Asalaamu alaikum brothers and sisters in Islam -
I've made a few posts describing my life changes that I've taken all for Allah s.w.t. this summer. I didn't post all of them, because I didn't want to feel like I was guilty of riyah (see my previous post) or that I was bragging. But to wrap up in a nutshell:
I took June off from my job for medical reasons. As some of you may remember, I worked 90 miles (roughly 145 km) from my house, a drive that often took over 2 hours. This raised my stress, my diabetes, my blood pressure etc.
In June I prayed Istikhara and asked ALLAH azawajal for guidance. I came to a plan to resign my position, cash in my 401K, live off that & find work here closer to home OR in Kuwait which is my biggest dream. When I prayed Istikhara, that was what I prayed on: should I do this?
I told my mother about my plan, and she said "I cannot in good conscience talk you out of it...it sounds like a better way of life for you". Whenever I thought about it, I felt peace...when I thought about returning to work, I felt stress, frustration etc..I felt that was my reply, so on July 7th I resigned my job of 12 years.
In August I gave my car back to the bank, in the name of Allah...I didn't want to be paying that riba during Ramadan. I am still paying my mortgage, but I can't do much on that yet - until ALLAH opens the doors to get out of it. I used some money from my 401 to buy myself a beater car to just to get around town...I bought it from a brother at my masjid, keeping it in the community (this brother also takes non-interest payments, may Allah reward him).
After Ramadan I used some of that 401 money to make one dream come true - I flew to Dubai and then to Kuwait. As I mentioned in another post, it was an amazing trip. On the Monday after I returned to the US I re-submitted an application for a job there. I was told last night my application is "under review". Meanwhile, a job I applied for a year ago here in my town just sent me an invitation to take the test - its a 911 Dispatch position, the same job I applied for in Kuwait.
Now here is where I start to get nervous.
My 401K money is down to the last 50 bucks. I am still jobless. When I traveled, I begged ALLAH - making traveler dua - to please get me an income that is halaal and is best for me. I would like that to be Kuwait, but if its here then alhamdulillah. I begged that whichever is HIS WILL, that its easy for me.
I applied for unemployment, but was declined initially because I had quit voluntarily. This past Thursday, the 7th, I met with a judge for the appeal. I've yet to hear a reply.
So. Here I am with money draining away...I'm not starving yet, inshallah! But I'm wondering - is it possible I misunderstood when I did my Istikhara? Or is it possible I am just being impatient (know that sabr isn't easy for me)? My faith in ALLAH subhanahu wa ta'ala is such that I know HE will not let me down, because HE never has. But I am standing at a cross roads...
As it says in the Qur'an, "And consult them in the affair. When you have taken a decision, put your trust in ALLAH" (Al-Imran 3:159)
So I have now consulted...and with my decision I've put my trust in ALLAH.
Am I just being impatient?
Thank you for your replies.
JazakAllah khairyn!
D.
I've made a few posts describing my life changes that I've taken all for Allah s.w.t. this summer. I didn't post all of them, because I didn't want to feel like I was guilty of riyah (see my previous post) or that I was bragging. But to wrap up in a nutshell:
I took June off from my job for medical reasons. As some of you may remember, I worked 90 miles (roughly 145 km) from my house, a drive that often took over 2 hours. This raised my stress, my diabetes, my blood pressure etc.
In June I prayed Istikhara and asked ALLAH azawajal for guidance. I came to a plan to resign my position, cash in my 401K, live off that & find work here closer to home OR in Kuwait which is my biggest dream. When I prayed Istikhara, that was what I prayed on: should I do this?
I told my mother about my plan, and she said "I cannot in good conscience talk you out of it...it sounds like a better way of life for you". Whenever I thought about it, I felt peace...when I thought about returning to work, I felt stress, frustration etc..I felt that was my reply, so on July 7th I resigned my job of 12 years.
In August I gave my car back to the bank, in the name of Allah...I didn't want to be paying that riba during Ramadan. I am still paying my mortgage, but I can't do much on that yet - until ALLAH opens the doors to get out of it. I used some money from my 401 to buy myself a beater car to just to get around town...I bought it from a brother at my masjid, keeping it in the community (this brother also takes non-interest payments, may Allah reward him).
After Ramadan I used some of that 401 money to make one dream come true - I flew to Dubai and then to Kuwait. As I mentioned in another post, it was an amazing trip. On the Monday after I returned to the US I re-submitted an application for a job there. I was told last night my application is "under review". Meanwhile, a job I applied for a year ago here in my town just sent me an invitation to take the test - its a 911 Dispatch position, the same job I applied for in Kuwait.
Now here is where I start to get nervous.
My 401K money is down to the last 50 bucks. I am still jobless. When I traveled, I begged ALLAH - making traveler dua - to please get me an income that is halaal and is best for me. I would like that to be Kuwait, but if its here then alhamdulillah. I begged that whichever is HIS WILL, that its easy for me.
I applied for unemployment, but was declined initially because I had quit voluntarily. This past Thursday, the 7th, I met with a judge for the appeal. I've yet to hear a reply.
So. Here I am with money draining away...I'm not starving yet, inshallah! But I'm wondering - is it possible I misunderstood when I did my Istikhara? Or is it possible I am just being impatient (know that sabr isn't easy for me)? My faith in ALLAH subhanahu wa ta'ala is such that I know HE will not let me down, because HE never has. But I am standing at a cross roads...
As it says in the Qur'an, "And consult them in the affair. When you have taken a decision, put your trust in ALLAH" (Al-Imran 3:159)
So I have now consulted...and with my decision I've put my trust in ALLAH.
Am I just being impatient?
Thank you for your replies.
JazakAllah khairyn!
D.
Akhi Daniyal,
