Would you consider an intercultural/racial marriage?
- Thread starter jabba
- Start date
TheHumbleWun
Banned
Asalaalamilkum,
I have a preference/standard but I do not hold myself grudged to it. I prefer someone from my own culture/background but if don't come across that person then I will marry someone of other race/ethnicity.
In general, I believe there is a certain level of ease when you do marry someone from your own background such as family, language, food, etc. I believe it's relative to each person and what their standards are - after all, my uncle married a white American woman (who is a Muslim alhamdulillah).
I also believe it is more difficult for women to marry outside their race than it is for a man because of family disapproval or maybe I'm just speaking from my own mind or maybe it's time for me to go to sleep!
I have a preference/standard but I do not hold myself grudged to it. I prefer someone from my own culture/background but if don't come across that person then I will marry someone of other race/ethnicity.
In general, I believe there is a certain level of ease when you do marry someone from your own background such as family, language, food, etc. I believe it's relative to each person and what their standards are - after all, my uncle married a white American woman (who is a Muslim alhamdulillah).
I also believe it is more difficult for women to marry outside their race than it is for a man because of family disapproval or maybe I'm just speaking from my own mind or maybe it's time for me to go to sleep!
OmarTheFrench
Junior Member
We are Muslim, racial matter don't have a place in your religion...In theory.
In fact, for exemple in France lot of Muslim Father don't accept the weeding of their daughters with people of an other race(Muslim indeed).
And I yet lived that.
And good post jaaba, nice to see the TTI community isn't corrupted by tribal traditions who are not Islamic.
In fact, for exemple in France lot of Muslim Father don't accept the weeding of their daughters with people of an other race(Muslim indeed).
And I yet lived that.
And good post jaaba, nice to see the TTI community isn't corrupted by tribal traditions who are not Islamic.
salamu alaykum,
yes i would, in fact i am bosnian and my wife is somali
she is awesome. Assalamu alaykumMuharram
palestine
Servant of Allah
Asalaamu Alaikum. yes i would honestly consider being married to someone of another race. My family have no problem with that. But many people from my culture are always advising saying things like "it's allowed to marry someone outside of the culture, but if you think about it you are mostly likely to have a conflict....because you don't know how to cook the food of that culture, you don't speak the language of that culture, oh you are gonna misunderstand each other big time!".....and so on. This is what scares me, i hate tribalism and in the deen it's allowed to marry from other cultures...but i always am afraid....thinking that the people might be right. what if we actually you get a divorce or some other problem occurs of those simple things. I honestly still think that you should go through with marrying another culture though it may be scary. InshaAllah i hope that people will not give a hard time to those who accept marrying from other cultures and tribes ameen.:tti_sister: Asalaamu Alaikum brothers and sisters. and please get rid of any hatred in your hearts that you have against different cultures inshaAllah. the QURAN AND SUNNAH are our guiadance in our daily lives as well as to the path of paradise.
hussain.mahammed
a lonely traveller
As salamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wabrakatuhu brothers and sisters
Oh I am glad to be back after more than a week. Insha Allah problem is never there if we accept whatever Allah Subhanahu wa Taala gives us. Most of us find it hard to accept that there are problems when there are problems. But when we put our all desires for the sake of Allah Subhanahu wa Taala we will see that the problem itself is not a problem but a way to get more closer to Allah Subhanahu wa Taala and earn rewards from HIM.
Insha Allah Taala, its He who will give me my other half. So I dont need to worry.
This is a very nice thread by brother globalpeace
Marriage = Jogging with a Partner
Oh I am glad to be back after more than a week. Insha Allah problem is never there if we accept whatever Allah Subhanahu wa Taala gives us. Most of us find it hard to accept that there are problems when there are problems. But when we put our all desires for the sake of Allah Subhanahu wa Taala we will see that the problem itself is not a problem but a way to get more closer to Allah Subhanahu wa Taala and earn rewards from HIM.
Insha Allah Taala, its He who will give me my other half. So I dont need to worry.
This is a very nice thread by brother globalpeace
Marriage = Jogging with a Partner
alkathiri
As-Shafaa'i(Brother)
oumyaquine
Fière de ma religion
:salam2: I was born in South America my daddy was french and my mum is from Uruguay, my husband is from Spain(that's what he says,his parents are from San Sebastian) but he was born here in Belgium.We have in common Islam, otherwise we even don't speak the same spanish
We've been married for eleven years now(hope it will continue like that inch'AllahUmm Rayaan
New Member
Marriage, Casts and Compatibility
Monday, 04 June 2007
By the Noble Shaykh, ’Abdul-’Azeez Ibn Baaz
A brief article consisting of queries in regards to marrying into the clan of the Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam), and the reasons for which a person is married.
