Cross Cultural Marriage?

[saifkhan]

:salam2:

the duty of every parent is to teach the proper Islam to the children. We should teach them and be proud of being Muslims... simple!! SubhanaAllah!

wa 'alaykum salam warahamtu-llah

this was my point, barakAllahu feek for the clarification.
proud of being muslim.

because Allah wont gonna ask, where are you from
but how was our conduct with people as MUSLIM

wa-llahu ta'la 'alam
wassalam

 

[Just a Guy]

:salam2:

For myself, I think I would prefer a sister from another culture, simply because she can expand my knowledge and help me become a better man moreso than another convert sister who is also Western.

Besides, I have always liked the look of Arab and south Asian women, so there is that as well.

 

[Ershad]

The issues are usually simple to discuss:
1. How do we handle money and make money decisions
2. How do we go about raising a family, who will work, who will stay home if anyone, and how do we decide? How many kids? Will we use any allow secular inventions into our marriage, like bc or infertility treatment?

Allah says:

“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women because of what Allah has preferred one with over the other and because of what they spend to support them from their wealth.”

[Sûrah an-Nisâ’: 34]

3. How and when will we pray?

Prayer timings are usually the same in an area. The way is just one shown by the Prophet:saw2: . There might be some differences based on the madhab they follow. But, they won't be drastic differences.

4. If there are different sects, how will the children be raised, including expressions of faith

Islam is just one religion and it is free from what people invent. When there are disputes, get back to Qur'an and Sunnah. We are not talking about multi-faith marriages.

5. How will we decide where to live, and who will play a role in our children's faith?

During a marriage one of the persons may desire to explore a new expression of faith...how will this be handled with the children?

Those who have found the truth of Islam need not explore more.

How will the husband and wife deal with issues?

http://www.turntoislam.com/forum/showthread.php?t=83269

We believe piety is a pre-requisite for love. If your relationship with your Lord is good, then all relationships will be good, Insha Allah.

Brother, I recommend you to introduce yourself before posting here.

 

[Hajjerr]

.....................

 

[strive-may-i]

:salam2:

Well was looking at poll results. It made me think now...
I voted for Cross-Cultural too, possibly due to the exposure to the really smaller world. Not all are equally exposed to. Some do find great traction to same language/ same ethnicity. And So... I think the pro cross-cultural are that part of world population, who are having one thing in common, okay I mean English. That lets us easily communicate .... is it not? If not for some common factor, usually Language or the knack to quickly adapt to or take neutral ground in daily affairs, I think it could be real challenge. There are arguments in my head about right mix of Iso-Cultural/Iso-Ethnic, with tolerance for other culture/ethnicity... but nothing conclusive is coming out...

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

I know why I am a teacher...I post the same thing over and over again.

We are given variety as a means of seeing the Greatness of Creation. You can say genetic level, you can say subatomic(al) level, you can tie a string to it, I don't care..when male human mates with female human we get 100% baby human.

Cross cultural ( intercultural ) marriages can be wonderful. You have the merger of two different systems. And the best of both worlds comes out in baby.

I was so tickled when my sons described themselves to me as Blaasians.. Their heritage crosses four continents.

The deciding factor, the factor that makes them stand out is Islam. They are 100% Muslim.

 

[helpinghumanity]

P.S. Brother HelpingHumanity I apologise for taking your thread in another direction.

@helpinghumanity

so sorry brother for interrupting your thread....

So both of you teamed up to take the conversation in another direction. I see..let me go and find my partner....Just kidding..

Its absolutely fine as long as we all learn something from each other. Look at one of the post of sister "Seeking Allah's Mercy". It is quoted below. Mashallah it was a nice, intelligent and productive initiative. If she didn't have talked about it then how would we came to know her management skills...Mashallah THUMbS UP for her..

It could be. I'm suppose to have positive influence on my cousins. I'm expected to do what their parents should. It's a responsibilty imposed (By expectations) on me more than I 'think' I can bear. However, I feel I'm doing some good now that I changed my ways. I've put up a chart in my room. It shows a bar. Everytime my cousins do a good act, from salam when they enter the house to prayers or brushing there teeth, I add a green gem in there. Everytime something wrong (fighting, bad mouthing, being stubborn, not doing homework) happens I turn one of the gem black. A good deed changed the black back to green. fast prayers mean one gem, slow beautiful ones mean two. If they reach the mid line, they get a "Shawarma", If they score perfect, they get a juice as a bonus. It's working very well on both my cousins Mashaa'Allaah. One of them is 4 and doesn't know salah, but he's the first to perform wudhu and wait on the prayer rug for his brother (10) to lead him. I'm happy to have started 'some' good. I still have to think of what to do with the girls *sigh*. They are 15 and 12. Can't really think of much right now.

 

[MuslimShadow]

Assalamu alaikum.

Yeah, thumbs up to sister seeking Allah's mercy.

 

[MuslimShadow]

:salam2:

For myself, I think I would prefer a sister from another culture, simply because she can expand my knowledge and help me become a better man moreso than another convert sister who is also Western.

