Brother Issues!! (Youth & Mixing)

[Muslim18]

:salam2:

Hope you all are in the best of Imaan and health inshallah

Let me get straight to the point i have a big issue with talking to my little brother about mixing with the other gender he is younger than me and i try to advise him that it is not appropriate to talk to girls and to mix with them.

He sees the girls at school and mixes freely with them (he likes one in particular) and he also at home speaks online with them how can i tell him its wrong every time i tell him he says "its my choice" or "ok heres your talks again" its like hes deaf to my voice....

And these little girls aren't helping the situation arhhhh i hate them!!!! today he came home smelling of perfume and he said he got ambushed by the girls with makeup as well IT MAKES ME VERY MAD that he doesn't stand up for his beliefs it like hes embarrassed to be a Muslim and he shouldn't subhanallah Girls are the biggest fitnah for boys :shymuslima1: please make dua he sees the truth inshallah

How do you brother deal with it? i will look forward to your advice inshallah
Jazkallahu khair

 

[Idris16]

Deal with it? Allah Knows Best.
It can happen some fitnah in my school
but boys are usually with themselves and girls with themselves in my school.
I have two little brothers and I am thinking abt how their lives will be in the future when i wont be there for them insh'Allah.

If my brother makes fitna in school and other places then i would give him several slaps.

i know that im not helping but thats how i am giving other slaps if they cause problems
wa salam alaykum

 

[Muslim18]

:salam2:

Jaza kallahu khair brother for the pointers lol slapping i feel like slapping the girls but inshallah i need to talk to him about why it is not good for muslims to mix with girls full stop.

thanks for the help

 

[jamilah rumias]

Assalam alaikom warahmatul Allah wabarakatu

May allah show the right path to your brother.
You don't need to be hard with him when it comes to discipline him.you need to remind him,the AKHIRA,and give him advice or else send him text in his cellphone verse from Qur'an and hadith of prophet (peace be upon him).because the more you become hard to him the more he become mre aggresive.And don't forget to make Du'a,specially in your sujud,and during the salatul tahajjud.May Allah show the right path to the ummatul Muslimin,Ameen.
ALLAH JAZAKAL ALLAH KHAIRAN

 

[a_muslimah86]

:salam2:

Maybe you should start the topic of mixing with the other gender in front of the whole family..just casually...and ask your parents for input or sort of coax them into giving one ..I am sure they will object to it and speak firmly about its negatives..even if they did not give the Islamic perspective (which would be A PLUS!)..then perhaps your brother will respect your parents' point of view and fear upsetting them..and reduce or completely stop interacting with females!

Try that..maybe it will work..other than that..you can just keep talking to him gently and persistently..I am sure one day he will listen to you with understanding..and do not forget about making dua'a for him

 

[alhamdullilah]

I don't know if you live in america, but i remember when i was in kindergarten, it was a more innocent time back then. But even back then when we thought girls had "cooties" and the girls thought the boys had cooties, they would force us to mix by assigning seats in the cafeteria and during class/activities. So this is a culture that encourages and tries its best to promotes inappropriateness starting at an early age. And it doesn't make it any better now with the t.v and everything showing young boys that the one with the most girlfriends is the best and most popular amongst them (back then we just watched power rangers, but now they watch mtv).

The best solution i can think of involves the whole family, and thats shutting off the t.v, and limiting internet usage. My mother used to put the whole t.v in a locked chest (we actually picked the lock a couple times, but most of the time you just get too lazy), and the only time we'd watch t.v is when the whole family was together and she'd watch it with us (we used to watch x-files, 20/20 and such, allotted time was about 4hrs a week, i know harsh).

Drastic measures for drastic brainwashing.

 

[Idris16]

As Salam Alaykum
Give ur brother advice if that doesnt work
tell ur parents.. that's all i would tell my dad directly....

Allah will surely guide your brother. I have many cousins and they are on the wrong path, two brothers (my cousins) would use sth to make their hair softer, one started smoking and the other one did smoke sometimes but dont usually do that. One told me to make my hair softer i told them 'I won't'. my cousin would steal 2 litre coca cola but told him not to.
And still they will insh'Allah be guided. I only blame their dads as they themselves smoke. Note that their dads are not my parents siblings, my parents brothers whom are dads now have it fine. But let's make du'a
Wa Salam Alaykum

 

[Muslim18]

May allah show the right path to your brother.
You don't need to be hard with him when it comes to discipline him.you need to remind him,the AKHIRA,and give him advice or else send him text in his cellphone verse from Qur'an and hadith of prophet (peace be upon him).because the more you become hard to him the more he become mre aggresive.And don't forget to make Du'a,specially in your sujud,and during the salatul tahajjud.May Allah show the right path to the ummatul Muslimin,Ameen.
ALLAH JAZAKAL ALLAH KHAIRAN

Asalamu alaykum

Jaza kallahu khair i think iam too hard on them i guess i need to ease up inshallah i will continue to make dua for him...