Indeed there is no excellence for an arab over a non-arab, nor for a non-arab over on arab, nor for a white person over a black one, nor for a black person over a white one, except through taqwaa (piety and obedience to Allaah).
COMPATIBILITY IS ONLY BASED UPON RELIGION AND PIETY:
From the evil and reprehensible matters is that some who claim to be from the tribe of Haashim (i.e. claim to be a Sayyid; someone related to the Prophet’s (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) family) say that there is no kafaa‘ah (marriage compatibility) between them and someone from outside of their own clan. So they do not get married outside of their clan, nor allow anyone from outside of their clan to marry them. This is a great error, a monstrous ignorance, oppression against the woman, and it is a legislation which neither Allaah nor His Messenger (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) legislated or prescribed. Rather, Allaah - the Most High - said:
“O mankind! We have created you from a male and female, and have made you into nations and tribes; that you may know one another, Indeed the most noblest of you with Allaah is the one who has the most taqwaa (piety, fear, and obedience of Allaah).” [Sooratul-Hujuraat 49:13]
“Indeed the Believers are but brothers.” [Sooratul-Hujuraat 49:10]
“The Believers - men and women - are allies and protectors, one to another.” [Sooratut-Tawbah 9:71]
“So their Lord accepted from them their supplication, and responded: Never will I allow to be lost the actions of any of you, be they male or female. You are one to another.” [Soorah Aali-’Imraan 3:195]
Allaah’s Messenger (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said: “Indeed there is no excellence for an arab over a non-arab, nor for a non-arab over on arab, nor for a white person over a black one, nor for a black person over a white one, except through taqwaa (piety and obedience to Allaah). The people are from Aadam, and Aadam was from earth.” [2]
The Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) also said: “Indeed my awliyaa‘ (friends and allies) are not the tribe of so and so. Rather my friends and allies are the muttaqoon (those who possess taqwaa) - wherever they may be.” [3]
The Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said: “If there comes to you a person whose Religion and character are pleasing to you, then marry him (i.e. give the girl in marriage to him). If you do not do this, there will be fitnah (trial and discord) and great fasaad (corruption) upon the earth.” This was related by at-Tirmidhee and others, with a hasan isnaad (good chain of narration). [4]
The Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) married Zaynab bint Jahsh of the Quraysh (i.e. the Prophet’s clan) to Zayd Ibn Haarithah, his freed slave. He married Faatimah bint Qays from the Quraysh clan, to Usaamah, the son of Zayd. Bilaal ibn Rabaah, the Ethiopian married the sister of ’Abdur-Rahmaan Ibn ’Awf of the Quraysh. So the purpose here is to explain the falsehood of those who claim that it is forbidden, or detested, for someone from the Prophet's (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) clan to marry outside of that clan or tribe. Rather, what it is obligatory in this matter is to consider only Religion as the compatibility factor. So the Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) distanced Aboo Taalib and Aboo Lahab (his uncles) - because they were not Muslims and drew near Salmaan the Persian, Suhayb the Roman, and Bilaal the Ethiopian. This is because they possessed eemaan (faith) and piety, and they followed the Prescribed Laws and traversed the Straight Path. Thus, whosoever adopts this false and ignorant practice of barring Haashimee women from marrying from outside of their clan or tribe, will only achieve blameworthy results; such as corruption of the people, or adversely affecting the birth-rates, even though Allaah - the Most High - said:
“And marry those amongst you who are single, and the righteous from your slaves. If they be poor, Allaah will enrich them out of His Bounty. And Allaah is all-Sufficient for His creation, the all-Knowing about their state.” [Sooratun-Noor 24:32]
