A Thoughtful Article By A Sister For The Parents In America

[omahmed]

Assalamu Aleikum Aapa,

Please calm down. People will always have differing viewpoints on any discussion such as this due to their own experiences. This is a forum and we should respect everyone's contribution. There is no "right and wrong" in this case - there are opinions, and they may differ. Members of this forum each have their own life experiences and opinions, and we should respect their input. Yes, Islam is universal, but the letter was this girl's opinion on what she experienced - neither you, nor Kayleigh, nor Jen, nor anyone should take this so personally, in my opinion. Disagreements are a part of life, it's how we deal with them that makes the difference.

Salaam

 

[JenGiove]

Salam Sister Omahmed,

It is unfortunate that you have only been here for such a short time.

You have not seen all the threads recently that have nothing to do with Islam except for people who are Muslim saying how evil my country is and in ONE post, about the withdrawal of troops, I actually saw (possibly as someone's signature, I don't recall) them asking the US to drop a few bombs on Israel on their Kafir way out!

You have no idea the attitudes I have faced simply because I am not a Muslim, I'm not looking to become a revert, and I live in the "Zionist controlled, media deceived, satan loving, idol worshiping, baby killing, Muslim hating" country that is called America. I have been called Kaafir, PUBLICLY and dismissed simply because of that inaccurate belief. While the Arab world may say the word Kafir and be only referring to people who have not said shahada and became Muslim, *I* took it harshly and as an insult of the highest order!! I have not received any sort of apology from this person and no answer to the question as to which Kafir this person thought I was.

I'm 38 years old and yet, because of the fact that I am not a Muslim, I am treated as a nothing by a majority of the people here.

It is a shame you have not been here that long.

You would understand the outrage I feel that I have to daily keep in check. I know I have failed here, and for that, I am sorry. I do not mean to loose my control but please understand, I have never, ever said one thing negative about Islam or ANY of the practices that I've learned about. Most of the concepts are very much like my own Native American Indian teachings, but because *I'M* not a Muslim, my thoughts and opinions have been routinely scoffed at and I have been told over and over that I am blind to the truth.

How much do I have to quietly listen to before I'm allowed to shout?

When I post links that originate from my country, they are dismissed as biased. When others post links that originate from their country, they are applauded as honest journalism.

I have found some wonderful people here and I have learned so much from them and from taking an honest look at what the world's view is and at what is the truth, as is found in the Qur'an.

When I can watch a documentary on a network that is supposed to be about unbiased, scientific anthropological documentation and pick out all the errors and be disgusted by the attitude, what does that say about my eyes? When the formation of Arabic words flows over my tongue with the same ease as English, having never taken a lesson, what does that say about my ears? When I can stand with my brother's and sister's when someone comes in trying to pick a fight while being disguised in the cloak of peace, what does that say about my heart?

When I read a piece of trash as what was written above, am I not allowed to speak up? Change the words. What if it was a christian who had written it about the "evil ways" she saw in a "Christian-kafir" country? Would you not be outraged?

I say to all of you who read these words, do not judge my reactions as being out of line or misunderstanding something, not unless you can honestly say that you have never, and will never react to something in the same manner.

"He who is without sin cast the first stone"-Jesus.

I am the only non-muslim here, that I know of, who stays not to learn how she can revert, but for the simple joy of learning.

 

[kayleigh]

Jen, I don't pay too much attention to this place but I thought people were treating you pretty nicely here? Or do you mean Muslims treat you badly in the real world? Neither would surprise me. I, for one, don't care if you're Muslim or a Jew/Christian/Buddhist/atheist/flying purple people eater/whatever - it has absolutely zero impact on how I treat someone.

If you're an american revert (or even an american non-Muslim dealing with Muslims) you have to develop a very thick skin. There's tons of stereotypes about us, and people just love to use every opportunity to bash the US. Yeah, there are lots of things wrong with the US. You could write books on how backwards it is. You could also write books on how backwards things are in Pakistan, or Saudi arabia, or whatever other country you want. Every country and every culture has its problems. So why do some Muslims love to pick on the US? I think it's rather childish for people to think one culture is superior to another, or one country is superior. Maybe it makes them feel better about themselves, or maybe they have nothing better to do. I don't know, because I never take anything they say seriously, and neither should you.

There are legitimate ways to criticize a country, but most of these people have yet to learn how to do that. So until they do, just let it go in one ear and right out the other.

and omahmed - you're right about one thing. We shouldn't take this personally. When you are confronted with ignorance it is best to just ignore it. It makes you life much less stressful.

