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Asslamo Allaikum,
Islamic Tarbiyah for both Parents and Children!
Asslamo Allaikum,
Islamic Tarbiyah for both Parents and Children!
Asalam alaikum warahmatullah everyone
I saw 3-4 girls this morning in one of our 'back' roads coming back from dropping my son off at nursery. They were busy rearranging their 'hijabs' more appropriately their head coverings since hijab isnt about covering the hair only.
Most probably left home with proper headscarf and when they met they were helping each other ut it on the right way.
They dont seem to care who sees them as long it isnt one of their family members. They wouldnt get out of my way so I had to go round them which meant me going onto the road because they were busy on the pavement.
One of them said 'your bra' is showing and they started laughing. So sad. Some of us leave all this Jahiliya to come to something that makes sense thanks to Allah but there are some who admire the filth we are coming from. I guess guidance is from Allah and if Allah wills good for a person he will give that person understanding of the deen.
With what I Have experienced I would not bother giving these girls dawah at the moment their doing this. Dawah has its time and place and most probably they will not listen as with past experience with a sis at Uni I tried to 'tell' to put her hijab on she was ok alhamdulillah and she was sort of listening and one day she said to me out of all my friends you are the only one trying to make me wear hijab. I said I am not trying to make you do anything, I am just trying to make you understand. She was also going on about how she will be viewed as weird in her family because her mum and sisters didnt wear it. I said non in my family wear it either so it shouldn't be an issue. I tried to tell her about the punishment of not wearing hijab about the importance etc and she said she already knows but just wasn't ready
Another sis knows as well the importance, the punishment but doesnt think it is important at all. Her mom doesnt wear hijab either and many family members. These Asians they think Islam is a culture and for some reason feel they dont have to work for paradise but somehow already guaranteed. Her mom the other day said to me when you come to the wedding please wear something pretty, Lol... meaning i shouldnt wear my dull coloured jilbabs and hijabs but be as bright and colourful as a 'christmas' tree, but some sari or shawal khamis( whatever its called.
I have been invited to my second Asian wedding, I am sure I will stand out like a sore thumb, first of all being black and covered from head to toe, when everyone is hijabless and colourful with music and free mixing as well probably. When I insisted we sit in the other lounge the last time I went to their house, this sisters mom said you are behaving like the Pakistanis now, they always eat separately, meaning the men and the women and how she cant stand it. They are from India.
Anyway I believe the majority of these Asian girls know what they are doing and choose to behave or act as they do. They shouldnt use the excuse of parents it is up to them now to find out about Islam and help their in most cases uneducated parents to follow proper Quran and sunnah and educate them like some sisters do its not easy but at least try and if it doesnt work just do it out of fear of Allah and behave yourselves and fear Allah more than your parents.
Inshallah brothers who keep themselves to get married to sincere sisters will meet sincere sisters, those who are willing to please Allah and not those who are glad they did what they did and do not repent but probably regret getting married and then causing brothers grief. In some cases they turn feminists in the marriage as well. Those girls who wear niqab as well by day and take it off at night probably do not want to be recognised by their party mates during the day when they are with their parents and families. Imagine someone saying how stoned you were last night or what mischief you were into when they recognise you in the streets, therefore the niqab becomes necessary for them and unfortunately it does happen.
So for those who think the sister in Niqab is the most pious then think again. Instead of judging a sister by dress rather make isthikar and leave everything in Allahs hands. Maybe a sister without Niqab will bring you more happiness inshallah and might even be more pious and help towards deen.
I dont think these two faced sisters really deserve our duas and Allah knows best. There are plenty more brothers and sisters being raped, murdered and tortured etc who deserve this rather than those who choose to put themselves into situations they shouldnt be in. You cant make dua for someone not to go to a night club for example I think that is just a waste of dua. Those people have free choice like everyone.
is i found Islam, and saw it as an opportunity to get out of all that crap.
nasty girls, ignorance, lying and the whole bit.
Question:
I am suffering deep torment because of a sin that I committed in the past, and I do not know how to rid myself of it. My life has been turned into hell because of this thing.
Five years ago I was living in a religious vacuum, and I was far away from Allaah. I have a cousin who was the only friend I had in the whole world. One day the Shaytaan tricked me, and I told my cousin that I had an illicit relationship with some girls, but in fact I had no relationship at all with them.
I do not know the punishment for this sin.
Unfortunately I thought that manhood meant having relationships with women as many young men think nowadays.
No one knows about this and news of it did not reach those women.
In Ramadaan last year I repented to Allaah. I had a relationship with some women by phone and internet, so I told them that I had repented and severed my ties with them.
I felt the sweetness of faith that I had never felt before.
But I still remember the sin that I committed several years ago. It has to do with people’s honour. I prayed istikhaarah and thought about it a great deal, and I am still hesitant. Should I tell my friend that I lied to him so as to prove to him that these women are innocent of what I said about them, in which case I will lose my only friend when he sees that I lied to him? Or should I keep quiet and not say anything, but I fear Allaah’s punishment for this sin, so what should I do?.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
We ask Allaah to forgive your sin and to conceal your fault, and to help you avoid temptations both obvious and hidden. With regard to your question, it can be answered in the following points:
1 – It seems from your question that the one whom you accused of committing forbidden actions is a specific woman whom you and your cousin know. If it is a specific, known, woman, then this is slander by you against her, which is a major sin and an abhorrent forbidden action, because it is a slander against her honour and a transgression of the limits set by Allaah. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, as was narrated by Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him): “Avoid the seven sins that doom one to Hell.” They said: “O Messenger of Allaah, what are they?” He said: “Associating others with Allaah (shirk), witchcraft, killing a soul whom Allaah has forbidden us to kill, except when it is lawful, consuming riba, consuming the orphan’s wealth, running away from the battlefield, and slandering chaste believing women who never even think of anything touching their chastity (cf. al-Noor 24:23).” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, no. 2615; Muslim, 89.
As well as slandering that woman, you are also saying that you yourself committed zina, even if you are lying.
But if it is not a specific women, for example you said, “I did such and such with a woman,” and did not refer to a specific woman, then this is not regarded as slandering anyone, but you are still saying that you committed zina for which a hadd punishment is deserved, so you have to clear your own name.
It says in Badaa’i’ al-Sanaa’i’: If a person says, “I committed zina with a woman, but I do not know who she was,”, his confession is valid and he should be punished. Badaa’i’ al-Sanaa’i’, 7/51
2 – If it is a specific woman, but you have repented and regret what you did, part of your repentance is to tell others that you were lying, so you have to tell your cousin that you were not telling the truth, because you have to clear the name of that chaste woman. It is not permissible for you to give precedence to the friendship with your cousin by slandering the honour of a Muslim woman.
Ibn Qudaamah said in al-Mughni:
The apparent meaning of Ahmad’s words is that the repentance of the slanderer is to state that he was lying. So he should say, “I was lying when I said that.” This is the view of al-Shaafa’i. Ibn ‘Abd al-Barr said: Those who said that also include Sa’eed ibn al-Musayyib, ‘Ata’, Tawoos, al-Shu’bi, Ishaaq, Abu ‘Ubayd and Abu Thawr.
‘Abd al-Razzaaq narrated in al-Musannaf (5/77) that Tawoos said: His repentance (i.e., the one who accused someone of zina) is to say that he was lying.
3 – You should note that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever seeks the pleasure of Allaah by angering people, Allaah will suffice him against people, but whoever seeks to please people by angering Allaah, Allaah will leave him to the people.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, no. 2414; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani.
