Assalaam walaikum,
Sister...I am of an age where I can say a man looks cute. That means there is no and I repeat for you no sexual connotation. This means it is not offensive. It amuses me that everything is so sexual to many members.
That is a reference to a man that keeps himself clean. You tube is the media and people prep for the media. No-one wants to see an ugly man. So I called a spade a spade.
wa 'alaykum salaam wa rahmatullaah
I want to make this brief as again this is not what the thread is about, but since it was addressed to me, I will clearly say that nowhere in my post did I refer to or imply that my reaction was in any way due to an issue of the comment being 'sexual'. It saddens me that it was infered that way. I was just surprised that it was a point being brought up in a more serious question about a brother and his situation.
I do however take offence at the classifications of 'ugly'. Wallaah and I will state this for all of the members here, that a man who loves the Sunnah and out of this desire grows his beard is more beloved to me, and more beautiful to me than the one whose desire is to remain 'clean' and 'tidy' by western standards, even if the former is classed as less 'neat' by the people. I agree that being unkept is against what Islaam teaches, but I will never inshaAllaah put a condition that "cute" or "ugly" depends on the size or neatness of ones beard.
And I don't care if he's the
ugliest man on earth, if he has correct and sound knowledge then this precedes him and adorns him in beauty, and I would by ALL means
Love to see him.
ALSO as a second side point, accidental food, or as you put it, 'dinner' on a beard is not gross. It's often cute and funny at meal times, but gross is furthest from my mind. And as a fyi ... just because a man has a longer beard, doesn't mean he doesnt keep it neat, doesn't mean food always falls on it, doesn't mean he doesn't look in a mirror before going out or meeting clients, doesn't mean mold starts growing in it due to the contineous built up of food falling on it and being left there... etc. Trust me, I grew up with it and my father probably takes more care of his beard than I do the hair on my head!
If your would consider applying sunnah (or may be even fard) of husni dhann about Aapa, your attention would be automatically drawn towards the given flexibility in Islamic injunctions, depending on the difficulties....
I honestly don't see where I have thought ill of her or her words? I spoke not out of spite or malice, and did not have even in my mind to think wrong of her so please give me the same considerations that you place on others. My only intention was to ask where this statement or understanding came from. For if we advise others on here, our words and opinions should be according to Islaam, so surely this has a foundation somewhere in Islaam?
And if you too had extended that thought to the rest of my post you would see I did acknowledge the existance of situations of leniency:
The point is, being a Muslim is a state of being, which I've not seen being conditional to a place or a time. We are at the same state of Islaam in every place. Some places it's easier, and some harder. Yes understandably there may be concessions based on instance or trouble or a requirement, but that doesn't mean it extends to just living in a non-Muslim environment!
But even the examples you stated dear brother were not because they were living in a non-Muslim country, but because the situation prompted it. And akhi, is our duty not also to encourage and enjoin righteousness? So how would we do that if each person had their own level of laxity and implementation in non-Muslim countries?
Allaah knows best, I don't wish to over-step my bounds so that's all I will say. Yes I will freely admit I don't agree with some opinions, but that doesn't mean I have thought badly of anyone, and if they feel I have then I do ask their pardon.
Thank you all. I have learned a lot from this thread. (Minus the ruckus). I went to orientation and I didn't get to speak with the HR rep one on one, but there was NO mention of my beard.
May Allaah bless you akhi, life is truly all about learning, whether it be on this forum or otherwise, and I truly hope that you bring benefit from this and yes avoid the 'ruckus' .... I do apologize for my share of it.
As a question, in this case is no mention a good thing or a bad thing? Supposing it's a good thing, then alhamdulillaah! If not, then do see if you can get a chance to see if you can speak to the HR rep? Put your best foot forward and explain your situation if you can, keeping your trust in Allaah and definitely pray salaatul Istikhaarah if you haven't. And after reading perhaps different opinions, and speaking to a scholar or knowledgable person if you can, take the stance of the one whom you trust or your heart feels the most content with. After all, you will only be accountable for yourself, and you know your situation the best.
I pray you get a job that will be good and beneficial for you, and remember that no matter where you are or what stance the people may take, you are a Muslim and you represent Islaam. I admire and truly look up to all my brothers (and sisters!) who strive in their Deen while traveling through this Dunya.
wasalaamu 'alaykum