Asalamoe aleikoem my fellow worshippers of the one and true God.
I want to tell you how I became a muslim again. For all you doubters in here, especially the ones that come from a non muslim country and are so attracted to the uniqueness of Islam, I would like to add that Allah is the most merciful. Of all the people in the world, He forgives your sins entirely if you submit to him. That is a promise from the Merciful. And remember doubts come from the Satan. He tries to rationalise your actions and to reform you into his worshipper. Allah and Satan both make promises, but it is only Allah that furfils His promise.
I'm sorry it's so long, but you should read it !!!!
Back to my story,
I orginally come from Somalia, East Africa. I have lived their peacefully with my mother and father and the rest of the family in the once called the Pearl of East Africa Mogadishu, till I was four years old. I would like to tell you about the mercy of Allah, that I unfortunately have taken for granted.
We had to flee the country in 1991, because of the war. We only had two options. There was chaos and roadblocks on every street. We could either leave by boat or drive away and hope we'd make it. I think they destroyed the airport, so no one could flee by plain. We drove away and were halted by some militia men. They asked of which clan we were. My father did the talking and eventually we got away. We were very fortunate, they didn't ask my mother's clan, because they hated people from her clan. They'd surely kill her and all of her children ( us) on the spot if they only knew. But masha'allah they did not. We went to a southern coastal town called Kismayo. My father was the head of the national bank of Somalia and because of his status he had a lot of connections with people. Within a day or two my aunt had reserved some seats ( in a overcrowded boat). She did not want to leave immediately, because she wanted to know what happened to her house and all of her belongings. So she offered us to go. We went on the overcrowded fishing boat with rotten fish down below deck. My older brother always cries when he thinks about that moment. After a while the crewmembers got lost in the ocean and the motor failed. We didn't know were to go. We were lost for two days. But by the mercy of Allah, we were close to our destination. We arrived in Mombasa, Kenia.
Somali people were arrogant and welthy in those times. And they were especially very racist to people that very looked like the stereotype of an African ( in my opinion Somalis have an identitycrisis, arab or african, or both)
But because of the war, many refugeecamps had to be made in Kenia. Now everything was the other way. Somalis were now the victims of war, famine and poverty. I heard that the Kenians were abusing the Somalis in the refugee camps, because of our behaviour towards them before the war. But luckily my dad booked us a flight to Egypt. And from there we went to Europe, the Netherlands. And stayed there for sixteens years. And I'm still here waiting for the war to end.
My family has raised me to be a muslim, but never directly said what the consequences were if I didn't submit in the right way. In my opinion one cannot be a muslim only by his name, country, or appearence. It has to be seen in actions as well. That's what makes Islam the most attractive religion in the world. I went to the mosque till I was 14. But I have never really been so proud to be a muslim, because I didn't know why I was a muslim. I just thought it was a part of my heritage and tradition. And I have taken it for granted. ( like many muslims do ).
I did have experienced one out of body experience. This may sound very strange to you and you may not be able to relate to it. I was standing in the kitchens when I was 14 years old and suddenly I felt very warm. And after about two seconds I only saw two colours. Black and purple. I came out of my body and looked at myself. Then I came back and never felt so human before. I looked at my ten fingers and asked myself. Why I am here, why do I have ten finger, why this and why that. I cannot explain this. You have to have encountered this for yourself.
It was untill I turned 18 I started to step away from the Western culture. In the country I am living in for about 16 years, they want us ( muslims) to assimilate and to lose our religion and values. I have tried to fit in, but I could never understand why the people in the West submitted themselves to temporarily material things and adore them. The romantization of alcohol abuse, the exploitation of women ( for instance in the commercials of the European Championship they let women barely dressed play soccer for men's entertainment on tv) and I could go on and on. These social problems they face, Islam has already solved them for more than 1400 years ago. Masha'allah!
A friend of mine, Mohamed, once asked me why I didn't pray. And I couldn't give him a sane answer. Because there isn't an answer that could be acceptable. I started to fear life more and more. Celebrities and important figures in life were dying, one by one. And because death even came closer to me ( the mother of a friend died), it made me reflect more about life.
When I was 18 years old I was walking to college. It was a very windy day in Amsterdam. I was walking to cross the street, but suddenly a sign came of a pole. It was 2 meters by 2 meters and it came directly towards me. This object would've killed me if it had to me with that speed. I have never ever seen an object came to me in such a slow way. It looked like it was in slow-motion. But I knew I didn't have the time to duck, so I stood still.
Masha'allah the object passed me. But the weird thing about it was that it came just above my shoulder and ear. As if the wind did its task to warn me.I was in a hurry for a lecture at my school. So I didn't have enough time to think about what just happened. After school I had another 'aya' or sign from Allah. I was walking to the subway ( metro ), but I notices a black bird was following me. After a while it looked like he wanted to attack me and it didn't know why. It went away after a couple of attempts. Then the strangest thing happened. I saw about 50 pigeons grazing and looking for food on the ground.
Normally they mind their own business, but this wasn't the case when they saw me. Suddenly they stopped moving and eating and looked at me. None of them moved. I didn't know what to think! I was the only one in the street and I couldn't believe my eyes. It scared me so much I ran away.
I asked my family and friends what this meant and they said it was a sign of Allah to come on his path again. As soon possible I read the Quran with the translation and everything the Quran said made sense. Once when I had doubts I asked God to lead my on his path and give me another sign ( very egocentric after all the signs he gave me) And I can't remember what it exactly said, but I think it was something like ' those who seek the help from Allah will surely receive it and Allah will continuelly send them ayas for they will stand firm in their faith' I'm sorry If I said it wrong. But I mentioned it just to give you an example.
Since then I pray 5 times a day, try to do good deeds, be good to my family, try give da'wah to ignorant people and learn more and more about Islam. And I'm here on thise website to share and learn.
:salam2: my Ummah :arabi1: