Asking for Divorce because she is more educated

[umm hussain]

A local newspaper carried the story of a Saudi woman who asked for a divorce from her husband because she had earned a university degree while he had only a middle-school certificate.

What is strange is that she asked for the divorce after 10 years of marriage and after the birth of several children. Does it take us this long to discover a problem? Since when is divorce allowed as a result of cultural and educational inequalities?

The woman would have not earned her university degree without the help and support of her husband. Since she was married for more than 10 years, she may have held no more than a middle-school certificate when she married. The problem is not in her getting her degree but in the way she thinks. Total injustice was done to the husband who supported her, stood beside her until she got her degree.

The case is similar to men who divorce their wives after they achieve a certain social status, despite their wives having been patient and loving when they first married and lived in poverty.

This is a problem that we as a society have to face before it escalates to a level beyond our control. We are all aware that the divorce rate has shot up and reached dangerous proportions — as much between newly weds as between long married couples. Do we need 20 years of marriage to discover there is social inequality between a man and a woman? Is it possible that a woman should seek a divorce because she continued her education? Her husband might be better educated than a man who holds a university degree.

Divorce in Islam is permitted when one cannot live with his or her partner or when the man cannot perform his role as a father or the woman cannot perform her role as a mother. Divorce is also allowed when a woman cannot live with her husband because he beats her. But to ask for a divorce because of an academic qualification is a straightforward injustice.

I think we should have a close look at the divorce files and determine the reasons for them, especially since Saudi society is now deeply infected with the problem. Divorce is permitted in Islam but not for frivolous or transitory reasons. We see people divorcing and giving little thought to how their children will be affected. Divorce is no doubt the only cure for some marital problems but when we get to the point where a divorce happens every 10 minutes, that is a threat to society.

 

[justoneofmillion]

what do you want me to tell you sister this is astonishing!!! the result of the weakness of the iman ,which should a think be the responsability of every muslim
governement to put knowledge as a must in islam and reistablish it as a muslim value like it always has been in the past yes to progress but progress without values and religion will lead to the fall of every nation , we need to eliminate the perseption of some people in the muslim world that " emancipation" is a western value and instead of showing the people all the time how wonderful how free and how independent women think to be in the west medias like al jazeera should show what is really going on with women in the west i have noticed women peing in the street being all drunk when the get out from the clubs,sleeping in the street all drung on saturday night how many young women are prostituting themselves to finish their education in the west , how many are drug addicts how many die or get sick from anorexia because of the wonderful examples they get from the cattwalks in paris ,milan, and new york is this what the muslim society wants for it`s population ,the muslim media tend to concentrate more on wars , and conflicts instead of looking at the western society with scepticisme and objectiv critisisme, look at the western medias they don`t miss even one single opportunity to criticise the muslim society to arise a complex of inferiority in the counsciousness of muslim women!!!! so am asking why do our medias not do the same!!!thre is enough to talk about here. if we want to be succeful we don`t need to copy but to innovate in order to become an example for the west again like in the past!!!!equality yes man and womenare described as such in the eyes of Allah swt !!! they have the same duties zakat salat saum ....etc and the same reward the quran always talkes about beliving man and women ,truthful man and women,truthful man and women!!! but emancipation like the west has been practising no !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! a lot of experts and social scientistes are saying (even if it is politically incorrect to say it that it was a mistake)that women in the west have become the slaves of the capiltalist system :



1. they are always in competition with other women ,and buy tons of shoes of clothes and cosmetics until it becomes literally a sickness

2.they have to be skiny,and look good all the time and achive a high position in order to get the esteem and approval of the society

3.they sacrifice the time that needs to be spent with their children being all day at work especially at the early ages when the baby needs his mom the most.the result of tha is that the relationship between mother and child is becoming more and more problematic in the west a diffesciency in communication takes place psychologistes getting richer and richer because mother don`t know any more how to to educate their children

4. XXL generation is growing up in the west that`s beyond immagination
there is ahuge rate of children growing up too fat with heart diseases and lower life expectation and that`s due to them missing of having proper and healthy meals the parents come´back from work around six both tired from work bring prepared meals from the super market or just simply ordring pizzas!!! and then they have to choose if they spend more time with their children or with each other which is also important!!!

5. the next day the woman goes to the movies watches a love story for 2 hours and realises that it doesn`t resemble her life at all she becomes unsatisfied she starts feeling old and undisired and stars hunting for casanovas everywhere.ahuzubillahi


6.the next weeks the divorce takes place ,she is feeling young again until the next deseption !!! one of the parents starts to see his children once in a blue moon!!!



