candy candy
Junior Member
Assalam O Alaikum
Dear friends
uptil now I have been trying to sort out my issues but i believe that instead of reaching to any specific conclusion I feel that now I m embroiled and feel recluse due to exasperation and a long wait towards the solution
I believe that Allah has given me patience to face the ill and monstrous situations even though I try to be heedful in my life. I have always been a very good student and have completed my studies. But this educational journey has been a very tough one that I didnt even know that someday I would be able to complete it with the help of Allah. But now when I have to work, I am not even getting any job. My family believes that I am sitting idle inveterately. My parents had always expected so much from me that I could not fulfill their expectations. On the other hand, after a long wait for my job somehow they want me to get married but there are no proposals, not a single one. I can sense that embarrassment in the eyes of my mother especially and my sisters. My sisters feel that I am a burden now or some kind of curse for them which is like a bad thing to them and to their image in the society. My mother has asked me so many times that if u are interested somewhere then let me know, so that we could marry you there but I dont know what to say. Besides this, I was interested somewhere but that guy refused to marry me. I begged me and requested him to marry me because I loved him so much but he said that he would not marry ever. I talked to him about this issue but he didnt listen me. well on my so much request he is ready to be a friend only. The worst part about my luck is that whenever I try to do something good for myself, the things get worst. I pray regularly, read Quran and do Zikr but I believe that Allah is angry with me regarding my luck. I have been so much upset, depressed and irritated due to worst situations that I always thought that why do I exist if Allah has to be angry with me since my luck is not in my control. My cousins are also angry with me due to certain issues in the family. I dont know why they blame me although I love them and always care for them.
I was such a jolly and chill girl that I had never even imagined to face such horrendous situations in my life. I had tried very hard to overcome the problems and begged Allah to forgive me and pull me out of all this bad luck but dont know why I am still stuck. I am helpless for my self. I am a curse for my family as I am unable to help them or to do something good for them. I miss the man I loved. yet today I always request him that please consider my love, my sincerity, my honesty for you but he is cold hearted man. I dont know why I loved him so much when Allah knew he would not love me in return. I believe that there is no one to accept me and to marry me. I dont know why these trials are becoming so tough for me. I dont know what to do
I cry and cry and just cry all the time. My heart is broken as it can never be healed again. Everyone hates me. I feel like i am alone in this cruel world. I dont know what to do now. Well is this the reward of being so sincere and honest? Is this the reward of being so self realizable?? Is this the reward of patience?? I dont know how much to suffer further in this life. I feel I am so much tired now. I fed up of being such a loser and a failure.
Please suggest me what to do now?? how to stay alive??
Pray for me. I am dead......
Dear friends
uptil now I have been trying to sort out my issues but i believe that instead of reaching to any specific conclusion I feel that now I m embroiled and feel recluse due to exasperation and a long wait towards the solution
I believe that Allah has given me patience to face the ill and monstrous situations even though I try to be heedful in my life. I have always been a very good student and have completed my studies. But this educational journey has been a very tough one that I didnt even know that someday I would be able to complete it with the help of Allah. But now when I have to work, I am not even getting any job. My family believes that I am sitting idle inveterately. My parents had always expected so much from me that I could not fulfill their expectations. On the other hand, after a long wait for my job somehow they want me to get married but there are no proposals, not a single one. I can sense that embarrassment in the eyes of my mother especially and my sisters. My sisters feel that I am a burden now or some kind of curse for them which is like a bad thing to them and to their image in the society. My mother has asked me so many times that if u are interested somewhere then let me know, so that we could marry you there but I dont know what to say. Besides this, I was interested somewhere but that guy refused to marry me. I begged me and requested him to marry me because I loved him so much but he said that he would not marry ever. I talked to him about this issue but he didnt listen me. well on my so much request he is ready to be a friend only. The worst part about my luck is that whenever I try to do something good for myself, the things get worst. I pray regularly, read Quran and do Zikr but I believe that Allah is angry with me regarding my luck. I have been so much upset, depressed and irritated due to worst situations that I always thought that why do I exist if Allah has to be angry with me since my luck is not in my control. My cousins are also angry with me due to certain issues in the family. I dont know why they blame me although I love them and always care for them.
I was such a jolly and chill girl that I had never even imagined to face such horrendous situations in my life. I had tried very hard to overcome the problems and begged Allah to forgive me and pull me out of all this bad luck but dont know why I am still stuck. I am helpless for my self. I am a curse for my family as I am unable to help them or to do something good for them. I miss the man I loved. yet today I always request him that please consider my love, my sincerity, my honesty for you but he is cold hearted man. I dont know why I loved him so much when Allah knew he would not love me in return. I believe that there is no one to accept me and to marry me. I dont know why these trials are becoming so tough for me. I dont know what to do
I cry and cry and just cry all the time. My heart is broken as it can never be healed again. Everyone hates me. I feel like i am alone in this cruel world. I dont know what to do now. Well is this the reward of being so sincere and honest? Is this the reward of being so self realizable?? Is this the reward of patience?? I dont know how much to suffer further in this life. I feel I am so much tired now. I fed up of being such a loser and a failure.
Please suggest me what to do now?? how to stay alive??
Pray for me. I am dead......