Your advice needed pls

[palestine]

Asalamu 3alaykum wara7matullahi wabarakatuhu ikhwati wa ikhwani fillah. i help take care of my nephews and niece. they are four children and their mom is my sister so i help as much as i can. I help them to the extent that i forget to help my ownself, meaning i have not given myself enough time to read my Quran or to do just day to day things like usual people would. right after i come home from school i go straight to my sister and her children and i help them out till around midnight. i come home from school around 4pm, and i stay with her and the children till around 10pm or 12 pm. before it used to be around 1 am or 2am. anyhow...i feel that she is ungrateful. i understand that children can be a lot of work and that she needs help, and i can say i have given her 120% of my best efforts to tend to everything she says and/or needs. yet if i step foot out of her house or i go to a friend's house which i never do unless it is probably like ONCE a year, or if i go and attend a lecture in another city, she gets angry at me. and complains about me. now there are 7 days in a week...i go to saturday and sunday islamic school. the 5 weekdays i do not read my Quran once, and on saturdays and sundays i hardly read the Quran either becuase i'm so busy helping her. yet still, she thinks i'm not helping her enough. not to be rude...but they are not my children. i'm just their aunty. and i've done more than i can for her and her children...i've done my best and that's not enough for her. Unlike her husband, i do not neglect her. he goes to work and comes home midnight or after that time. and even when he didn't used to work, he would constantly stay away from home purposely although he's children need him. i feel as though i'm the father. i feel like crying right now because i'm in highschool, trying to make it through every year at the same time helping her out. i failed an entire class because i didn't do my homework because i was too busy to do it since i was helping her out. i'm not the usual teenager that goes out to shop for make-up or clothing all the time. i'm not the usual teenager who goes to friend's house and just hangs out. not at all. i'm home 24/7 thinking and trying to help out the family. my sister's family and my own(mom and dad family). i feel like never going back to her and helping her out because she's never grateful and she doesn't even see that i'm helping her.
long story short...how does someone like myself try to balance between my family and my ISLAMIC education(e.g. reading the Quran)? it seems as though what i do is never going to be enough for her. i'm sick of feeling this way and her getting angry at me everytime i have something i need to do.
Asalamu alaykum wrwb.

 

[ahmed_indian]

:salam2:,

may Allah reward you for the help and care you are giving to your family members.

i'll advice you to talk to your parents about this. tell them straight forward that you too have your own life. you are just a teenager and have school-load.

talk to your sister as well that you cant bear all this work-load. u need time for Allah and then for your parents and studies.

and finally, tell your sis to talk to her hubby about this. that he has some responsibility towards his family also.

but pls make sure tht everything is soft-spoken and polite. bcoz i know tht nobody will see ur point but only the hard words.

 

[halah]

:salam2:

May Allah reward you for your keenness of being helpful to your family,but you don't have to burden yourself with what you cann't afford and as Salma alFarsi said to Abu Dardaa( may Alla be pleased with them both)

"Your Lord has a right on you, your soul has a right on you, and your family has a right on you; so you should give the rights of all those who has a right on you." Abu Ad-Darda' came to the Prophet and narrated the whole story. The Prophet said, "Salman has spoken the truth."

So with good organizing to your time and by the help of Allah you can fulfil all the rights on you inshaa'allah.

As your sister is not grateful,don't make it a big deal , we try to please Allah first and we expect the reward from Him and as my mother(may Allah have mercy on her) used to say we deal with Allah not with people.

Inshaa'Allah you'll be rewarded with the best in this life and in the hearafter.

 

[Idris16]

:salam2:
Talk with your sister I am sure it's not that difficult. If it would be your parents then I would understand that. So talk with your sister and tell her that you have your deen and school as your first priority. You can also talk with your mum about this. Tried to help!

 

[thariq2005]

As salamu alaikkum wa rahmathullahi wa barakathuhu. May Allah reward you and bless you for your efforts, ameen. Sister I think you need to understand one ting, you must know that for helping out your family members you will be greatly rewarded inshallah. But I think its intention what matters really. If you are helping out so that your sister is grateful to you then I suggest you try to work on your intentions, and try to help out so that you may please the Lord of the heavens and the earth, and in that lies a lot of a reward, inshallah. You know problem with us is that there are some who spend too much time with family and nothing else, and there are some who spend too much time on deen and not at all with family. We must be in the middle path. You can always look after her children (and remember in islam the aunty is like a mother to the children) and then after some time come home and do your islamic stuff, or education or what not. Do not care what people will say about you. Tell your sister that you will have to leave because you got work to do (in a nice way), and never care if she is grateful to you or not, with Allah will she be paid her wages in full inshallah. Also try to read the Quran after fajr, and this is the best time from the Quran and hadith, try your best to read Quran everyday, even if that be one single page.

Inshallah I will leave you with that, and May Allah make it easy for you, ameen.