...but she owns a dog.

D

DanyalSAC

Junior Member
(Please forgive me for cross-posting this. I initially posted it in the Brothers only area but upon retrospect I figure there's no reason to keep it just to brothers, and besides, that forum is kinda...well, not visited very often)

Asalaamu alaikum my brothers and sisters in Islam...

What would you do....

I've met a sister who would be a perfect wife for me...we've met and talked several times, we've found compromises on all our differences but one....she has a dog. She says she follows the sunnah that says that its permissible to own a dog for protection.

Her dog is a 4 lb poodle.

I told her that in order to follow that sunnah the dog is to be kept outside. I told her the hadith about angels not visiting a house with pictures or a dog inside. I would hate to turn away something that otherwise is almost perfect for me, but I'm not sure how to compromise on this. My masjid is without a shaykh (well, a full time one) so I'm not sure who to turn to on this.

Any advice?

Thanks in advance

Daniel
 
Salam2You

Salam2You

Lil' Muslimah
Salam~!

Tell her to get a cat instead, show a video of a shaykh from youtube explaining why keeping a dog in the house is wrong. A video on youtube is sufficient enough to persuade.
 
H

HusseinYusuf

New Member
Daniel,

Not all schools of Islam believe that a dog is najis. For example the school of Imam Malik states that the dog is not najis, as there is no evidence to support such a statement within the Glorious Qur'an. Also, look at the story of the people of the cave and how their companion was a dog; surely, if a dog was najis then Allah (swt) would have definitely mentioned it at that juncture.

There are also those who believe those ahadith which discuss dogs are not sahih, and indeed may be completely false. One story that I read, which makes a valid though simple point, is that there is a hadith which states Angels do not go near the house which houses a dog, and another which states every drop of rain falls to earth with an angel. Now, either both are true, both are false, or only one is. As such, think about this, when the rain falls there is not one building in a street which does not get wet - even those with a dog.
 
A

Abu Talib

Feeling low
HusseinYusuf said:
Daniel,

Not all schools of Islam believe that a dog is najis. For example the school of Imam Malik states that the dog is not najis, as there is no evidence to support such a statement within the Glorious Qur'an. Also, look at the story of the people of the cave and how their companion was a dog; surely, if a dog was najis then Allah (swt) would have definitely mentioned it at that juncture.

There are also those who believe those ahadith which discuss dogs are not sahih, and indeed may be completely false. One story that I read, which makes a valid though simple point, is that there is a hadith which states Angels do not go near the house which houses a dog, and another which states every drop of rain falls to earth with an angel. Now, either both are true, both are false, or only one is. As such, think about this, when the rain falls there is not one building in a street which does not get wet - even those with a dog.
Click to expand...
Assalamu`alaykum wa rahmatullah
Yes, but did Imam Malik told to keep them as pets or did the dog belong to the cave men?
 
H

HusseinYusuf

New Member
As far as I am aware, he had no opinion either way. He only thought it was ludicrous to call the animal najis, but then say it was fine to eat what they had picked up in their mouths after hunting.

Personally, I see no problem in keeping a dog whether at home or outside. A dog is a fiathful companion, all one must be careful of is that the animal does not distract from your duties to Allah (swt) or to your family ie the dog eats steak everynight, but you give your family leftovers.
 
thariq2005

thariq2005

Praise be to Allah!
Assalaamu `alaykum akhee HusseinYusuf

The opinion of Imaam Maalik was that the Saliva of the Dog is not Najis. This is different from keeping a dog in the house.

Brother Daniel, I know your shaykh is not in the country. But I will advise you to ask this question to a person of knowledge. If you want you can PM me the whole situation and I can try and find out for you from someone who is well-grounded in terms of knowledge.

Wassalaamu `alaykum
 
I

IHearIslam

make dua 4 ma finals
Assalaamu alaikum...

akhi the best thing I can tell you is to pray Istikharah....Allaah will surely show you the right way to proceed!! Thats all I can think of now. May Allaah give you what is best for you ! ameen
 
fatma_said

fatma_said

Junior Member
:salam2: Brother

forgive me for asking but how can a poodle protect anyone? It cant it even protect itself from other dogs... She clearly has no real argument there. Just trying to circumvent the sunnah

and to husseinyusuf i believe the words of the prophet is much more important than a scholar. The saliva is definitely najis


Imam Muslim narrates in his Sahih that God’s Messenger declared:

When a dog has licked a bowl of yours, clean it seven times, first time with earth, the other six with water.

