selaamu aleykum
as a 17 year old male speaking it would be every guys fantasy to have a multiple wives but i don think its realistic and workable in todays world.
wa alaykum salam.
I've got my points to make, and insha'allah I will do them in the way that is most understandable. And I ask from the very beginning you do not take offence at my words... because I merely say this in defence of my understanding... however it has quite a liability to be wrong.
If polygamy was not workable in "today's world" then it would not have been allowed from the very beginning would it have? The Prophet
was sent as a Messenger for ALL mankind. The ones from back then, then ones now... and the people yet to come (insha'allah). The message, the commands, injunctions, allowances never changed... and so we cannot say that they are not workable. If it was not workable nor realistic, then Islaam would not have allowed it! Allah says he has perfected our religion... PERFECTED. From the day that verse was revealed... Islaam was sealed. There's nothing that can come after it, nor can one say that what was applicable back then is not applicable today.
I say perhaps it can be said that the situations are unfavorable, that certain men cannot due justice to the wives, or that certain women may do harm to themselves or others due to jealousy of their co-wives... but we cannot say that of ALL men nor ALL women nor ALL situations.
There will always be a way for what is allowed and established as such in Islaam, no matter what society, what decade, what people... that's how I see it, and although I may have come out a bit harsh in my critism of that statement, I don't mean it as anything but a reminder.
As for the second bit:
women in the modern age aren't stupid as they are back then and have found the brains to stand up from being taken advantage ofd. Elhemdulilaah for that...
Akhi... :astag: ... Subhan'allah... I think this comment is one that should be retracted, and stricken from ones heart and mind!!!
Women in the modern age? Which women is this in reference to? Do you realize what this statement means?
The women back then...subhan'allah... they were intelligent, they were wise beyond all things ... only we do not see it as such because we've become so entangled with our "Modern" views on intelligence.
Aisha (radi allahu anha) was one of the greatest scholars of her time... she was educated in countless feilds and even some of the greatest Sahabi came to learn from her. They understood her rank, her understanding...her perception, and many of them commented on the eloquence of her words. After Abu Hurairah (ra) she narrated the most ahadeeth, even though she was only 18 when the prophet
died!! How many of us can even HOPE to have that level of understanding of our Deen? Our religion at that age? Some of us think we are young and so our understanding is fine, but can you even seek to compare to Aisha (ra) at that age?! Islaam wouldn't be what it is today without the contributions of her...and she is just one of the Prophet
wives.
THEREFORE I ask you... who is being taken advantage of? After this level of understanding was Aisha taken advantage of because she married the Prophet
who was already married? And I hope people don't seek to make excuses because he was who he was... it is true, but that also applied to the wives of Umar (ra), Uthman (ra) and other companions. Were their wives stupid for doing this? The woman who were praised for their submission to Allah? Who heard a command and immediately obeyed? Who sacraficed their jewelry, time, and children for the sake of Islaam? These were the stupid ones? How can that be? It's a paradox!
Rather when I see some women today, putting down and disregarding Islaam... making it second in their lives... like a part time cloak to either wear or take off... these are who I see as the stupid ones. The ones who are given the truth and they reject it, the ones who don't sacrafice and OUNCE of which the women of the past did for the sake of Allah.
The modern woman is not endowed with knowledge... lest it be for the sake of Allah, and the woman of the past were not breed in ignorance lest it be for rejecting the truth.
Wisdom, knowledge and intelligence are all based on the eyes of the believer... err.. beholder... and i QUITE see it that these woman of the past were not taken advantage of, rather they were knowledgeable and understanding in the matters of Deen so much so that they knew their rights, and the rights of their husbands, and of Allah. And I see it as the men of that time also sought to find their rights to their wives, held the correct adab, intentions and love for Allah so that they would not even think of intentionally "taking advantage" of any woman.
And if they did do injustice, then it is with Allah, but you cannot categorize all of them as such, nor label our women, our greatest rolemodels as... stupid.
Again... I'm sorry if this came out harsh, I'm only expressing my views as you have yours.
final point: its a nice fantasy to have multiple wives but marriage is hard work and after seeing my parents marriage fail i cant see even managing one wife
Marriage IS hard work. That's why it is the duty of each and every Muslim to look into Islaamic rights and regulations in accordance to marriage... what rights one has to the other, to their family, to their community, etc etc...
Allah knows akhi... it was written in their Qadr but that doesn't mean it is written in YOURS. Learn your duties as a male and then have tawwakul in Allah (swt) and believe that He will find you the right person (insha'allah).
Salaam,
By generalizing that today's women are stupid you just assigned that label to your mother, sisters, grandmothers, and cousins. You have spoken for all of womenkind apparently without much experience of interacting with women, you are not married by your own reports. Frankly by stereotyping and overgeneralizing you make yourself appear to be harsh and prejudicial....not exactly the ideal Muslim male.
umm.. ukhti... i know this is a TTI tradition, and I hate to break it to you, but Isra is a girl.
So therefore, I am also kind of obliged to tell you that that interpretation was a bit skewed. She didn't mean it that way.
argh i need to add to this! but alas... bed time
...