 

[Aapa]

Salaam,

I am not emotional..don't have time.

I do respect and am very humble by nature. It is a gift.

Now. Son,

You have 40 something posts. I have a few more. I am writing to help members understand when you write a post that is laden with misinformation and conclusions are skewed you will be questioned.
That is the nature of Islam.
Of what purpose did the post serve. It did not enlighten..it did not educate.

We have to release the internal anger that was interwoven throughout the article. Hey, for me and many others it ain't any late breaking news. We know the reality of life in the US. Why throw dirt in the face of Muslims who are American. We have enough issues to deal with.

My question thus becomes what are you as a Muslim doing to ameliorate the dire conditions that face most Americans. And as the old saying goes if you are not part of the solution you are part of the problem.

And I ask the Muslim sisters who are educated why are you so passive. The Mothers of the Believers were not passive women. They were leaders.

 

[omahmed]

Aaapa, Kayleigh and Jen,

Firstly, I'm not a brother - and definitely not your son, young lady
I'm 44, was born in Egypt, brought up in Australia, lived in the US for a few years and am now in the UAE.
I'm married, have 2 children, and work as a physician.
I know I haven't been here long and have not seen any articles where your views are dismissed abruptly, Jen - but I apologise if that's happened. Even if for some reason there were facts or evidence contrary to what you presented, there are civil ways of disagreeing or even arguing about something. I apologise if someone has offended you or been rude and dismissive of you, or any of you. Our behaviour as Muslims should be so good that people stop and say, "Who was that extraordinarily well-behaved person I just met? How does he live his life?" But we all know that, although Muslims believe the Quran is perfect, we also know for a fact that we, as Muslims, are imperfect, because we're human, and there's lots of room for improvement, and that's called the jihad of the self. People also get emotional - just as you and Aapa and Kayleigh have done as well. I get emotional when I see the horrors being inflicted on Muslims by the US troops - but so do a lot of American non Muslims as well. I get emotional when I hear of another atrocity done by Israel towards my brother and sister Palestinians - and so do quite a few non Muslim people as well. I think the US is targeted a lot because, without it, we would have seen a greater degree of fairness in the world, all these vetoes and billions in military support to Israel is, indirectly and directly, helping kill more and more Muslims in the world, unchecked. It's been going on for years - you should read a great book: The Great War for Civilisation, by Robert Fisk. I read it and understood what my father had been talking about all those years when he told me he didn't like the US, and I would defend it. Lastly, this is a forum, and forums are for venting - I've been on forums where I've been called some pretty anatomically descriptive words for defending Islam or Muslims. Take Kayleigh's advice - develop a thick skin for both here and the real world (I need instructions, Kayleigh, cause at 44 I have't perfected it yet!) I expect this forum to be at a much higher level of civility than the ones I was describing - and hopefully the majority of the time it is, I've found till now. The above letter was her opinion! That's it. A slice of life in the US as SHE sees it - generalisation doesn't work for anything, and we all realise that. Take it easy - I'm shivering in my boots waiting for her next letter describing the corruption in Egypt!!

Take care, and Salaam

 

[MohammedMaksudul]

:salam2:

Nice post, !

 

[Munawar]

Jen, I don't pay too much attention to this place but I thought people were treating you pretty nicely here? Or do you mean Muslims treat you badly in the real world? Neither would surprise me. I, for one, don't care if you're Muslim or a Jew/Christian/Buddhist/atheist/flying purple people eater/whatever - it has absolutely zero impact on how I treat someone.

If you're an american revert (or even an american non-Muslim dealing with Muslims) you have to develop a very thick skin. There's tons of stereotypes about us, and people just love to use every opportunity to bash the US. Yeah, there are lots of things wrong with the US. You could write books on how backwards it is. You could also write books on how backwards things are in Pakistan, or Saudi arabia, or whatever other country you want. Every country and every culture has its problems. So why do some Muslims love to pick on the US? I think it's rather childish for people to think one culture is superior to another, or one country is superior. Maybe it makes them feel better about themselves, or maybe they have nothing better to do. I don't know, because I never take anything they say seriously, and neither should you.

There are legitimate ways to criticize a country, but most of these people have yet to learn how to do that. So until they do, just let it go in one ear and right out the other.

and omahmed - you're right about one thing. We shouldn't take this personally. When you are confronted with ignorance it is best to just ignore it. It makes you life much less stressful.