This hadith contains the following medical principles:

a) Dogs may be carrying the microbes of certain diseases possibly communicable to human beings, a fact which has only recently been discovered.

b) The saliva of dogs, like their excrement, may contain subtances greatly injurious to man’s health.

c) At the time of the Prophet, upon him be peace and blessings, neither disinfection nor sterilization was known. Nevertheless, God’s Messenger, being a Prophet taught by the All-Knowing, recommends earth to clean a bowl licked by a dog. We know today that earth is a good antiseptic containing substances like tetracycline.
 
W

WithAllahsPowers

WE ARE PROTECTED
*AmatuAllah4lyf* said:
Assalaamu alaikum...

akhi the best thing I can tell you is to pray Istikharah....Allaah will surely show you the right way to proceed!! Thats all I can think of now. May Allaah give you what is best for you ! ameen
Click to expand...

oh yes, i agree, pray istikharah.

she may not be the one. Allah might have someone better for you for your future, lifelihood, akirah etc. OR she may be the true one written for you and if so congrats for finding her.

but ask Allah, he will let you know, make dua for your question too, he will guide you and let you find your answer.

say 'Oh Allah, if she is the one for me, and good for me in my life and future, then bring her closer to me and allow it to work out and bless us together, if she is not the right one for me and is not good for me in my life and future, then take her away from me and help me to find the right lady. afterall, your decision is better than mine. whatever you choose for me is best for me. i do not know what is best for me no matter how strong it is'

Allah is there, he can hear you see you feel your pain and stress, his waiting for you to call for him. speak to him, pray istikarra, he will answer you inshallah.

let us know what happens. All the best inshallah. may allah guide you to the right path. she sounds like a lovely person. If you really want her, inshallah she will be yours. but get Allahs permission and advice first. okay brother.

salam.
 
a_muslimah86

a_muslimah86

Hubbi Li Rabbi
Staff member
:salam2:

akhi..it's sad but the sister really doesn't have a strong case..

a poodle is NOT a guard dog (I think you know this well)..it's not the kind of breed for that purpose..I forgot the word used for them..but they're considered the same as the little dogs women in high societies stuff in purses and such...

sobhanallah!

and even assuming she DID in-fact have *a guard* dog (of the *breed* specific for that)...you're correct in that it has to be *outside*..AND..she has to be living in a very very large estate...or one that is secluded (i.e. newer neighborhood, farm, city limits, etc.) in order for the verdict to apply to her..

I think you should come up with some sort of compromise...after checking on the most valid scholarly verdict of what to do...

and speak to her about several compromises...

one being giving the dog away to a family that will *surely* take care of it..

another is building a little cage outside with proper protection for the animal if she lives in a house...

and a third is replacing her dog with a cat..and that you would personally get her one (if you were to finalize your decisions about marriage inshallah) as a gift for her (you'd hit 2 birds with 1 stone in this one actually..in that you'll earn a compromise..and soften her heart by giving her a gift)

also I don't know if you have spoken to her about having children..but remind her of the ills and dangers that your children would be exposed to by being around a pet..

perhaps she's just nervous about married-life and is hanging on to the dog to sort of hang on to "something" that she dearly loves before she enters a new phase of life..you wouldn't believe the things women become attached to when considering marriage..it's all due to their sentimental nature and their nerves akhi!...

so assuring her that you're simply following the most correct Sunnah will have her let go..especially if you spoke to her gently and gave her several options

because like you..I really don't see why you should turn away what you believe is a perfect woman because of this issue which can be *easily solved* (bi ithni Allah) akhi..

so spend effort in finding the most correct verdict...making dua'a (the hearts of mankind lay between 2 fingers of Allah's Hand..so seek Allah to turn her heart's state about this matter to that which pleases Him)..and speaking to her gently..and inshallah nothing but khair will happen...

wallahu 2a3lam

:wasalam:
 
D

DanyalSAC

Junior Member
First of all, jazakumAllah khairan for all the replies and the suggestions.

I have prayed istakhara, and I do feel that she is "the right one". There are too many similarities and things that fit - while at the same time I do not believe that anyone is a 100% match, there will always be compromises and things we need to work on together.

I have heard through the sister grape vine (one sister tells another who tells another and then I hear it from someone's husband) that the dog is not potty trained and bites; its victims include her best friend and the dog's owner herself.

