Social Politics... ugh!

[HappyMuslimah]

:salam2:

As the title suggests, I am fed up of silly women/girls playing immature social games. The situation is this: I am acquainted with a girl who is a mirza/ummaydth (i.e. someone who believes that the Final Prophet (PBUH) is not, er, the final prophet). We talk, but it’s uncomfortable and we don't really gel together as friends through no fault of either of us.

A few weeks ago, we were sitting with another friend. The girl in question commented that she was hungry. Then a few minutes later, she stated 'I don't mean to be mean but will you go get me a sandwich?' I replied 'I'm sorry, I’m feeling tired today, otherwise I would have gone for you’. The truth is, I was not tired. I thought she was on a power trip and I certainly was not going to roll over and do what she said for the sake of it. The caff was ten minutes away, it was raining, and she had not mentioned for what reason she wanted me, in particular, to get her sandwich for her – the other girl was her best friend whilst I am a near stranger!

She has now taken offence and is gossiping/backbiting about me. Should I apologise? My friends say that I should have just gotten it for her. I tried not to offend her by saying I was tired, bit she seemed to ask me to go simply because she thought I was the ‘weak link’.

What should I do? I’ve tried to be patient.

P.S. Just realized the girl’s sect is irrelevant. Please ignore. *!*!*!

P.P.S. Men – I am particularly interested in what you have to say, us girls tend to ‘feel’ things too much, i.e. we may be extra-sensitive

P.P.P.S. If anyone has similar experiences, please feel free to post

 

[AlQurtubi]

Well, try to avoid that girl. Its prohibited to make Qadyani friends. Since sshe has started backbiting for a little thing, she might not be suitable as your friend.

 

[HappyMuslimah]

Its prohibited to make Qadyani friends. .

Is it? can you please provide evidence for this? I thought we, as Muslims, arent supposed to divide ourselves into sects?

 

[al-fajr]

Is it? can you please provide evidence for this? I thought we, as Muslims, arent supposed to divide ourselves into sects?

Qadiyani people are not muslim because they as you quite rightly stated, dont subscribe to the testimony of faith in accepting that Muhammad is the last and final messenger.

This isnt a question of muslims diving each other into sects, its recognising kufr for what it is.

:salam2:

 

[a_muslimah86]

:salam2:

Unless she's HORRIBLY sick..or she's waaaaayyyyy older (which she obviously is not)...she cannot ask you to go get something for her...ESPECIALLY if you're not a close friend...

I mean what's next???

*Carry my books?* or *get down on your knees and polish my shoes???*

I'm sorry if I'm sounding harsh..but I really cannot stand people of the sort you described..there's a thing called *manners* which we need to exhibit towards others!..and she obviously needs an introduction session (or two!) to it!

Sister...

In your mind...there's a mental list titled *ignore*...locate it...put that girl on it..add an X next to her name..and MOVE ON...the only thing I would say to that girl ever again is returning a salam she gave to me..because it is the greeting of Allah..and I do want the ajer for it!...other than that...her position on that *mental ignore list* will be a total *permanency!*

People like that tick me off...especially when they walk around thinking they're the ones who are *right*..and go all middle-school on you...gossiping..backbiting..and everything!

You're better than *anybody* bossing you!..or going on a power-trip like you said in your presence!

Forget all about her..and pardon my honesty

 

[FreedomFighter]

:salam2:

you said you two arent close, and at that time her bestfriend was with her. could there be a possibility that she asked you to get a sandwich for her so she could be with her bestfriend? maybe you know, some are like that.

stay away from her if you think its right, i mean, why still be 'friends' and especially she asked you to go get her something when you are not close freinds.

P.P.S. Men – I am particularly interested in what you have to say, us girls tend to ‘feel’ things too much, i.e. we may be extra-sensitive

not true all the time. i think girls can help you better here, coz they may understand better.

 

[rahmani]

Qadiyani people are not muslim because they as you quite rightly stated, dont subscribe to the testimony of faith in accepting that Muhammad is the last and final messenger.

This isnt a question of muslims diving each other into sects, its recognising kufr for what it is.

:salam2:

Brother Al-Fajr is right to call a None Muslim a None Muslim is not dividing Muslims or suppose if some one is involved in Shirk or Bidaat and telling him that such and such person is involved in Shirk or Bidaat is not dividing the community rather this is action to make other persons aware of his (Sherr or Fitna), thank you brother Al-Fajr for your comment, I fully endorse your comment.

 

[mhamzah]

There is a consenus amongst the scholars that Qadyani's (Ahmadiyis) are Non-Muslims. However that does not mean you cannot take them as friends. Often a verse from the Quran is cited saying, Muslims cannot take Jews and Christians as friends, however the word used is 'Awliyā'a , which also means protector, helpers, allies.

Yusuf Ali: O ye who believe! take not the Jews and the Christians for your friends and protectors: They are but friends and protectors to each other. And he amongst you that turns to them (for friendship) is of them. Verily Allah guideth not a people unjust.

However in the context of this verse, better translation is allies, as one translated by Sahih International. Infact in his later translation, Yusuf Ali, uses only the word protector.