This hadeeth indicates that what you fear of a bad relationship between you and your cousin is an insignificant matter. Whoever obeys Allaah and seeks to please Him, Allaah will suffice him against people. So you should care more about your relationship with your Lord than your relationship with your cousin. Remember that this is one of the trials with which Allaah tests you, so do what is right and put your trust in Allaah, and do not fear the blame of anyone. Pray a great deal for forgiveness, repent and make du’aa’ to Allaah, asking him to make you steadfast in speaking the truth, and to reconcile you and your cousin, for the hearts of men are between two of the fingers of the Most Merciful, and He turns them however He wills. And Allaah knows best.
Islam Q&A
You are the best nation produced [as an example] for mankind. You enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong and believe in Allah.
Permission [to fight] has been given to those who are being fought, because they were wronged. And indeed, Allah is competent to give them victory. [They are] those who have been evicted from their homes without right - only because they say, "Our Lord is Allah ." And were it not that Allah checks the people, some by means of others, there would have been demolished monasteries, churches, synagogues, and mosques in which the name of Allah is much mentioned [i.e., praised]. And Allah will surely support those who support Him [i.e., His cause]. Indeed, Allah is Powerful and Exalted in Might. [And they are] those who, if We give them authority in the land, establish prayer and give zakah and enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong. And to Allah belongs the outcome of [all] matters.
The believing men and believing women are allies of one another. They enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong and establish prayer and give zakah and obey Allah and His Messenger. Those - Allah will have mercy upon them. Indeed, Allah is Exalted in Might and Wise.
Cursed were those who disbelieved among the Children of Israel by the tongue of David and of Jesus, the son of Mary. That was because they disobeyed and [habitually] transgressed. They used not to prevent one another from wrongdoing that they did. How wretched was that which they were doing.
O my son, establish prayer, enjoin what is right, forbid what is wrong, and be patient over what befalls you. Indeed, [all] that is of the matters [requiring] determination.
Question:
Why do the Muslims consider enjoining what is good and forbidding what is evil to be one of the basic principles of their religion?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Man is very forgetful and makes a lot of mistakes. His own self (nafs) tells him to do evil and the Shaytaan tempts him to commit sin. When bodies get sick and are afflicted with disease, one has to find a doctor who can prescribe the appropriate medicine so that the body may be restored to full health. Similarly, souls and hearts may be afflicted with the diseases of desire and doubt, so people do things which Allaah has forbidden, such as shedding blood, committing adultery, drinking alcohol, oppressing people and consuming their wealth unlawfully, preventing people from following the way of Allaah and disbelieving in Allaah.
The diseases of the heart [psychological and spiritual diseases] are worse than diseases of the body. This means that one must find a doctor who is skilled in treating such diseases. Because the diseases of the heart are so many and cause the spread of evil and corruption, Allaah has enjoined the believers to treat these diseases, by enjoining that which is good and forbidding that which is evil. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Let there arise out of you a group of people inviting to all that is good (Islam), enjoining Al-Ma‘roof (i.e. Islamic Monotheism and all that Islam orders one to do) and forbidding Al-Munkar (polytheism and disbelief and all that Islam has forbidden). And it is they who are the successful” [Aal ‘Imraan 3:104]
Enjoining what is good (al-ma’roof) and forbidding what is evil (al-munkar) is one of the most important Islamic duties, indeed it is the noblest and most sublime. This is the task of the Prophets and Messengers (peace be upon them all), as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Messengers as bearers of good news as well as of warning in order that mankind should have no plea against Allaah after the (coming of) Messengers” [al-Nisaa’ 4:165]
Allaah has made the Muslim ummah the best nation ever raised up for mankind, in order to do this important task, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“You (true believers in Islamic Monotheism, and real followers of Prophet Muhammad and his Sunnah) are the best of peoples ever raised up for mankind; you enjoin Al-Ma‘roof (i.e. Islamic Monotheism and all that Islam has ordained) and forbid Al-Munkar (polytheism, disbelief and all that Islam has forbidden), and you believe in Allaah” [Aal ‘Imraan 3:110]
If the ummah fails to do its duty of enjoining what is good and forbidding what is evil, wrongdoing and corruption will spread throughout the ummah, and it will deserve the curse of Allaah. For Allaah cursed those among the Children of Israel who disbelieved because they failed in this important duty. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Those among the Children of Israel who disbelieved were cursed by the tongue of Dawood (David) and ‘Eesa (Jesus), son of Maryam (Mary). That was because they disobeyed (Allaah and the Messengers) and were ever transgressing beyond bounds.