Besides, I have always liked the look of Arab and south Asian women, so there is that as well.

brother, i always thought white men dislike Asian women.........lol

 

[Murad206]

brother, i always thought white men dislike Asian women.........lol

Assalamu alaikum, I love Asians, my sister and her husband always make fun of me for it. And they say they wanna get me married to her or her and i'm like nope Japanese only, and i'm only 17, so maybe in another 8 years. But I like girls from everywhere I guess, so +1 for Cross Cultural Marriage.

 

[Just a Guy]

brother, i always thought white men dislike Asian women.........lol

:salam2:

Not this white guy.

Now I just have to meet an Asian sister who likes white guys and I'm good to go...

 

[PeArLL]

:salam2:

Not this white guy.

Now I just have to meet an Asian sister who likes white guys and I'm good to go...

......lol......

 

[Hard Rock Moslem]

as salam 'alaykum

who divided the lands and nation/nationalities?
plotting of kuffar.

why your country and my country is different in shape?
why this one is big and that one is small, who defines the boundaries?
isn't that who's got more power took the broader part, or who had link or lobbying the kuffar got the broader part?

don't mix tribe/clan with todays nationalities.
and what name you gonna give the tribe of the product of a cross cultural marriage, with what the child should be proud?


I'm not a stand to debunk you or defeat you, dont take it otherwise brother, I hope you can understand.


barakAllahu feek
wassalam

Brother, do not get emotional, pls read my posting again and try to understand it first. I never talk about boundaries or nationalities etc... perhaps you take it otherwise. In fact I do agree with the posting next to you.. that's what I summarised. Seem you just focus what I said on top, not the bottom one. Many Muslim reverts especially chinese in my country they do not wish to change their indentity, they would like remain chinese and Muslims. When culture and religion clashed, they put religion as priority. Likewise, I will proudly tell everyone I'm Indian Muslim, is that any problem in that? I've reverted to Islam, not my identity as Indian Muslim, I'm proud to be Indian Muslim. If I was born eskimo, I will say I'm proud Eskimo Muslim. Any problem? I'm sorry if I ever wronged you.

 

[PeArLL]

Brother, do not get emotional, pls read my posting again and try to understand it first. I never talk about boundaries or nationalities etc... perhaps you take it otherwise. In fact I do agree with the posting next to you.. that's what I summarised. Seem you just focus what I said on top, not the bottom one. Many Muslim reverts especially chinese in my country they do not wish to change their indentity, they would like remain chinese and Muslims. When culture and religion clashed, they put religion as priority. Likewise, I will proudly tell everyone I'm Indian Muslim, is that any problem in that? I've reverted to Islam, not my identity as Indian Muslim, I'm proud to be Indian Muslim. If I was born eskimo, I will say I'm proud Eskimo Muslim. Any problem?

I think we should stick to the point that WE ARE ALL MUSLIMS... No matter WHERE we are from... WE ARE ONE MUSLIM NATION.... We shouldn't argue over where we are from....

 

[MohammedMaksudul]

:salam2:

I would prefer anyone from any culture from any linguistic background or any color, as long as she is beneficial for me both in this dunya and the akhira. As long as she becomes the coolness of my eyes and guard both her and my deen.

 

[MohammedMaksudul]

:salam2:

I don't know if this was posted before. But I think this is the key to a successful marriage.

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[Hard Rock Moslem]

I think we should stick to the point that WE ARE ALL MUSLIMS... No matter WHERE we are from... WE ARE ONE MUSLIM NATION....

Sister, did I said we should not call ourselves Muslims?

We shouldn't argue over where we are from....

That's the point I made to brother saifkhan. And you point at me as though I said otherwise. Thank you.

 

[helpinghumanity]

brother, i always thought white men dislike Asian women.........lol

Assalamo aalaikum wa rahmatullah all

Please refrain from comments that contain "Like or dislike" for a particular nationality or origin. It may lead to an unnecessary debate which may offend many. Jazakumullah khairun ....

Furthermore please restrict the conversation for "Muslim couples only". Meaning the husband/wife or futuristic husband/wife are Muslims. However their parents may or may not follow Islam. Please refrain from giving example in which the spouses follow different religion.

Consent of the parents is one of the biggest hurdle for cross cultural marriages. Some of us are aware of one such a sister on TTI (I don't like to mention her name unless or until she herself comments). However the end result was in her favor

How would someone deal with a situation in which parents are not on the same page. Don't we have to follow the instructions of our parents?

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

Brother,

My concern becomes that we start to walk on thin ice. So many many parents get stuck on their own culture and do not see the bigger picture. Forget global there are many parents who are still village struck.

We got to go back to basics and the Prophet, may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, led the way.

Let me put it in the simplest words: We who are Believers leave the way of the world. Our pious predecessors left the way of the world behind. They crossed all social and cultural and racial barriers and married each other for the Love of Allah.

Have we moved backwards since then.

 

[PeArLL]

Sister, did I said we should not call ourselves Muslims?



That's the point I made to brother saifkhan. And you point at me as though I said otherwise. Thank you.

Brother, I'm not pointing at you.. I'm saying this to everyone including you, saifkhan brother,everyone else, and me...Since this thread is about Culture... We should ALWAYS put our religion on top... and now don't take me wrong... I know we ALL put our religion on top of everything else... When it comes to our culture we sometimes get offended... I know, I do sometimes... But we shouldn't... Hope you get what I mean..