:salam2:
Sister you are absolutely correct in what you have written.
You have to understand one thing that this is a global village and people from all over the world post here.
They all have their own opinion and since most of the Muslims around the world have developed anti-American sentiment (due to the policies of American government) so their remarks are harsh and one sided.

Frankly today America is much better place for Muslims to live than Egypt. In Egypt if you are a young man and you start having beard and you go to Masjid regularly, then their police will pay you a visit, and if you do not change then you may disappear. Can anything be more worse.

People attack America because America is a big power who have medled in nearly every Muslim country affairs. Assasinated many many people in Muslim countries directly or indirectly. Buy and sell and install bad rulers in these countries, and now actively and militarily involved in several Muslim countries causing enormous death and destruction.

My kids have Friday prayers in Middle school and High school with the permission of school administration. MSA is allowed to do many Islamic activities in school and colleges. And the people of America are still very nice and friendly to Muslims despite the venom and hatered which is spewed in the media about the Muslims. Sometimes it even amazes me.

 

[Aapa]

Salaam,

I do apologize for the mistake in gender.

When an outsider looks in they can have no clue of what an insider sees.
The spirit of Islam was not present in the original post. That is what I have been alluding to the lack of a universal perspective.

If you take the time to read my posts there has always been an underlying appeal for Muslims in the US to be more active within the communities wherein they live and work. I do not see this. In each community I have resided I have been extremely active. And I am the first Muslim most people have encountered. Real to the touch, in living color, and 100% human. This includes many large metropolitan areas.

I am simply stressing we have to engage in our world. Sitting back in the comfort of home and addressing the ills of a nations is nothing but banter.

Our youth can choose to be active members of the larger society and make a difference on a local level. Our masjids can open soup kitchens, even if only on jumma. Our sisters can open closets to hand out clothing to the poor.
In short, I am suggesting it is simple to act as a Muslim and do good deeds, for the love of a greater purpose.

And as a parent in America..I am a proud mother. It is simple. I take the time to educate my sons to make good choices. It does not matter what is out there..there is and always will be something out there..it matters that they take the time to analyze what they need to do to be better human beings given that the demands on them are more stringent as they are Muslims.

 

[kayleigh]

My kids have Friday prayers in Middle school and High school with the permission of school administration. MSA is allowed to do many Islamic activities in school and colleges. And the people of America are still very nice and friendly to Muslims despite the venom and hatered which is spewed in the media about the Muslims. Sometimes it even amazes me.

This is what I don't understand about the prayer in school topic that she brings up in the article. Prayer is NOT outlawed in school, but compulsory prayer is, which is actually the best for everyone involved - would you want your Muslim children forced to pray Christian prayers to a Christian idea of God? Probably not. So I don't see what the big deal about that is.

The most redeeming thing about the US, in my opinion, is that while there may be some biggots, religious freedom is still legally protected and always will be. Someone might call you nasty names for wearing hijab but the government will never actually stop you from doing almost anything you want. The same cannot be said for some European countries, or even some "Muslim" countries.

 

[IHearIslam]

assalaamu alaikum,

I usually do not like to comment on threads like this......I even have not read (I'll admit) the whole article. I feel like this kind of threads are prejudice and discriminative and are no benefit to us all. Look....instead of benefiting from one another we're arguing and try to prove each other wrong. All of us are opinionated, we're all from different walks of life and we all have our reasons to "dislike" something or to "like" something, but what you like maybe something someone else dislikes?? I hope I make sense....my point is, with thread like this.....we'll never agree on anything! in fact some of us might have their feelings hurt! subhana'Allaah, which is worse than hurting another Muslim while trying to prove yourself right?? subhana'Allaah!

by writing this, I am in no way trying to offend any of my beloved sisters and brothers, however, I am just trying to remind all of us to stay away from nonsensical arguments which lead to no where insha'Allaah.
I leave you with this::

al-Hasan (al-Basree) said:

((The wise man does not argue or seek to overcome with stratagem rather he propagates his wisdom. If it is accepted he praises Allaah and if it is rejected he praises Allaah)).

Reported by Abu Nu`aim ibn Hammaad in his Zawaa'id `alaz-Zuhd libnil Mubaarak (no. 30) and Ibn Battah in Ibaanatul-Kubraa (no. 611)

I praise and thank Allaah for the blessings He has bestowed upon us all.

