not required to wear head covers, said my muslima friend. hadith is not to be taken seriously, said the imam. i quickly figured out there was a problem with this masjid. hahaha. only in america, folks. only in america. =) may Allah guide us all to the correct path.

 

[revert2007]

this situation reminds me of one i encountered right when i converted. women are not required to wear head covers, said my muslima friend. hadith is not to be taken seriously, said the imam. i quickly figured out there was a problem with this masjid. hahaha. only in america, folks. only in america. =) may Allah guide us all to the correct path.

alhamdulilah ur in TTI to clearify everything.

 

[yasak80]

Salamun aleykum brother Danyal
if this room for only pray I would say to set a screen in the room because sometimes people do that.
But mashaAllah that she study to pray on time and doesnt give up praying even she is unhijabi and likes jazz

I wish inshaALLAH , ALLAH will bring her to the straight path...:tti_sister:

 

[DanyalSAC]

Then why don't you tell her about the room? She could wait until after you finish praying then use it herself or you could wait and let her pray first then use it?

She knows about the room. I have no problem waiting for her to use it... its not large and the company has ruled only one person in it at a time. If I could get a group of brothers to pray it would not be in this room, we would use an empty conference room or inshallah outside in the courtyard - I for one have NO problems praying in public, and have, several times. Currently I don't use the room myself. I go outside and do my salat near the picnic tables or in an empty corner here in my department. My coworkers are so accustomed to the sight of me praying they don't even notice any more.

Salamun aleykum brother Danyal
if this room for only pray I would say to set a screen in the room because sometimes people do that.
But mashaAllah that she study to pray on time and doesnt give up praying even she is unhijabi and likes jazz

I wish inshaALLAH , ALLAH will bring her to the straight path...:tti_sister:

Walaikum asalaam! Mashallah I totally agree with you - she may not wear a hijab and I believe her Imam is Sufi (she identified herself as Sufi/Sunni - whatever that means) but she IS al-Hajji having completed her Hajj in 2005, may Allah accept it.

 

[kayleigh]

Walaikum asalaam! Mashallah I totally agree with you - she may not wear a hijab and I believe her Imam is Sufi (she identified herself as Sufi/Sunni - whatever that means) but she IS al-Hajji having completed her Hajj in 2005, may Allah accept it.

Well if she knows about it and doesn't use it there's not much else you can do.

Sufis aren't an entirely different sect - most Sufis identify as Sunnis.