Would you prevent your wife from entering the forums ?
- Thread starter *Jasmine*
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francly speaking, my wife discourages me to join any forum
salam to all. if i have a confidence about my wife that she will learn something positive, and she won't be affected by some weird threads that can make someone confused,upset or hesitated; i will not discourage her to join TTI. but there are some threads though these are not very many....... really can hurt someone, though most of our threads here in TTI are healthy and lot of things we can learn through these but sometimes there are some threads, i can't understand why that kinds of threads can make a place here. it's like childish, just playing around, that makes no sense, those are just for passing the time anyhow, but we are here to learn about islam and increase our iman. i respect and pray for some of our brothers and sisters who put some educative and valuable threads that really help to know about islam through the refference of quran and sunnah but what is the qualities of some threads? i would not say anything, people here gonna judge, only Allah knows if we are utilizing our time properly or not. oneday, we will have to back to him and report how we used our time. May Allah save us all that we can follow the proper teaching of islam, the way our prophet(s) showed. ameen
salam to all. if i have a confidence about my wife that she will learn something positive, and she won't be affected by some weird threads that can make someone confused,upset or hesitated; i will not discourage her to join TTI. but there are some threads though these are not very many....... really can hurt someone, though most of our threads here in TTI are healthy and lot of things we can learn through these but sometimes there are some threads, i can't understand why that kinds of threads can make a place here. it's like childish, just playing around, that makes no sense, those are just for passing the time anyhow, but we are here to learn about islam and increase our iman. i respect and pray for some of our brothers and sisters who put some educative and valuable threads that really help to know about islam through the refference of quran and sunnah but what is the qualities of some threads? i would not say anything, people here gonna judge, only Allah knows if we are utilizing our time properly or not. oneday, we will have to back to him and report how we used our time. May Allah save us all that we can follow the proper teaching of islam, the way our prophet(s) showed. ameen
:salam2:
I knew a sister who's father forbade from joining and visiting forums..and when she got engaged her husband to-be also asked her not to join or visit any...I got very curious and asked her *why?*...she said that both of them see that most forums are mixed genders and though it is mixing of genders in cyberspace they think it is inappropriate for me to be in this situation..especially because there are men with a weak nafs..and I am a young woman and shaitan is around us to make us do that which displeases Allah..
In a way I saw where her father and her husband to-be were coming from..and I respected that..though I myself join forums and do not mind if they are gender-restricted or not..because I am old enough to know my boundaries in deen and adab..should I get married though..and my husband brings up the issue..I will do what he asks not because I want to be subordinate and he KNOWS BEST..but because it's something trivial and my husband's ridha is more important than a forum..I won't have a problem with that..and I do not think we should be shocked by this sort request at all..
P.S. I am VERY anti-facebook and myspace...so if my husband has one I will ask him to deactivate it..and he won't have a problem with me ever having one..because I really wish the two domains would just SHUT DOWN altogether..because they're such a fitnah!..ao'otho billah
(that should give the hint that some sisters might make requests about "online habits" as well
)
I knew a sister who's father forbade from joining and visiting forums..and when she got engaged her husband to-be also asked her not to join or visit any...I got very curious and asked her *why?*...she said that both of them see that most forums are mixed genders and though it is mixing of genders in cyberspace they think it is inappropriate for me to be in this situation..especially because there are men with a weak nafs..and I am a young woman and shaitan is around us to make us do that which displeases Allah..
In a way I saw where her father and her husband to-be were coming from..and I respected that..though I myself join forums and do not mind if they are gender-restricted or not..because I am old enough to know my boundaries in deen and adab..should I get married though..and my husband brings up the issue..I will do what he asks not because I want to be subordinate and he KNOWS BEST..but because it's something trivial and my husband's ridha is more important than a forum..I won't have a problem with that..and I do not think we should be shocked by this sort request at all..
P.S. I am VERY anti-facebook and myspace...so if my husband has one I will ask him to deactivate it..and he won't have a problem with me ever having one..because I really wish the two domains would just SHUT DOWN altogether..because they're such a fitnah!..ao'otho billah
(that should give the hint that some sisters might make requests about "online habits" as well
)wannabe_muttaqi
A MUSLIM BROTHER
Asslamu Alaikum
:salam2:
I voted i'm not sure coz i really am not sure what will i do in this kind of situation. I'm not saying that TTI is not good at the same time it is a PUBLIC forum still.
we can say both in this regard so i stick to my decision i'm not sure.
:salam2:
P.S.: Very innovative thread sister. LOL ( No offense please)
:salam2:
I voted i'm not sure coz i really am not sure what will i do in this kind of situation. I'm not saying that TTI is not good at the same time it is a PUBLIC forum still.
we can say both in this regard so i stick to my decision i'm not sure.
:salam2:
P.S.: Very innovative thread sister. LOL ( No offense please)
Isra
aka Tree2008
As Salamo Alaikome...