7. but the problem after all this is the the capitalist system that she cherishes so much is now teeling her to produce other childred or consumers in a more crude manner to produce the next generation that would feed the system!!! because otherwise they have to relaxe their emmigration policies and some are not going to like it!and these "some"
are the ones who give the majority votes!!! a night mare for polititians !!!!!



so this is how the western society is strangelling itself by itself with it`s one hand Allahswt has made it so simple yet most people don`t wanna listen
so now ask the muslim nations is this what you want!!!!the ones who are giving you advices are in trouble themselves they are stuck and don`t know how to get out of it especially with the rise of china and india , that`s why we see all these wars i guess. wassalam dear sister this is what i think about it! don`t be shy to correct me if am wrong.

 

[shaz_1999]

This is the muslim people following what non-muslims do, I cant even read the whole story coz she will make me proper mad.

 

[Aapa]

Salam,

It is a sad state. Allah will provide a proper wife for the husband, should he grant the current wife divorce.
It is sad because women forget what having a husband means. It is a gift. Yes, men drive women crazy. However, a husband gives a woman dignity. Love, discipline, respect, nobility can not be gained by a piece of paper.
It is sad because this woman values a piece of paper more than a soul..
May Allah provide for her husband and children...maybe his next wife will love him.
The first wife of the Prophet (swas) marrried a man much younger who did not read...and she abides in Paradise in home built of pearls..

 

[suumaya]

Asalamu alaykum

To be honest that brother is better of along...sister like that is really narrow-minded and ignorant and for sure if she doen't repent to ALLAH she is gonna pay the price......

 

[Abu Sarah]

Assalam Alaykum

Asking for Divorce because she is more educated

..

sister in islam,

i don't think that was main Issue.. due to a Saudi woman if she was righteous wife , she didn't ask for Divorce for such unreal Reason..then the Root of Issue is doesn't make a wise choice for the wife \ Husband ..

<wasalam>

 

[virtualeye]

AsslaamuAlaikum,

Education does not mean literacy.
What is being taught in universities, if you call that education then Bush, Tony blair and Condi are also educated, right? But infact they are worst creatures on earth.

Education is the grooming and nurturing. By acquiring knowledge, you come to know how to make highly advanced weapons but you stay inhuman to use those weapons to kill innocent men, women and children? Will we call that education?

Education is the learning of values of humanity, exploring the signs of our Creator and submitting to Him.

I think that lady acquired 'Moral deterioration' and not the Education.

Wasslaam,
VE

 

[alkathiri]

AsslaamuAlaikum,

Education does not mean literacy.
What is being taught in universities, if you call that education then Bush, Tony blair and Condi are also educated, right? But infact they are worst creatures on earth.

Education is the grooming and nurturing. By acquiring knowledge, you come to know how to make highly advanced weapons but you stay inhuman to use those weapons to kill innocent men, women and children? Will we call that education?

Education is the learning of values of humanity, exploring the signs of our Creator and submitting to Him.

I think that lady acquired 'Moral deterioration' and not the Education.

Wasslaam,
VE

:salam2:
i agree partly what u say.
Any knowledge is good ...it is best used when u teach or share with others about it

 

[virtualeye]

:salam2:
i agree partly what u say.
Any knowledge is good ...it is best used when u teach or share with others about it

"exploring the signs of our Creator" refers to scientific knowledge which you use for the betterment of humanity and not to make it worse.


Wasslaam,
VE

 

[Karima]

Asalamualikum,

I watched a show, recently, about the way of the Amish life, in America. These Quaker people do not have 'divorce'. They marry for life to one person.

The few of these types of people in America are the closest to what Islam is about. They live off the earth provided by God/Allah. They treat his creatures with thankfulness for God. They are not muslim, so Allah is not in their 'term'.

I just thought I would mention this, because after watching how they live, it reminded me of how pure they are just like those who fear and respect Allah.

Marriage is approached as in Islam. There is no contact of the girl with the boy prior to marriage. And they are pure for each other, and know that when they marry it is for life.

I agree about the poor excuse for divorce. To 'measure' one's accomplishments according to the world's standards, takes away from the integrity of the individual from his heart and soul for who he really is, which counts before God/Allah, and not worldy gain.