Sahih International: O you who have believed, do not take the Jews and the Christians as allies. They are [in fact] allies of one another. And whoever is an ally to them among you - then indeed, he is [one] of them. Indeed, Allah guides not the wrongdoing people.


Since there is no restriction on taking Jews and Christains as friends that are not hostile to Muslims, same should be the case with Qadians. Pointing out to them, that they are on error is a sepetare case.

These conclude my thoughts on this matter.

May Allah guide us closer to the truth.

 

[wannabe_muttaqi]

ASAK

ASAK,

One benefit of doubt can be given to that girl that , may be she wanted to stay with her good friend for a while.

Otherwise I would like to say that you have to stand-up for your rights. If you are on Haqq then ALLAH SWT is on your side. be firm in your attitude.

Forgive her but do not forget the incident and don't be naive next time the same thing happens.

I think the best way which many of us lack is communication. I think if something of this sort happens you have to ask her why me? or whats wrong with you? . Just to make things clear. also since you are asking questions upright she might refrain from asking you do things from next time.

JAK

P.S. where in the world do you get time for these petty things. At first, when i read this post it got me a smile. but then i thought of answering as I thought you are young you need a proper guidance on these issues.

 

[Amina 1]

:salam2:


I completley agree with a muslimah86 ignore her you are not her slave.
That kind of person makes me
I will do a dua for you asking that she leaves you alone:tti_sister:

 

[HappyMuslimah]

ASAK,


P.S. where in the world do you get time for these petty things. At first, when i read this post it got me a smile. but then i thought of answering as I thought you are young you need a proper guidance on these issues.

Thanks for your help. You're right, it is petty, but I'm sensitive and sometimes my feelings are easily hurt (something which I shall try to rectify). How did you know I was 'young' ?

 

[islamisthesolution]

:salam2:

As the title suggests, I am fed up of silly women/girls playing immature social games. The situation is this: I am acquainted with a girl who is a mirza/ummaydth (i.e. someone who believes that the Final Prophet (PBUH) is not, er, the final prophet). We talk, but it’s uncomfortable and we don't really gel together as friends through no fault of either of us.

A few weeks ago, we were sitting with another friend. The girl in question commented that she was hungry. Then a few minutes later, she stated 'I don't mean to be mean but will you go get me a sandwich?' I replied 'I'm sorry, I’m feeling tired today, otherwise I would have gone for you’. The truth is, I was not tired. I thought she was on a power trip and I certainly was not going to roll over and do what she said for the sake of it. The caff was ten minutes away, it was raining, and she had not mentioned for what reason she wanted me, in particular, to get her sandwich for her – the other girl was her best friend whilst I am a near stranger!

She has now taken offence and is gossiping/backbiting about me. Should I apologise? My friends say that I should have just gotten it for her. I tried not to offend her by saying I was tired, bit she seemed to ask me to go simply because she thought I was the ‘weak link’.

What should I do? I’ve tried to be patient.

P.S. Just realized the girl’s sect is irrelevant. Please ignore. *!*!*!

P.P.S. Men – I am particularly interested in what you have to say, us girls tend to ‘feel’ things too much, i.e. we may be extra-sensitive

P.P.P.S. If anyone has similar experiences, please feel free to post

:salam2:

first of all this girl pushed you to lie when you told her that you are tired and you werent so this isnt the choice as afriend and the rest i guess the other brothers and sisters told you about it .
and no you arent her slave to do anything for her and you could have told her that you wont do such a thing for her because you dont feel like doing it .
but anyway sister i think you should stay away from her and look for a good a real good friend who make you get closer to Allah and not vice versa .

may Allah guide us all to the right path .

:salam2:

 

[Muslimah-S]

:salam2: sister HappyMuslimah,
May Allah keep you happy always.
Islam has the solution for humanity, One way to win over your enemy is described by Allah in Surah Fussilat.Please read the following three ayat sis. JazzakAllahu kahir.

33. And who is better in speech than he who [says: "My Lord is Allah (believes in His Oneness)," and then stands straight (acts upon His Order), and] invites (men) to Allah's (Islamic Monotheism), and does righteous deeds, and says: "I am one of the Muslims."

34. The good deed and the evil deed cannot be equal. Repel (the evil) with one which is better (i.e. Allah ordered the faithful believers to be patient at the time of anger, and to excuse those who treat them badly), then verily! he, between whom and you there was enmity, (will become) as though he was a close friend.

35. But none is granted it (the above quality) except those who are patient, and none is granted it except the owner of the great portion (of the happiness in the Hereafter i.e. Paradise and in this world of a high moral character).

wasalam

 

[wannabe_muttaqi]

ASAK

Thanks for your help. You're right, it is petty, but I'm sensitive and sometimes my feelings are easily hurt (something which I shall try to rectify). How did you know I was 'young' ?

ASAK,
its just a feeling i got when i read your post. To be honest these things are important when you are young, ( Now don't think that i'm old.....well i'm bit older than you but my life has gone thru many things which made my thoughts bit mature i can say). Anyways all iwanted to tell you was have firm attitude along with some sort of compassion in that.

May ALLAH SWT bless you and give you the best of attitude. Ameen
JAK