Alhamdulillaah

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

Sister, I am not arguing with anyone. What is occurring is that different perspectives are being presented. We are able to read how we need to be careful when we make generalizations. Some have agreed with the original post and others have made it evident that there was a bias. We addressed the bias.
We must be able to exercise freedom of speech. We are all agreed this is not the subject of scholars. A scholar would not touch this subject. As an American Muslim I have a right to defend what I construe to be a one-sided and unfair attack of choosing where I wish to raise my children.
I have often written, given my circumstances, there is not one Muslim country which would afford me the right to earn an honest and halal living and betyabygollywow the USA does. I can be an independent woman and practice my faith..with financial stability. Thus, I can raise my children to be honest and noble Muslims.

 

[Um Ibrahim]

Salaam

Jazakalaah kheyr for sharing the article...really liked it a lot and enjoyed reading it. Maybe some people were not happy with how it was written or something, but I thought most of the things mentioned in the article were true! Yes every country in the world has it's problems and corruptions, but it is really hard for Muslims, especially the youth who go to schools and colleges in the U.S. to stay save from the many different things that go against Islam that go on in these schools and colleges. Most workplaces, colleges and schools in the U.S. are just not a good environment for Muslims. A Muslim must be extra careful about some things for example...drinking, dating, mixing with the opposite sex..etc when in the U.S. then let's say if he/she was in Saudi Arabia.

Also, what she discussed regarding homosexuals and atheists is true. In Muslim countries, atheists, gays/lesbians and so many other confused people are hard to find and even if there are any, then they are not proud and all open about it like here in the U.S. and every time i come across some of these people, who are filled with arrogance and ignorance...I wish I could move away and never come back...but unfortunately, i'm stuck for now.

 

[Munawar]

:salam2:

I tell you a true story of mine. It was end of December of 1990, I was in Pakistan to attened my brother's wedding. In the market place I saw many vendors selling Saddam Husain's pictures. These vendors are very smart, they wanted to cash the general feeling that Saddam is bravely standing up against the giant... America. When I asked the price of a Saddam's picture (about 6x8 inch size) my sister said "Why ... are you going to take it to America? They will arrest you at the airport." I don't know why but I said "I don't think so.. not only that I can take it to America but I can also put it in my office and nothing will happen to me.". My sister didn't believe me, so I bought that picture, brought it here in US, and pinned it right in my office, and it stayed there all during the air war and during the land war. Nobody said anything to me. I took it off after war ended, after nearly 2 months. I then told my colleagues that this was a test which they passed. I did that because I had faith in America and its people that they are fair and open-minded people.

But I do feel that I might not have done the same thing today. Somehow Americans have changed since 1990, maybe because of cold war they were different then. But still American people are the best. As in every population there are some biggots and some hate mongers, so we have a fair share of those, but so far honestly I have no complaints against the American people in general.

The problem is the government policies. Here I would blame the American people that they have handed over the steering wheel into the hands of FreeMason, Illuminati, Zionists Lucifarions who some call "Elites". These Elites with the help of Zionists controlled media are taking this country and the world towards destruction. It is obvious that the American people have been taken for a ride. Sometime I think they are in worst situation than we Muslim are. These Elites have outsourced nearly all good jobs specially manufacturing jobs out of United States. This has made Americans poor and jobless, plus they have made them run after big HD TVs, naked women, alcohol, sex, etc etc. Soon the Dollar is going to fall because it is loaded with debt and derivatives, what will happen to America then... who knows. I just hope and pray that this doesn't happen.

But I see no sign that New World Order is postponed or cancelled. The daily fake allerts and hate campaign against Islam tells me that it is on schedule. NWO is coming and coming fast. That is why I feel so bad about a nation which has given so much to the world. Medicine we use daily to keep us healthy, cars which take us whereever we want and with comfort, airplanes which carry us around the world, TV to see instantly what is happening around the world, the internet where TTI resides etc. This nation is being hijacked by those who worship Lord Lucifer and the people don't even know about it. This is really sad.

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

and in the words of a great American....I second that emotion.

 

[Nayyararsi]

PLEASE MODERATORS CLOSE THIS THREAD ITS THE MOST DISGUSTING THREAD I HAVE EVER SEEN AND ITS GOING NOWHERE.EVERYONE IS POSTING ANYTHING HE OR SHE LIKES.......