 

[Muslim18]

:salam2:

Maybe you should start the topic of mixing with the other gender in front of the whole family..just casually...and ask your parents for input or sort of coax them into giving one ..I am sure they will object to it and speak firmly about its negatives..even if they did not give the Islamic perspective (which would be A PLUS!)..then perhaps your brother will respect your parents' point of view and fear upsetting them..and reduce or completely stop interacting with females!

Try that..maybe it will work..other than that..you can just keep talking to him gently and persistently..I am sure one day he will listen to you with understanding..and do not forget about making dua'a for him

:salam2:

I have done a mini talk with them about this just for my brother and cousins but he didnt listen he was just playing around i think he needs a one on one chat inshallah thanks for the advice sis

I just hate that its such a big trail for them but thats how they will learn i guess iam over protecting him lol

I don't know if you live in america, but i remember when i was in kindergarten, it was a more innocent time back then. But even back then when we thought girls had "cooties" and the girls thought the boys had cooties, they would force us to mix by assigning seats in the cafeteria and during class/activities. So this is a culture that encourages and tries its best to promotes inappropriateness starting at an early age. And it doesn't make it any better now with the t.v and everything showing young boys that the one with the most girlfriends is the best and most popular amongst them (back then we just watched power rangers, but now they watch mtv).

The best solution i can think of involves the whole family, and thats shutting off the t.v, and limiting internet usage. My mother used to put the whole t.v in a locked chest (we actually picked the lock a couple times, but most of the time you just get too lazy), and the only time we'd watch t.v is when the whole family was together and she'd watch it with us (we used to watch x-files, 20/20 and such, allotted time was about 4hrs a week, i know harsh).

Drastic measures for drastic brainwashing.

:salam2:

I know TV is a big issue in our house and games but i try and limit it from them i have a site blocker that blocks the gaming sites etc thanks for the advice

As Salam Alaykum
Give ur brother advice if that doesnt work
tell ur parents.. that's all i would tell my dad directly....

Allah will surely guide your brother. I have many cousins and they are on the wrong path, two brothers (my cousins) would use sth to make their hair softer, one started smoking and the other one did smoke sometimes but dont usually do that. One told me to make my hair softer i told them 'I won't'. my cousin would steal 2 litre coca cola but told him not to.
And still they will insh'Allah be guided. I only blame their dads as they themselves smoke. Note that their dads are not my parents siblings, my parents brothers whom are dads now have it fine. But let's make du'a
Wa Salam Alaykum

:salam2:

Ameen inshallh i will make dua for all the muslims the state we are in is our fault May Allah correct us all Ameen :tti_sister:

 

[Yousef83]

wa aleikom salam
biggest problem on young age Muslims is friends around.He probably emulate someone around of him,who guides him about girls,under 20 boys can't done anything by himself,follow him and his friends,you will find easly who guide him then you will understand 50% of problem.This is my suggestion for now

 

[Muslim18]

wa aleikom salam
biggest problem on young age Muslims is friends around.He probably emulate someone around of him,who guides him about girls,under 20 boys can't done anything by himself,follow him and his friends,you will find easly who guide him then you will understand 50% of problem.This is my suggestion for now

:salam2:

Jaza kallahu khair brother i agree my brother is 11 turning 12 its because he started high school and he and his friends compete how many friends they can accept on msn its ridiculous wallah and they add girls to boost themselves it annoys me these girls have no respect for themselves but what can you expect from western girls May Allah help our youth ameen

i look forward to your future suggestion inshallah May ALLAH reward you all ameen

 

[FreedomFighter]

:salam2:

really you mean this ?

Girls are the biggest fitnah for boys

in my school there is the same problem. the girls are also like that. but i tell you the boys, most of them are monkeys. seriously you would feel like wacking them. they got no respect and at prayer times, when there is a curtain that seperates boys and girls, they throw each other at the curtains. yuo will be really sad to see Muslims behaving like that. also they came up to girls and talk to them. its just so normal. even my good freinds, its like no big deal yo, we're just talking. especially the boys, plain monkeys. so its not entirely the girls fault like you mention, boys are like that also. but ya, girls can get annoying.

 

[afgsk8er]

being harsh will not help, depending how old he is it will take him time to realize what he is doing and what he needs to do. I say the best way to keep him away from this is to spend more time with him yourself. weather it be playing sports, watching tv, video games, praying, teaching him quran if he cannot read it yet.

you just have to get him to realize there is more to life then girls.

for now that is all the advice i can give you, wish you luck, may Allah help you with this struggle.

 

[Muslim18]

:salam2:

Jaza kallahu khair for all the help and advice I think the soft approach is working alhamdulilah i will keep trying for my lil brother i feel like i am raising him but i love him and want the best for all my brothers against this fitnah they face, i feel that distracting him from it all helps he seems more interested in finding more about islam and he loves to read about the sahaba and hadiths of the prophet, its nicer now i feel i have a brother alhamdulilah i give him homework like look up the life of i find it helps if anyone has this problem i would recommend this

Thanks again and keep on the duas for the ummah inshallah