Brother forgive me but I disagree with your point of view here. Let me first say that you have every right to have your own opinion on what you allow or do not allow your wife to do and then of course that is between the two of you so this is not what I am concerned with.
What I am concerned with about your post is what you said about learning Islam on the internet and how people should go to the Masjid if they want to know Islam. Brother that is a good dream but in reality many reverts live in countrys where Islam is in the minority. In the USA or at least in the area I live the Masjid is very far (probably 30 mins drive from my house assuming I have a car) and many people dont have transportation. Where I live there are no buses that run from my town to the town the Masjid is located so if I dont have a car then I cannot go to the Masjid. I do however have a computer and most of what I learned about Islam (aside from a few books I have) was learned online.
I think what I am trying to say is we should all keep an open mind and realize that not everyone lives close to a Masjid. Take into consideration the problems others face before we make statements about where a person is learning the deen. I am just grateful I am ABLE to learn and for me it doesnt matter how or where I am learning but just the fact that I AM LEARNING!
Please forgive me if anyone was offended by something I said as this was not my intention. May Allah bless us and keep us all on the straight path........ameen!!!!
gazkour
Junior Member
Assalamo alikom wa rahmato Allah wa barakato
I totally agree with Tree2008. I live in small town where there's not even a mosque. The ONLY way I have been learning is through the net, specially through TTI. My husband doesn't love the idea, but I have always to remind him that is my only mean of learning at the moment, so he kind of , understands. Even when we were living in Edinburgh, where the mosque was there basically just for people to pray, I was still learning everything from the net and some books.
People don't seem to understand how much I have learnt from here and how much I continue to do so everyday... and my husband knows that too; so basically he cannot say much.
As for those who won't allow their wives to enter a forum, I think it all depends on the iman of each individual and that's linked to the 'kind' of forum you would go to, of course.
I think it would be very sad (and telling) for a husband no to be able to trust his wife about this. If you cannot trust your wife entering a forum in order to get knowledge, then you should not be able to trust her to go shopping either.
I also cannot agree with the sister saying that your husband "always" knows what is best for you, we are talking here about islamic knowledge, and this knowledge cannot harm .
May Allah guide us all.
Assalamo alikom wa rahmato Allahi wa barakato
I totally agree with Tree2008. I live in small town where there's not even a mosque. The ONLY way I have been learning is through the net, specially through TTI. My husband doesn't love the idea, but I have always to remind him that is my only mean of learning at the moment, so he kind of , understands. Even when we were living in Edinburgh, where the mosque was there basically just for people to pray, I was still learning everything from the net and some books.
People don't seem to understand how much I have learnt from here and how much I continue to do so everyday... and my husband knows that too; so basically he cannot say much.
As for those who won't allow their wives to enter a forum, I think it all depends on the iman of each individual and that's linked to the 'kind' of forum you would go to, of course.
I think it would be very sad (and telling) for a husband no to be able to trust his wife about this. If you cannot trust your wife entering a forum in order to get knowledge, then you should not be able to trust her to go shopping either.
I also cannot agree with the sister saying that your husband "always" knows what is best for you, we are talking here about islamic knowledge, and this knowledge cannot harm .
May Allah guide us all.
Assalamo alikom wa rahmato Allahi wa barakato
I would beg my wife to sign up on TTI and be an active member... I wish she would as a matter of fact. I am very shocked at the poll results.. From reading the posts I don't see much opposition.. It makes me wonder if there are some enemy members who are dilluting the poll by posting negatively in order to corrupt the image of Islam. That can easily happen you know.. We have so many lurkers on here. Allah knows best...
Astagfir Allah if I have doubted and errored.
.
Astagfir Allah if I have doubted and errored.
.
TheKnowledgeSeeker
A Believer In Heart
Assalamu Alaykum,
I also answered the question although i am a sister because i thought it was a good question for both genders so hope you don't mind.
Anyways, i think in order for a marriage to be successful you need to trust your spouse and when you tell your spouse they can't join forum it’s like saying you don't trust them.
I also answered the question although i am a sister because i thought it was a good question for both genders so hope you don't mind.
Anyways, i think in order for a marriage to be successful you need to trust your spouse and when you tell your spouse they can't join forum it’s like saying you don't trust them.
al-muslimah
Junior Member
lets say I was married and I was the male, I would say NO I won't prevent her from entering forums. It's good to learn and share experiences with others.
slaveofAllah88
Slave of Allah (swt)
aslam o alikum, im not sure what the problem is ... I would be happy if my wife learned about Islam from this forum and increased my knowledge too so we both can be better muslim, especially if the wife is at home and has some time to spare. alot of time husband get so worked up with job and other stuff they dont have time.