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

There is nothing disgusting about the tread. If you find it disgusting be so kind as to be specific. I replied earlier that we need to exercise freedom of speech. The Prophet always allowed people to speak. Thus by conversation/dialogue we could learn and improve.
Yes, many have posted opinions, including the original post, but this is Islamic discussion. What we have are American Muslims explaining to others that life in the US for us is good as this is our home. We do not have anywhere else to call home. Simultaneously, we are expressing that it can be difficult for some who reverted because they are treated harshly by non-American Muslims.
To ask and have the thread closed falls into a category which is dangerous and one I fight against. We can not fall prey into if I do not like this it is bad.
Islam is not bound by nationality nor race. And we need others to understand America has its good and bad, but it is home sweet home to us. Finally, we are trying our best to make it easier for others to be able to practice their faith here, whatever it is.

 

[Nayyararsi]

Assalaam walaikum,

There is nothing disgusting about the tread. If you find it disgusting be so kind as to be specific. I replied earlier that we need to exercise freedom of speech. The Prophet always allowed people to speak. Thus by conversation/dialogue we could learn and improve.
Yes, many have posted opinions, including the original post, but this is Islamic discussion. What we have are American Muslims explaining to others that life in the US for us is good as this is our home. We do not have anywhere else to call home. Simultaneously, we are expressing that it can be difficult for some who reverted because they are treated harshly by non-American Muslims.
To ask and have the thread closed falls into a category which is dangerous and one I fight against. We can not fall prey into if I do not like this it is bad.
Islam is not bound by nationality nor race. And we need others to understand America has its good and bad, but it is home sweet home to us. Finally, we are trying our best to make it easier for others to be able to practice their faith here, whatever it is.

I am not talking about the content of the thread i was just referring to the way the members were arguing with each other in a childish manner that was disgusting and since the discussion was going nowhere i suggested it should be closed....

 

[JenGiove]

I am not talking about the content of the thread i was just referring to the way the members were arguing with each other in a childish manner that was disgusting and since the discussion was going nowhere i suggested it should be closed....

Is it going nowhere? I don't think so. As an American non-Muslim, I've found threads on here that have turned FAR worse than this. In fact, THIS thread seems to not only be a gentle discussion about opposing views, but I actually look forward to reading them....verses feeling like I need to hide behind the Niqab of invisibility.

Yes, there are many many views here, but it also hasn't turned "hostile" or backbiting.

Moderators, please keep this thread open.

 

[ShahnazZ]

Well I personally think that Zeba Khan is sharing her opinion of her birthcountry and I believe that everyone has the right to express their opinion, good and bad. I'm actually thinking about anti-Islamists who are professing their hatred for Islam left and right when I say this. Do I like it? NOPE. But do they have a right to do it. Unfortunately YES. And if we have to force ourselves to choke down their opinions keeping in mind that it's their right, then others should choke down our opinions because we have the exact same right.

Is she correct on her views? Not completely. There are some things she says that I absolutely agree with and there are others that I believe should be disputed. But in the end I see it as HER experience and HER opinion and nothing more. And I'm just as American as anyone else. I was born here, raised here, and still live here. And I acknowledge her right to have her own opinion. Whether it's right or wrong is a different matter but it's not my place to label it as either. Her words aren't set in stone and they're not God's Word so the level of importance one ascribes to them is really their own doing. It can easily be dismissed as trivial and not worth reading or it can be taken as Gospel and applied to one's own daily routine.

Either way, it's an article amongst articles that are both controversial and wrong as well as informative and good. I could care less how it's taken since she doesn't speak for me.

Nayyararsi, take a deep breath akhi. They're just opinions that's all. The entire thread is just opinions. There are no facts because facts require daleel and no one's giving a fatwa. Yes I agree the discussion could have been a little less emotional but in the end it's just opinions being discussed and the thread needs to go a long way before fulfilling the criteria of being closed.

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

I think this is yet another instance of the meeting of many cultures. In reflecting most of the comments made about being emotional were directed towards me. I was not emotional whatsoever in an exclusively American setting. The article by Ms.Khan was the epitome of emotional wax poetica.

I was direct in my responses and the calm down you are emotional started to pop up in the responses. I found that to be funny

Muslims have a hard time accepting American Muslim women. We can take it but we can dish it out,too. And that is simply what I did. I questioned the myopic and simplistic article by a person who was disgruntled. In simple words..you are dishing out some heavy stuff now can you take the heat for what you wrote.

And the only answers I received directly were I was being emotional. No, I questioned the motives of an article written by a emotional woman.


Relax people..its jumma and I'm going to the beach to reflect on the beauty of Creator. He made, yet , another day made in heaven. Funny thing ...it's right here in the good old USA. Now how about that. Peaceful, peaceful, peaceful peace.