They used not to forbid one another from Al-Munkar (wrong, evildoing, sins, polytheism, disbelief) which they committed. Vile indeed was what they used to do [al-Maa’idah 5:78]
Enjoining what is good and forbidding what is evil is one of the basic principles of this religion, and doing this is jihaad for the sake of Allaah. Jihaad requires putting up with difficulties and bearing insults and harm with patience, as Luqmaan said to his son:
“O my son! Aqim-is-Salaah (perform As-Salaah), enjoin (on people) Al-Ma‘roof (Islamic Monotheism and all that is good), and forbid (people) from Al-Munkar (i.e. disbelief in the Oneness of Allaah, polytheism of all kinds and all that is evil and bad), and bear with patience whatever befalls you. Verily, these are some of the important commandments (ordered by Allaah with no exemption” [Luqmaan 31:17 – interpretation of the meaning]
Enjoining what is good and forbidding what is evil is an important mission, hence those who undertake this mission must be of good character and must understand the objectives of sharee’ah; they must call people with wisdom and fair preaching and deal with them in a kind and gentle manner, so that Allaah may guide those whom He wills at their hands. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Invite (mankind, O Muhammad) to the way of your Lord (i.e. Islam) with wisdom (i.e. with the Divine Revelation and the Qur’aan) and fair preaching, and argue with them in a way that is better. Truly, your Lord knows best who has gone astray from His path, and He is the Best Aware of those who are guided” [al-Nahl 16:125]
The ummah which establishes the symbols of Islam, enjoins what is good and forbids what is evil, will attain happiness in this world and in the Hereafter. Allaah will send them His support and grant them victory, as He says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Verily, Allaah will help those who help His (Cause). Truly, Allaah is All-Strong, All-Mighty.
Those (Muslim rulers) who, if We give them power in the land, (they) enjoin Iqamaat-as-Salaah [i.e. to perform the five compulsory congregational Salaah (prayers) (the males in mosques)], to pay the Zakaah and they enjoin Al-Ma‘roof (i.e. Islamic Monotheism and all that Islam orders one to do), and forbid Al-Munkar (i.e. disbelief, polytheism and all that Islam has forbidden) [i.e. they make the Qur’aan as the law of their country in all the spheres of life]. And with Allaah rests the end of (all) matters (of creatures)” [al-Hajj 22:40-41]
Enjoining what is good and forbidding what is evil is a mission which will never end until the Hour begins. It is obligatory upon all the ummah, rulers and subjects, men and women, each according to his or her circumstances. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever among you sees an evil action, let him change it with his hand [by taking action]; and if he cannot, then with his tongue [by speaking out]; and if he cannot, then with his heart [by feeling that it is wrong] – and that is the weakest of faith.” (Narrated by Muslim, 49)
The Muslim ummah is one nation, and if corruption becomes widespread in it and its circumstances turn bad, then all the Muslims are obliged to reform it, rid it of evil things, enjoin what is good and forbid what is bad, and offer sincere advice to all. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
“Religion is sincerity.” We said, “To whom?” He said, “To Allaah and His Book, and His Messenger, and to the leaders of the Muslims and their common folk.” (Narrated by Muslim, 95).
If a Muslim is commanded to do something, he should be the quickest of people to do it, and if he is forbidden to do something, he must be the one who keeps furthest away from it. Allaah has issued a warning to those who go against that, as He says (interpretation of the meaning):
“O you who believe! Why do you say that which you do not do?
