:salam2:
Surprised how all of you soo didn’t welcome the idea of printing out a paper! Lol.. Well maybe it was a crazy idea went by..okay..I wont do that!! I'll try to calm down and not be nervous! and NO hard times
Inshallah! Lol sister Sophie and bro tkhan your posts made me laugh! Ahaha
Brother shaheerapak..ur right, the most important thing is doing istikhara, since everything is in Allah's hand. Ill do that tonight inshallah..I'v also noticed that most of you said "don’t ask him alot of questions" but i thought the more i ask , the more it would be better? Yes, brother abuturab the guy is religious and well known by people that hes a good guy ( my father asked the people he works with) but still i have to know his personality..he might not match me..allahu a'lam
I appreciate the corrections..Jazaku allahu khayran specially sister preporus and palastine..thankyou! thankyou!.. you've helped me alto! Thank you sister Sana for your doaa
inshallah sister muslimah16 ill try to keep you updated..haha sister aishaAnastasia..glad to know that you knew what mokhlis means ( but what is the word in English?)
More help would be welcomed
LoL sister, I was thinking that when it's my time, I should do what you said, but I was thinking to ask the questions and she'll just write the answers down on a peice of paper, LoL.
But sister, I would suggest that you do Tahajudd and make dua during the remaining third of the night (after midnight actually, or "usually," LoL), and ask Allah Ta Alla to give you a good and Pious Husband, who is Modest, Shy, and has a GREAT and BEAUTIFUL character and personality.
And also sister, I would suggest that when you talk to him, WEAR YOUR NIQAAB, LoL.
But seriously though, if he sees your face, that might attract him to you, which (in MY,
HUMBLE opinion
) is a BAD thing, because that could :
1.) Make him feel a bit embarassed or shy, since if he IS a Modest and Shy brother, he would not really want to look at you in the face while talking to you.
2.) He'll judge you mainly because of the way you look. If your face attracts him, then he'll start to judge you and like you not because of your character, modesty, and Piety (which to me (personally), are the ONLY things th at matter), but because he likes the way you look, and if a sister just practices Islam on a basic level (wears Hijab, does Salat, etc. but does not wish to exceed into becoming Pious) but the way she looks is considered (qoute qoute>) "attractive," then he'll decide that he likes her, even though he really doesn't know what's more important, and thatis being Pious, or atleast steadfast.
And not only that, on a negative level too, you could say. Let's say that he doesn't really feel attracted to your face and the such (which I know is pretty unlikely) then he'll just judge you on a negative level and even though you could be steadfast, you're not "really up to his" "expectations," but actually, it's alright here, because I know that no Muslim sister would want a selfish prat like this
But my main conern (about you, sister Muslimah) is what I've stated before (the negative part): that most "men (my AKA for them is "guys") judge girls and women by appearance, NOT character. And you also don't know if this brother could be evil in his heart or not, since you haven't seen him, right sister? And also, since this is were the "un-modest" (< my vocabulary) part comes on with the guy who wants "Four "Pious" and "Beautiful" (< qoute qoute again!) Wives."
And remember sister, judge him by his character first, but MAKE SURE you find out if he's PIOUS and STEADFAST; and even more than that, if he's OF THOSE WHO FOLLOW
ALL THE SUNNAHS OF RASULALLAH (SAW) OR WHO TRIES TO IMPLEMENT HIS LIFE TO BE LIKE THAT OF RASULALLAH (SAW)'S.
Because Wallahi sister, THAT kind of man would be a brother who is kind, gentle, soft, shy, modest, has manners, politeness, and most of all....PIETY.
And by that, I mean don't ask him if he PRACTICES ISLAM, because trust me, ALL the brothers in my Masjid do so, but WALLAHI, ALL OF THEM (but a few) ARE BROTHERS THAT HAVE
HORRIBLE CHARACTER, NO MANNERS, UN-THOUGHTFUL, AND
NOT PIOUS.