What I would like to do is sit with her and a shaykh and have him tell her the sunnah, so it doesn't sound like I'm trying to be controlling.
 
fatma_said

fatma_said

Junior Member
:salam2:

Consider this

Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi was sallam) said, "A woman is normally sought as a wife for her wealth, beauty, nobility, or religiousness (adherence to Islam), but choose a religious woman and you will prosper. " (Muslim)

"The whole world is a provision, and the best object of benefit of the world is the pious woman. " (Muslim)

If you wish to prosper marry the one that will not compromise her deen in anyway.
:wasalam:
 
A

Aapa

Mirajmom
Assalaam walaikum,

First, Brother I am pleased that you are making progress in the wife hunting area. Insha'Allah, I am awaiting a slice of wedding cake.

Two, I used to own dogs. It got to the point where I went crazy. Dog hairs fly everywhere. I do not like dogs in my kitchen. I was not winning. I tried keeping the dog outside..I was not winning. She the best dog in the world. I had eight puppies, two cats and six kittens at one time. I decided I was a mommy and not a pet store owner. I gave the animals up. Yes, I cried and cried but got over it.

There are many good organizations that help you find a good match for your animal. If the dog is older they actually have adopt an older dog program. What I am saying is there are options.

Now, for the young lady...not to worry. A good man is hard to find..there are dogs everywhere ( sorry, I find myself being funny). I can not imagine a woman would take a dog over a man. That is just the simple truth.
 
BrotherInIslam7

BrotherInIslam7

La Illaha Illa Allah
Staff member
DanyalSAC said:
What I would like to do is sit with her and a shaykh and have him tell her the sunnah, so it doesn't sound like I'm trying to be controlling.
Click to expand...

:salam2:

Just wanted to say that I really like this idea. If it came from a learned person, it would make it more clear to her why is there an issue of keeping the dog indoors.

Keep praying Istikhara akhi and ask Allah azz zawajal to assist you in making the right decision. You will be in my duas InshaAllah.

Wasalaamalaykum waa rahmatullahi
 
W

WithAllahsPowers

WE ARE PROTECTED
DanyalSAC said:
First of all, jazakumAllah khairan for all the replies and the suggestions.

I have prayed istakhara, and I do feel that she is "the right one". There are too many similarities and things that fit - while at the same time I do not believe that anyone is a 100% match, there will always be compromises and things we need to work on together.

I have heard through the sister grape vine (one sister tells another who tells another and then I hear it from someone's husband) that the dog is not potty trained and bites; its victims include her best friend and the dog's owner herself.

What I would like to do is sit with her and a shaykh and have him tell her the sunnah, so it doesn't sound like I'm trying to be controlling.
Click to expand...

salam,

im glad to hear you've already prayed istakhara. if you really feel strong about her, dont let her go. go get her. if she feels the same about you, im sure she would love to do anything to please you and make you happy.

how do you feel about the dog? do you prefer her to keep it in the backyard not indoors or for her not to have a dog at all? withever one you feel, tell her how you feel, you cant keep your feelings away for too long, shes probably waiting for you. im sure when you tell her she will smile and say okay what ever makes you happy and pleases my lord. and if she finds out you've been worried about this problem, she will tell you why didnt you come to me and tell me?

when she becomes your wife inshallah, you will always face situations and complicates, so you must always learn to communicate and talk to each other and show your feelings and exchange opinions. start doing this from now. tell her, tell her i dont want you to think im in controll already, but because of how i feel about you i just want to talk about the dog.

please speak to her, do you know how happy and releif your heart will feel, you will be so proud of yourself. As allah to guide through when speaking to her so she doesnt get upset.

honestly, just speak to her and how you feel about the dog, please speak to her. you'll be so happy.

its not as hard as it looks. shes not going to hit you or tell the dog to bit you lol, she will be a beautiful girl with patience and give you satisfactory. This situation will bring you together and closer more than ever.
 
D

DanyalSAC

Junior Member
BrotherInIslam7 said:
:salam2:

Just wanted to say that I really like this idea. If it came from a learned person, it would make it more clear to her why is there an issue of keeping the dog indoors.

Keep praying Istikhara akhi and ask Allah azz zawajal to assist you in making the right decision. You will be in my duas InshaAllah.

Wasalaamalaykum waa rahmatullahi
Click to expand...

Yesterday I spoke to one of Sacramento's itinerant shayuk who goes back and forth between my masjid and SALAM center as a teacher. He said that since she and I are both new Muslims (I took shahadah Dec of 2008, she a year earlier) I should be patient and not let a dog get in the way of what could very well be a good match.

He said that the deen will grow in her heart as we both learn together, and as that happens she will see things on her own, inshallah.
 
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