Eating Together Or From The Same Plate??

Ibn Uthaymin

Junior member
Assalam Alaikum:

"it is obligatory to hate them and shun them". My Mum(55) and Dad(58) are most precious asset for me. The time when I need to pay their debts,I should shun them. Unbearable to even listen and impossible to implement. May Sister Isra be convinced I won't be at all convinced.

Regards.

Walykum assalam

Hopefully, this will help.

"The Muslim is taught by his book, the Qur’ân, to hate falsehood, distorted beliefs, and deviance, and consequently, to hate the representation of falsehood and deviant beliefs at the hands of the unbelievers. He does not, however, hate the people themselves. In fact, he should wish for them every possible good and hope that they will attain guidance and be saved from the Hellfire. When one of the unbelievers attains guidance, the Muslim should be as joyous for his sake as our Prophet (peace be upon him) was when a Jewish boy converted to Islam just before he died. The Prophet (peace be upon him) left his home saying: “All praises are for Allah who saved him from the Hellfire.” The hatred one should have is for their deviance or sinful behavior, not for the people themselves. This is why a Muslim cannot be blamed for his affection towards his son, wife, and others, even if they are not Muslims. However, such affection should not cause him to neglect any part of his religion. That is why the Muslims who, on account of their wives and children, failed to emigrate to Madinah as they were commanded were rebuked for staying behind. Indeed, Allah describes our wives and children as a trial. In fact, the ones who encourage hatred are certain Western and other non-Muslim politicians and media personalities who seem to be doing everything in their power to instigate conflicts against Muslims in various parts of the world. By their practices, they seem to be trying to give the Muslims lessons in hatred and rancor. If there are some moderate and reasonable voices in the West and in places like India, they are being drowned out by the overwhelming clamor of extremism and anti-Islamic rhetoric. Admittedly, the same thing can be said for the Muslims as well. However, I must stress that the West is suffocating the moderate and temperate voices in the Muslim world who are on the correct Islamic methodology, the methodology that is the way of salvation for the Muslim nation. "

- Shaykh Salman Al Awdaa

Muslim men can marry Jewish and Christian women. If we were supposed to hate unbelievers, how would love flourish and why would such marriages be acceptable?
 

Aapa

Mirajmom
Assalaam walaikum,

The word used was friend.

Muslim women are sisters in faith to each other. We are sisters.

We can befriend women who profess other faiths, to a degree. Friends can trust us as we can not lie. However, as we choose to practice our faith and be eager and earnest in prayer we spend more time with our sisters to help each other to enjoin right.

Our friendships with other females slowly diminish...it is not a matter of hate or dislike but we are attracted to sisters...for example when sisters meet at the masjid for various reasons and we giggle, cook, eat, talk..make salat..giggle , cook eat and talk some more..read Quran...it just makes for wanting to be in the company of Believers.
 

Salam2You

Lil' Muslimah
Salam

It's all idle talk when I'm around kaffirs, if they're interested in Islam my arms are widely open. It's not to hate kaffirs, but to avoid the influence.
Remember... Hate is a strong word.
 

mezeren

Junior Member
another fatva

:salam2:

Brothers and sisters below is a fatva regarding relations with non-muslims.i hope it helps.

http://www.islamandquran.org/fatwas/relations-with-nonmuslims.html

RELATIONS WITH NON-MUSLIMS
Jan 25, 2011



It is vital to know the basis of relations with non-Muslims instructed in the Qur’an and Sunnah due to actions of anti-Islamists.

Here are the verses and hadiths that explain how Muslims should behave upon the aggression against Islam:

Verses draw the three critical lines:

1. Battling against Muslims due to their religion
2. Driving Muslims out of their homes
3. Supporting the ones driving Muslims out

We cannot make friends with or exhibit sympathy to the ones that cross these lines.