maybe its just me, but i love religious conversations
maybe its just me, but i love religious conversations
al-muslimah
Junior Member
salam alaycom,
oh my good brother "Salem" i cant believe you said that. well why are you on the forum if you wont let your wife on and you think that there is fitnah and not good things on the internet..im sorry but thats weird..akhi in everything there is good and bad stuff. okay then when you get to marry a wife..would you marry a normal wife from the street..no..you want her to be a pious wife and a trusting women. when you marry a religuois women, trusting will come by defualt.
im sorry if i offended you it wasnt my intention. just wanted to clear the point.
oh my good brother "Salem" i cant believe you said that. well why are you on the forum if you wont let your wife on and you think that there is fitnah and not good things on the internet..im sorry but thats weird..akhi in everything there is good and bad stuff. okay then when you get to marry a wife..would you marry a normal wife from the street..no..you want her to be a pious wife and a trusting women. when you marry a religuois women, trusting will come by defualt.
im sorry if i offended you it wasnt my intention. just wanted to clear the point.
FreedomFighter
Junior Member
:salam2:
i think that if you know your wife or husband is a good and trusting person and good faith, then you also know that she or he wont do cheat on you. if your wife or husband realy loves you and trust you and you also the same, then why would they cheat on you? trust and sharing what's going on is important, if either one of them are in forums or sites, then the other should know about it. why would a pious husband or wife cheat on each other? but again it depends on how is your spouse. and if you think the relationship can spoil, then its better to avoid it. also if the husband want to prevent his wife, then he also shouldnt do it, as its can be easier for some men to fall in the trap, and also can be easy for some women to fall in the trap. should be equal
i think that if you know your wife or husband is a good and trusting person and good faith, then you also know that she or he wont do cheat on you. if your wife or husband realy loves you and trust you and you also the same, then why would they cheat on you? trust and sharing what's going on is important, if either one of them are in forums or sites, then the other should know about it. why would a pious husband or wife cheat on each other? but again it depends on how is your spouse. and if you think the relationship can spoil, then its better to avoid it. also if the husband want to prevent his wife, then he also shouldnt do it, as its can be easier for some men to fall in the trap, and also can be easy for some women to fall in the trap. should be equal
Assalamualaykum wa rahmatullaah,
Its not really about trusting the other person, its about mistrusting shaytaan actually, we have no reason to trust an arch enemy.
But if people think a forum is not a likely medium through which shaytaan will try his tricks then to you be your judgement and to others be theres.
Its not really about trusting the other person, its about mistrusting shaytaan actually, we have no reason to trust an arch enemy.
But if people think a forum is not a likely medium through which shaytaan will try his tricks then to you be your judgement and to others be theres.
fada_all
Junior Member
salam alikom
to grasp it as a logical deduction , i sum up all points said here for this topic is its all depends on the mentality and nothing else , this latter has a great effect on both man and woman , yet to emphacise on this point its man's mentality which control all ..specially future of hiw wife...
salam alikom
to grasp it as a logical deduction , i sum up all points said here for this topic is its all depends on the mentality and nothing else , this latter has a great effect on both man and woman , yet to emphacise on this point its man's mentality which control all ..specially future of hiw wife...
salam alikom
As-salaamu `alaykum
Why has this thread gotten so much attention? We have topics concerning Islaam which receive few replies and views, but everyone rushes to express their words on a matter as insignificant as this, matters which in reality, do not concern them in the slightest (the only real concern being the shar`i stance). And how many times is this the case? How many times on a trivial or controversial topic does everyone hasten to express their views, without thinking twice? It does not matter if you would or wouldn't prevent your wife, but why is it straight after a sister says farewell, we start talking about her affair?
As for a shar`i response, a man has every right to prevent his wife from forums, and he could have nothing but good reasons for this (TTI included), enough to fill up the sky. And even if he didn't have reasons good enough, or reasons you do not agree with, it doesn't matter a single bit, because obedience would be obligatory. So may Allaah reward the sister who done what was right, and was so quick to act upon goodness.
This thread is closed. And if you think my words are harsh, then believe me, the damage this thread has done is far more severe, if you but knew...
Why has this thread gotten so much attention? We have topics concerning Islaam which receive few replies and views, but everyone rushes to express their words on a matter as insignificant as this, matters which in reality, do not concern them in the slightest (the only real concern being the shar`i stance). And how many times is this the case? How many times on a trivial or controversial topic does everyone hasten to express their views, without thinking twice? It does not matter if you would or wouldn't prevent your wife, but why is it straight after a sister says farewell, we start talking about her affair?
As for a shar`i response, a man has every right to prevent his wife from forums, and he could have nothing but good reasons for this (TTI included), enough to fill up the sky. And even if he didn't have reasons good enough, or reasons you do not agree with, it doesn't matter a single bit, because obedience would be obligatory. So may Allaah reward the sister who done what was right, and was so quick to act upon goodness.
This thread is closed. And if you think my words are harsh, then believe me, the damage this thread has done is far more severe, if you but knew...
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