Beard woes

[DanyalSAC]

Asalaamu alaikum -

Though I'm not very active on this site any more, I decided to come and see if I could get some advice. And by advice, I'm not talking about long extensive ahadith quotes that I already know.

I have a full beard, a nice lehya that I'm quite proud of. I even have shampoo and conditioner designed just for the beard so I can take good care of it!

Some of the drawbacks have been that I'm one of the few Muslim men who actually grow his beard. This means that I've often been mistaken for a shaykh; matter of fact in the masallah in the Dubai airport I was asked to lead the Maghrib prayer (I declined).

Here's the big problem. I am without a job and have been for over a year now. I've been trying really hard but the economy in this country sucks. But I've been offered a job a couple of times, including a teaching job in Jordan for a Muslim establishment - the brother told me that I would have to shave the beard. A friend in San Francisco told me that he could drop a word to his counterpart locally (he works for a major university) but, he said, "if I refer you, you're going to have to shave the beard". I told him its a religious expression and would tell them that if I had an interview. He said "I wouldn't recommend it".

So I'm sitting here thinking, should I cut this beard at least down to "fashionable" level so that I can get a job? Or should I remain loyal to the commandment to leave the beard & trim the mustache? The latter hasn't gotten me very far. I have asked a shaykh who lives in Jordan - my old shaykh who returned for Ramadan, alhamdulillah - who said "leave it".

Anyway... should I remain full beard and jobless, and hope that someday ALLAH subhanahu wa ta'ala will have mercy on His servant who is following His Messenger, and help me find a job? Or should I "shave now, grow it back later" and get a better chance of getting hired?

JazakumAllah khairan for your input.

Daniel

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

Well for starters my sons have told me that November is no shaving month...oh brother..if you could see my sons right now...I told them just give me an edge up..

You know...I was without work for a year and a half...I drove everyone crazy. Yes, there were days when I forced myself to get dressed...the pj look was getting a little much.

I remained in hijab. I interviewed in hijab. I sent out so many resumes..I think I killed a forest.

The thing with us brother, is that we have come such a long way on the Path. I can not go back to anything else. I am now called a fundamentalist...I am still scratching my head on this one..

There is a great book linked on TTI. I'll send you a link..when I have time to dig it up...anyhow...the bottom line..we can not go backwards on the Path...it took so much to get here..

I took a position..I'm teaching at an Islamic school. I am having so much fun with my little flowers...Brother, would you believe that the job came the week I ran out of unemployment. Allah works in such subtle ways.

Hold on to that which is true..and please check into the extension for unemployment benefits..they have extended the weeks. Please keep posting here...you know like you be calm and collected...the strong masculine voice..

my love,

your aapa

 

[Hassan]

:salam2:
If all others drank alcohol to fit in, should you?
Just because things are difficult, means you are still being tested.
If you shaved to please your employer, how long before they ask you to come with them after work - you don't have to drink, just sit with them...
Ultimately it's your choice. But you ask for opinions, so here's mine: Keep it!

 

[DanyalSAC]

Assalaam walaikum,

Well for starters my sons have told me that November is no shaving month...oh brother..if you could see my sons right now...I told them just give me an edge up..

You know...I was without work for a year and a half...I drove everyone crazy. Yes, there were days when I forced myself to get dressed...the pj look was getting a little much.

I remained in hijab. I interviewed in hijab. I sent out so many resumes..I think I killed a forest.

The thing with us brother, is that we have come such a long way on the Path. I can not go back to anything else. I am now called a fundamentalist...I am still scratching my head on this one..

There is a great book linked on TTI. I'll send you a link..when I have time to dig it up...anyhow...the bottom line..we can not go backwards on the Path...it took so much to get here..

I took a position..I'm teaching at an Islamic school. I am having so much fun with my little flowers...Brother, would you believe that the job came the week I ran out of unemployment. Allah works in such subtle ways.

Hold on to that which is true..and please check into the extension for unemployment benefits..they have extended the weeks. Please keep posting here...you know like you be calm and collected...the strong masculine voice..

my love,

your aapa

Thank you sister Aapa...we may not agree on...well, much LOL...but its always a pleasure to hear your opinion and this time I do agree with you.

As a sidebar - I don't want this thread to go off on a tangent other than its original subject - I came so close to leaving Islam this year; I had to hang on to the deen by my molars and my fingernails. I felt that I had been gyped.

The hadith said that the dua of a traveler is never rejected, but mine (even to date) has not been granted. I was told that if I give up something for ALLAH He would give me something of equal value or better. I did, and (so far) He hasn't.

There is a long list of stuff that I have been struggling with since I became Muslim but I figured I will just stick it out! Even other brothers have given me this "Glad its not me!" look and say "Wow you're seriously being tested! ALLAH must love you!". I could live with that.

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

You know I had the blessing of reading something today...A person came to the Prophet, may the peace and blessing of Allah be upon him, and told him he was basically confused with all the Laws of Islam..and he asked what could he do to keep his faith..and the Prophet, may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said..keep your tongue moist with the Remembrance of Allah.

I'll keep you close to my heart in my dua.