“Allah forbids you not, showing kindness and love to those who have not fought against you on account of your religion, and who have not driven you forth from your homes. Allah loves those who are equitable. Allah only forbids that you make friends of the ones who have fought against you on account of your religion, who have driven you out of your homes, and have helped others in driving you out, and whosoever makes friends of them — it is these that are the transgressors.“ (Al-Mumtahanah/The Examined One 60/8–9)

Muslims battled against and overcame the Meccans who had attacked them at Badr, Uhud and Khandaq. In the sixth year of Hijrat -Migration to Madinah-, Muslims and Meccans had made a treaty of ten years at Hudaibiya. However, Meccans have abrogated the treaty. Mecca was conquered in the eighth year of Hijrat by the army of our Prophet (s.a.w.) but the war criminal Meccans who abrogated the treaty, were not disturbed for fifteen months.[1] Those Meccans were warned strictly by the following verses revealed in the ninth year of Hijrat:

“This is a declaration of last admonition from Allah and His Messenger to the polytheists (mushrikun) with whom you had made a treaty:

So travel freely, throughout the land [during] four months but know that you cannot cause failure to Allah and that Allah will disgrace the disbelievers.

And an announcement from Allah and His Messenger to the people on the day of the Great Pilgrimage that Allah is disassociated from the disbelievers, and so is His Messenger. So if you repent, that is best for you; but if you turn away – then know that you will not cause failure to Allah . And give tidings to those who disbelieve of a painful punishment.

Excepted are those with whom you made a treaty among the polytheists and then they have not been deficient toward you in anything nor supported anyone against you; so complete for them their treaty until their term [has ended]. Indeed, Allah loves the ones who protect themselves.


And when the forbidden months have passed [2], then kill those polytheists wherever you find them and capture them and besiege them and sit and wait for them at every place of ambush. But should they repent, establish prayer, and give zakah, then let them [go] on their way. Indeed, Allah is Forgiving and Merciful.” (At-Tawba/Repentance 9/1-5)


The judgement in these verses relates merely to the war criminal polytheists (mushrikun), who had not only crossed the three critical lines but also had caused war by abrogating the treaty. It does not include other non-Muslims. Although there may be other arguments emerged due to political pressure, they are not acceptable when investigated in the light of Qur’an and Sunnah.

CONVERTING FROM ISLAM / APOSTASY – Irtidad, Murtad-

The Glorified Allah commands as follows for the apostates -ones who abandon Islam and become infidels (kafir)-:

“O you who believe! Whoso among you turns back from his religion, then let it be known that in his stead Allah will soon bring a peopile whom He will love and who will love Him, and who will be kind and humble towards believers, hard and firm against disbelievers. They will strive in the cause of Allah and will not fear the reproach of a faultfinder. That is Allah’s grace; He bestows it upon whosoever deserves it; and Allah is Bountiful, All- Knowing.” (Al-Maeda/ The Feast 5/54)

Narrated by Muqatil B. Sulaiman (d:150/767) that twelve people had converted from Islam to become infidels (kafir) and had set out on their way from Medinah to Mecca with their minds complicated and arrived in Mecca. One of them, Harith B. Suwayd, later regretted what he did and changed his mind by sending a letter to his brother Julas: “I have repented and converted back to Islam. Ask the Messenger of Allah if I have the right to repent, or I will go to Damascus.” Julas informed our Prophet of the situation, but could not get an answer. The following verses have been revealed afterwards:[3]

“How shall Allah guide a people who have disbelieved after believing and who had borne witness that the Messenger was true when clear proofs had come to them? [4] And Allah guides not the wrongdoing people.

Those – their recompense will be that upon them is the curse of Allah and the angels and the people, all together. Abiding eternally therein. The punishment will not be lightened for them, nor shall they be reprieved. Except those who repent thereafter and amend. And surely, Allah is Most Forgiving and Merciful.” (Al-e-Imran/ The House of Imran 3/86-89)


There is no punishment people will impose on apostates. Their punishment is the curse of Allah, angels and the people. Should any of them repent, it deprives those people of curse. Although this is the clear judgement about apostates, madhabs have consensus on the idea that they should be killed. The cause of this result, should be political pressure.