Most hateful it is with Allaah that you say that which you do not do” [al-Saff 61:2-3]
No matter how righteous a person may be, he still needs sincere advice, guidance and reminders in the light of the Qur’aan and Sunnah. Allaah said to the Messenger of the Lord of the Worlds, the most perfect of all creation (interpretation of the meaning):
“O Prophet (Muhammad)! Keep your duty to Allaah, and obey not the disbelievers and the hypocrites (i.e., do not follow their advice). Verily, Allaah is Ever All-Knower, All-Wise”
[al-Ahzaab 33:1]
So we must all enjoin that which is good and forbid that which is evil, so that we may attain the Pleasure of Allaah and His Paradise.
From Usool al-Deen al-Islami, by Shaykh Muhammad ibn Ibraaheem al-Tuwayjri
Question:
Can evil be changed with one’s hand (by taking action)? Who should change evil with his hand?.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Allaah has described the believers as denouncing evil and as enjoining what is good. He says (interpretation of the meaning):
“The believers, men and women, are Awliyaa’ (helpers, supporters, friends, protectors) of one another; they enjoin (on the people) Al‑Ma‘roof (i.e. Islamic Monotheism and all that Islam orders one to do), and forbid (people) from Al‑Munkar (i.e. polytheism and disbelief of all kinds, and all that Islam has forbidden)”
[al-Tawbah 9:71]
“Let there arise out of you a group of people inviting to all that is good (Islam), enjoining Al-Ma‘roof (i.e. Islamic Monotheism and all that Islam orders one to do) and forbidding Al-Munkar (polytheism and disbelief and all that Islam has forbidden)”
[Aal ‘Imraan 3:104]
“You (true believers in Islamic Monotheism, and real followers of Prophet Muhammad and his Sunnah) are the best of peoples ever raised up for mankind; you enjoin Al-Ma‘roof (i.e. Islamic Monotheism and all that Islam has ordained) and forbid Al‑Munkar (polytheism, disbelief and all that Islam has forbidden)”
[Aal ‘Imraan 3:110]
There are many verses which speak of enjoining what is good and forbidding what is evil; that is because of the importance of this issue and the great need that exists for it.
According to a saheeh hadeeth, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever among you sees an evil action, let him change it with his hand [by taking action]; if he cannot, then with his tongue [by speaking out]; and if he cannot, then with his heart [by at least hating it and believing that it is wrong], and that is the weakest of faith.” Narrated by Muslim in his Saheeh.
Changing evil by one's hand should be done by those who are able to do that, such as those in positions of authority and the bodies in charge of such matters in the areas over which they have been appointed, the ruler in the area over which he has been appointed, the judge in the area over which he has been appointed, and by a man in his own house with his children and the members of his household, as much as he can.
But if he is not able to do that, or if changing it with his hand will lead to fitnah (tribulation) and conflict, and cause more harm than good, then he should not change it with his hand, rather he should change it with his tongue, by speaking out. That will be sufficient lest changing it with his hand will lead to a worse evil that that which he is seeking to change. This was stated by the scholars.
In the case of changing evil with his tongue, it is sufficient for him to say, “O my brother, fear Allaah, this is not permitted, you should stop this, you should do such and such” and other good words spoken in a proper manner.
After the tongue comes the heart, i.e., hating the evil in one's heart, showing that one hates it, and not sitting with those who do it. All of these come under the heading of changing it with one's heart. And Allaah is the Source of strength.
From the fatwas of Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz, Majallat al-Buhooth al-Islamiyyah, 36/121-122.
One of the beautiful sayings attributed to Jesus, peace be upon him is "Let him who has no sin cast the first stone."
Salaam,
For the brother who wrote that he prays he will not marry such an "experienced " girl..is it not written in the Holy Quran..what types marry what types? Not to worry.