One of my favorite posts was how you described leaving your job. I could just see you marching in like a warrior...hang in there brother. Allah loves you.

 

[DanyalSAC]

Assalaam walaikum,

You know I had the blessing of reading something today...A person came to the Prophet, may the peace and blessing of Allah be upon him, and told him he was basically confused with all the Laws of Islam..and he asked what could he do to keep his faith..and the Prophet, may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said..keep your tongue moist with the Remembrance of Allah.

I'll keep you close to my heart in my dua.

One of my favorite posts was how you described leaving your job. I could just see you marching in like a warrior...hang in there brother. Allah loves you.

JazakAllah khair (is there a gender specific way of saying that? Or does one size fit all?) sister. I did that after praying istakhara. And I'm still jobless LOL but I've been in the hospital three times since, so I'm sure ALLAH has it all under control.

 

[nyerekareem]

What if you trim the beard to a normal length? You gotta survive. You can't let a beard to cause you to lose your home. Brothers don't have to walk around with a Santa Claus beard to appear like Muslims. I'm not saying to shave your beard, but trim it to where it's acceptable to you and to a length where an employer would have no problem in accommodating.

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

Brother,

Isn't it weird how those things happen...I pray that your health is good. But, in hindsight you will see how the blessings of Allah were all around you..

You are strong in your faith. And you keep it up..

 

[ShahnazZ]

You know I had the blessing of reading something today...A person came to the Prophet, may the peace and blessing of Allah be upon him, and told him he was basically confused with all the Laws of Islam..and he asked what could he do to keep his faith..and the Prophet, may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said..keep your tongue moist with the Remembrance of Allah.

This actually struck a cord with me when I first read it. There have been times where I have been extremely tested and the waswasa in my head was magnified tenfold as a result. One of the sisters on this forum emphasized the fact about dhikr constantly being on the tongue. I figured it was just one of those things that a Muslim automatically does, without really thinking about it.

Boy was I wrong.

I kid you not, the adkhar actually functions as a repellant! At least it did for me. I literally experimented with myself once I realized it. My mind would be overrun by negative and detrimental thoughts and waswasa. But as soon as I'd start reciting adhkar, the thoughts would instantly STOP. When I ceased reciting the dhikr, it would start again! This happened to the point where it helped me remember to constantly keep adhkar on my tongue because it really works wonders on your mind and preserved my sanity when I was in danger of losing it.

I just find things like this to be super phenomenal . Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala truly does work in the most beautiful of ways. You just gotta have faith.

 

[a_stranger]

Say :astag::astag::astag::astag::astag::astag::astag::astag::astag:All the time , I am sure thing will be ok, we are tested all the time.

 

[a_stranger]

Why don't you try Saudi Arabia many men are with beard, or kuwait.

 

[Aapa]

Assalaam walaikum,

That's right sister...it's that simple...keep that faith. It got us to this point...and I am one grateful slave...one grateful Believer...

Brother,


You walk your fine Believing self into the next interview and they ask you why you want the job..you tell them..to serve the call of Allah.

 

[a_stranger]

:ma: sister
Many times I wish i have some of your High spirit , I pray that Allah keep our faith firm till we meat our Lord.

 

[bari]

:salam2:
Proper would be to find a balance of beard that is presentable and do not violate the rules of sharia. Muslims need to keep very presentable appearance, tidy and clean.

 

[esperanza]

:salam2:
Proper would be to find a balance of beard that is presentable and do not violate the rules of sharia. Muslims need to keep very presentable appearance, tidy and clean.

this seems very good advi,ce,,,

 

[esperanza]

Why don't you try Saudi Arabia many men are with beard, or kuwait.

well believe itor not,there are some places in saudi now Asking men to shave beards,,, iwas so surprisecd

youexpect people to find it hard in the wesy but now in jordan and even saudi ..so what is a man with a beard to do???

 

[DanyalSAC]

:salam2:
Proper would be to find a balance of beard that is presentable and do not violate the rules of sharia. Muslims need to keep very presentable appearance, tidy and clean.

So what are the rules of sharia concerning the beard?

 

[saifkhan]

So what are the rules of sharia concerning the beard?

as salam 'alaykum

refer to this article

this is one of the works on beard, which is free from any type of misconception and dispute. a complete work

wa-llahu a'lam

may Allah reward brother salahdin

barakAllahu feekum
wassalam

 

[alf2]

:salam2:
If all others drank alcohol to fit in, should you?
Just because things are difficult, means you are still being tested.
If you shaved to please your employer, how long before they ask you to come with them after work - you don't have to drink, just sit with them...
Ultimately it's your choice. But you ask for opinions, so here's mine: Keep it!

Please do not compare drinking to fit in with cutting one's beard to get a job and feed their family. That was low.

ALSO: He is not saying, "I guess ill shave this thing off!"
He merely wants to trim it to a level which Westerner's can handle. Read carefully.

 

[esperanza]

beard??

Please do not compare drinking to fit in with cutting one's beard to get a job and feed their family. That was low.

ALSO: He is not saying, "I guess ill shave this thing off!"
He merely wants to trim it to a level which Westerner's can handle. Read carefully.

yes iagree sister there is a difference,,,