AGGRESSION AGAINST ISLAM

The core of religion is belief where basis of belief is confirmation of heart. Confirmation of heart is known by the person himself/herself and by Allah only. Inside the heart is where freedom is endless. Therefore, nobody can be forced either to accept or to refuse any belief. The Glorified Allah commands:

“Let there be no compulsion in religion: Surely right stands out clear from wrong. Whosoever refuses to be led by those transgressors and believes in Allah, has surely grasped a strong handle which knows no breaking. And Allah is All-Hearing, All-Knowing.” (Al-Baqara/ The Cow 2/256)

People may consent or refuse to believe in a religion. Whoever chooses the wrong one, bears the consequences. To reveal the truth, discussions or even arguments must be made. Such arguments are not in the scope of criminal law. Their consequences should be faced. The Glorified Allah commands:

“You will surely be tested in your possessions and in yourselves. And you will surely hear from those who were given the Scripture before you and from those who associate others with Allah much abuse. But if you are patient and guard yourselves – indeed, that is of the matters of determination.” (Al-e Imran/The House of Imran 3/186)

Since abuse and insult are not marked by the three lines mentioned in the eighth and ninth verses of Surah Al-Mumtahanah , Muslims should be patient, cautious and determined in these cases.

VERBAL RESPONSE TO VERBAL ATTACK

The Messenger of Allah and Muslims used to be abused verbally very often. Especially attacks of poets were rather effective. Our Prophet used to respond to them with the poems of Muslim poets, such as Hassan b. Sabit, Kab b. Malik, Abdullah b. Revaha. The Messenger of Allah had prayed for Hassan b. Sabit, who was in service of Islam with his poems, to Allah: “Oh my Glorified Allah, support him with the Holy Spirit!”

Apparently, the only response to verbal attacks should be verbal.

RELATIONS WITH HYPOCRITES

The Messenger of Allah has suffered much from the hypocrites who converted to Islam and then returned; but he did not punish them in any ways. The Surah Al-Munafiqun is important from this aspect. The Glorified Allah commands:

“When those hypocrites came to you, they said ‘We bear witness that you are indeed the Messenger of Allah.’ And Allah knows that you are indeed His Messenger, but Allah bears witness that those hypocrites are surely liars. They have made their oaths a shield and withdrawn from the Path of Allah. Truly evil are their deeds! That is because they first believed, then covered up their belief. Then a new structure formed in their heart, so that they no longer understand. When you look at them, the forms of their bodies please you; and when they speak, you listen to their words. They are as pieces of timber propped up. They think that every cry is against them. They are the enemies; so beware of them. May Allah destroy them! How are they mislead to lie!

And when it is said to them, ‘Come, that the Messenger of Allah may ask forgiveness for you,’ they turn their heads aside, and you see them keeping back while they are full of pride. It is equal, whether you ask forgiveness for them or not. Allah will never forgive them. Surely Allah guides not the mischief makers.

They it is who said, ‘Spend not on those who are with the Messenger of Allah that they may disperse and leave him;’ while to Allah belong the treasures of the heavens and the earth; but those hypocrites understand not. They also said, ‘When we return to Medinah, the one most powerful will surely drive out therefrom the one weakest;’ while true power belongs to Allah and to His Messenger and the believers; but the hypocrites know not.” (Al-Munafiqun/ The Hypocrites 63/1-8)


Zeyd b. Erkam told the following about these verses: “We were on a battle with the Messenger of Allah. The army was suffering. Abdullah b. Ubeyy said to his friends: ‘Spend not on those who are with the Messenger of Allah that they may disperse and leave him. When we return to Medinah, the one most powerful will surely drive out therefrom the one weakest.’. I reported this to the Messenger of Allah immediately. He called and questioned Abdullah b. Ubeyy, who swore that he had not said it. They ascribed lie to me which was so heavy. Then, Allah revealed the Surah Al-Munafiqun.” [5]