So He commanded to marry those that are single, and to marry all other categories of Muslims - irrespective of whether they be rich or poor. Thus, since the Islaamic Sharee’ah urges and encourages the institution of marriage. So the Muslims should hasten to fulfill this command of Allaah and of His Messenger (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) when he said: “O youths! Whosoever amongst you has the ability to marry, then let him do so; for it lowers the gaze and restrains the private parts. But whosoever does not have the ability then let him take to fasting; for indeed it is a shield for him.” Its authenticity has been agreed upon. [5] Thus, it is incumbent upon the guardians to fear Allaah concerning their guardianship, since it is an amaanah (trust and responsibility) around their necks, and Allaah will question them concerning this trust. So it is upon them to hasten in getting their daughters, sons, and sisters married, to the extent that this task has taken full effect in life, and the corruption and harms of not doing so have been minimized. And it is known that when women are prevented from getting married, or if their marriage is delayed and deferred, then this is a cause for calamities to occur, a cause for shameful moral crimes to take place, and a cause for a decline in standards of behaviour. So - O worshippers of Allaah - it is upon you to fear Allaah regarding your own selves, and with regards to the daughters, sisters, and other women whom Allaah has been placed under your charge and authority, and that the Muslims should come in order to realise the good and the happiness for the society, and to follow the path that will increase the good and lessen the crimes. And you should know that you will all be questioned and held to account about your actions, as Allaah - the Most High - said:
“By your Lord! We shall call them all to account for all that they used to do.” [Sooratul-Hijr 15:92]
And Allaah - the Mighty and Majestic - said:
“And to Allaah belongs all that is in the heavens and the earth, that He may punish those who do evil with that which they have done; and reward those who do good with Paradise which is best.” [Sooratun-Najm 53:31]
So hasten in getting your sons and daughters married, following in the footsteps of your Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam), and the footsteps of the noble Sahaabah (Companions) (radiyallaahu ’anhum), and all those who follow their path and guidance. I also advise you all not to seek excessive sums for the mahr (dowry), but rather be moderate in this, and that you strive to select pious and righteous people for marriage.
We ask Allaah to grant us the understanding of the Religion; grant us firmness upon it; and that He protects us and all the Muslims from the evil promptings of our own souls, and our evil resultant actions; and that He keeps away from us the deviating trials and discords, whether open or hidden. And we ask Allaah also to correct all those who have a position of authority over the affairs of the Muslims, and that He rectifies them. Indeed he is the One having the power to do so. And may Allaah extol and send blessings of peace upon Muhammad, and upon his Family, Companions and all those who follow them.
Footnotes:
[1] Majmoo’ul-Fataawaa wa Maqaalaat Mutanawwi‘ah (3/100- 103)
[2] Saheeh: Related by Ahmad (5/411). It was authenticated by Ibn Taymiyyah in Kitaabul-Iqtidaa‘ (p. 69)
[3] Related by al-Bukhaaree (10/351) and Muslim (no.215), from ’Amr Ibnul-’Aas (radiyallaahu ’anhu)
[4] Hasan: Related by at-Tirmidhee (no. 1085), from Aboo Haatim al-Muzanee and Aboo Hurayrah
(radiyallaahu ’anhumaa). It was authenticated by al-Albaanee in Irwaa‘ul-Ghaleel (no. 1868).
[5] Related by al-Bukhaaree (4/106) and Muslim (no. 1400), from Ibn Mas‘ood (radiyallaahu ’anhu)
Monday, 04 June 2007
By the Noble Shaykh, ’Abdul-’Azeez Ibn Baaz
A brief article consisting of queries in regards to marrying into the clan of the Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam), and the reasons for which a person is married.
Indeed there is no excellence for an arab over a non-arab, nor for a non-arab over on arab, nor for a white person over a black one, nor for a black person over a white one, except through taqwaa (piety and obedience to Allaah).