Salam

 

[Wulf]

:salam2:

This may not sound right, but I hold the belief that any oath or promise made before Allah (swt) must be binding in all ways.
I believe that where there is evidence of Physical, emotional or psychological abuse, divorce may be the last resort.

No-where have I seen where, the marriage vows of, "Till Death do us part", or "For life", have been changed to read, "Until Something better comes along"

I apologise if I sound a little cynical and angry, but to me, the destruction of the family is a great sin. A disease that is slowly infecting all levels of society, regardless of Culture, Religion or Race.
I believe that the basic foundations of humanity are Love and Family. Without these things in our lives how can humanity survive?

Allah (swt) has given the whole of humanity the building blocks upon which to build a successful society.
It is up to us, as his children, to ensure that a firm foundation is found to place them.


إبراهيم عبدالله".

 

[UmmOf3]

Salaam aleikum

Divorce is permitted in islam, as a last resort... Did she become so smart, that the last resort was to divorce? Allahu alim. We should be carefull so we dont do gheebah also.

I would rather think of it before marriage, that I would marry someone of my own educational level, if that was important for me.

I did not, not this time (I am divorced, alhamdulillah), but it does not matter, since we are on the same level of intelect, so to say. I think it would be an issue, if he was way uneducated,actually, because I like to talk...

 

[Wulf]

:salam2:

How does one measure intellect? Is it the lack of knowledge or the innability to grasp certain aspects of learning?

I am ignorant of many aspects of Islam, this I admit.
If I were to meet a Woman who was conversant with all of the aspects of islam, could recite, from memory, chapter and verse the whole of the Holy Qur'an. Would she ignore me because of my "lack of Intellect" in these matters or, with Love, help me to learn?

Based on the subject's reasons for requesting a divorce I have to ask myself this question.

While studying Historiography at University I learnt that. "No single cause can be atributed to a single event, each single event is the culmination of many causes."

So I wonder if the excuse given was in fact the only reason.



إبراهيم عبدالله".

 

[UmmOf3]

Salaam aleikum

People are different. What I would see as sufficient intelect, might not be so for another person... see? I am the kind of person who rather help, than ignore, but maybe someone would rather ignore, than help? I think, most women would rather help than ignore, since it is in our nature to be "mothers".

 

[the only truth]

salaamz

cant beliv people...muslim people have sinked sooo low subhanallah even after having several children....did she not fink that they wud need their dad...

neway fanx 4 posting...

Wassalam.

 

[MubarekMuslimah]

"Among lawful things, divorce is most disliked by Allah" (narrated in the book of tradition of Abu Daud).

Divorce should not be entered into lightly - just like marriage. It is allowed but should be a last resort insha'allah.

wasalaams

 

[mutaqoon]

I guess we would never know the real circumstances and reasons why this saudi lady wanted divorce. Allahu alam, but still if this was the real reason, this would be as ridiculous as it could possibly get!

This story reminded me of a story that was sent to me once a while back. Apparently we have all kinds of people!!!

http://muslimindians.blogspot.com/2007/06/from-slum-to-infosys-story-of-fatima.html

The wife of a poor pani puri vendor has become a software engineer in Infosys, thanks to her husband’s support. Sheik Salar, 26, a street hawker, used every rupee he earned to help his wife Fatima Bibi Sheik, 21, achieve her academic ambitions. And it was not in vain. Fatima completed her course at Gayatri Vidya Parishad College of Engineering with high marks and was given a plum posting by the software giant in a campus selection.

In fact, she is the first student from the college to get into Infosys. Fatima and Salar stay in a slum at Rajendranagar. While Fatima went to college, Salar roamed around the city with a pushcart selling puffed rice, corn, chilli bhajjis and pani puri, earning Rs 150 per day. When she was married off to her distant relation Salar by her parents in 2001, Fatima was just 15 and felt that she would never achieve her dream of being a software engineer.


“I did not want to marry since I wanted to study further and achieve something,” she said. She was crestfallen since Salar merely nodded when she told him about her dreams. But his nod meant a lot and he started savingmoney to help her study. By living frugally, Salar somehow got together Rs 60,000 to pay Fatima’s fee for the first and second year of her engineering course.

The Andhra Pradesh State Minorities Finance Corporation helped the couple pay the rest of the fee. “At the time of our marriage I was not sure how serious Fatima was about her studies,” said Salar. “But when I realised that she got 536 marks in her SSC exams and stood first in her school, I decided to help her study.” The pani puri vendor was adamant that her future should not get spoilt because she married him.