Elmalili Muhammed Hamdi Yazir gives information on this subject that can be summarized as:

“Abdulah was respected in his tribe; he was from the old ones. Useyd b. Hudayr came and said: ‘Oh the Messenger of Allah, do not mind him, be kind to him. I swear that his tribe was beading for his coronation when Allah sent you. He sees as if You have deprived him of his kingship.’ ”

Abdullah, the son of Abdullah b. Ubeyy was a pure believer. When he learned what his father had done, he came near the Messenger of Allah and said: “Oh the Messenger of Allah, I heard that You would like to have my father dead due to his words that reached you. If You will, just order me and I will bring it to you. I swear, the whole Hazrec people know that there is no other more respectful to his father than I am. I am afraid that you order somebody else and he murders my father, then I cannot bear to see him wandering in public and kill him. Then I will have killed a believer for a hypocrite and stay in hell forever.”

The Messenger of Allah replied:

“No, we will treat him kindly as long as he is amongst us.” [6]

Although Abdullah’s behaviour is utterly evil, our Prophet had behaved him gently since his behaviour did not cross the three critical lines mentioned in the verses. Such people are disturbed by the facts. Behaving them kindly inspite of the consensus that they are in the wrong way, causes them to lead to loneliness. Even their supporters leave them. Thus the gentle behaviour of our Prophet had caused the people around Abdullah to choose Islam.

THE PUNISHMENT OF ABUSING THE PROPHET

Allah will punish the ones who abuse or attack the Prophet. The Glorified Allah commands:

“And certainly were messengers denied before you, but they were patient over [the effects of] denial and persecution until, until Our aid did reach them. And none can alter the words of Allah . And there has certainly come to you some information about those messengers.” (Al-An’am/ Livestock 6/34)

“Indeed, those who abuse Allah and His Messenger – Allah has cursed them in this world and the Hereafter and prepared for them a humiliating punishment.” (Al-Ahzab/ The Allies 33/57)


Prof. Dr. Abdulaziz BAYINDIR
İ.Ü. Faculty of Divinity Professor
Süleymaniye Foundation – Religion and Creation’s Dispositions Centre President

[1]. Muhammed Hamidulah, Islam Peygamberi, Ankara 2003, vol. II, p. 271, paragraph 451.
[2]. The warning above was made at Dhul Hijjah, the last of the forbidden months. The forbidden months here, are not known forbidden (haram) months (Al-Ash-hur-ul-Hurum) but four months specified in the second verse. They are called forbidden (haram) since related parties are untouchable during that period.
[3]. Tefsiru Mukatil b. Sulaiman, Tahkik: Ahmed Ferid, Beirut 1424/2002, vol. I, p. 180-181.
[4]. و جائهم البينات is supposed to be a declarative sentence
[5]. Bukhari, Tefsir, Surah Al-Munafiqun 4.
[6]. Muhammed Hamdi YAZIR, Hak Dini Kur’an Dili, vol, VI, p. 5005–5008.
 

Al-bint

Smile! It's Sunnah!
Salaam alaikum,
thank you all for your replies. I am obliged!
InshaAllah it will b very helpful...

As for brother sachin4islam,
u need to love ur parents despite the difference in faith. Dont take what the brothers and sisters have shared otherwise... What they said was meant for our good... For a better hereafter...
 