COMPATIBILITY IS ONLY BASED UPON RELIGION AND PIETY:
From the evil and reprehensible matters is that some who claim to be from the tribe of Haashim (i.e. claim to be a Sayyid; someone related to the Prophet’s (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) family) say that there is no kafaa‘ah (marriage compatibility) between them and someone from outside of their own clan. So they do not get married outside of their clan, nor allow anyone from outside of their clan to marry them. This is a great error, a monstrous ignorance, oppression against the woman, and it is a legislation which neither Allaah nor His Messenger (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) legislated or prescribed. Rather, Allaah - the Most High - said:
“O mankind! We have created you from a male and female, and have made you into nations and tribes; that you may know one another, Indeed the most noblest of you with Allaah is the one who has the most taqwaa (piety, fear, and obedience of Allaah).” [Sooratul-Hujuraat 49:13]
“Indeed the Believers are but brothers.” [Sooratul-Hujuraat 49:10]
“The Believers - men and women - are allies and protectors, one to another.” [Sooratut-Tawbah 9:71]
“So their Lord accepted from them their supplication, and responded: Never will I allow to be lost the actions of any of you, be they male or female. You are one to another.” [Soorah Aali-’Imraan 3:195]
Allaah’s Messenger (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said: “Indeed there is no excellence for an arab over a non-arab, nor for a non-arab over on arab, nor for a white person over a black one, nor for a black person over a white one, except through taqwaa (piety and obedience to Allaah). The people are from Aadam, and Aadam was from earth.” [2]
The Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) also said: “Indeed my awliyaa‘ (friends and allies) are not the tribe of so and so. Rather my friends and allies are the muttaqoon (those who possess taqwaa) - wherever they may be.” [3]
The Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said: “If there comes to you a person whose Religion and character are pleasing to you, then marry him (i.e. give the girl in marriage to him). If you do not do this, there will be fitnah (trial and discord) and great fasaad (corruption) upon the earth.” This was related by at-Tirmidhee and others, with a hasan isnaad (good chain of narration). [4]
The Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) married Zaynab bint Jahsh of the Quraysh (i.e. the Prophet’s clan) to Zayd Ibn Haarithah, his freed slave. He married Faatimah bint Qays from the Quraysh clan, to Usaamah, the son of Zayd. Bilaal ibn Rabaah, the Ethiopian married the sister of ’Abdur-Rahmaan Ibn ’Awf of the Quraysh. So the purpose here is to explain the falsehood of those who claim that it is forbidden, or detested, for someone from the Prophet's (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) clan to marry outside of that clan or tribe. Rather, what it is obligatory in this matter is to consider only Religion as the compatibility factor. So the Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) distanced Aboo Taalib and Aboo Lahab (his uncles) - because they were not Muslims and drew near Salmaan the Persian, Suhayb the Roman, and Bilaal the Ethiopian. This is because they possessed eemaan (faith) and piety, and they followed the Prescribed Laws and traversed the Straight Path. Thus, whosoever adopts this false and ignorant practice of barring Haashimee women from marrying from outside of their clan or tribe, will only achieve blameworthy results; such as corruption of the people, or adversely affecting the birth-rates, even though Allaah - the Most High - said:
“And marry those amongst you who are single, and the righteous from your slaves. If they be poor, Allaah will enrich them out of His Bounty. And Allaah is all-Sufficient for His creation, the all-Knowing about their state.” [Sooratun-Noor 24:32]
So He commanded to marry those that are single, and to marry all other categories of Muslims - irrespective of whether they be rich or poor. Thus, since the Islaamic Sharee’ah urges and encourages the institution of marriage. So the Muslims should hasten to fulfill this command of Allaah and of His Messenger (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) when he said: “O youths! Whosoever amongst you has the ability to marry, then let him do so; for it lowers the gaze and restrains the private parts. But whosoever does not have the ability then let him take to fasting; for indeed it is a shield for him.” Its authenticity has been agreed upon. [5] Thus, it is incumbent upon the guardians to fear Allaah concerning their guardianship, since it is an amaanah (trust and responsibility) around their necks, and Allaah will question them concerning this trust. So it is upon them to hasten in getting their daughters, sons, and sisters married, to the extent that this task has taken full effect in life, and the corruption and harms of not doing so have been minimized. And it is known that when women are prevented from getting married, or if their marriage is delayed and deferred, then this is a cause for calamities to occur, a cause for shameful moral crimes to take place, and a cause for a decline in standards of behaviour. So - O worshippers of Allaah - it is upon you to fear Allaah regarding your own selves, and with regards to the daughters, sisters, and other women whom Allaah has been placed under your charge and authority, and that the Muslims should come in order to realise the good and the happiness for the society, and to follow the path that will increase the good and lessen the crimes. And you should know that you will all be questioned and held to account about your actions, as Allaah - the Most High - said:
“By your Lord! We shall call them all to account for all that they used to do.” [Sooratul-Hijr 15:92]
And Allaah - the Mighty and Majestic - said:
“And to Allaah belongs all that is in the heavens and the earth, that He may punish those who do evil with that which they have done; and reward those who do good with Paradise which is best.” [Sooratun-Najm 53:31]
So hasten in getting your sons and daughters married, following in the footsteps of your Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam), and the footsteps of the noble Sahaabah (Companions) (radiyallaahu ’anhum), and all those who follow their path and guidance. I also advise you all not to seek excessive sums for the mahr (dowry), but rather be moderate in this, and that you strive to select pious and righteous people for marriage.