A junior college in the city provided her free intermediate education. She secured a decent rank in the Eamcet exam and opted to join the electronics and electrical engineering branch in college. “We decided not to have kids till she got a good job,” said Salar. “For this, I took much criticism from my parents.” Fatima’s eyes moisten when she talks about her husband. “You can’t imagine the hardships he suffered to help me,” she said. “In the last six years, he was my strength. He sacrificed all his joys for me.”

“Fatima was always first in our class,” said Asha Kanthi, her classmate. “We did not know her story then. Now she is our inspiration.” Though happy at the turn of events, the couple is a bit sad when thinking about their being apart for three months, when Fatima would go to the Infosys campus in Mysore for training. Have they ever quarrelled? “When we have issues, we sit together and discuss and sort it out,” said Fatima. She plans to take her husband along with her when she gets her posting. Salar too is proud, for he has proved that behind every successful woman there is a man.

 

[dna1987]

The story might not necessarily tell the entire story.

Yes, she might be asking for a divorce because she has a higher degree - but it could be that her husband is treating her very badly for it. I don't think many people divorce their partners because one has a better degree than the other.
I wouldn't mind if my wife is a professor.

Salam alaikum.

 

[kayleigh]

IF the real reason for the divorce is education, I guess I just don't understand why she would have married him in the first place? She would have had full knowledge of how uneducated he was, and she would have obviously known they wouldn't be a good match for it.

But like others have said, there's probably more to this story than what meets the eye.

 

[q8penpals]

1. they are always in competition with other women ,and buy tons of shoes of clothes and cosmetics until it becomes literally a sickness

2.they have to be skiny,and look good all the time and achive a high position in order to get the esteem and approval of the society

3.they sacrifice the time that needs to be spent with their children being all day at work especially at the early ages when the baby needs his mom the most.the result of tha is that the relationship between mother and child is becoming more and more problematic in the west a diffesciency in communication takes place psychologistes getting richer and richer because mother don`t know any more how to to educate their children

4. XXL generation is growing up in the west that`s beyond immagination there is ahuge rate of children growing up too fat with heart diseases and lower life expectation and that`s due to them missing of having proper and healthy meals the parents come´back from work around six both tired from work bring prepared meals from the super market or just simply ordring pizzas!!! and then they have to choose if they spend more time with their children or with each other which is also important!!!

5. the next day the woman goes to the movies watches a love story for 2 hours and realises that it doesn`t resemble her life at all she becomes unsatisfied she starts feeling old and undisired and stars hunting for casanovas everywhere.ahuzubillahi

6.the next weeks the divorce takes place ,she is feeling young again until the next deseption !!! one of the parents starts to see his children once in a blue moon!!!

7. but the problem after all this is the the capitalist system that she cherishes so much is now teeling her to produce other childred or consumers in a more crude manner to produce the next generation that would feed the system!!! because otherwise they have to relaxe their emmigration policies and some are not going to like it!and these "some"
are the ones who give the majority votes!!! a night mare for polititians !!!!!
.

Salam

Unfortunately, I could say the exact same post about the countries of the Middle East. Except #3 - many Kuwaiti women are not raising their own children, but not because of work, but because it is beneath them to change diapers, feed babies, bathe children - that is what they pay a "nanny" from poor Asia to do.

Kuwait is officially the fattest Gulf country (and percentage-wise is closing in on BRitain, who I last heard is 2nd to the US) - the divorce rate in Kuwait was reported during Ramadan to be 53%.

And while some of these things started in the West (Egypt has been making "soap operas" for as long as the US), one cannot completely blame the west. This happens all the time - Oh, our poor Muslims are being taken over by the western thoughts and problems!! But that is not true!! EVERY individual makes choices. I lived in the US and was not a Muslim and NEVER wore a bikini, NEVER got drunk, NEVER did drugs, was NOT promiscuous, NEVER wore tight and super-revealing clothes - and neither did the friends that I chose to keep. I made CHOICES - all Muslims everywhere are responsible for their OWN choices. Quit playing the blame game. The Amish live in the US without even electricty and they have lived that way for 200 years without being "corrupted" - are they stronger in their own faith than Muslims in America? If so, then it is not the influences to blame, but the people who cannot use self-control to do what is right.

Maybe Muslims in America need to get out of the big, impersonal cities, and move to the warm and inviting midwest US, where people pride themselves on being open to all and accepting of modest, moderate lifestyles.

Humbly

Lana