hayat84

I'm not what you believe
:salam2:
sister Al-Bint,my parents are not muslims,even if my father is getting interested about Islam.I like to go to visit them and eat with them,because they are my family and I have to share with them my children.my mum loves my children,but as non-muslim I can never leave my children even for an afternoon alone with her,because as I know,it's normal for a child to make questions and in my heart I fear that she (my mum)may influence my babies with something other.I suoppse that it's normal to make friendship,above all if you live among many people.me,I don't make friendship very easily with people,but I can see with surprise that I receive the greetings of many muslim sisters who I meet by chance at the hospital or at the shop.I have nothing to do with those females who wear unconvenientely and wh may make me feel embarassed if I'm with them.It depends from the situation:by myself you can go step by step,but remember that you're muslim,so you are sincere;while non-muslims may be not always honest,when they invite you:wasalam:
 

fatma_said

Junior Member
:salam2: sister al-bint

i fully understand where you are coming from in terms of friendship, i go to uni but i made a decision not to become close friends with any non-muslims and spend my time only with my muslim sisters. This was due to that fact that it would have otherwise deeply affected by religion for then i would be shy to go out and pray whilst they would like to get coffee of whatever. It also deeply increases your imaan to be with muslims. I remember one of my friends who wears a long jilbab would always give me confidence in my deen because she was so comfortable in it, i even know of many muslim girls who got covered due to their spending so much time with their muslim friends.

wallahu a'lam
 

Al-bint

Smile! It's Sunnah!
:salam2: sister al-bint

i fully understand where you are coming from in terms of friendship, i go to uni but i made a decision not to become close friends with any non-muslims and spend my time only with my muslim sisters. This was due to that fact that it would have otherwise deeply affected by religion for then i would be shy to go out and pray whilst they would like to get coffee of whatever. It also deeply increases your imaan to be with muslims. I remember one of my friends who wears a long jilbab would always give me confidence in my deen because she was so comfortable in it, i even know of many muslim girls who got covered due to their spending so much time with their muslim friends.

wallahu a'lam

Alhamdulillah sister,
i totally agree with you... actually I try to spend my time more with people who have islamic knowledge more than I have..

jazakallah khairn
 

Ahsen

Junior Member
If we avoid being friends with non muslims how will they come closer to islam?

I am just saying you should be wise enough to know if a person deserves to be your friend or not.
 

Al-bint

Smile! It's Sunnah!
salaam alaikum to all!

If we avoid being friends with non muslims how will they come closer to islam?

I am just saying you should be wise enough to know if a person deserves to be your friend or not.

sister u r ryt but for delivering the true msg of Islam to the disbelievers we need to hav stronger faith and more knowledge so dat we r able to answer all their questions... although we still do talk about Islam many times in front of her but i always feel that either she's disinterested or else gets offended coz she cannt hav a say in this case.. i simply dont no wat to do...


Assalaam walaikum,

The word used was friend.

Muslim women are sisters in faith to each other. We are sisters.

We can befriend women who profess other faiths, to a degree. Friends can trust us as we can not lie. However, as we choose to practice our faith and be eager and earnest in prayer we spend more time with our sisters to help each other to enjoin right.

Our friendships with other females slowly diminish...it is not a matter of hate or dislike but we are attracted to sisters...for example when sisters meet at the masjid for various reasons and we giggle, cook, eat, talk..make salat..giggle , cook eat and talk some more..read Quran...it just makes for wanting to be in the company of Believers.

i agree with you dat its not about hating.... its just dat v prefer to be in the company of believers... :)

My family are non-Muslims too.

I heard a very good lecture some months ago about how we can take non-Muslims as friends, but we have to be careful because they cannot advise us on issues of faith. For example, If you have a friend and you are in a time of jihad with something..He cannot help you at all with it because he has no idea what you are going through.

I will try to find this lecture insha Allah!
They said basically Kaffir friends are okay, but have Muslim friends too that you can turn to in time of need insha Allah.

yes if u find the video plz do share...

Salam

It's all idle talk when I'm around kaffirs, if they're interested in Islam my arms are widely open. It's not to hate kaffirs, but to avoid the influence.
Remember... Hate is a strong word.
Again ryt... and i want to avoid indulging into idle talk for it will cause harm to me only...

the only thing now i cant make out is how do I distance myself from her??
May Allah guide us all... Ameen:tti_sister:
:wasalam:
 
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