:salam2: Carpy,
MashaAllah nice to hear that your doing well in terms of you prayes and learning on your path in Islam, May Allah subhana wa ta'ala make this easy for you and increase you in knowledge and good deeds, ameen.
I feel the brothers and sisters who have answered your post have given you some good things to think about. However I just want to point out two things;
1. One of the advice that i have seen being given to brother or sisters who fall into the trap of having a relationship outside marriage is to hurry to "marry" the one they are commiting sin with. I don't see how this is a solution. What about repentance and moving on in life from that sin and cutting all ties with the person? One of the condiions for repentance is to give the sin up completely. If there is sincere repentance from both parties then mabye it is worth considering whether you would want to make this girl/guy your wife/husband and the mother/father of your muslim children. Does this sister have the qualities you should be looking for in a spouse...do you ?
I know sisters who got married to their muslim boyfriends, learnt about Islam and further down the line regret being married to these men. It make them think back about why their husband's didn't choose to follow Islam but instead to commit fornication and many times they surpass their husband's in terms of the deen and don't see themselves as compatible with them any longer.
Also you need to think about the attachment you have for her. Why are you so attached to her? You really need to step back and realise that whatever you feel for this girl, it's never worth anything and you're loosing way too much.
2. Born versus revert? I see this in alot of posts aswell. I don't get it. Why is it always that we need to split up into born and revert muslims? I think someone made a comment about staying away from these type of born muslims. What? What does it matter whether it's a sister who was born into a muslim family or whether it is a new sister to Islam. Yes, they found Islam under different circumstances but everyone comes to a point in their life where they choose whether to practise the deen or not. You're a muslim because you choose to be. I have seen bad things from both type of sisters and at the same time seen excellent born and revert sisters. So can we all please stop pointing out whether it is a born or revert sister/brother if it's not relevant to the question or discussion. It's useless and we don't know what is in the in the hearts of people, only Allah knows.
SubhanAllah once I tried to join a sisters forum for new sister from Sweden. I had just started practising Islam and learning on my own and although I had the muslim background everything seemed so new to me. So I explained about why I wanted to join and my request was rejected by the head sisters because I was a "born" muslim. I've never felt so excluded in my life, not just by anyone but by sisters, and I felt so upset by it. My best friend is a reverts swedish muslimah, she dislikes being labelled a revert. She says she's just a muslim just like me. And yes, i don't see her differently at all nor does she view me differently. We were just guided b Allah in different ways.
Ok, so just had to rant about te reverts vs born muslims issues. Let's drop it.
Carpy I really feel you should think about the implications of what you're doing. You need to leave this sin and leave it quick. You can do it inshaALlah and repent.
Tak care,
Sister Amirah