But by NOT PIOUS, I mean the ones in WHOM I've seen that aren't Pious. Like one "brother" who "practices Islam," does Salat and the such, but doesn't practice upon the Sunnah of Rasulallah (SAW) (such as maybe doing the Miswak, but doesn't even try to keep a beard, nor is he) someone who doesn't even DO Nafl Ebadah! Ebadah to get closer to Allah Ta Alla, and not only that, CRITICIZES me, but won't take my advice to read "al Adab al Mufrad, Muslim Morals and Manners (Prescribed by Rasulallah SAW) by Imam al Bukhari" (and not to mention SIMPLY because it's al Bukhari too, which he slings mud at, even though he doesn't even UNDERSTAND the science of Hadith or even the CORRECT MANHAJ of Rasulallah SAW)!
But anyway (forget the last sentences), my important thing that I wanted to say is, ANY Muslim guy is "practicing" or "religious," and why? Mainly because they (or other people) CONSIDER THEMSELVES as being a "GOOD MUSLIM" (<qoute qoute BIG time here!) just because why? Because (as the way they see it), they "practice Islam," or maybe "do the basic things;" and what ARE the basic things? Doing Salat, and etc.; while REALLY practicing Islam is WAY MORE than that (and some people actually THINK that they're "relgious," just because they are "AT HOME?!" but they don't wear a Hijab or be Modest, or they really DON'T do the basic Islamic Ettiquets like even five times Salat, but just because they UNDERSTAND that they are Muslim, but in reality, not a really good one)!
So sister, that goes to explain? That for being RELIGIOUS, it goes to CERTAIN
LEVELS. Like maybe they're considered "RELIGOUS" just because they wear a Hijab, do Salat; but they: a) are loud b) have no manners c) talk back to their mother d) rude e) have a FILTHY mouth like a little boy f) listen to music CONSTANTLY (especially them "so-called" (qoute qoute>) "Nasheeds") g) don't listen to Quran h) don't do Nafl Ebadah i) and don't even WANT to be a Muttaqeen(aj)!
Or maybe it's a guy who others CONSIDER him as being "religous," even (like before) he just does Salat and reads Quran (etc.) but: a) has a filthy mouh b) talks ill of people (especially behind their backs) c) doesn't even LIKE the Sunnah! d) doesn't choose Allah over anybody else! e) criticizing OTHER people, but not themselves f) degrades others, but not themselves g) gives Naseehah to others, but not themselves h) LOOKS at GIRLS and WOMEN on TV and doesn't even CHANGE THE CHANNEL, nor even AVERT HIS GAZE if he saw them anywhere (like on the street) i) thinls about Polygamy like CONSTANTLY, and ONLY for SELFISH BENEFITS j) thinks about Hurl Yeen ALL THE TIME k) does not have good characters that a Muslim man should have (that of which Rasulallah (SAW) had, which includes: piety, modesty, gentleness, softness, tenderness, kindness, beauty in character, etc.) L) who doesn't even DO Nafl Ebadah to get nearer to Allah Ta Alla or doesn't even CARE to be EXTREMELY Pious!
So you see sister? "MuZLims" are only "religous" to a CERTAIN LEVEL, like basic, Salat, Hijab, etc. (but not STEADFASTNESS or PIETY), basic but un acceptable (like does a few things like Salat, etc. but NOT Modest or with good character), BELOW basic (meaning doesn't even REALLY practice Islam, just KNOWS that they are "Biologically" "MuZLim," and doesn't do Salat and has a boyfriend/girlfriend, but STILL see themselves as being a "good" (<qoute! qoute!>) "MuZLim"), and there are some that are ABOVE average, like they are "still good" in "a lot" of places, but still LACK a lot of IMPORTANT THINGS at the same time.