We ask Allaah to grant us the understanding of the Religion; grant us firmness upon it; and that He protects us and all the Muslims from the evil promptings of our own souls, and our evil resultant actions; and that He keeps away from us the deviating trials and discords, whether open or hidden. And we ask Allaah also to correct all those who have a position of authority over the affairs of the Muslims, and that He rectifies them. Indeed he is the One having the power to do so. And may Allaah extol and send blessings of peace upon Muhammad, and upon his Family, Companions and all those who follow them.
Footnotes:
[1] Majmoo’ul-Fataawaa wa Maqaalaat Mutanawwi‘ah (3/100- 103)
[2] Saheeh: Related by Ahmad (5/411). It was authenticated by Ibn Taymiyyah in Kitaabul-Iqtidaa‘ (p. 69)
[3] Related by al-Bukhaaree (10/351) and Muslim (no.215), from ’Amr Ibnul-’Aas (radiyallaahu ’anhu)
[4] Hasan: Related by at-Tirmidhee (no. 1085), from Aboo Haatim al-Muzanee and Aboo Hurayrah
(radiyallaahu ’anhumaa). It was authenticated by al-Albaanee in Irwaa‘ul-Ghaleel (no. 1868).
[5] Related by al-Bukhaaree (4/106) and Muslim (no. 1400), from Ibn Mas‘ood (radiyallaahu ’anhu)
deepheart
Junior Member
Assalam alaikum brothers and sisters
Really nice thread. Personally, i don't care about culture or race. I gave up my culture when i found Islam. Now the Qur'an and Sunnah are my culture (Alhamdulillah) so culture has no place when i'm picking a bride.
As for race, little tricky. I'm an African African (I'm black) but i don't care about colour and Alhamdulillah since I've been living in Saudi Arabia (about 2 years) I've never experienced racism. I actually would have married someone of another race but something went wrong. The problem was not related to culture or race.
In my country culture is an important factor in Muslim marriages but here in Saudi what counts is your nationality (are you Saudi?) and the size of your pocket).
Thanks for the thread.
Salam.
Really nice thread. Personally, i don't care about culture or race. I gave up my culture when i found Islam. Now the Qur'an and Sunnah are my culture (Alhamdulillah) so culture has no place when i'm picking a bride.
As for race, little tricky. I'm an African African (I'm black) but i don't care about colour and Alhamdulillah since I've been living in Saudi Arabia (about 2 years) I've never experienced racism. I actually would have married someone of another race but something went wrong. The problem was not related to culture or race.
In my country culture is an important factor in Muslim marriages but here in Saudi what counts is your nationality (are you Saudi?) and the size of your pocket).
Thanks for the thread.
Salam.
dawahforever
Junior Member
Asalaamu Alaikum
Well I am a Canadian married to a Malaysian so yes I think its a good idea. Some problems do exist thought like the kids can't talk to their grandparents and when it comes to food we just cook our own and then share. I make the pizza and he makes the curry. Of course though we live in Canada so it makes it easier..its a multicultural country and easy-going. In Malaysia they have a cow when they see the husband cooking..I mean the old generation. But of course the most important thing is religion and sometimes it brings in culture too because it gets tied in..like Malaysian clothes are islamic and canadian ones aren't so you end up wearing the same clothes and that makes a closeness too well at least for women but for men well they think jeans are some kind of international uniform even for muslim men.
Wa Salaamu Alaikum
D4E
Well I am a Canadian married to a Malaysian so yes I think its a good idea. Some problems do exist thought like the kids can't talk to their grandparents and when it comes to food we just cook our own and then share. I make the pizza and he makes the curry. Of course though we live in Canada so it makes it easier..its a multicultural country and easy-going. In Malaysia they have a cow when they see the husband cooking..I mean the old generation. But of course the most important thing is religion and sometimes it brings in culture too because it gets tied in..like Malaysian clothes are islamic and canadian ones aren't so you end up wearing the same clothes and that makes a closeness too well at least for women but for men well they think jeans are some kind of international uniform even for muslim men.
Wa Salaamu Alaikum
D4E
Ali(Whalan)
Junior Member
yes why not, no one has preference over the except by taqwa