And then there are those that are REALLY good, steadfast, practicing their deen A LOT, and EXCEEDING BEYOND THE BASICS (like pertaining in a lot of Nafl or Preferred Ebadah and deeds), and are Mashallah REALLY nice when you see their personality (like a sister who wears not only a Hijab, but wants to wear a Jilbab and a Niqab for Allah Ta Alla, or a brother who's keeping a GOOD BEARD (meaning that the beard hairs (like if you were to take hold of ONE of the hairs, not seeing from which places it STARTS to grow from) grow PAST, ATLEAST the end of the THROAT), and who FOLLOW MANY of the Sunnahs, steadfast, and who WANT to practice their Deen and REALLY be good, Alhamdulillah.
And then there are brothers and sisters who are even MORE than that; they are EXTREMELY steadfast, follow ALL of the Sunnahs of Rasulallah (SAW), and are one of those who are SO near to Allah Ta Alla and Rasulallah (SAW), to the extent that their WHOLE LIFE, is based upon Allah Ta Alla and Rasulallah (SAW), that you like FEEL THE
RADIATING LIGHT FROM THEIR EMAN (such as when you see their personality)! And THOSE are the Pious Mumins and Muminahs, and from amongst Ahl as Sunnah, Allahu Akbar!
Sp you see sister? You need to
manuever your
questions in a way that you actually can actually UNDERSTAND
EXACTLY if he's Pious or not (WE can only assume, but really, Allah Ta Alla judges, but by us assuming, it's not harmful, it only is if we start to JUDGE a person by what we see, because a wolf also disguises himself with a mask (making himself to look like "a good guy") in order to bapture it's prey), and by that, I think you should ask him:
1.) If he practices Islam (and ALSO)
2.) To what EXTENT does he practice Islam, and to describe it.
-if he's a Pious and Modest brother, chances are that he doesn't want to brag about himself, but he SHOULD basically explain if he just "Does his Salat," and "the such," or if he practices Islam to the Exntent in trying to Obey Allah Ta Alla's commandments, to please him (it could be out of his Love to Allah Ta Alla), and to base his life so that he can follow Rasullah (SAW) (sincerely from his heart, a deep LOVE for Rasulallah, or from an ADMIIRATION to Rasulallah SAW).
And also if he says the latter (of what I've posted in the paragpraph above), then you COULD ask him about how he feels when it comes towards Allah Ta Alla and Rasulallah (SAW), and if he (tries to, but not in a bragging manner) respongs by (having you to understnad) that he really LOVES Allah Ta Alla and Rasulallah (SAW), then THAT is a great brother sister.
But remember these things sister:
1.) Do Tahajudd and dua (during last third of the night)!
2.) ASK him if he not only practices Islam, but to WHAT EXTENT he practices Islam
3.) You should make sure that you ask him good questions, but not in a way that might make him feel nervous, but ask him
small, simple, and easy questions, so that he doesn't feel stupid being stuck on one thing, but at the same time, you could UNDERSTAND HIS PERSONALITY (Like don't jump into asking him if he's Pious, (brothers and sisters who are Pious don't feel good in admitting to others that they are), but ask him like what a lot of us said, if he could be someone, who would it be? what does he like to do in his spare time, hanging out with friends or whatever? (etc. because if he DOES, then he can say yes, and he won't know that you want him to say that he spends his spare time worshipping Allah; don't ask him if he worships Allah or remembers Allah in his spare time; because he doesn't want to look stupid and say no, but ask him, what he ENJOYS doing in his spare time, and you should ask him to say the most important one, or to atleast name a lot of them) and the such as I've also explained it, because if he't not good, he might try to manuever you into thinking that he's not "a bad guy," but you won't FULLY understand his personality).
3.) Wear a Niqab! (to avoid what I explained earlier)
4.) Talk to alot of the SISTERS (if you want, I could tell you a sister who knows this stuff)
5.) KEEP YOUR TRUST IN ALLAH TA ALLA
And Allah Ta Alla knows best. Phew! This took me like OVER THREE HOURS to type this! LoL (I am a bit dissapointed though that i didn't read a but of Quran, like 20 minutes, and it's Fajr in like, 5L47, which is like ten minutes!)
But still, *panting* I hope this has helped a lot of you brothers and sisters here. Wow, I've got to take a break right now!
So anyway sister,